Martin Phillips
@MartinJPJP
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Financial planner and writer. Writing about macro, Japan stocks, crypto and investing trends. I help people organise their financial life.
Yokohama
Joined February 2017
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Pinned Tweet
My thoughts on the start of the rate cut cycle and what it could mean for stocks, gold, silver and bitcoin:
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I’ve been in Japan for ‘I don’t know the names of the fish in English’ years.
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I’m old enough to remember when Europeans complained about the hordes of Japanese tourists with their massive cameras.
Full circle.
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Ah, the ancient Japanese art of letting in the tourists without letting in the tourists.
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How many Tokyo Towers of trouble are the guys in the sub in?
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Short story:
Japan was one of the safest and most harmonious countries in the world. People never really got mad about current affairs, even the most egregious political slush fund scandals.
But then, one day at the end of 2023, Takashimaya smashed some Christmas cakes…
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Your $225 per night Japanese ryokan:
Check in is at 3pm
Dinner is at 6pm sharp
Your futon will be laid out at 7pm
The bath closes at 11pm
Breakfast is at 7am and check out is at 10am
Have a nice relaxing stay and don’t forget to read our book of rules!
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Hilarious how hard they tried with “Cool Japan” and now no one is allowed to come here.
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Medical emergencies in Japan:
Uh, hi, we have a medical emergency.
“Sorry we only deal with emergencies on weekdays between the hours of 9am and 5pm.”
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25 yrs in Japan, 5 yrs in Japan, 6 months in Japan, Can't get into Japan.
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Blackthorne: Damn, your rahmen and sushi! So delicious, so cheap!
Mariko: The Anjin is paid in US dollars…
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Consulting for companies who want to do business in Japan:
You will find that things work differently here.
“Of course! We are in 12 different countries and are well used to adjusting our operation to fit local requirements.”
3 weeks later:
“They want us to do WHAT????”
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I love how every Japanese TV station has a show that is basically two hours of celebrities watching videos that were popular on Facebook eight years ago.
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Pretty much every country that has winter: Insulation, central heating, double glazing.
Japan: Hey we invented a table that keeps your legs warm!
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If you’re young and you moved to Japan for an adventure, I have bad news about the ‘having fun’ thing. If you moved here to work and make money for a while, I have even worse news about the yen…
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When you order clothes from America but accidentally give them your Japan size.
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I've lived in Japan for 24 years, and if you move here and don't leave, then one day you will have lived here for that long too.
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Tokyo people living their best life on the Tomei expressway for the next 5 days!👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
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My favorite Japan people watching thing is the gaijin in a restaurant trying to persuade the staff to swap one item in their set lunch for something different.
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A great article if you want to understand why there is no rice on the shelves in your local supermarket. It's due to the acreage reduction policy and not hungry tourists!
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I WAS GONNA MOVE TO JAPAN BUT THEY CLOSED THE BORDERS AND WON’T LET US IN THEY’RE CALLING IT SAKOKU 2.0 SO I FIGURED I’D GO TO SOUTH KOREA INSTEAD IT’S PRETTY MUCH THE SAME BUT WITH RED FOOD
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Japan be like “Electric cars? We’re still using cold water washing machines.”
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Everyone knows that Japan used the pandemic as an excuse to TURN OFF THE HAND DRYERS FOR GOOD!!!
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I see we’ve reached the “people going to the park and taking pictures of people in the park to criticize people in the park” phase of this thing.👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
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Guys, it turns out there might have been a bit of corruption involved in The Olympics.🫢
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Baby number two born today! Grandma zonked out from looking after baby number one all day. Mum recovering in the clinic after another truly heroic effort. And she left this at home for me!
Cheers!
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Stolen from FB - look at the photo with your eyes half closed and tell me what you see.
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Just saw a lady run for a seat on the train, shoulder charge a grey salaryman who was going for the same seat, and after she sat down victorious, she gave him a little bow…
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High grade Wagyu tastes good for the first bite, but after that it's just a mouthful of melting fat that makes you want to puke.
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Ok who's going to tell the world that if you actually send little kids out to the shops in any city in Japan, they will be run over by a silver Prius at the first pedestrian crossing they come to?
Old Enough! Netflix: How Japan built cities that kids can walk in.
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‘Then you push this button and we send all your data to China!’👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
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The Bank of Japan sticking with negative interest rates today.
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If Japan wants more babies they should just give everyone a point card for them.
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THIS IS WHAT JAPAN LOOKED LIKE BEFORE THE GAIJINS CAME!
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Today marks 26 years living in Japan. I’m kind of tired of eating rice!😂
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Not trying to be a dick here but if having a middle name is fucking up your whole financial life in Japan, you are not very good at admin.😉
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I don’t have time to write the book, so here’s your winning in Japan 3 step guide:
1. Slurp your noodles
2. Drink in the green car
3. Blow dry your balls at the onsen
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When you just had a huge party and now you have to ban parties.
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People who learned they don’t have to eat osechi and got some nice food in for new year:
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Japan cicada lovers, enter the chat. I do love how into cicadas this lady is.
Please tell me this is fake news. 2024 cannot handle it. 😭
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I know we sometimes poke fun at Japan, but it’s as good a place as any from which to observe the demise of western civilization.
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The sandwiches are fine. I’m more concerned about the donuts.
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Japan Free Wifi:
Scan this QR code
Create an account
Choose a password
Not that password
Seriously you can do better than that!
Ok now login to your email and click the link
Congratulations, your free wifi is valid for one hour!
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Spoke to a client who moved back to the UK from Japan 3 years ago. They are still going through the 5 year process to get his wife (Japanese) a visa.
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You now can visit Japan if you have three shots and have not killed any spiders!🎉
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Which of Japan’s four distinct seasons is this again?⛈☀️⛈☀️
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The haters said I couldn't do it. And they were right. Honestly great call from the haters.
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I got tired of blocking the bots so now I have over 2k followers. Good morning to my 30 real followers who actually interact. Let's crush this wet Tuesday morning!
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Seriously?
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A kid just called pretending to be my son, asking me to bring cookies immediately.
It was oreo-oreo sagi.
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Anyone interested in a meet-up? There's a bunch of people on here I interact with and have never met. Would be fun to have a few beers/cocktails and hang out. Is that a breach of protocol???
Thinking July 17th - Tokyo or Yokohama.
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Japan Finance Minister: ‘We had to stop the tourists eating all the rice.’
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All the meetings you want to avoid getting dragged into follow the same pattern: “We’re screwed and we don’t want to do the things that would alleviate the problem.”
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Selling North Face polar jackets to people who walk 11 mins to the station to get on a hot AF train is Jedi-level marketing.
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Just had a Burger King for the first time in years and it was awesome! How does Shake Shack even exist?
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Ok, someone’s going to have to explain to me how this works…
Japan to approve $110bn stimulus package to fight inflation
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To this day it still blows me away how sometimes Japanese TV programs just end without a word, or any indication that they are over, and some shitty drama just starts and you don’t know if it’s a commercial or WTF?
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Yen was 153 to the dollar when I woke up this morning.
Rekt.
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Japan so far ahead of the rest of the world that Xmas is already over.🎄
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So we really all worked online at home for 2 years and the leaders of the world have flown to Glasgow for a climate conference? Can’t make this stuff up.
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Heard someone describe a film as “shouty” and realised that is why I can’t watch 90% of JP TV.
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Japan should just embrace the weak yen and overtourism and go full Shogunworld.
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My wife is still bemused how, when deciding what to wear to go to the park, I use the old British trick of “going outside to see how warm it is”.
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Not to be confused with the show that is two hours of celebrities watching videos of traffic accidents, near-death experiences and people in China falling into holes in the ground.
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Remember when people used to point body temp readers that weren’t even accurate at your head to enter a building? Wild!
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That troll lady who 'got deported'. Once you realise that her M.O. is shitposting for outrage and engagement / trying to go viral, you have to admit she's pretty damn good at it...
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So, can we maybe, err, like possibly TURN THE HAND DRYERS BACK ON???
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I, for one, will never forget the great Japanese potato famine of 2022.
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Remembering today the sushi shop (in Osaka?) that put extra wasabi on all foreign customer’s sushi because a gaijin once asked for more wasabi.🍣🤣🤣🤣
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I’m at my annual health check and a dude has brought his own gown to wear and boy….
Photos obviously NG but here’s the closest I could find on the net.
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Enough about the balloon, cut to Ben Affleck enjoying the Grammys:
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When you and the boys partied all night in Kabukicho, then fell asleep on the Chuo Line rapid to Tokyo and woke up in Hachioji.
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Aussies getting chuhai by the barrell. What could go wrong?
Strong sales of Kirin's Hyoketsu Lemon in Australia has led to plans by the company to sell barrels of the "chūhai" alcoholic beverage to restaurants Down Under, the first market outside Japan to get such barrels.
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