CA Mayank Parakh
@Mayank_Parakh
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Practicing CA | CFA | StartUps | Humour | Hyperbole and Irony | shitposting | Equity Research for fun| Pink Floyd | Poetry | Art |
Kolkata, India
Joined May 2009
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オリンピック
• 561044 Tweets
Christianity
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Cène
• 76784 Tweets
#TENatWATERBOMBBUSAN
• 68498 Tweets
DDAY YOU BETTA CATCH UP
• 67779 Tweets
隅田川花火大会
• 67485 Tweets
WTWGWS x MILKLOVE
• 64901 Tweets
ONE WORLD ONE SKY
• 63977 Tweets
世界遺産
• 60416 Tweets
佐渡金山
• 47043 Tweets
#男子バレー
• 42457 Tweets
バレー男子
• 33610 Tweets
#Olympics2024Paris
• 26356 Tweets
ニッポン
• 24082 Tweets
Vakko
• 22178 Tweets
#アークナイツハニバ2024
• 18259 Tweets
#withMUSIC
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Patrick HK Walk Vlog🫨
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Charlie Hebdo
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フルセット
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モンテス
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Pinned Tweet
In 10th grade when I said I wanted to be a CA, I didn't really mean filing returns on MCA and GSTN portal!
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Anant Ambani who clearly has a health condition, being trolled in a harsh manner for being an obese and getting engaged to a pretty girl is the lowest internet has gone to in a while.
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I wish the kids today know how huge the Tendulkar craze was!
Take Kohli fan base. Add Rohit fans to it. Add Dhoni fans to it. Then Add every body who are passive cricket watchers.
That was Sachin's fan base.
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Can you people suggest names for a baby boy starting with 'T'?
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Attended Arijit Singh Live yesterday. Showtime was 6:30 & he was on stage at 6:30. Never seen the main star taking stage less than 30-60mins into the show.
He sang for almost 4 hours WITHOUT A SINGLE BREAK. Singing continuously, without any fatigue in voice.
Humble. Superhuman.
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Saddest thing you will see on internet this month.
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So a guy turns up on national TV as a mentor to StartUps and blatantly advice- "Ca se dur raho" without any reasoning.
Sad part is it's CAs who are actually being mentors to lacs of startups, mostly without getting too much in return. And someone says this.
#SharkTankIndia
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One of my favourite fruit!
What do you call this in your region ?
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So in audit the GST officer has refused ITC for iPhone but allowed ITC on samsung. Says, why so expensive phone is required for business, it is only for personal use.
I have no words.
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A practising CA will never invest in Infosys Shares.
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DP dekh ke bachcha samajh liye kya?
Married hai mai!
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Sitting across with someone who that cleared CA Inter in 2009 and since then continuously giving CA Finals. Sacrificing life, marriage, everything.
She's saying she will sit again in November if she fails. I can't convince her for anything else.
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The kids here on Twitter who ask why we say Tendulkar is the greatest modern batsman. On his birthday today, I write a small thread.
1. When he was 18-19 he was scoring heavy overseas runs against great pace attack. When he was 38 he was scoring 200* in a single ODI innings.
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ICAI should also start a placement program for students who couldn't clear finals. There are lacs of such students, who have given so much time but have no one to accept their credentials.
A program from the Institute will open the doors.
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I don't understand the requirement of a Indian Institute of Accounting.
As a developing country where we are having huge shortage of medical & engineering Institutes, they are spending their limited resources on Accounting field where ICAI is doing good already.
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750 by Kohli doesn't matter, 600 by Rohit doesn't matter, shami Special doesn't matter, 10 wins doesn't matter.
If we can't win the trophy nothing matters.
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GST registration queries: "Your rent agreement is of six months, what are your future plans after that!"
Bro you are my GST officer, why act like my father-in-law!
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I am a qualified CFA, still all our Investment are taken care by my brother, who has no formal education in finance. And he has been doing brilliant job.
All I want to say is Degree or formal education means nothing if you aren't looking for a job.
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WhatsApp/Instagram/FB- We were down for few hours
Le Infosys:
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For Her:
7th- Rose Day
8th- Propose Day
9th- Chocolate
10th- Teddy
11th- Promise
12th- Hug
13th- Kiss
14th- Valentine's
For me:
7th-TDS Payment
10th- GSTR- 7,8
11th-GSTR-1
13th- GSTR- 6
15th- ITR/AOC-4
20th- GSTR-3B
28th- GSTR-9
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Vaibhav Taneja is the new CFO of Tesla!
An Indian CA. A senior manager in big 4 for 12 years and then this. Inspiration for many!
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People who don’t have any plans for new year are CAs.
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If Modiji now says they will conquer Pakistan, I will believe it!
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I am taking interviews for accountants for clients. During verbal talks, everyone says they are currently filing GST returns for their company with turnover of Rs 20/50/100 Crore.
Later they can't even answer a basic Journal Entry. This has become so irritating.
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Leave house at 5:30am, to reach college which starts at 6 am; just as college gives over, run to your office; as soon as your principal allows you to leave, run to your tuition classes; return home by 9:00 pm, collapse on your bed. Next day, wake up, repeat.
Life of a CA student
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My father once told me, "CA karlo reputation badega!"
I now use this increased reputation to call high profile directors, who doesn't take calls of normal employees, and ask for OTPs.
Thank you MCA!
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Those who say CAs are boring haven't met CAs yet. I am surrounded by the brightest minds, mostly humourous and always witty CA friends. Yes, all are workhorse and workaholic but no way boring.
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The audacity of a 5th pass man to talk "jab hum panchvi-chhatti me the" line.
Bro chhatti aap kabhi gaye hi nahi!
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1. NFRA
2. GST Audits taken away
3. Tax Audit Limited
4. Recommendations on Stat Audit to be taken away.
5. IIA to end CA monopoly.
Almost every quarter the profession is facing turn around. What could be the reason? And What would be the future if the trend continue?
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I am assigned the duty of dropping my nephew to the school, the same school I attended. He wakes me up at 7 and I leave for office after dropping him at 8:30.
Amazingly, the same school is again inculcating in me discipline even after a decade I passed out as student.
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I was a lonely boy all my life. None of my friends used to call me.
Then one day my Dad suggested that I should enroll for CA!
Now my friends Anjali, Priya, Sonu, Ketan & Rashmi from Bajaj Finance call me daily without fail.
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I have decided that I will not make any jokes on CSs! They were responsible for one extension and they made sure they got it!
Unlike us.
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Rakshabandhan Day. ITT training, ICAI. A girl was teasing my friend that she would tie him a Rakhi.
As the girl, sitting beside the boy, moved to tie the rakhi, the teacher told her to leave the class for disturbing everyone.
Since then I believe in DIVINE INTERVENTION.
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1. Dhoni resigned from captaincy
2. Dhoni appointed Jadeja as Captain
3. Dhoni captained in the field to show examples to jadeja
4. Dhoni thought Jadeja should resign and submit his resignation to Dhoni
5. Dhoni accepted jadeja's resignation
6.Dhoni appointed Dhoni as new Captain
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Why do CAs love holidays?
Less traffic on their way to work!
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Special shout out to articles, paidups and accountant who worked tirelessly in this hopeless portal. Researched about each error and it's resolution.
This year would have been impossible without them, like every year.
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Dear All state govt,
While drafting the covid restrictions please consider CAs separately.
1. Allow us to work till 4am
2. Allow us to operate at 200% capacity.
We have to save the nation by filing tax audit on time till 15th January.
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StartUps planning to start Private limited company should start 2 months before schedule operations. Keeping 20 days for company registration and 40 days for GST registration.
StartUps planning to start LLP should drop their business idea.
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My best friend has gone to Meghalaya in a trip where 12 unknown individual people were slotted into a group for 6 days.
After reaching there he found that there are 10 girls & 2 boy in his group, since then he is not picking up calls despite being online.
Should I be worried?
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The people who left science and chose commerce because they found Calculus complicated, are laughing at themselves while reconciling ITC for annual return.
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I remember as a CA final student, it was impossible for me to study after coming home on exam day. The next whole day I would complete difficult chapters slowly and couldn't complete more than 40%. On exam day from 5 am to 2 pm would be used to slog and complete remaining 60%.
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Twitter is full of panic attacks, But you won't won't see a single CA panicking.
Few random websites not working doesn't scare us anymore.
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If Rohit Sharma gave CA finals he would have failed for 8 attempts straight and then secured AIR 1 in his ninth attempt.
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They have kept CFA at No. 6 for toughest exam in the world 😂😂 & no talk about CA!
As someone who has given both, I would grade CFA 5/10 for difficulty, and CA 9/10!
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BJP is fulfilling the greatest election promise ever made!
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I will Paytm 100 to everyone who likes this tweet if sec 16(2) (aa) is scrapped!
#Budget2022
#Budget
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Relatives remember CAs only at two times: at time of results and at the time of ITR filing!
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Somebody wrote here that all the good CAs are busy and not asking for extension on Twitter.
True bro, they are not on twitter. They are circulating screenshots of our tweets on WhatsApp.
But all of us are united for
#pendown
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Three people will always be unconditionally happy at your financial prosperity, no matter what!
1. Your Parents
2. Your Spouse
3. Your CA!
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I don't like this attitude from CAs of asking extensions for income tax. They were easily given the working portal one and a half months back. If they worked properly for 18hours a day, 8 days a week, they would have been enjoying new years party and not asking for extension.
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Whats common between Infosys and Iron Man?
Both closed a running portal.
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Removed prefix. Removed anything related to Profession from Bio!
Now I can Shitpost? Expert advice needed!
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Can you people suggest names for a baby boy starting with 'Dh'?
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CA firm ka revenue badhe ya na badhe likin, 31st March ke sundry debtors haar saal badhte Hai!
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If I ever did any online classes, I would play at 1.25x and complete a 3 hour class in 8 hours.
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Akshay kumar is like the girlfriend who takes gifts worth lacs of rupees from her boyfriend. And then dumps him when her parents get to know about their relationship.
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Imran khan went to Russia at this time because for once he wanted to be in a country that wins the war.
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Why am I not seeing any tweets from bollywood Or liberal influencers regarding
#KashmirFiles
!
Now are we living in a time where they will speak about a film only if it's congruent to our political ideology?
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Almost all of my school friends who were pursuing CA have qualified.
What I have realised is if you keep hanging there you will somehow clear. Maybe a 3 years late, but if you keep trying you can surely qualify.
Nobody will ask you how many years you took once you have the tag
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Nothing. Just a CA working on Income Tax portal, GSTN, MCA portal during this pandemic year!
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The CA who end up with most number of successful ITR filed this year should be nominated for Padma Shri!
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My father is KhartarGacch jain, my mother is tera panth jain, Dadi is Sthanakvasi jain, nani is 22 panth jain, my bhabhi is Digambar Jain, my wife is Agarwal. We are the most cosmopolitan and most secular jain family in the planet. Yes, we exist.
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All the practicing CAs I know, once in a while say that they want to quit practice and start a business.
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All the extensions I have asked were for clients, for failed portals, for covid reasons.
This is the first time I am asking extension for myself. I have overworked too much for too long. I need mental peace for few days.
#EXTENDGSTR9
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Wifes/GFs of CAs are so innocent, cooperative, and helpful.
They helped us complete the entire Tax Audit on time by not talking to us the whole valentines week.
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Quite clear that India has voted for free money.
NDA's first move should be to bring in some law to stop unrealistic and counterproductive freebies like 1 Lac annually!
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My suggestion to New CAs thinking to start Practice:
1. Don't be choosy, take all kind of works. Helps in building network.
2. Don't be shy in asking people you know for work.
3. Don't get into Practice!
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These babus who don't work after 5pm, don't work for more than 5 days a week, wanted us to work on holidays season for 4 different compliance due dates.
#Extend_Due_Date_Immediately
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When I was a kid, songs(dot)pk was our spotify and torrents our Netflix.
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CAs who will be staying late to file ITR for clients who gave data today deserve R̵e̵s̵p̵e̵c̵t̵ extra fees!
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Lincoln: If I had 6 hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend 4 hours sharpening the axe.
CBDT: If we had 10 days to issue an extension, we'd spend 9 days watching the CAs struggle!
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CAs who are working on weekends to file ITR for clients who gave data at the last moment deserve R̵e̵s̵p̵e̵c̵t̵ extra fees!
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Is anyone, who cleared CA final today, even thinking about starting practice?
It's been 5 years but none of my friends/acquiantances are into Practice. All are either doing job Or very few Dad's business.
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Great news coming in. We have a BIG account supporting us in
#PenDown
movement!
Infosys with it's glitches would be playing from the side of the CAs.
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Earlier 15th August was merely a National Holiday for regular people. Now it's a festival, a celebration!
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Marwadi businessmen dads get happy when their son loses their job.
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Gorgeous Gorgeous boys and girls enroll for CA and then aren't gorgeous gorgeous anymore.
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The most amazing thing I noticed today was people coming out and being unapologetic about their religion!
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I am not serving the clients so that I can bill them and make money.
I am serving them so they give me my three year old dues.
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Whatever chance we had for income tax extension dies with Kunal Kamra's tweet!
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Asking for income tax extension on Twitter is such a TDS task!
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Finally the looongest Tax season in Indian History is ending. The sigh of relief is unimaginable.
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Two bajajs are bothering the CAs the most: one is bajaj finance.
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Wrote this last year, the story is similar this year😭😭😭😭
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Why is everyone shocked to know that I am married?
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Our office accountant was late, I asked him the reason.
He said his train was delayed as HS students were protesting because they were failed in English.
Protest has become a joke in this country. And protest disrupting regular life a normality.
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When I told Income Tax Dept to learn from the MCA, I didn't mean sluggishness of the portal. I meant swiftness of the extension!
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