Marty Shaide
@MartyShaide
Followers
880
Following
1,666
Media
113
Statuses
12,454
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キャンペーン開催中
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@KanekoaTheGreat
@VRSVirginia
not sure there’s another college more disgusting than Harvard
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If you have a girl or boy in high school and they play sports but as a parent you don’t make them work out go to camps or open lifting But bitch about the coach because your kid is not on the field or the court give them up they need to be raised by somebody else because you suck
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Jonathan stop playing fortnite And answer your fucking phone
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So I call my son just to bullshit You know like usual anyway I can see he’s distracted so I ask him son are you on drugs and he just says no dad I’m on fortnight fuck Jonathan
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@YALiberty
@robsmithonline
Remember when they Confiscated all their weapons in a mandatory buyback about three years ago Good job New Zealand have fun in reeducation camps
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I know I’ve had a good night when I wake up in the spare bedroom with Mitchell’s Harry Potter wand
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@DailyCaller
Can we just all agree this is like our great uncle that has Alzheimer’s you just stopped listening after the first time he doesn’t make sense
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Jonathan or Mitchell shaide whoever the fuck it’s on Netflix quit fingerbanging my punisher I was on season one fourth episode and one of you fuckers or your butt buddies are messing with me
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@realDailyWire
Honey Nobody was going to ask you to do a commercial anyway but you go ahead and think that they were
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I’m praying my mother doesn’t get drunk and ruin Thanksgiving again
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A week ago we got a new puppy her name is Lucy but I decided to raise her gender neutral it doesn’t really notice Since all it wants is love and treats I think it will be a good dog until about age 3 then I really think it will be fucked up
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Hey Jonathan don’t spend all your time and money on strippers in Vegas you’re at a job fair please get a job love dad
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Happy birthday Mitchell I wish I could be there for you to take your first titty bar in Canada but I have to work in the oil field. Dad
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@SFloef
I agree with you It’s weird I only follow conservatives and a lot of them I know follow people from the left But it’s never been like this
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So I asked six boys to pick their gender and they told me to fuck off
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@barkway
@OccupyDemocrats
@TuckerCarlson
Yeah I’m sure Tucker was super scared getting hit by one of you soy boys 😂😂😂😂
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Happy birthday Jonathan Shaide 22 years old you go out and have a lap dance on me tonight son
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I just canceled my NFL package you can't stand for The national anthem go fuck yourself you're not getting one dime from me
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@LifeZette
Wow weird that our forefathers didn’t want our country controlled by three counties on the West Coast and three counties on the East Coast
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If anybody knows when heterosexual alpha male history month is let me know
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So Jonathan thank you for putting me on speaker phone and talking me through deleting that tweet I’m sorry I hope your life will be better I love you dad
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Maybe we should dynamite mount Rushmore and put pictures of Oprah Obama and Bill Clinton and then maybe everybody be fucking happy
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If one of your children does not like potatoes take them for a walk and get rid of them and try to have another one
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@JonathanShaide
I am so proud of you son for graduating and I’m looking forward for you living with us for the next eight years
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Hey Twitter try not to be triggered by this alpha male heterosexual
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There you go mom There’s your no trespassing sign I put up you’ll have no trick-or-treaters 😂😂😂😂😂
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My wife and I have decided that we’re reclaimed virgins I’m hoping it only last a few days She’s making me watch TLC
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Is it just me or are grizzly fans very unattractive It’s called the stairmaster
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@Jkylebass
In North Dakota you have to be a United States citizen to buy land maybe they should figure that out in the other 49 states
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This is a picture of my brother he could’ve danced in front of gay guys getting dollars but he didn’t he took the Road less traveled and I love him for it I love you Monte
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@barstoolsports
I had a woman football coach she said that “I’ve had balls smack my ass harder than you can hit”
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@barstoolsports
@KFCradio
That shit just ruined my day and I’ve been on a drilling rig all day that’s how Messed up that was Thanks barstool sports
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@ClintEastwoodLA
@realDonaldTrump
The outlaw Josie Wales is the best western ever made 1976 never gets old
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By the way Game of Thrones is on so nobody come over to my house or fucking call me talk to you tomorrow
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Shout out to the university of North Dakota football team. The summer is where champions are built.👊💪🫵
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Is it considered a threesome if you have sex with a pregnant woman?
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@SULLY10X
@TheGeneral_0
Santa gave me an AR style 22 long rifle high capacity magazine when I was five years old. Oh my things have changed.🤠
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I work in the oil field so when A political party Decides they want to destroy the industry I’m in I have a problem with it that’s all I have very good friends that are Democrats and it’s no disrespect it’s about putting food on my table
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I think for your birthday I’ll take you to happy endings massage parlor they don’t call me super dad for nothing
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The Marlboro man lived tell he was 90 fuck all you vapors I’m smoking real cigarettes
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@JackPosobiec
Let the guy have a birthday party No matter what you think you get a pass on your birthday
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Hey Greg Snow I heard you got a new ice house I was wondering if I could use it so your sister and I could have sex
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The Jets beat the Jaguars we should be playing this fucking game today
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I piss out more testosterone every day than 99% of Men on Twitter Have running through their body taking a break I’ll let the beta males take over
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@BreitbartNews
Peoples livelihoods are going down the toilet let’s make sure that .001% of the population is taking care of
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@SNFonNBC
In 1969 I was three Years old I walked in to the living room and I caught my mom masturbating to Joe Namath on the TV JETS Jets Jets Jets
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So growing up in Fairview Montana my superhero was always Iron Man My older brothers was Thor my younger brother was Incredible Hulk Fuck you Monte and Mike Shaide
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