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Mark Birtles Profile
Mark Birtles

@MarkBirtles

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676
Following
1,797
Media
129
Statuses
6,684

Crewe Alexandra is my life. I sometimes warble about them on @RailwaymenThe podcast. Views are 100% my own.

Alsager, England
Joined August 2020
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
Get your hand in your pockets and renew 🙂 We will come good again 👊
@crewealexfc
Crewe Alexandra
2 years
"𝐈 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐞." #CreweAlex supporter Mark talks about how important the Club is to him and why he will be renewing his Season Ticket for next season... 👇
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
3 months
@fesshole Hopefully he finds it and never comes back
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
@ellikerjames @fesshole Probably says more about you to be fair
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
@fesshole Have a posh wank
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
11 months
@_DHOTYA In the back of a transit van on a wet day - he’s told this whopper a million times…
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
10 months
@_DHOTYA Going to deep? What did you do? Talk about the meaning of life? The effects of childhood trauma? I need context
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
4 months
@maxbarwick_ How many you taking?
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
11 months
@fesshole He was a human being. He mattered. His thoughts and feelings mattered. He brought something to the world and now it’s gone. His family will grieve him. The fact you feel no remorse and guilt says much more about you than him. You sound a classy person 👌
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
@fesshole She needed to lose you more than 2 stone pal
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
10 months
@fesshole Unless she swapped them first
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
10 months
@fesshole You tweeted this last week
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
3 months
@fesshole You sure those letters are in the right order? 🤔
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
10 months
@fesshole The one with nothing to talk about?
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
@fesshole A glorious sense of irony that it was you who put the meat in
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
1 month
@fesshole A penis noir
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
10 months
@fesshole A true love story. Good to know real love still exists
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
@NFFC Life ban from every football ground in the world I think.
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
9 months
@fesshole Webbing between thumb and forefinger. Where in Norfolk are you from?
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
@JOEWILLS13 @crewealexfc The hot air coming from you would have defrosted it
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
9 months
@fesshole I have the same problem only mine dips in the water 😎
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
1 year
It’s been a long season rebuilding after an horrendous one. There haven’t been too many highs but tonight reminded me why I love football and why I love @crewealexfc . When you support a lower league club those moments are what it’s all about. What a brilliant night 👏👏👏👏👏
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
@fesshole I don’t believe any reputable tattooist would even do that
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
6 months
@fesshole And people say romance is dead 🙄
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
3 years
Fans forum: Charlie Kirk absolutely insisted that he would only leave if Crewe got a fee. He was with us from the age of six. If you booed him at Charlton or you do in the future give your heads a good wobble.
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
1 year
16 wins in 83 football matches. Say that again but slowly. 16 wins in 83 games. I think people have a right to be a little fed up.
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
@anon_opin Layer Cake is a top film
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
Been pointed out to me that we’ve been relegated before a team who were deducted 21 points
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
4 months
@JuerW92 @SkyFootball Too fucking right I was!
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
10 months
@fesshole And I bet Mark Morrison was playing on the radio…..
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
4 years
@officiallydale I’ve got to say, as a club you’d think you were playing Man Utd in an FA Cup game in front of a sell out crowd. Not us on ifollow! The effort that’s gone in, is absolutely fantastic 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
1 year
Oh my fucking word Gresty Road is fucking bouncing
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
10 months
@fesshole Cut them off!!!!! You’re actually adding to the problem 🤦‍♂️
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
11 months
@anon_opin Started losing mine at 16 and so shaved it all off. Never had hair since and I couldn’t give a fuck! Hardly anybody in my life nowadays has ever seen me with hair and those who have it is a distant memory for.
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
1 year
@officialbantams @officialcufc @OFFICEINTERIOR5 Attendance FC silenced again. Glorious 👌
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
4 years
@NUFC Have a good season Lads and lasses 👍
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
4 months
A reminder that 12 months ago Twitter went into meltdown when Rod MacDonald didn’t sign for Crewe. Then @Mickeyd_09 arrived. Trust the process. Sometimes not getting what you want ends up working out so much better 👍
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 months
@crewealexfc Fucking love this. Looking beyond the typical players to spot potential talent again. Great move 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
1 year
@fesshole ‘Accidentally’
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
9 months
The same eleven/twelve players are pulling us through an horrible spell of injuries. They are still giving everything. If they weren’t then I’d understand criticism but I’m never going to have a pop at players giving their all.
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
@crewealexfc @MadgerFootball Retire his number and rename a stand
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
1 year
Lee Bell has had a superb first summer transfer window. I don’t know about anybody else but he has blown my expectations out of the water. Him and his team have done brilliantly. Massive credit where it is due 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
@MadgerFootball @crewealexfc Worst Crewe side I’ve EVER watched and YOU can’t get in it
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
3 years
There are rumours of David Artell being abused via social media. If you follow me and you’re somebody who has done it, unfollow me today and please unfollow the club while you’re at it.
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
9 months
@fesshole She meant you were brave
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀. I’m not too proud to admit there was a time in my life where I relied on a foodbank. The ‘what if there hadn’t been one’ was and still is a scary prospect. If you can help then please please do ⚽️❤️
@Richard73486677
Richard Benson
2 years
This Friday before,Salford game RSS Foodbank Collection on behalf of St Paul's 630-730 near club shop Please pass it around so we get a good collection @crewealexfc @amomentinsport @TheDeanAshton @BobScottsBeard @MarkBirtles @TylerBirtles @jwar123 @CreweNub @CharlieCMorris
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
@crewealexfc Northampton celebrating a point at Gresty Road in August like it was a World Cup final winner. Good to know we are still a big day out and a cup final for the smaller clubs 👌👍
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
6 months
@fesshole I Hope you never need a prostate examination 😬
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
19 days
@Mickeyd_09 @crewealexfc Can forgive mistakes. And will. Can forgive players not having the best games. And will. Can’t and won’t ever forgive not being arsed. Not trying. Not running around. The club reunited the fans with the team last season. Don’t undo all that hard work. It matters.
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
@crewealexfc They don’t appear to have made much of a fucking difference so far. And some of the away followings given the circumstances have been superb this season
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
I’m so pleased for Lee Bell and I’m over the moon with the win. But let’s not pretend that wasn’t absolutely terrible. One of the worst games I’ve ever watched at Gresty Road. Whatever happens moving forward it can’t be playing like that
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
7 months
Proper buzzing with this one. An incredible effort by all involved to get this done. Let’s get seats filled on match days and back them. We are having a real go 👊
@crewealexfc
Crewe Alexandra
7 months
𝗘𝗱's 𝗧𝘂𝗿𝗻ed up 🤩 #CreweAlex
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
1 year
I wish I’d known this on Saturday afternoon. It would have made the day even better. Hope it was a painful one. Enjoy your time in Hell.
@DailyStar_Sport
Daily Star Sport
1 year
Football paedophile Barry Bennell dies in prison after abusing more than 20 boys
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
3 years
I knew I’d missed football, but hand on heart I didn’t realise how much until I walked back into @crewealexfc today. Thankfully my health has improved at just the right time. Roll on August!
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
1 year
When @crewealexfc play like they did second half I’d back us against any League Two side. Or even League One 🤪 Injuries permitting there is a lot to be excited about. For twenty five minutes in the second half they were unplayable. Long May it continue 👏👏
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
@crewealexfc I’d like to see a change in the Chairman role if we’re having a reshuffle. He’s overseen the breaking up of a great team, the worst season in history, a non interview process to recruit Alex and now this. He’s not fit to lace his predecessors boots. He’s all ego
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
9 months
@fesshole Predict funerals too?
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
@crewealexfc Thanks for everything @Ports100 You have been a top top signing. Get yourself on the @RailwaymenThe podcast so we can thank you properly
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
3 years
@crewealexfc @MornflakeCereal Great that it brings in revenue but it is, and always will be Gresty Road to me.
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
1 year
@crewealexfc You’re marketing a product @crewealexfc and for two seasons the product has been beyond shit The increasing costs faced by the club are also faced by the people wanting to support you. This really isn’t very user friendly is it? It’s clearly taking advantage of blind loyalty
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
7 months
Decent results all round tonight for The Alex 👍
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
@AirframeDTM @crewealexfc I won’t sleep tonight now after this scathing analysis. I’m sure the players and manager won’t either. They probably feel terrible taking those three points home with them. How awful we didn’t roll over with our legs in the air and let you win. We should be ashamed of ourselves
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
My vote of no confidence will go past the manager and nestle nicely in the chairman’s lap first. From knocking on the door of the League One playoffs he has overseen the steep decline since. I am afraid I don’t trust him one little bit.
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
11 months
No complaints from me. Stockport did a job on us tonight and found a way to win. We weren’t quite at it but anybody who finishes above Stockport this season will likely be going straight up. They’ve got five times our budget to be fair so should be better than us. On to Saturday
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
4 months
Luton ‘97 Southend 2012 Tonight is another to add to the great nights. To be going to Wembley with this very modest football club for the fifth time is actually pretty amazing.
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
1 year
@fesshole Did he put a condom on after sex too?
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
7 months
Well @BBCStokeSport I have to say, Praise and Grumble has been an absolute joy and delight this evening! It should be extended more often! 🤣
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
1 year
@mansfieldtownfc Pitch invading in September 🤣🤣 Look how it ends. Warra season for you boys 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
3 years
Happy New Year to you all from me. Thanks for being there. Thank you for all the Crewe Alex debates. Thank you for listening to @RailwaymenThe . Thank you for all your support when it’s been needed. Let’s hope for a healthy year for everybody, and that we will stay in League One🤞
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
I live and breathe Crewe Alex. And I wish the management team nothing but the best. But there is absolutely no way I’m attending any kind of ‘awards’ presentation after the game on the back of a season like this. Not a fucking chance.
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
6 months
@Mickeyd_09 @crewealexfc Also remember that one fan doesn’t represent the whole fanbase 👊
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
Crewe fans we are in for a very very long winter
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
@Official_STFC 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣you got to see your asterisk trophy though 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
6 months
Don’t underestimate that win. They’re a horrible horrible side to play against and plenty of Crewe sides of old would have wilted. Such a huge huge win that. Fourth with nine to go and as good as ten clear of eighth. That’ll d👍
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
4 years
@OfficialBWFC HMS piss the league appears to have a leak boys 🤣😎
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
@crewealexfc Good! Well done Alex. We aren’t a marketing tool. If you’ve got to think about wether you want to stay - your hearts not in it.
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
3 years
@owenlea22 @Crewealexfc_ Surely down to whoever DID throw it then to take the rap for it. Sitting back and letting a mate get three years is a bit of a c***ts trick to me?
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
1 year
@OfficialPVFC Tell us you’re obsessed without telling us your obsessed 👀🤣🤣
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
This is so much better than the calibre of player I was expecting to sign 👏👏👏👏👏👏
@crewealexfc
Crewe Alexandra
2 years
✍️ Crewe Alexandra have completed the signing of striker Elliott Nevitt for an undisclosed fee from Tranmere Rovers. #CreweAlex
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
1 year
@JackFreemanPVFC I’d heard about this but I hadn’t seen it. They’ve had a slap so I’m told by their own fans. Decent Crewe fans wouldn’t ever condone this. I know he was a massive character within the Vale family. I’m sorry on behalf of them you’ve had to see this. Sometimes words fail me.
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
4 years
Three attempts last year. Majority of the year spent in a hospital bed. Often social media and humour is a mask. It certainly was for me. Please check in on people who are all alone. Loneliness is a killer. Trust me. To those who did for me. Thank you.
@allontheboard
All On The Board
4 years
The world is a much better place with you in it. However lonely you feel, you are not alone. There are people and organisations that you can talk to and will listen to you. @allontheboard #WorldSuicidePreventionDay #SuicidePrevention #WSPD #ItsOkayToNotBeOkay
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
5 months
Eight points should do it with three to play. Teams playing each other. Great result that. And after that 3-2 very sweet! Fantastic hardworking performance 👏👏👏👏👏
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
8 months
Crewe Alex have got to be recognised as a contender now surely? That’s two home records gone in the last two away. 100% record in 2024. Two more goalscorers to add to the list. We might not do it - but we are right in the race
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
9 months
@joegilbert1605 @crewealexfc @Official_BRFC Yeah apologies from Crewe Alexandra for it being winter. We tried making it summer for one day but unfortunately nature declined. Sadly winter looks to be here for a while so we are incredibly sorry for your inconvenience of having not to travel up here for fuck all.
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
@crewealexfc season ticket ✅ Let’s go 👊 ⚽️ A signing might be nice to go with my renewal 👀
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
1 year
Genuine pleasure to be a part of this. A pleasure to be part of episode 150 It’s brilliant how it’s developed and gained popularity. We’ve got listeners everywhere 😎
@RailwaymenThe
The Railwaymen Podcast
1 year
150! Our next episode is in the can and ready to go for tomorrow. Unbelievably it is episode 150, thanks to you all for listening, supporting, engaging and getting involved. I may be biased, but I reckon this week's is up there with the best ones!
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
1 year
Limbs. I can barely move. My back and legs are no more 🤦‍♂️🤣
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
3 months
The manager is working on recruitment all day every day. It’s a complex process and we can only spend each pound once. Just because nobody has signed doesn’t mean we aren’t actively working on signings. Considering his record so far it’s disrespectful to be doubting him. Patience
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
I’d sooner have a pocket of fans who try to force change, than an entire fan base who do nothing even if the pocket don’t get what they desire. It’s about passion and caring for what you believe. If the fans don’t protect the club they love then who will?
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
7 months
Considering the summer signings and the season we are having the lack of faith in #crewealex is bizarre.
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
11 months
@FAspokesperson @crewealexfc @EFL You know what his response will be. And you know why. Let’s see if you have the backbone to investigate the referee and post one of your statements regarding him. Let’s see how much of an open book you are. I’ll look forward to your response……
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
3 years
@crewealexfc Sorry. I’m not really arsed about the ref or the flares. They are issues yeah, but the bigger issue was our total inability to defend like a professional football team. Embarrassingly bad defending today. And two of those players never broke sweat out there.
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
8 months
Unbelievable ❤️
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
11 months
@_DHOTYA That’s nothing. I saw two dead ones running out the back. They couldn’t fly because they’d had their wings amputated.
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
2 years
Loans, anybody not going to be around next season and anybody not committed to next season need taking out of the match day squad now. Don’t even allow travel. They aren’t a part of what’s next.
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@MarkBirtles
Mark Birtles
3 years
I really wasn’t ready for that. What a harrowing watch and incredibly emotional. There is no punishment fit for the crime and I’m so sorry that all of those boys went through what they did.
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