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Chaplain!🕴🏽 Profile
Chaplain!🕴🏽

@Maundu_1

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2,521
Following
2,055
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Statuses
14,188

Welcome to my world of Delusions ||Low profile astute🤓 ||LA Clippers fan🏀|| @ChelseaFC 💙

Doesn’t matter📍
Joined October 2023
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
Mkinipeleka hivi majamaa nikama 5M impressions nikama nitangoja mpaka yess arudi!😭
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
@mbiti_mwondi She promised to pursue further education after we met
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Nairobi shawties took the “mficha uchi hazai” msemo very seriously,skuizi kila dem huku tao ni crop top na kamini!
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Na nyinyi watu hushika madem wenu wakicheat alafu mnaanza kuwauliza “wewe unajua venye nimekutoa mbali?” kwani mnakuanga mmepatania nchi gani?
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
2 months
Ndio kumaliza kusoma bibilia na nimeona kumbe Judas alikuwa shoga buana.Mbona ukiss mwanaume mwenzako juu umepewa 30 bob?
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
Pale highschool ulikuwa ukimiss kuenda funkie ni either wewe ni sura mbaya ama hujuani na watu ya deepstate😂
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
27 days
Ni Mimi tu hukuwa na shida ya kutofautisha vitu Kama tshirt na shirt,moyo na roho,asubuhi na mchana ama pia nyinyi mko katika hio Hali tatanishi?😂
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Unaona mahagga kwa streets,unaharakisha unaovertake mdem ndio uone sura lakini ukishampita uturn kuangalia,pure dissapointment😂💔
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Wenzako wakivuruta ma foreign wewe unavuruta dunhill Ndio tuone wewe ni rich kid,gatheee utakufaaa!!!
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
20 days
Na Leo mkipanda miti msisahau kubeba kacounty angalau mnyunyuzie juu😂
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Huku kwa ploti mzazi anaku approach anakuambia uache kuvuta bangi hatharani juu utaharibu kijana wake.Laiti angelijua kijana yake ndio peddi!!🤧
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
29 days
After Chelsea FC💙,fear those niggas from Mombasa,wote watakugongea buana!
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
28 days
Hakuna kitu mbaya Kama kukuwa na rangi ya thao lakini mfuko imejaa coins🤧
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Btw ladies asking a dude “ulitoa wapi number yangu” and blocking them after amekupea some uncomfy answer feels right but is not🥲chieth!!
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Unashangaa mbona unateseka sana hapa nje,kumbe ukizaliwa haukukam na sahani yako!!
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Manzi yako akianza kuongelelea mambo ya kupanga fantasy league we jua kuna mtu anakugongea!!🥲
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
Wazazi husema ati hizo vitu unafanya pia sisi tulifanya wakidhani you will stop.Mzae anataka kusema pia yeye alikuwa anasimp😭
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Wewe post tu ukiwa club lakini ukishikwa jua Mimi sina za kukutoa ndani bana!
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Na muache kutuambia GM asubuhi,wengine wetu tunadhani mnamaanisha General Meakins🥹
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Pale Highschool mkikaribia time ya exam,C.U ilikuwa na mafans sana.Unaenda D.H adi selector hayuko🤣
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Lakini kusema ukweli Mimi sijaielewa umuhimu wa kupiga nguo passi bana!
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Seating on the passenger seat while a lady is driving lowkey makes one feel less of a man ngl!🥲
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
29 days
Ukishika manzi yako kwa noma aanze kukuambia ati “babe I can explain” just know she’s guilty of what you’ve found her doin
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
27 days
Hio jam ya apo Muthaiga hufunza mbogi ya 9-5 patience.Pale Kama umechelewa inabidi umeshuka ukimbie ama utapatana na barua kwa meza!
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
19 days
Madem wamechanganywa sana na hizi tweets za football buana!!relaxini ladies,wacha ikifika mambo ya cosmetics na kuweka baby hair tutawaita mchangie😭
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
2 months
Kuna mtu atasema napenda wamama lakini bro,umeona vnye hawa SDA mums hukuwa na some big nyuash bana?
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
25 days
Apart from when you post yourself on your birthday,when is the other time you receive fake love?
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
21 days
Mlisema mtu akipendwa vizuri ata sura Huwa inanyooka ama juu kuna pimples mbili tatu zinanisumbua na nataka ziishe!😂
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Wazee hamkunichanua huku kwa ndoa Unaweza kuwa umekosewa lakini bado ni wewe utaomba msamaha!😭
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
15 days
Niko hapa kwa jirani nimeinama najifanya natafuta coin yangu imeanguka chini ya sofa juu wameniletea food kwa meza😂💔
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Mtu huweka sura inakaa aje ukitaka usikutwe na hawa wasee hupigana picha apa tao kila siku?
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
27 days
Hio msemo ya tenda wema nenda zako mlikuwa serious iliisha ladha,juu niko hapa local nimenunulia shawtty jug sahi napewa tako🤭
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Hawa watu hupop out of nowhere with your tbt picture wanakupost nayo siku ya birthday hujiona wakona some high level of getting info!🤣
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
30 days
Kwani y’all mko adole buana,the rate at which your shoulders are broad kwa matatu I think I’ll have to buy me a vitz kama starter pack
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
28 days
The only badge Naona nikiweka ni ile ya primary yenye tulikuwa tunaipin kwa shati imeandikwa “Best in English”
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
26 days
Na kwa supermarket kwani hizo goods za the first row hukuwa na shida gani,coz kila mtu huchukua izo zenye ziko ndani instead😂
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
Mimi wacha nizidi kunyorosha skin na maji for now,ile siku ntapata pesa ndio ntanyorosha maisha😂
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
26 days
There’s nothing bitter like life putting you in your place just because you wasn’t able to make the right decisions and plan yourself better!!
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Huku Campo ukiona mtu ametoka kwa gate ya chuo bila dem we jua huyo msee ni either ako njaa ama amegongewa 🤣
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Wenye walikuwa na Ndevu pale highschool walikuwa wanajiskia madon sana!Ona sahi uliambiwa unyoe juu ya attachment😂
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
2 months
Na umewai panda ndege kweli ama ni hizo zako tu zenye unaitanga “maziwa” Ndio umepanda pekee
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
You never get to know the true nature of your partner until you start living together.
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
Yaani samovyu kukaa mbele kwa matatu pia mnaita connection?🤌🏾
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
15 days
Me narelax,narelax ooo🎶🎶 ~ hii ngoma ya ule baddie anaitwa Christina Shusho iko on repeat kwa medulla
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Pale highschool masaa ya entertainment kama haukuwa unajuana na any form four,hio movie ungeionea nje ya DH roho safi😂
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
12 days
Hizi Ndio zile weekends Kama haufanyi trading ama shughuli za kuattract DCI hautatesa…anyway sisi wakristo atleast budget ni soda tu😂
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
2 months
One thing you don’t know about us Chelsea is that we usually spare the small teams n nut on the big teams.Tunamalisa hako kateam. You can take this to the bank byzeway😉
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Na hizo pesa mnarushianga your brides kwa wedding,Huwa mnaokota ama mnaachianga sisi watu wa kukula mchele tuchukue?
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
26 days
Unashangaa mbona maswara zinakuandama kwa life kumbe ni wazazi wako walikulana kwa msitu🥲
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
Back in the prime days ulikuwa unawatch drunken master unatoka pale with an illusion that you can beat everyone including your father.
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Sahi watu wa 9-5 ukiwatafuta wanakupiga zile za “sahi mwezi iko kwa kona” and other short stories😂
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Prime time tukipatana long holiday tulikuwa tunatoka tao every Sunday photo shoot alafu kama hio siku uliamka na mguu mbaya unachaiwa tenje😂
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
Na ukishika simu yangu wewe ingia adi kwa emails Haina noma,but kitu isikudanganye uende kwa browser history,tutakosana sana!😤
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
Mtu hufika miaka ngapi hivi ndio anakuwa na loyaa wake nianze kujipanga mapema??
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
16 days
Why is it that most rich people just dress very casually alafu sisi wa kupenda attention Ndio tunapiga mabling na designer imbo za guchii🥲
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
2 months
Manze usikubali kulala njaa na huko Google wana offer cookies for free. It’s just you to accept them.
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
Yaani unakula bibi ya mtu alafu kinakuramba una stick apo ndani.I thought hii mchezo ilikuwa inahappen kwa madogi tu after zime mate!
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
20 days
Lakini wazee muelewe adi manguo hazishindangi Gikomba forever,kuna siku zitanunuliwa na zitatulia kwa mwili moja tu until zibeat. This post is not about clothes🥲
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
“Wewe lala tu kijana na wenzako wanasoma”hii statement ukiambiwa na mwalimu ilikuwa inafanya unajifikiria sana before urudi kulala tena😂
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
14 days
Nobody isolates more than the oldest son who knows damn well nobody is coming to save him!!
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Yoo! Hata ukuwe depressed to what level,don’t dare stay in the house kwanza alone!!Manze pale kujinyuria ni one time bana🥲
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
Real love was there zile enzi za “xaxa xweety”mkiwa na katululu,Skuizi tangu kila mtu apate iPhone ni kaswende tu mnasambaziana🥲
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
16 days
Yaani tl yangu mzima no one speaks about basketball jameni tuchapiane kiasi na Ndio season imeanza?
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
21 days
Yaaani sahi kuna mtu dem yake anachochwa na single girls venye anafaa akudanganye hatakuwa kutoka kesho adi Sunday buana in the name of “anaenda mazishi”😭
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
Hao walimu wenye walikuwa wanakuja kufunza masaa ya PE walikuwa wanajiongoza ungedhani wanapewa extra pennies😒
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
2 months
Ile quote flani husema “Go hard or go home” should be normalized by ladies masaa ya mechi pekee.Hio si advise ya kuambia mtu ati agrind bana😂🤌🏾
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
13 days
Skuizi ni ngumu kutofautisha mama na mtoto wake msichana, kwanza wakitembea pamoja.
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
13 days
Watu mlifanya agriculture najua mnakapitia sana hii mambo ya Senate impeachment,terms zinatumiwa huko hamuzipati
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
11 days
Dem akikupea business number instead of her personal number,hio humaanisha nini ama it’s still a win?
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
Lakini kama umelelewa Eastlando na hujui kushuka a moving matatu hio hukuwa msiba wa kujitakia🤌🏾
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
2 months
Relationships at times hukuwa noma sana,what do you mean you can tell my tone via a text I’ve sent you? Ladies jameni🥲
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
18 days
Atleast vipofu wanaambiwa tazama juu sisi wenye macho manze hatuambiwi na mtu!!
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
2 months
Nimekuwa talking stage na peng flani wa Muthaiga akaniuliza “demure” ni nini.Mimi na confidens yangu nikaambia yeye ni ule jamaa flani wa Ochungulo family na sahi sioni dp.I think mzae wake amemyanganya simu juu ya kutext usiku
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
In everything you do manze usikubali kudate msichana anainua t-shirt yake huku nyuma ati ndio watu waone amebeba,that’s some low shit🤌🏾😂
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
2 months
Lakini ladies what’s the need of putting those long nails and yk very well utaenda kusugua vyombo bana😂
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
There’s nothing that humbles you like kupigia dem yako alafu akuambie “Tebu kata simu kiasi kuna msee ananicall”🥲
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
22 days
Righathi amesema “whatever happens,whether he is in or out of the office after the session,the war MUST continue” mans ameamua if bad badder!!
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
Ni Mimi pekee huskia guilty nikiskip a bible verse ama Christian content ama nyinyi ni atheists niachane na nyinyi?🥲
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
23 days
Lakini there’s no good plantations zenye humea vizuri like those beside a cemetery,zinakuanga very productive! What could be the reason?
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
Funny how the only place ladies hushikilia simu kwa mkono ni up town tu,huku muthurwa huwa hawajaribu hio mchezo buana😂
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
Hao matajiri wakinunia akina Martel na Singelton wanadhaningi they will get drunk expensively ama.Hawajui Kama wao ni light weight lazima zishike😂
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
2 months
Aki Mwenyezi Mungu Kama ni blueband inachelewesha mkate yangu,ilete tu hivyo ntapaka Avocado🥺
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
Na nyinyi watu huinama alafu mnaexpose your butcracks mnakuanga mkifanya hii kitu intentionally ama n nguo haifiki kwa kiuno?
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
The moment you start building your house,get a baby or get fired from your job that’s when you will know no one has your back!!
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Lakini hamnanga aibu bana,event ni ya Johnny walker alafu mtu anapull up na mzinga ya County😂
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Tuko hapa COVO kahawa sukari,chali yako ame nunua quarter anaserereka mbaya sana Ndio avoid kuni is mzinga!😂
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
Pale kwa mchuano unaskia fiti pekee yako lakini ukitaka za diaper ndio unatukumbuka tukuchangie gathee?
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
17 days
Unashangaa mbona wewe hukula samaki oftenly ukidhani ujinga itaisha kwa kichwa,kumbe uli inherit bana😭
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
13 days
Na kwani huko majuu wanafunzanga watu nini hio juu kila mtu naona hutaka ku pursue further education mayolo!
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
15 days
Sasa venye tulisoma history pale highschool,ile mambo ya joka jok,joka omollo na joka owing inatusaidia aje sisi kama wajaluo?
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
22 days
Na hawa wasee husimama town with banners saying things like “Grace ntaacha kukuwa one minute man” do y’all do that intentionally ama shida hukuwa gani?
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
Unakuta mkale Hana keja na anaitwa kipchumba😂
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
26 days
You can’t have dark lips and call yourself a baddie!!That shii is so unattractive ☹️
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
23 days
Unaomba dem number kwa mat alafu anakuambia haiwezi kabisa.Kumbe shida si wewe,ni simu yake Ndio ya m-kopa na imezimwa😂💔
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
Kuna hawa majamaa unapatanga kwa njia na ka kikombe ati ni walemavu wanataka wachangiwe.Nani huleta hao wasee hapo coz hutawaiona akiletwa ama akichukuliwa na mtu.
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
1 month
Pale Primary “Pull up your socks” and “see me” was overused sana na hao watu walikuwa wanajiita walimu!
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
3 months
Leave alone women after periods,ile kutu hutwanga mtu akiwa highschool hukuwa noma sana!
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@Maundu_1
Chaplain!🕴🏽
18 days
Ati mlisema nikijiuma ulimi saa yenye naongea na mtu hio inamaanisha ati kuna mtu mahali ananiongelelea??Mnakuanga na ufala😂🚮
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