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Buddawiggi 🆒 Profile
Buddawiggi 🆒

@MarkBuckawicki

Followers
11,156
Following
6,223
Media
1,230
Statuses
331,113

🟢 parody

New Hampshire, USA
Joined July 2012
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
2 years
You had me at insane’s a legal term
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
6 months
I’ve never looked directly at anything
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
3 years
Like we all died in 2019 and this is our LOST
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
7 months
Fuck daylight Marry savings Kill time
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
6 years
We’re gonna need a bigger coping mechanism
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
6 years
The guy who named it spelunking should get to name more things
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
2 years
Hey, if you’re not dead, nice job
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
6 months
I am Sears years old
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
10 years
Still searching for that haircut that really changes my life.
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
10 years
Driving to loud classical music makes me feel like a serial killer.
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
10 years
Judge you? I didn't even notice you.
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
2 years
Peek-a-boo taught you object permanence and musical chairs made you nervous about it
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
4 years
To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
6 months
Rough weekend of playing outside and doing whatever I want all the time
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
8 months
The audacity is literally all I have
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
5 years
If you are reading this you are my emergency contact
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
4 years
The odds of being alive are astronomically slim just go with it
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
3 years
Welcome to your 50s, it is no longer unusual to just drop dead
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
6 years
[cutting the sleeves off a denim jacket] this is so gonna be my year
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
7 years
Fortunately, I’m just tall enough to see out of these 2 holes in my face
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
7 months
Fool me twice fuck yeah, let’s go
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
4 years
All vitamins are chewable if you’re not a little bitch
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
8 months
This mandatory corporate training video could have been a bubble bath
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
6 years
Disappointing like the silver crayon
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
7 months
Talking is great, but if you wanna be misunderstood in the future, you gotta write
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
3 years
Hands are only the beginning, eventually jazz spreads everywhere
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
2 years
Milk is liquid beef, stop arguing
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
7 months
If soulmates were real, she would’ve figured out my series of riddles by now
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
10 years
Do the people that rob convenience stores even know about banks?
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
2 years
Just telling everybody I meet that I’m a Viking, nobody checks
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
8 years
Look at all the things in your immediate environment; that's World War III memorabilia
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
8 months
My résumé goes back to 1881, nobody checks
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
6 years
[person inventing cottage cheese] somebody’ll eat this
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
6 months
Day 3650 of living in a caloric deficit & I’m finally at my original birthweight of 9lbs
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
6 years
Welcome to your age, you post shit like this now
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
6 years
It’s called a wooden spoon because wand of ridiculous bacteria was already taken
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
3 years
Gen X definitely got the coolest name of the all the generations. I mean did the rest of yall even try
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
6 years
Click here to summon a demon
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
4 years
“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars” demonstrates an absolute misunderstanding of distance
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
10 years
I hear the Internet is 25 years old. Perhaps we should talk to it about moving out and finding a job.
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
2 years
That picture of the black hole is already like so 27,000 years ago
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
6 years
Sure war is hell but have you ever had a friendly neighbor
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
2 years
Bought a cow. Anyone saying the milk is free has never owned a cow
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
5 years
Shout out to everyone doing something they don’t want to do
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
5 years
What the fuck, and I can’t stress this enough, is your name again
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
2 years
Gary Oldman might be anyone, anywhere, at any time, he might be in the room with you right now
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
3 years
All you need is love unless you’re hungry, cold, or have other needs
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
3 years
My podcast is called coffee with a dog & it’s 15 minutes of silence
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
6 years
Mc Rib is short for microbial ringworm, enjoy
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
5 years
So you’re telling me this infection has a staff
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
2 years
motherfuckers tryna retire at my age I ain’t even picked a career
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
4 years
A bag of potatoes is a great gift
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
3 years
Killed a half a pumpkin pie for breakfast. I am ungovernable
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
4 years
The Pentagon? But have we consulted any of the other shapes
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
10 years
I am from the future and can tell you that we get MUCH better at making toast but everything else is about the same.
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
5 years
[scrolling through your own timeline] This person gets me
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
3 years
Roses are quantum violets are too nothing is real not even you
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
5 years
Avoid gatherings of > 10 people? I don’t even know 10 people
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
6 months
I’m asking right now, how tf is Mountain Dew extracted from the environment
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
6 months
Sent your mom a friend request
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
3 years
You’ve been assigned a cicada
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
3 years
bought $25 of Twitter today so errybody just chill the fuck out
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
4 years
The earth is moving, plz stop giving credit to the sun for rising
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
5 years
Get 25 flu shots, they don’t check
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
3 years
Oh I’m driving? Hope you like the fucking Beetlejuice soundtrack
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
3 years
The earth is suspended in the thinnest little bubble of atmosphere in an otherwise impossibly hostile universe but fuck yeah sure let’s go to work
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
5 years
Spent like a full minute thinking about how the difference between decapitation & beheading is intent
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
3 years
Accidentally found the clit wow
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
3 years
A tshirt cannon but for steamed lobsters
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
3 years
Stuck between I could die any minute and planning for retirement
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
5 years
If you’re in Burger King longer than 5 minutes, you’re the manager
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
5 months
No, you’re not getting it your honor
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
2 years
Blueberry pie is a breakfast food
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
6 years
I’ve decided to like people & I’m gonna make some friends. They’re going to love it
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
4 years
Wanna feel old look at yourself
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
4 years
Me: [momentarily comfortable] this feels nice, what’s the catch
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
4 years
Shout out to people, places,& things not requiring anything from me
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
6 years
Any guy wearing a pendant can get you into the dark web
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
4 years
Feeling cute, might get therapy
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
6 years
Not sure what a forensic meteorologist does but I’m adding it to my resume
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
3 years
It gets weirderer this year, bet
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
6 years
I can’t believe I’m like this either
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
5 years
If I feel lonely I email a car dealership
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
3 years
Before Twitter I had to dig little holes & shout these into the earth
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
4 years
Stop paying loans immediately and everyone hide in the woods
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
6 years
It fucking smells like a box of new pencils in here, delicious
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
4 years
Has anyone written 1985 yet
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
2 years
I’m so low maintenance we don’t have to meet or talk or whatever
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
4 years
Fuck 12 days of Christmas, stay tuned for my five days of pancakes
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
5 years
If the earth is flat, explain mountains
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
3 years
Before GPS, pizza delivery relied on a driver’s knowledge of the area & folding maps. No joke. Summer, ‘89, in a Ford Pinto, ‘78
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
5 years
Omg, good vanilla extract & good whisky cost about the same
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
3 years
We all read that tweet before it was deleted
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
3 years
A milkshake but it’s mashed potatoes
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
4 years
Gonna spend $600 on potatoes
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
4 years
This is what happens when you stop the world & melt with somebody
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
6 years
I’d like to give a shout out to the alphabet for making this possible
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
5 years
Wish we sneezed in color
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
5 years
Turns out baking’s just measuring correctly
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
4 years
I see you’re driving the speed limit, what drugs do you deal
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@MarkBuckawicki
Buddawiggi 🆒
4 years
The word banjo feels unfinished
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