Claudia Lewis
@MBDscience
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Lead Practitioner | writer | chaotic trad | educational highwayman | likes/follows ≠ agreement | views mine
Joined September 2017
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You know you've nailed the seating plan when every single student is pissed off.
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Schools should have padded, soundproofed rooms for teachers to go and scream in after they teach year 9 bottom set last thing on a Friday
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Withdrawing my labour, knowing I won't get paid, on a day when I have zero lessons and 80 exam papers to mark for Tuesday, isn't an easy choice, but the alternative is that things continue like this and we keep losing qualified teachers and that's worse.
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Imagine having a system where the mentor teacher, who supervises and intensely trains their student teacher everyday for a year, is given absolutely nothing, while the university, which teaches them nothing besides how to fill out a lesson plan template, is given £9,250.
Imagine having a system where the mentor teacher, who supervises and intensely trains their student teacher everyday for a year, is given a measly $1,000 stipend, while the university, which teaches them nothing besides how to fill out a lesson plan template, is given $20,000.
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If I was going to make one small change to classrooms, I'd install blinds that close upwards. That way, I can block the bit of the light that gets in the kid's eyes, but still have the glorious sunshine streaming into the room, rather than sitting in the dark with the lights on.
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Ed Sec Zahawi: "teachers deserve a pay rise"
Chancellor Zahawi: "new phone, who dis?"
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I hate how so often the thing that makes the biggest impact on student behaviour is me phoning their parents. I hate phoning people.
I don't even phone my own parents.
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Fun fact: when I was training I forgot to do something (photocopying a spare sheet most likely) and I apologised to the class. My mentor chewed me out after the lesson saying that teachers should "never apologise" because it "undermines" us. I couldn't disagree more.
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Where has this idea that the NEU "banned" teachers from setting work during the first lockdown come from, because I distinctly remember running a CPD session with about an hour's notice so my department could be trained on how to use Google Classroom to set work over lockdown.
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Imagine if reshuffles happened in other sectors. Getting called into the Head's office "I know you've only been Head of English for eight months, but I'm moving you to music"
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People who think the summer holidays are too long need better hobbies.
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Disproportionately irritated that the Elizabeth line bar has the word "line", whereas every other line just has the name of the line. CONSISTENCY, PEOPLE!
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Why do job applications still demand a 2:1 or higher as "essential"? My 2:2 doesn't make me a worse chemistry teacher.
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Y10s are a bit bubbly this afternoon.
Finally get them settled, quiet and working hard.
Two foxes stroll out of the woods and start fornicating in the middle of the field outside the window.
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Since becoming a HoD, my opinion on the debate about whether to schedule emails or not has changed. I used to be an avid supporter of sending them whenever. Now, I don't think you should send them. At all. Ever. Do not email me.
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I strongly dislike the suggestion that children who've experienced traumatic or abusive events shouldn't face sanctions for misbehaviour because of their experience. It seems to imply that such children "can't help it", which is - frankly - offensive.
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Still some kid will ask if we're doing a practical
Footage of teachers next week trying to teach combined classes on the school field.
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Got congratulated today for "getting a handle on behaviour". My "handle" hasn't changed since last week - I just gave up logging everything.
Apologies to the other staff I've screwed over in the long run, but it's pure survival right now.
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Neighbour put their bins out last night. Today is not bin day. Every house in the street has now put their bin out.
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Live lessons are the biggest waste of everyone's time. There are other people with more experience and better equipment who've made great videos. Why do I have to sit at my computer with the cam off staring at a class with video and mics off? May as well talk to myself
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I don't really want to work in a profession where you damn near work yourself to the bone to get the very best for the kids in front of you, only to be told giving them consequences is tantamount to abuse, and if they don't like you it's your fault and you're sh*t at your job.
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I'm mostly unbothered by my flat being unheated - I can put on jumpers and socks and wear a blanket like a cloak - but it's nigh on impossible to dry laundry in any sensible time frame, and I'm running out of knickers.
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Teachers: workload is insane, and behaviour is deteriorating nationally
Also teachers: how dare you give me booklets or clear behaviour expectations
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The result is not improved behaviour choices from students, it's that in future I'll think twice before following the behaviour policy. 3/3
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"Don't ban phones, make lessons more exciting"
I've seen people checking their phones during high-intensity MCU scenes. If big budget movies can't beat the call of the notification, you think lil ol' me can?
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"Hi Matt,
You haven't provided evidence for why you chose [student] for Student of the Week. You've given a good, clear reason, but it does have to be evidenced.
I expect the slides to be updated by 3:30pm.
Regards,
[HoD]"
I think I'm working for The Willows Academy Trust.
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"Children would never be intentionally disrespectful or rude. They would never take pleasure in doing the wrong thing. They must have SEND or unmet needs."
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You know, I've not seen the study, but I'm going to hazard a guess it wasn't the breastfeeding that resulted in the higher marks.
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"I gOt a DeTenTiOn bEcAuSe oF yOu"
No, you got a detention because of you and the quicker you realise that, the fewer detentions you'll get.
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TEACHERS FINDING OTHER JOBS IS PART OF THE PROBLEM.
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I learned french the "conventional" way as a child. I wanted to compare this with Duolingo and all I can say is I'm finding myself begging for a verb table. I can't remember all of that. Don't make me discovery learn my way to conjugations.
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We need to teach kids how to write an email.
"whats on the test?" No salutation, no valediction. Not even any capital letters.
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Being HoD seems to involve getting a moment to breathe, and wondering what it is you're forgetting to do.
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I don't like to share good news until it's guaranteed certain (paperwork signed, etc) but I told my mum, who told my nan so now basically all of North London knows I've got a new job 😅
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A functional and effective behaviour policy will do more for staff wellbeing than any fancy support session.
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The coronation keeps getting described as a "once in a lifetime event", as if we're not going to have another in the next 15 years or so.
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"Let them go whenever, and make them pay back the time missed at break"
Okay, but have you considered that I, too, need to wee, and I can only go at break? They get to wee when they like, but then I don't even get to wee at the assigned time? P*ss off.
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I'd love it if we, as schools, could move away from tracking student progress in terms of exam results.
I got asked today "how do you know your students are making progress in science?" and I said "I ask them questions and they know more science" (owtte)
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Cards on the table, I'm a Teacher, I'm on 1.5m a month plus overtime, I left NEU in the summer.
This is an orchestrated coup by militant unions to bring down a democratically elected government who are perfect in every way.
For the record, I was awarded a 10,000% pay rise in May.
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I worked at a school where antisemitism was so bad, I walked out of a lesson to cry in a toilet. Not a single child was excluded. Instead they lost me. That's what happens when exclusions don't happen when they need to - the person/people on the receiving end, they leave instead.
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There're four full weeks left of term, but Christmas Day is in less than a month. That math ain't mathing.
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I think sometimes people forget that novice teachers exist and that stuff that's simple and obvious to those of us who are more experienced is actually super valuable to them.
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A group of sixth formers found two kittens abandoned in a field so this is what I'm doing instead of the timetable
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Not sure my HoD realises I'm actually leaving, as opposed to being a special envoy or a liaison officer or something. "If I have any problems next year, I can just email you" I mean, you can, but I probably won't respond. As of August 31, I will not work for you.
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Me: "If you choose to be disruptive during the practical, we will pack everything up and won't carry on"
Student: *chooses to be disruptive*
Me: "Pack everything up"
Students:
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I don't understand how compulsory maths to 18 would work with our current system. Would students only be able to pick 2 A-levels? Would it be an extra A-level? If it's not an A-level, is it a different qualification, if so what, if not why? Where are the teachers coming from?
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I can't say I felt particularly safe when I had to sit in a restorative conversation and listen to a child tell me I "deserved" what he'd said and done, knowing this conversation was the only consequence he'd get.
But what do I know.
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Using the matrix function on Word means you can keep the word and symbol equations centred under each other properly without worrying about messing it up if you change e.g. font size later.
(Also works for equations/formulae and units)
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Sometimes I want to shout "IT'S NORMAL TO FIND THINGS HARD, THAT'S NOT A REASON NOT TO TRY!" at the top of my lungs.
Some of my 10s are so reluctant to try things that aren't immediately easy and it's exhausting trying to convince them to try just a little bit of the tricky bits
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Genuinely a bit concerned that the holiday proper is now over, I'm still exhausted, my flat is still a mess, and this coming half term is eight, very long weeks.
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I would much rather have multiple learning walks in a year than have one full observation.
Lower stakes, you get used to people being in your room so it stops throwing you off, if things go tits up once it's fine because they'll have other LWs, feedback is regular.
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(You better believe I went though all my submission records and took screen shots of every single assignment and put them on the PowerPoint because if you want me to waste my time giving you evidence, you're gonna get evidence)
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We advertised a science teacher role for a September start. 75 applicants. Seventy. Five.
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I think we should assign careers to four year-olds and then only teach them the things they need for that career.
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I had one Sports Day in my entire time at secondary school because it rained every single year. Cancelling (or even rescheduling!) to fight for adequate pay so we can stop haemorrhaging teachers is a much better reason that "it's a bit wet".
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We need to get kids wearing watches again.
"I have a music lesson at 12:30, can you tell me when it's time" uhhh, no? I'm not your secretary.
And not smart watches. They can get in the bin.
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"CogSci takes the magic out of teaching".
There is no magic. I'm a teacher, not a flipping wizard.
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Never ever have this conversation with someone. Ever.
Either:
1) they're childfree by choice or
2) they want children but can't.
Either way, it's not your business.
Just don't talk to people about when they're planning to have kids.
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You should not have to be doing two sets of planning for the same lesson under the guise of "differentiation".
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I'm surprised this half term felt so long, given that last year apparently lasted 5 million weeks .
Last year, school strikes resulted in 25 million school days being lost cumulatively.
Children should not have to suffer a repeat of this disruption.
I’m announcing that we will introduce minimum service levels in schools so that pupils get the education they need and deserve.
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One of my year 11s *hated* me because I held him to account for not doing his homework, and sent him out when he threw things at his peers. Maybe he'd have worked harder if I'd just smiled sweetly and let him get away with being disrespectful to his peers and doing little work.
Is it just me or did you tend to work harder and enjoy a subject more if you liked the teacher? I hear this from kids so much it must be true?
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Cold call or MWB?
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I taught six lessons today. In each class between one and five children talked during silent tasks. Behaviour policy says this results in a detention. BP also says detention = phonecall home + conversation with student. 1/3
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I'm having a guy come check my windows, and hopefully getting some furniture delivered because I can't get either done another time, when I work 7:30-5 most weekdays.
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Fine, take the 30 minutes extra and give students and staff five minutes of transition time between periods. Might actually get 50 minutes of teaching out of a 50 minute lesson then
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Two summers ago, we had to call an ambulance for one of our y10 boys because he refused to remove his puffa jacket on the hottest day of the year and nearly gave himself heatstroke.
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My brother works hard.
We have the same A-levels, but he has a diploma in music whilst I have a BSc in chemistry with forensic science and toxicology, and a PGCE.
He's a supervisor in a pub.
He sent me a photo of his latest paycheck.
He made more money today than I did.
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There are somehow a lot fewer hours in the day when you're a HoD
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If you're a middle class kid who can't read and doesn't show up on time because you've had some hippy-ass, non-education, you'll probably be fine.
If you're a working class kid who can't read and doesn't show up on time, good luck. You'll need it.
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I would like a washing machine setting somewhere between the 30-minute 30°C wash and the 3h30 40°C wash.
#MundaneTweet
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Honestly, instead of reopening grammars, I'd love to see greater investment in AP.
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Things HoDding had taught me about myself:
• I don't need to eat as often as I thought I did
• A bladder can hold on a long time after it says it's full
• I have a lot more natural patience with children than I do with adults
• I'm not as confident as I thought
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Last year, an ECT colleague came to me and asked how they could improve behaviour in their lessons. They said whenever they did marketplace activities, students would use it as an excuse to talk instead of doing the work.
I advised them to *stop doing marketplace activities*.
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WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO USE BLUE TITS AS AN EXAMPLE IN THE Y8 BOOKLET????
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Biology teachers looking at how much they have left to cover before May.
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The problem is, if you remove the legal requirement to isolate and ask people to "exercise personal responsibility", people will have to go to work. There is no space for personal responsibility on a zero hours contract.
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I couldn't publish an article about foreign policy or economics and yet it's acceptable for every Tom, Dick and Harry to publish about education, simply on the basis that they once went to school.
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I think one of the hardest things for new teachers to learn is how to notice what's happening in their classroom. It's also the hardest thing I've found to give concrete actions on how to actually do it.
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I've just seen someone get a delivery of a "verbal feedback given" stamp.
We are not past this.
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I have had a parent file a complaint against me for "assaulting their child" after I grabbed their bag to stop them getting their fingers caught in hinge of the closing fire door. There is no way I am sticking a cotton bud up a kid's nose so far it makes their eyes water.
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"£50,000 isn't a lot of money, especially for hard-working people"
£50,000 is almost 140% of my salary last year. Guess I just didn't work hard enough.
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*NEW (shortish) POST* Because what else is there to do at 5am that write about pace?
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Several times in my career, I've heard "they behave for me" and then when I've gone to see the techniques used so I can apply them in my own lessons, it turns out, no, they don't behave for you
If you say 'they behave for me' without any advice on routines or concrete strategies you use, then you are not helping anyone.
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People who insist on teaching using PPT, but then fall into all the PPT traps - busy slides, dense text, reading off the slides - get my goat in a way that just using PPT doesn't.
If you're going to insist on using it*, at least use it well.
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I think my issue with fidget toys is they don't actually solve anything. The evidence they actually work is super shaky and they allow a box to be ticked - "how have you supported this 'SEN child'?" "Oh, I gave them a fidget toy." - rather than providing interventions that work
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