the real simp shady
@MR_ogan
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Me and my friends would’ve killed the Easter bunny with hammers I can tell you that much
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My hungry stoned ass could never meet the gingerbread man
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Raindrop, Droptop
2 Bucks and you're in to the Hot Spot
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Got vaccinated today and have had a boner for over four hours. Makes you wonder what they’re really putting in the vaccine! Just saying, it’s okay to do your own research
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@ULTRASLUT
I hate when I live in the city that has the most bars per capita and I get denied from one
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@savannahsstrait
If I had this problem I would simply fight for a higher minimum wage or unionize
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I’m going to k*ll myself in front of the first person I see in a squid games costume this Halloween
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I shoulda never smoked that shit now I’m on the bass pro pyramid
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Good Evening, "ppigg" was a 24 month
sociological study conducted by Harvard University. We are now complete with our study. Thank you for your time.
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Going on judge Judy and losing so she has to spank me in front of everyone
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Dudes in Fredonia be like "I know a spot" and take you here
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*when you're a fifth year and you start dating a freshman*
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Is this weird to say to 4 random people in trying to move in with?
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I got groomed by drake and all I got was this lousy t shirt
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Not sure if I’m drunk but I am certainly commenting on people’s Venmo’s payments
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@s4m31p4n
@highbrowholy
I find mfs like u really interesting bro. i
ain't gon lie that top is kinda like a
personal thing to me you get what i'm
saying. it's just like a personal vibe u
feel me. what's really crazy is you
wouldn't even wanted to know what’s in it if u ain't see them post it u get what i
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You either die black or live long enough to see yourself become Chinese
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@livvincolor
@she_devil4e
@_RobertSchultz
Bro you're studying psychology, you have to know somethings not right
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New rivelino just dropped
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I will be releasing 1 bad pic per half hour that my “friend” Ashley doesn’t respond to my texts
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If you're boyfriend smokes juul you're single to me. What's he gonna do, fight me from his medically induced coma?
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Decided I'm getting blackout drunk on my roof by noon. This is both a personal challenge and a cry for help
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When I bring up Ripstick kid or Buff Asian (Josh) and the person has never heard of them
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If anyone experiencing happiness rn, just know I fkn hate you
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Me at a bar with some girl:
“Yeah so her name is Samara but the handle is ppigg. Last week was shrimp frying rice. This week is “ran through”. The way she blends memes from week to week is actually so funny. Just trust me you have to follow her right now”
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my sociology of terrorism professor (an Orthodox Jewish dude) just sent the whole class this in an email and i've never been more confused
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I'm glad after 5 years at fredonia I can finally chug three gulps from a beer and only feel like I have to puke a little. Like 1/10 not bad
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When pretty girls dont want to bang bang with you so ya gotta put them down to feel better about yourself :/
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It's 12:15 on a Wednesday. I'm by myself at a $6.95 Chinese lunch buffet. Hotel California is playing.
8.6/10
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OK FINE!! I’ll treat myself to a double order of garlic knots for Christmas
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If I have to look at my naked body in the mirror one more time I swear to God imma start working out
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So today I had a date at 4:30pm(I was very excited),my date ended up changing it to 6pm. I washed my car, vacuumed it, got money, got a black ice so the car would smell good. For some reason she wouldn’t answer my calls or texts and at 6:18 she told me this. I cried my heart out.
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Gay little monke at the Apple Store vibes
Photos of Hitler that he hated & wanted destroyed that we still have - a thread
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I bought a pack of five avocados and they all got ripe on the same day so now I have 24 hours to eat five avocados
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Eating plastic for breakfast so I can understand what other animals go through
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My dick is 13 inches. That's true, according to one estimate
Amy Klobuchar says Bernie Sanders' health care bill would kick millions off current plans. That's true, according to one estimate
#DemDebate
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Landlord walked in my house for rent $ and I came out my room naked as the day I was born.
"I'm a nurse, I'm not afraid of u naked" -her
I have a reoccurring dream wher my landlord walks in my house for my late rent money and I answer naked 'this is why you don't just come in'
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When you mean to text 'haha' but accidentally type 'baha'
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Really bold of me to be clinically depressed for a decade
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Day 9 of quarantine and I haven't made a girl c*m in 26 years
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I'd like to apologize for this tweet. I've fired my PR manager and am looking into legal actions
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Me: 25, smoke cigs, consistently have done drugs for years
Also me: "I think I could box"
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Also, if you’re a trump supporter suck my dick and eat my ass from the backside. Unfollow me you racist, fascist piece of shit
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Slap the bag
but the bag is a ziplock tomato basil soup i brought on the Amtrak to NYC
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You thought covid was going to get me?? I severed three arteries clean through and only spent 7 days in the hospital cmon man
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