nYellow Peril
@MartyyImScaredd
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設営完了
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told this girl I grew up in Everett and she said “Everett is beautiful” like girl I ain’t NEVER heard someone say that in my fucking life
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dipping ivars fish n chips into puget sound
Went to Roatan to dip my mango in the ocean like Rihanna! And it’s so good!!! 😩
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so someone was on LSD n crashed into the lakeway fred meyer apparently
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no one:
guy from Enumclaw that got fucked to death by a horse:
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don’t know which dumb mfs need to see this but don’t throw ur cigarettes or roaches outta the car window when we’re experiencin one of the worst heatwaves the NW has ever seen LMAO
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THIS IS MY FUCKING HOUSE, RIP TO THAT TABLE
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Unimpressed. mfs outside horseshoe cafe do this 24/7
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wwu pre-Covid: get fucked dumb b*tch jus try n park here 😎
wwu now: PLEASE I FUCKING BEG U PLEASE FUCKING BUY A PARKING PASS U CAN HAVE MY FIRSTBORN N EAT ASS AT ZOE’S COFFEE PLEASE PARK HERE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
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EVERYONE at work was havin an awful day today but someone got this from their table n we all couldn’t help but laugh
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When ya girl jerkin ya meat but she gets too vigorous
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Doodle Bob or Travis Scott... who Nehoymenoy'd better?
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Meet North’s Freesian horse. We have 14 gorgeous Freesians on the ranch.
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I’m prayin so hard we get sent back to phase 1, mfs in the restaurant don’t know how to act at all n I’m so tired of entertainin ppl that have no regard for anyone else around them...
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mfs rlly say “spent my weekend on the island 😌” and they talkin bout whidbey 😭😭😭😭
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one thing I don’t miss bout parties is lookin like a goof chasin a ping pong ball
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imagine linguini from ratatouille gets his hair pulled durin sex n he jus starts makin crab risotto
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my roommate and the girl he’s with must’ve just finished watching a really cool movie because they’re clapping really loud :)
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a toxic relationship for Valentine’s Day again? u shouldn’t have, babe
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When you trynna smoke at a party and you see someone across the room spark up
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whenever I see isr*el propaganda
who got that one Venture Bros clip
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I just drove through WWU’s campus and asked these dudes if they went to WWU and they said yes i said oh ya then what’s 6-1 n then they flashed me their dicks but they weren’t actually dicks they were hydroflasks and not just hydroflasks there were juuls ducktaped to them
i just drove through Harvard’s campus and asked these dudes if they went to Harvard they said yes i said oh ya then what’s 68x2 they said 136 i said dang you rlly do go to Harvard
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fun tourist activities for people visiting silver lake:
- Hotbox a car in a neighborhood where the street lights don’t work
- Drive straight into the Lotus Lounge building because you lost control of your car while driving around the lake
- Burn down Emory’s
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Real footage of pre-marital sex... THIS is what liberal snowflakes don't want you to know about... STOP planned parenthood LISTEN to God
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are u givin black cherry white claws to other bitches yes or no
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switched shifts w/ my coworker so that i wouldn’t have to close tonight😌✌🏽but she got fired mid shift so here I am workin open 2 close LMAOOO
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giving some guy the wrong directions to get to pike place after he gives me $8 on a $80 tab👍🏽
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HAPPIEST day of my life, jus found out I got accepted into grad school!!!!!! Fuck n Suck University here I come!! Go Cum Rags🥰🥰🥰
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My Manager: “hey can you come in an hour early than you’re scheduled? We really need you it’s busy”
Me:
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imagine my surprise when my freshmen year roommates were jonas pocketpussy and teddy fleshlight
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bellingham bar and grill confessions: “yeah I used to hook up with them but then one night they took their sock off and wiped their pussy with it”
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Come celebrate 4/25 by joining us in the age-old Everett tradition of burning down Emory's on Silverlake
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there’s a rodent problem at our restaurant n u think the correct solution would b hire an exterminator? wrong. our boss bought a bunch of feral cats to try n kill them on some tom n jerry shit
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This girl said she was from Seattle, asked her bout where she really from n she said woodinville🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭
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Called out of work yesterday and said it was because my family got some bad news from the Doctor. In reality it happened to my family 21 years ago when my mom gave birth to me
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two years ago I was at a party where I smoked out these exchange students who had never smoked before, this is the aftermath
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this girl just paid me $300 to make out w her is this my life now
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seattle housing is havin an apartment complex called “vibe” with 200 sq ft units that cost 2k each
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no I am not havin kids I’m not goin thru the pain of peeling dozens of shrimp jus so I can eat maybe 4 or 5 of em
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had a 20 top reservation at work today, they were having a celebration of life for their relative who died from Covid
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takin a left in seattle is like killing someone’s firstborn
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Why do both of these burritos go to Western
She was fearless and crazier than him. She was his queen, and God help anyone who dared to disrespect his queen.
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in 8th grade i won cutest couple w my gf at the time n we broke up like 2 weeks later... one of the otha couples we were up against jus got engaged LMAOOOOO
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17 years ago I yelled “THAT’S MY BROTHER” as they called my brother’s name during his kindergarten graduation, today I did it again as they called his name during his college graduation ❤️
#MyProudAssIsCRYING
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This is literally everyone who would try cutting across the grassy knoll at CHS after a rainy day
They tried to ban it, but the Gloucestershire cheese roll took place over the weekend, and these were some of the best wipeouts! 😮😮😮
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can’t wait for next year’s met gala theme: kirkland signature
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The McXan coming to a McDonald's near you
McDonald's Just Rolled Out Burgers With Millennials' Favorite Ingredient
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me trynna flirt in class: “so what school do u go to aha”
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one time i gave my mama a waterfall (basically a grav bong but stronger) n she immediately almost fell over, then I walked her to her room n she slept for 12 hours. After she woke up she goes “Matty what the FUCK was that” LMAOOO
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met a white guy named lynch n said “unfortunate name for ur kind to have”
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as a man. YOU HAVE TO ACTIVELY ACKNOLWEDGE THAT U R APART OF THE PROBLEM! No amount of facesaving or raceforegiving excludes u from being apart of misogyny or the patriarchy. We all are subservient (willing or unwillingly) to problems that objectify women. Let us all reconsider
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there r an alarmin amount of whites in Bellingham that look like this
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tbh I think the appropriate time to tell me u have a boyfriend is before I nut in ur mouth but that’s jus me
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petition to change wwu vikings to the western washington wooks, willy the whippet will be our new mascot. ketamine must be consumed durin all sporting events
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would u walk downtown n get a salted caramel espresso milkshake w him
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Made $2.35 in tips today watch out ladies don't all come rushing to daddy at once
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Oh that’s your girl?
Then why she writin HAGS in my yearbook
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the average american consumes 8 crunchwrap supremes in their sleep every year
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what if we kissed at the bottom of the bigfoot tiddie slide
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my card got declined but the bartender didn’t notice so I hit cancel and my drinks were free
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imagine u turn into the moon n for the rest of ur life u gotta watch ur bf go around fuckin everyone
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I jus picked up the fattest check I’ve ever received in my life n I’m legit boutta start cryin
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I am 100% friends w this person on Facebook
A little image search leads
@NevSchulman
and
@TheRealKamie
to stumble upon a few SHOCKING details surrounding Mathan's
#Catfish
, and the news is CRAZIER than we thought! 😱
All new episodes begin TONIGHT at 8/7c on
@MTV
! 🤞
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can’t wait for the D-list movie “Everett’s 15” to come out
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talkin to this girl on tinder while she at work, she says she a nurse… girl they dyin out there stop replyin to me!!!
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so lemme get this straight,,, our neighbors r riskin it all havin a party durin a pandemic n they jus playin crazy frog n middle school dance music the whole time
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I ate yogos everyday of the WASL test in 4th grade and on the last day I threw up all over the floor during intermission
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People from high school keep getting married and I’m never invited to any of them I see y’all fakes
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