Mbali Biach
@Mbalibiach
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130,154
Following
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Statuses
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What you see is what you get.
Africa
Joined February 2015
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South African man Hand-builds Replica of 1967 Ford Mustang Entirely Out Of Wire. This honestly deserves endless retweets .
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I used to roll over and find my girlfriends lips when I woke up, now I roll over and find a tiny foot giving soft kicks to my face😂❤
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I don't know if we should thank God, DJ Maphorisa or money.
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and you were in a taxi.
So I was in a taxi and this guy was so fine but he had an iPhone 6 🤢
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At my funeral you'll have to show a picture of you with me at the gate to get a plate.
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Lockdown for what??? My baby got delivered... I paid in full so no debit order like DJ Maphorisa’s BMW M4 🙇🏻♀️
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Exams be like:
A plane is travelling south east at 240km/h with wind blowing north west at 63km/h.
Calculate the name of the pilot [15]
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Usifihleleni isinkwa ku wadrobe
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Which one?
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Listen carefully ladies Mlindo the vocalist has something to say
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So side chick heard her man's getting married, got her self a wedding gown, pulled up to the wedding to claim her man😂😂😂🙌
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If she doesn't Climax in 3 minutes my brother feel free to cum, Women have a tendency of coming late everywhere.
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@AsandaTeedow
You snooping in her closet while she's away is exactly why she had to get that. What kind of friend goes through your stuff when you not present.
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Anyone around Durban who can borrow me a pilots uniform? Attending my nieces parents meeting at 3pm at my former high school. I just wanna surprise my teacher.
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Nigerian Pastors landing in South Africa after hearing first confirmed case of
#CoronaVirusSA
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Doctor: udleni?
Me: Pizza, chocolate, burger(Dr interrupts)
Doctor: This is not Facebook ngzokuyeka ufe Mina mawuqamba amanga, udleni?!
Me: Papa ne mayonnaise😢
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Black parents will make u choose between pizza and school fees😢
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You don't leave your man for cheating, haven't y'all learned anything from this woman
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Imagine crying to your kids that you going to bomb other kids
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What Sjava went through is what amajita ekasi go through when their girl goes to Varsity.
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Kyadliwa kulelo tafula sisi
Went to get my
#SNEAKA
today, and they matched my dress so perfectly I haven't taken them off since 😍
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The way my English has advanced I no longer use small words like "cut" & "wash". Nou sengi "amputate the onion" "purify the dishes"
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These 2 were friendship goals through money and fame and being paralyzed and broke they stuck it out🙌✊
Retweet to confuse a 2000
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My lil nana turned 11 months today, just a few more weeks and we mark a whole year 😊
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KFC cashier: would you like to donate R2 for a hungry child?
Zulu guy: mbizeni ngizodla naye la!
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Somgaga: Hello abuti Steve, it's stevovo guys oh my gosh.
Steve: what in the niqqa hell is this.
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by the powers invested in me I now pronounce these 2 as potentials for each other.
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SBWL ukuya eZimbabwe noma u 3 days, ngibuye sengithi "sanribonani yonke imuntu"
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#JuliusMalemaChallenge
those girls we sent e-wallets but never showed up are here mama. They don't even return the money izinja! Give us a sign how must we deal with them🙏
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Ekasi drunk niqqas will step on your foot & ask you "uyakhuluma yini mfeth?"
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I once submitted my cv at this place, got called to write a test. Was told to return the following Monday with my urine for alcohol testing , I took my girls urine cos I had been drinking on the weekend. Results came back, I was told I’m pregnant💔
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sex in the shower is not as easy as it looks on tv, o tla gata sesepa and fall ka pipi wanyela.
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Can we agree first round🍆🍑 is 30 seconds, side niqqas need to stop putting us under unnecessary pressure😢
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When you laughing on a VN then you realize it's not recording so you have to re- laugh😂😂
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Your girl can have her last R800 in her wallet and shell give you R400 just so you get by. Meanwhile your homeboys got R60k in they account and won’t even lend you R15K to get on your feet. But those be your best friends.
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Guys I'm abused as a parent, this whole human refuses to walk💔
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Whites: I'm an Electrician.
Zulu's: yabo into ethi egesi nje!😂
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This is the season of "ubani ophuze amanzi wami wonke eFridge washiya isgubhu si empty"
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Sakuthola ume nomfana ekhoneni sima nawe. Angisho anikho safe.
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Your celebs market Ciroc in their music videos but won't market DJ Sbu's
#MOFAYA
come here and tweet shit on supporting local.
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When the topic is small d🍆cks and your girlfriend is just laughing one way
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@DjMaphorisa
You and creating unnecessary celebs, now she's gonna be famous for being drunk and blowing a whistle
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Praying for all the Gents going through stuff they can't talk about, hang in there bro👊
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This one is pretending to have class and standards that she herself does not portray. She's trash
#DateMyFamily
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Black parents never helped with homework, they just read the question over & over again then be like "NGLETHELENI IBHANDE UYADLALA LO ESKOLENI"😂😂
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Johnny Depp vs MaJohnayza inja kaMdeppana
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Please buy your fruits and veggies from aboMama in the next 2 days...this lockdown will be hard on all of us and even harder on them. Do your bit. 🙏🏾👊🏽
#shutdownsouthafrica
#CoronaVirusSA
#LockdownSA
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Ladies normalize these instead of lingerie, we really love this shit🔥
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On the other hand it's our ungorvanable youth😩 Kanti senzeni na?
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Ladies please stop putting emojis on your armpits & shave, thank you!
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Ngathi uhlutshiwe
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@PresJGZuma
But the letter you submitted in court said you too sick to attend court ngapha you hunting, or you hunting sick notes.
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If I date your babymama Your kid is mine too, and I dont want you near my family bra!
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When are you changing that body? onkare bottle ya Autumn Harvest
Mr English when are u changing ur profile pic
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Zulu's will go to the beach to wash off bad luck but come back with a 2l full of everyone's bad luck
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Ladies if your sister in law hates you,leave her brother and take her man. Now she hates you for the right reason
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