Alan Zamora
@MamonNalgon
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Following
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Media
510
Statuses
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24 🇲🇽 | 6’2 in the morning, 6’1 the rest of the day
Avondale, AZ
Joined September 2018
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My mom just liked my ex’s pic and i confronted her about it and she said “Terminó contigo, pero no conmigo” MY MOM IS CANCELED 💀💀😭
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Okay guys so my mom is embarrassed because i recorded her when she “didn’t look good” so heres my mom, AGAIN 😂😂
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Ya’ll look at this, inviting her and shit. Imma come home one day to see my ex sipping tea with my mom smh
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When your crush tweets “i’ll do anything for Disney+ 😩” and you see her post it an hour later on Snapchat
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My mom complaining to me and my brother because we made her gain weight from her pregnancies 😂 (she also just got her eyebrows microbladed so thats why they look like that 💀)
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Im taking new mom applications because this one doesn’t know how to act 😂 also follow me i follow back 🥺
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So my closet door knob locks on its own sometimes and i told my little brother not to close himself in there but he does anyways and hes stuck in there and now my moms freaking out 😂😂😭
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bitches swallow cum and wonder why they hear voices in their head
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Single me aint shit but relationship me will give you the world
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So i secretly made the “Uh Ha Ha” laugh the text tone for whenever i text my mom 😂
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My mom was crying because apparently i dont pay attention to her for being on twitter all day “con mis amigas” 😂
a mi ni me pelan 😂
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My girl expects me to believe she’s loyal to me when theres dudes out here looking this GOOD? Just have her home by 10pm please Nick
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me waiting for them to lie about something i already know the truth to
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This is what you clown ass dudes do after you mentally abuse a girl, cheat on her, dump her, then months later wanna shoot her window for going out with friends? What a sorry excuse for a man.
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I’ll get some matching ones, i aint cheeked up out here for no reason
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And my girl expects me to stay loyal when my homies out here looking this GOOD? Pfffffft
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I asked my mom how online school was going with my little brother and she sent me this 😂😂😭
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I unfollowed everyone who isnt my child, so if you’re reading this im your daddy
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Me roasting Anyone else my girl Vs Roasting her
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my mom took inspiration from her everyday life to make her Halloween costume 😭
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if you cheat on me you just playing yourself because my tia does brujería
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The worst person to loose is yourself.
At the end of a
5 year abusive Vs Today
relationship
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Not only can Christian have my girl, but he can have me as well no homo
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If you’re the one shooting your shot at me, dont make me keep the conversation alive. You’re the driver and im in the passenger seat, you decide where it goes and i’ll match your energy
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Can you imagine being this happy with someone? LMAOOOmeneitherOOO
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My little brother thinks every old picture of me and my other brother is him because we all look so much alike 😂
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We ruined my moms modeling career 😂😭 im also starting to think my mom is Selena Quintanilla’s long lost sister 🤔
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Things wont always be 50/50. There will be days where they can only bring 20, so you gotta bring the other 80 to complete it. You carry them through rough days and they’ll carry you
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If i got payed for everytime somebody wasted my time
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So my mom texts me this at 1 in the morning saying shes tired of being on a diet and i find her eating on the kitchen floor 😂
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I’ll kiss your ass cheeks goodnight instead
If the homies don’t kiss me on the forehead goodnight, I can’t sleep 😪
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i hope she goes to a sleep over and plays truth or dare and they dare her to go home
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Bro my mom was really making me cakes like this for my 13th birthday 😂😂😭
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If you’re toxic and they’re toxic then it cancels out because of PEMDAS. Go be with your favorite toxic person this holiday season
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how girls convince themselves they are right in every situation
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Its almost Fall and y’all STILL single? LMAOOOOOmetooOOOOOO
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The shit they teach my little brother, he just turned 7 today 😂
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To all my new followers, y’all boutta regret following me LMAOOO
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So i guess now is a good time to let ya’ll now, i ate ass on accident once
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Just blocked everyone who isn’t my girlfriend so if you’re reading this, i love you babe
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I blocked all the girls who aren’t pregnant, so if you see this you’re getting pregnant this year
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they pushed my grandma into the cake and she was ready to shank my cousin 😭
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Women be trying to “i bet i can beat you in video games” their way into some dick
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apparently being a twitter whore wasn’t making my mom proud so i became a construction worker instead
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So you’re telling me i actually have to get out of the house to find my soulmate? This shits a scam
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My mom just sent me this video of my little brother working out 😂😭
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Im saving cheating for marriage
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So this lady was parked really weird at the entrance of where i live and my friend stared at her as we were driving next to her and she starts following us, swerving lanes to catch up and honking at us and this is what she said when she pulled up next to us 😂
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My ex hates seeing me happy so she randomly hits me up with shit like this 😂😭
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Girls really try to “feel how cold my hands are” their way into some dick
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my crush’s boyfriend just died, boutta ask her if she needs a date to the funeral
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The shit my mom and little brother do to the cat while im asleep 😂😂😂
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I rarely post my dad but yes they’re still married and they were both bad before i came to fuck their lives up 😂
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when she licks your gooch without telling you and you don’t know how to feel but you lowkey like it
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my mom ordered cardboard cut outs of BTS for her birthday, i cant make this up 😂
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Did your boyfriend ask you to be his Valentine or do i have to?
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This is what happens when y’all pick skinny ass men
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If you guys dont keep this same energy for my selfies, im beating all your asses one by one
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Remember, if ya’ll dont keep the same energy for my selfies im beating your asses one by one
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“Bitch, stfu and send me a dick pic” THESE CAMGIRL BOTS ARE EVOLVING 😂😂😭
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