Mbinya
@Mbinya_1
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Liberal, writer, hedonist, gym rat & cyclist. Mambo mengi sitaki.
Kenya
Joined June 2021
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Pinned Tweet
Better than a good morning text. Ladies and gentlemen, Mnipee kazi ya writing I deliver.
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I’m trying to make my mum understand the state of the nation and she keeps insisting “these are the end times predicted in the Bible”. I guess I’ll cut communication for now.
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Kuna jamaa nilikuwa nasoma na yeye campo ashaenda kuwa makanga. Yaani hakuona ata better opportunities?
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A sweater I purchased was picking up static electricity, so I decided to return it.
The shopkeeper gave me another one free of charge.
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I gave you pussy when you were broke
What does the statement “I was there for you” mean when spoken by ladies?
😂😂😂
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Unaadmire mtu akifanya shopping alafu unaona ameweka downy na wow wow kwa shopping trolley yake 🛒😭😭😭
Who is not married in these streets?
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Quickmart has the tendency of labelling an item as on offer with a lower price on the shelf then failing to adjust price on the cashier's computer. If you dare ask they tell you that offer iliisha. Frauds.
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Nikiwa nimevaa mgongo wazi alafu mtu anshike hivi on the back na anikiss hivyo hiyo date inaisha that time tuende nyumbani akazime moto amewasha.
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Hi
@IntlCrimCourt
. Your suspect the other time got away with making witnesses mysteriously "disappear". Now, peaceful activists who are against over-taxation are being abducted. Your person is now the President of Kenya. Please look into it.
#RejectFinanceBill2024
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not even the CIA can make me show you texts za mtu nililala na yeye
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Unaenda kuzalishwa na misogynist anakuchokora womb anakuua akijaribu kutoa the male baby wa kwanza ndio akuwe first born.
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Apparently there’s a platform(s) where you get paid to chat with old people who are lonely. Cloudworkers and text broker factory(there might be more which I’ve not heard of yet). There’s one which pays through Mpesa I don’t know which one of the two.
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Using your mum as an example to put across the point that women are dumb is nuts.
My dad was a form 2 drop out , my mum was a graduate (English lit teacher) . Kuna siku i asked mom hii story ,she told me ati alijua my dad is a form 2 drop out when he died 😅😅😅😅. Women can be dumb
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I've seen a post saying teachers are not nowadays going on a strike. A teacher responds & says that they teach only what is equivalent to the pay. I want to laugh decently coz this is the absolute truth and the main reason private schools perform better than public ones.
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Come to my DM to shoot your shot; It's not a complete waste of time. I'm not married . So kindly invest your time in me, maybe it will favor you. Thanks in advance.
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Mwanaume akiwa hajui kuflirt kazi ni kukuliza "umekula?" mara tatu kwa siku.
Are you Glovo my brother?
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A certain fool camping on my tweet trying to show me that I am a loser yet yeye alilipa fare akuje kuniona, akanibembeleza anipeleke super nikakataa and I had told him that I have a boyfriend. Wanted to pay me for work not done too. Declined his night calls bado hakurada. Simps.
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Huyo hushinda akituambia alinunua gari akaanza kuattract baddies. Nimeona huyo baddie wake nimeshangaa sana.
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So my ex died waaah heri hivyo aliniwacha juu sijui how I would handle death
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Huyo tangu afike 27 years husband-less anashinda akisifu wanaume kwa TL yake na kusema vile she should be dominated.
I hope she gets one tweep soon who's looking for a clown.
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Harder haimaanishi deeper.
Madem husema "harder" ni kama uko na some more d*ck umeficha chini ya pillow.
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Ukiona kiziwi ameanza kusikia baridi basi jua ndio ameanza kupona🥺😂
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@Ole_Kaelo
Sugar incites hunger hormone. So you end up eating more food than the body needs. Now that's where the harm comes in. When you eat more than enough for the body, the extra is stored as fat. You become fat, you are sick.
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@Kenyans
We are not giving you a chance to rig elections. We have foreign numbers. We can use other networks. We can transact from bank physically. We can call WhatsApp to WhatsApp using the foreign numbers. We will kopa using your lines before you block them. You can now go ahead.
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And btw, she voted for Ruto. She voted for this government because she was carried away by the religiousness nonsense.
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"Alpha" men are taught not to marry early and preferably marry in their 40's because supposedly their value has risen and women's value has fallen.
In words they don't tell you but they imply, it's easier to get a wife at that age than it is in your late 20's.
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Wamesema creamers wako na STI? Alafu juzi walisema squirt ni mkojo? Mkawapea Kuma dry wakasema haibambi?
Wow. That's men.
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Kuna watu huwa baddies kwa picha lakini ukiwaona kwa ground ewww💀
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@Just_Wanjiru
Hujui Kizungu, hujui technology, hujui baba ya watoto wako, nini unajua? Usiseme kugonga magari .
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@LeeRussian
Watu wa kwenu wanafaa wapeleke death certificate huko wapewe pesa. But huwa iko na deadline sikumbuki ya how long, if not reclaimed inapewa serikali
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@evenmaina
😂😂😂😂 this can never go well because my dad will offer him alcohol and if he admits it's done.
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Men, how do you manage kukaa kwa nyumba na dem alikuwa amekuletea Kuma na akifika akatae? You are patient humans than I.
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Kuna jamaa huku hujifanya alpha sana na nimewahi type wah kwa status akanitumia mia tano na hajawahi nimeet.
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Not my mom though I’m sorry for your experience 👍
Mkichapa hesabu most of you mlizaliwa when your mums walikuwa 20-22yrs. Be happy atleast your mums walipata responsible dads. Sasa uko childless at 35yrs na dready omena unajamia a 20yr old amepats ball na chali ame-take responsibility.
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Huyu huwa anabully watu & she isn't what some boys have hyped her to think she is. Nilimuona CBD siku ingine karibu nimuwekelee kofi on behalf of you all lakini hiyo siku sikuwa in my usual gangster mode I was a little bit jovial. Kamama kafupi kanono kakitembea miguu inashikana.
Wewe ndio unanitusi ??? Si umepaka makeup na ukaingia Studio how bad is the damage kwani?? Toka Studio ingia Gym sasa Kibiritingom wewe unikome
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Hapo August last year kuna time I was very broke a friend akaniitia kazi kuuliza mshahara ni 23k. Politely declined. Heri niuze kuma pale kwa Tabby Wes siku nne kwa mwezi
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Anajua kuadvise watu vile watauza cabbage zao lakini watu wakimuadvise vile atadeal na grief anaanza kulia.
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2016 KCSE was basically repetition of previous KCSE questions in all papers. You only required a made familiar. LMAO.
I hate matiangi. Ile kitu alitufanyia kwa KCPE 2016. Thank God I was bright😭😭
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Girlfriend beaters give the best sex. Don't ask her why she is staying, it's the sex.
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Unaimagine vile ulikuwa unatroll mtu akiwa hosi ukisema ako na kaswende na ameenda bila kukusamehe. Bullies!
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Wababa wengine huwa some bunch of idiots. Unataka mtu alose pregnancy fat overnight enye bibi yako ameshindwa kulose in 5 years. Sijui ni wapi imeandikwa you can lose weight in one month. Wengine wenu mnaongea hivyo ata mko na vitambi mmeshindwa kukata in 30 years.
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I only listen to mtu tunavuana nguo. Kama hatudinyani usiniadvise advise wamama wako.
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Sijui mbona wanaume wengine huona kama sex ni favour kwa relationship. Sex is a basic need!
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Asking me "huwa unapeleka pesa wapi na huna watoto" is very abusive.
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Present day men are upset when they see a woman who doesn't want to get married by them and is fine by herself.
They thought that marriage is a basic need for women and a luxury for them😂😂
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Mamako anajua unanyonyesha watu wazima Nairobi na huna mtoto? 😂😂😂
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@MorrisMaurice95
@RobertAlai
Hujui unaweza fungua camera na uweke kwa mfuko ya shati ikiface mtu na hatajua?
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@Ole_Kaelo
"Hi, I think you'd be happy with someone else but not me, and I wish that you find that person as soon as possible, thanks for understanding."
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Niko kwa expressway. I pity the guy who has been given the job to trail me.
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@DrKanyuira
Pal sijawahi kukuchanua? Hizi ni za retweet group. They reply that to every business tweet
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Adams, Hukumbuki ukija kunililia vile uko na stress home hawataki kulipa fee na exam imekaribia. Mara unataka ulipwe robisearch ulipe na huwezi hama juu unahave kulipa fee kwanza? I ask once again, you thought that would make you get sympathy coochie?
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I pay for WiFi so that I can use it the way I deem fit. Why should I purchase airtime to call you and we’re both online? Oh wait are you working for Safaricom?
We’re both in Kenya why would you call me using WhatsApp Audio
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Lost money again. Investing is not for me. Business is not for me. Nijikute tena!
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On black tax, kama hutaki kuona your family ikiteseka do this.
Ukipata salary toa airtime na fare ya kuenda job. Tuma hizo zingine home. Live in the streets ndio usilipe rent. Depend on mobile loans for food.
Usikubali your siblings wateseke vile uliteseka.
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Shenzi. Idiot. Pakashume. Chui kasoro mkia. Umetax kila kitu hadi sasa viatu hatuna.
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Quick one, you people hate your fathers for not providing for you but love your mothers yet they chose to bring you on earth with that same person you hate?
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@Osama_otero
Kwanza ushago unashangaa mtoto anafungwa pampers wa nini. Mtoto anachomwa na pampers na mmekaa bure tu. Hizi vitu zinafaa kutumiwa mkitravel, my view though.
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