Martha
@MarthaNMcC
Followers
196
Following
8K
Media
420
Statuses
5K
Just me. Nothing more, nothing less. And I don’t care about your opinions on comedy so feel free to keep them to yourself.
Koreatown, Los Angeles
Joined March 2010
Raising money for Billie “Ninja”’s autism service dog - can you help? Every share and donation makes a huge difference, we have 2 weeks to raise $2k!.#autismservicedog .#GoFundMe.
0
1
0
LA always has to show off like a half naked influencer - First ever hurricane? Not enough, make them SHAKE!. Fuck off….
0
0
0
Gotta love when you order groceries and the company has no problem with the shopper stealing from you! Thanks @instacart!! .#instacartscam #instacartsteals.
If you need groceries and want to be stolen from - try @instacart! They’ll send a junkie to the store to spend your money on themselves & make you run around like a jackass to get it back!.#instacartsteals.
2
0
2
RT @TheBillFund: Single mom stuck at home with special needs kid? No problem, @instacart will bring you milk with a side of theft! Want you….
0
1
0
Anyone else’s toddler get so excited during bathtime they turn in to a farting machine gun? Her sister and I just lock eyes and pray it’s all talk.
0
0
0
Me - Sees Big Bird on the floor, decides to sneak in & return him for snuggling. Silently opens door….Twin 1 - Wakes up screaming.Twin 2 - Wakes up laughing like a lunatic.Me - Puts Big Bird in crib 1 and backs out slowly with hands in the air.
0
0
0
I am going through @deadmeatjames content on YouTube way too fast, and I am now in love with @JamesAJanisse & his awesome lady @carebecc, I need people like this to keep me sane! Watch the vids, listen to the pod, for serious. Do it.
0
0
0
Something I never thought I’d say after smelling another human’s butt - Huh, it smells like strawberries and gasoline. Let’s change that diaper! #momlife #whatacombo.
0
0
0
I mean, how can anyone be THIS cute? She is officially walking, and she couldn’t be prouder of herself! #thatsmygirl
1
0
3
My 1 year old is cold blooded. Her repertoire includes closing doors in your face, running to you with arms open for a hug before turning around at the last minute & convincing you to let her put food in your mouth before eating it herself. I love it.
0
0
2
Do your kids look possessed when they move around on the baby monitor or is it just mine? . Neither of your asses is named Regan so please knock it off, it’s making mommy uncomfortable. .
0
0
0
Forgot my hugging blanket was in the wash and it ruined my nap. My one year old forgot her big bird she carries EVERYWHERE with her in the playroom and napped just fine. It may be fair to call me immature at this point. #ownyourshit.
0
0
0
Few things are as wonderful as getting a kiss from a toddler who just ate a bunch of strawberries ❤️ #mygirlsarethebest.
0
0
1
If you told me I could be friends with ANYONE it would be an easy call to choose @LeahRemini. I love her. I respect her. I strive to be more like her and take no shit.
1
0
1
How people get in airplanes with a pilot who isn’t 100% instrument rated is beyond me. Oh, you can fly a plane? How about in the dark? Or thick clouds? Bad weather? . Hard pass. I don’t even like flying with my dad. & Mac McClellan can fly a fucking plane. #randomrant.
0
0
1
My baby is obsessed with my Fanny pack. She won’t let me take it off. It is fucking ADORABLE. That is all.
1
0
0