Midwestern Hedgie 🏳️⚧️
@MidwestHedgie
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M.D. fmr @usuhealthsci; shorts, governance, human rights, fruit & native plants, matters of the heart; not investment advice
Toledo, OH & Louisville, KY
Joined April 2009
@GadSaad things you can "safely" say to your gender-ambiguous server: ."hello"."how are you?"."can i have a coffee with cream & sugar"."the leaves are beautiful out there"."those are great shoes". things not to say: ."what up, theyfriend?"."can i see your genitals?".
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@ABCNetwork @mPinoe Dear Angry People of Twitter,.(1) Celebrities' time, bodies, etc. belong to them. not anyone else. they don't owe anyone anything. (2) approaching someone for an autograph at the ESPYs, 16 seconds before live air, is not great. It was a kind gesture of her to sign the ball.
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@Medicare64 @ericspiegelman Truly sorry you don't have a real man to rearrange 60% of the dishes after you put them in.
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from an LP who, years before meeting me, bought 100 shares of $AAPL in 2004, for $6k 👀
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America be like: I went to MIT and majored in artificial intelligence. Then I got a PhD in synthetic biology. Now I am the director of algorithms for short-term subprime consumer lending.
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@EuanYours literally these right-wing dudes are trying to revise queer history the same way they have revised civil rights history & MLK. it's wild to see in real-time:
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Big career milestone achieved. 1,002.57% since inception (Aug 15, 2008) as of 1 Dec. With no down years (not 2008, nor 2011, nor 2015, or 2018, or 2022). (Past peformance is no guarantee of future results, etc, etc.).
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watched "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" tonight and my girls were like "why don't we get popcorn balls and cookies for trick-or-treats? that looks good!" so i got to explain the "hospitals X-raying your halloween candy bag for free" era of suburban paranoia.
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rich dudes who illegally take huge ppp checks for their thriving business & then complain about govt spending when they are afraid their taxes will be raised should shut the fuck up.
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Josh Brown is the new Ken Fisher. A beta-only retail wealth manager who speaks & writes to the public about investment theses, but doesn't make a living trading them, because every ounce of his success comes from being a relentless marketer with a thin veneer of intellect.
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@Jon_Christian a dude in my neighborhood just has a full sized regular "STOP" sign on the back of his truck for no reason. going to definitely cause a Tesla to get rear-ended someday.
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@EricB_013 @eliyudin if it kills you "the logs" will show autopilot disengaged 0.1 seconds before that and you died from "driver error".
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@RoxanLees @krisv_723 @TwopTwips on that extreme close-up, there's also some sort of ulceration at the base of the glans. why does this vegetable have signs of genital herpes?.
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Unknown Market Wizards, like every other book in the series, is stone cold gold.
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@DLamontJenkins @Theblackbayarea wow @Kimpton security seems to have handled this pretty well. lovely to see the intolerant Karens escorted out, and nobody got needlessly bodyslammed/they did not escalate it to a law enforcement issue.
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@WWEMilhouse @voraciousbrain wow, this definitely tops the Albany Airport Concourse B Bondage Ball
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Bloomberg says pulling a value using the Excel Add-in, then saving that value as a value, & sharing it with other members of your firm, who are also Bloomberg subscribers, is a violation of their ToS. $25k a year (x6 seats) does not buy you "Paste as Values." What rent seekers.
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yeah sex is cool but have you ever escaped from a terrible trade with only a small loss?.
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@KitchenMajick @abbygov you can't tell this to anyone. either they'll think you cheated or else you picked a terrible starting word. getting the Wordle in one try is always a curse this way, but especially so today.
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To whom it may concern:. If your custodian is paying 8.6% interest on USD cash balances, you are taking massive, catastrophic levels of counterparty risk.
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i love the fact that when some Tennessee Republican quotes (or misquotes) the Bible or a foundational American text, @Justinjpearson is there in the chamber always ready to rip their hypocrisy bare.
WATCH: “Transgender people are people, Representative.” . Rep. @Justinjpearson gives Rep. Gino Bulso (R-Brentwood) a lesson on the constitution as he rips his latest anti-trans youth bill — again focusing on athletes, which has not been an issue in Tennessee.
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@sama If "the side of climate" is a con man billionaire subsidy truffle hound greenwasher who hops around in a Gulfstream, and "innovation" is using millions of passengers as beta testers for glitchy software at 75 MPH, then we're all fucked. Think better, guy.
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@mariskreizman not always, but the relative risk for type 2 diabetes is something like 5-6x for obese patients, and >20x for patients with significant central obesity. "overweight" is a strong, legitimate, independent risk factor for type 2, which is 90-95% of diabetes mellitus in the U.S.
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@Tha_FrenchGuy @Lithunium_Snow @DK8sam "That girl is so basic even her math jokes are pumpkin spice.".
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100%. it's hard to express just how tiresome it is to have journalists—people who have access to trans people and to scientific & medical expertise—instead constantly giving huge platforms to bigoted people for clicks and pretending it's some sort of important public service.
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@christapeterso one way in which women are better than men is the women who aspire to run a sex cult at least have the decency to just run a sex cult, and not *market* how to run a sex cult, as this would be considered very tacky.
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neither long nor short $AMZN, but megacaps trading like shitcos on small news items is probably not a great sign for where we are in the market cycle.
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A U.S. company recently made one of the most effective, technologically-advanced vaccines ever, in record time. And then U.S. intelligence officials got Russia's intentions towards Ukraine nearly 100% correct. Our institutions are strained, but they sure still have their moments.
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If, over the last 5 years, we had gotten long every <$200 mil company as soon as I had conviction that they were a fraud, we'd have had so many 5-10 baggers that it makes me laugh. The efficiency of capital allocation in the U.S. must be at a multi-decade low.
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If Portnoy really cares about the little guy, how come he donated only $500k to NYC restaurants, but $700k to hedge funds?.
"I have officially sold all my meme stocks. I lost 700k ish. Vlad and company stole it from me and should be in jail."
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The longs are definitely manipulating $CLOV. It has traded 650 mil shares today, but there are only 148 mil class A shares outstanding. How are they buying shares that don't even exist??? #they #nakedlong. p.s. do not Google "naked long" from your work computer.
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Name a completely beaten down stock (down 75% or more) that you think is probably going to make it through this with the equity tranche of the capital structure not severely impaired. I'll go first. $PLCE.
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strongly believe that if you make >$200k or so per year, you should tip very well. $10 min for Doordash. 25%+ at meals. $20-$50 per night (depending on price/quality) for hotel housekeeping. Tipping is like a privately-enforced earned income tax credit but without any EIC fraud.
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Heard from a friend this morning who runs a bakery. He notes that all his workers will literally earn $600 a week more if he shuts down for the next 4 months, his demand is somewhat down anyway, and the loan program is terrifying. Imagine this must be happening all over the U.S.
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@BCAppelbaum @sharkbiotech Somewhere this man has a high school varsity jacket with the letter he earned in debate.
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@9Unified @libbyjones715 Reading a piece about the mundane everyday complicity of people in the holocaust, and then turning it into a call for the broadest possible free speech, including holocaust denial, is quite a galaxy brain take.
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i'm back short this beast $TSLA in decent size. they are paying you 4% carry to short a car company at 55x forward earnings, in a very late-cycle economy. and it has this chart. and the sentiment/options variables are hugely suspect.
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I spend $5k+ a year on things i see in $FB ads, have made $500k+ this year on ideas from this birdsite, meanwhile this guy can't even get $10 in ARPU and wants us to think he's some sort of financial guru???.
Hyperinflation is going to change everything. It’s happening.
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Donald Trump: leader of the free world.Elon Musk: richest person on earth. Something seems very broken here.
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"What do you do?". "I manage a hedge fund.". "I don't know what that is." . "Well, a hedge fund is like a mutual fund, except when Gwyneth Paltrow has a new business idea, you can make money betting against it.".
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We finished 2022 +6.5 to +7% net, our 15th consecutive profitable year! Thank you to everyone who played a part, including all of our imaginary electronic friends here. We value your imaginary e-friendship. (past performance not a guarantee of the future, yadda yadda).
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just had a killer fintech startup idea. an app where men can transfer money directly to the rich guys they stan. Elon Musk, Dave Portnoy, Tom Brady, Chamath, Joe Rogan, the $BLNK CEO. you can give any of them your money and we'll charge like just a 2% transaction fee.
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It was literally a year ago today that a couple of my (non-investment professional) friends told me how great @Chamath was for "caring about the little guy.". It seems there is an inexhaustible supply of easily-led dumb fuckers in the world ready for a messiah to monetize them.
If you scare people enough, they will demand removal of freedom. This is the path to tyranny.
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shoutout to our analyst who i only shot down the last eight times he wanted to add to $ATVI.
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$SPY down 15% from "blue skies ahead" to "the deepest recession of our lifetimes" sure feels like a generational selling opportunity. (If not, we are headed for a truly impressive amount of inflation.)
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The only fact you need to know to know marijuana gross margins will fall like a rock in the next 5 years with legalization: An acre of soybeans yields about $650 worth of crop. An acre of quality apples yields about $5,000. An acre of marijuana currently yields about $1 million.
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I'm going to draft model legislation that would ban Senators, members of Congress, & their staff from owning individual equities & options, & would instead allow them to rollover holdings into the Thrift Savings Plan with tax basis intact (not stepped up).
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@SarahNEmerson I don't know how long I can do this, but the best person I know just died, and apparently she wanted everyone to be kinder, so allow me to say: her boots are cute, and his pants are the perfect length for a man of his age (one break).
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It's crazy how still so few people, nearly 5 years after the fact, realize that Solar Roof was securities fraud to justify a Tesla bailout of SolarCity, because allowing the company to fail would have been financially & reputationally costly to the Musk family.
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@babydahmer i'm floored at how many people took issue with this. sexual attraction is not socialism. who wants to be with some burpy dude who consumes 4 days of sugar in one meal? it's perfectly reasonable to want a partner who treats their own body with respect.
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People are so used to @elonmusk "redefining" securities law that i haven't seen a single mention as to how this can possibly constitute a "passive" stake. Seeking a change in corporate practices is a textbook case requiring a 13D filing, so of course he files a 13G instead.
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$FB wasn't huge for us (163 bps), but I'm furious at myself for not taking any off before this report, as both (1) people spending less time on the hellsites and (2) a transition from goods marketing to services marketing were obvious AF, and I let "only 21x eps" deceive me.
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when you are definitely not invested in a Ponzi scheme.
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In spite of knowing how large the policy response has been, sometimes it astounds me that we are entering the deepest recession of my lifetime, S&P 500 companies are carrying a goodly burden of debt, and yet the equity tranche of those companies has only lost 25% of its value.
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if you're short $TSLA and you want the stock down, instead of trying to educate people about valuation or securities fraud or anything else Elon has done, it's probably a lot quicker to just keep saying "President Musk" until Trump takes care of things for you.
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Of all the dumb stocks that I've seen in my career, $SAVA at a $1.4 billion valuation is, by far, profoundly the dumbest (outside of some bubble period, like 1999-2000 or 2020-2021). The government literally just told people that all of their basic science work is a fraud. .
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apparently the dude Musk fired live on the platform this week has muscular dystrophy and was supposed to be a long-term twitter employee after selling his company to them. Elon's "engineering degree" is from Trump University.
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Using your actual steering wheel for a driving game is indeed not great for your tires.
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when Trump got elected I started scrambling to get my name and gender legally changed on several various documents sooner than I had been planning to, and apparently the courts in Lucas County are very fast, so anyhow I'm now officially Claire Margaret Brown!!!.
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@MikeBeauvais terrible George Floyd tributes were quite the genre. i think i would rank Guetta #3, Dems in Kente cloth #2, and the more obscure, Ohio Board of Education adopting a resolution in support of a bunch of racial equity initiatives, and them banning them all a year later, #1
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It's wild to me how many people in their 20s, 30s, and even beyond still don't understand that goods & services don't produce themselves, and aren't a zero sum game. Human prosperity comes from human proficiency.
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Some math: at $50 per ton of CO2. the government gave Tesla $5 billion (with a B) in subsidies, then Tesla saved the world $250 million (with an m) in CO2 last year, meanwhile Elon became worth $182 billion (with a B) personally somehow??? biggest greenwashing scam on earth.
In 2020, Tesla customers helped accelerate the world’s transition to sustainable energy by avoiding 5.0 million metric tons of CO2e emissions. Impact Report →
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god please give us an @TheOnion article in which the CDC recommends PrEP for all Americans over the age of 2 on the basis of Provincetown Bear Week data.
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@DavidGilbertCCM I am a HEDGE FUND MANAGER. I own part of THIS STORE, YOUR FAVORITE BEER, YOUR FORKLIFT, and YOUR LABOR. If you don't like it .THAT'S SOCIALISM.
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Has anyone ever published a credible explanation of why @elonmusk had pledged enough shares of $TSLA stock as of June 30, 2021 to borrow nearly exactly $15 billion against it? Where on earth is all of that money going? That would seem to be an important question.
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$DIS cancels all shooting of live-action films. What if $NFLX does the same and the virus causes them to have positive free cash flow???.
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@EricRWeinstein The people closeted for fear of job loss or death were not publishing queer activist newsletters on the Internet in 1956? How can this be???.
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@JoyceCarolOates "Private individuals/companies don't like my book because it contains slanderous misinformation" is not censorship. This is yet another rant from a person mad that she can't bully who she wants to & be universally praised for it. Actual censorhip is this:
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@gunsnrosesgirl3 @Rainmaker1973 anyhow here's how the real cloud actually looked. very cool, even without extra color added
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neighbor sent me a pic of my house tonight 🥰 . i love my neighborhood
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@Tinker_Dan @Jon_Christian same guy had a bright pink dumpster in his driveway with two big Trump signs on it, so i am a little hesistant to engage here.
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Canadian marijuana sales were $48.5 mil in December, total, for the entire country. Meanwhile $TLRY has a $7.3 bil market cap. Every child in Canada could eat a metric fuckton of hemp-protein pancakes every morning for breakfast, and this stock will still fall 90%.
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If serious CO2 mitigation costs $40 per ton, and a pure battery EV saves 40 tons over its lifecycle, why in hell would we spend $10k of taxpayer money to eliminate less than $1,600 of CO2?.
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Once you've had some measure of success, hedge fund manager is one of the most fun jobs ever. Imagine getting paid bigly to read about stuff and have opinions.
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@Canyonaro @geosyndicalist @tolstoybb the illiberalism must intensify until the descent into illiberalism ceases!.
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Every month I am not up (unless it's like $SPY -8% / us -0.5%), I have this existential crisis that I am wasting the one life the universe gave me. It's like, if I am spending time moving paper around for money, I sure as hell better be great at it. Do y'all experience the same?.
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@whstancil who just said this about Sebastien Franks, to your many twitter followers? you better hope that mf really is Sebastien Franks.
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All y'all ready for a "That truck isn't going on it's own; That truck is just rolling down a hill!" short report? . Good, because here it is. Shortest one I've ever written. (credit for amusing graphic to @quantian1)
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5,600 sq ft lovely restored tudor in Toledo for $399k. Features: indoor pool, public golf and tennis court across the street, breathable air.
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We're down year-to-date, we have two summer interns and just hired a new permanent employee, of course we didn't take PPP, and fuck any financial firm who did.
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@Esqueer_ i went over to TikTok to see how this ends, and the casino is pretty much like "that old lady's money is green, babe" but the girl's boyfriend (in Update 5) gives me hope for humanity.
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@MattyBoySwag143 @isaiah_bb omg kid. turn of your phone for a year and go touch some grass. read some old fiction. kiss a girl. you don't want to be a fucked up old boomer incel trapped in a high schooler's body.
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To people who were mislead into believing that buying highly shorted stocks was somehow a good idea: no, it's shit. Highly-shorted stocks suck. They always have. They consistently underperform over time. You experienced a once-in-several-decades bubble. Welcome back to reality.
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investment wisdom from a Bay Area friend: "When the dumbest people you know are all excited about the same investment, don't bet with them.".
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highly shorted stocks +8% today. TODAY. in one day. holy shit.
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Am short $TSLA bigly, right here. New highs will not be seen. Options structure/sentiment/technicals are all against it. This is the entry on the retest that I've been waiting for.
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@elonmusk @TheBabylonBee You tried to get a guy fired for writing about you. You swatted a whistleblower and tried to get him killed. You tried to get a kid thrown out of grad school for counting your cars. The last person anyone should ever listen to is you.
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