Lottie-pop 🍭
@Lottie_Poppie
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29,371
Following
2,996
Media
3,961
Statuses
58,385
Tattooed mum & coffee enthusiast. Living life from one snack to the next.
Traverse Town
Joined January 2012
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Pinned Tweet
I’m no social butterfly but if you want a disassociating moth hmu
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My ten year plan is basically to survive and hope for the best
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A vacation with kids isn’t really a vacation. It’s just parenting in a different location where you don’t know where anything is
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I hate when I eat the last m&m in the bag without realising. Like, I needed to mentally prepare myself for that moment
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Imagine how great life would be with no anxiety though
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I don’t rise and shine, I caffeinate and hope for the best
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Someone said they liked my lipgloss today and I didn’t have the heart to tell them it was butter from all the toast I just ate
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Over thinking takes up around 85% of my day. The rest is eating snacks
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Just gonna go ahead and change from my daytime pyjamas to my nighttime pyjamas like the party girl that I am
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Shout out to the two molecules of serotonin dragging me through life
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Do we really need morning every day? It seems excessive
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My child said she wanted to be like me so she put my glasses on top of her head and walked around saying “where are my glasses?!” I feel attacked
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Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things
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I’m either too much or not enough or a secret third thing where I’m both at once
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How to make iced coffee:
1. Make hot coffee
2. Be a parent
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Sorry I’m late, my child wanted it to be Friday, not Wednesday, and I can’t bend space and time
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I let my toddler play with my phone today so now everything is in Spanish and I have 273 pictures of her left hand
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My toddler just told me I’m the best mummy ever because I “bought the good cheese for once” so I’ll be riding this high until her next tantrum
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My toxic trait is buying more books to add to the already huge pile of books I haven’t had time to read yet
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My toddler ran past me, farted and shouted “for you mummy!” so happy birthday to me I guess
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The laundry pile has got so big that me and my daughter have decided to name it. I opted for ‘the pile of doom’, my daughter prefers Gary
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They say ‘do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life’ but I don’t think watching Netflix and eating nutella straight out the jar will pay very much
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My toddler wanted me to play outside with her. Such precious memories were made as she threw sand at me then ignored me for an hour
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Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home
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First wash with my new machine and it’s already judging me
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My daughter gave me a tiny leaf as a present three days ago and now she wants to know where it is. Pray for me
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Saturday night injuries used to be from partying too hard. Now they’re just from sleeping at a funny angle
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I get it Jesus. I’d fake my own death for a little break too
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You’ll know the sun’s been out when I have more freckles than face
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I do some of my best sleeping when my alarm has gone off and I should be getting up
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Everyone focuses on Mondays but personally I don’t think there’s enough hate for Tuesdays
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I have dinosaurs on my socks today so I’m feeling pretty unstoppable
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My daughter has a new unicorn toy. She decided it’s not cuddly enough so has named it Stiffy and is here telling me how she wants to introduce her Stiffy to all her friends so now I am dead
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Me: can I work from home today?
Manager: ok why?
Me: I don’t like any of you
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I’ve had a rough morning and my toddler caught me crying so she made me breakfast and I just think she’s the most pure little human I’ve ever known
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As I took the garlic bread out of the oven my 4 year old whispered “it’s beautiful” and that’s how I know I’m raising her right
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I don’t have anything interesting to say so here’s my face. Happy Friday! 🌈
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I’m just not mentally prepared for my entire existence
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Hello and welcome to my midlife crisis. I guess I have pink hair now
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I have no milkshake to bring the boys to the yard, but I do have a mum bod and a wide range of snacks
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I just need someone who will remind me about my pile of unread books but still support me when I buy new ones anyway
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Happy New Year! I have no resolutions. I plan to just drink coffee and wing it through 2022 💜
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When deciding how much coffee to drink I usually find ‘a shit ton’ is a good measurement to go by
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Maybe I don’t want to seize the day. Maybe I want to seize the nap instead
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I’ve hit 5k followers! Thank you to all you lovely people! I’ve made some amazing friends on here and I couldn’t be more grateful!
To celebrate, show me your smiles! ❤️
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Does anyone frolic anymore? I feel like we should all go frolic
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My daughter has been watching a lot of Peppa Pig lately and has started calling me Mummy Pig. I’m not fond of this development
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Today is brought to you by a sundress, freckles, eyeliner and a lack of motivation to work
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I’m a lovely person unless I’m cold or hungry or slightly uncomfortable in any way
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My toddler just started cheering and I joined in. I’ve no idea what we’re cheering for but I’m liking this positivity
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“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”…but like I think I’m strong enough now so can life just be chill please
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This is 30. Shouldn’t I feel like an adult now?!
Share a smile or a tweet about the fun of adulthood to brighten up my birthday 🎂
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After slaving away making a full Christmas dinner, my 3yo looked lovingly at me and smiled. Then five simple words left her mouth… “can I have cereal instead?”
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If a girl says she’s doesn’t want anything from the store and you don’t bring her snacks anyway, you sir have failed
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My toddler heard someone say ‘sweaty balls’ three days ago and has been repeating it ever since, yet she still can’t remember what she’s done at pre-school all day when I ask
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I’m an introvert that thrives on alone time but also gets lonely real quick. What kind of bullshit is this?
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Me: I’m going to eat healthy from now on
Pizza: *exists*
Me: never mind
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Getting up early and still being late is my signature move
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The bath is too wet
- reason 101 my toddler is tantruming
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Someone once told me “you can’t make someone love you by giving them more of what they already don’t appreciate” and that’s a tough lesson to take
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This is how my toddler left her peppa pig playhouse. Something happened here..
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I worked out and drank water today. Is this what health feels like?
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I’m ‘will need to have a nap to make it to midnight’ years old
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I got asked for ID when buying wine today so I’d like to introduce you to my new best friend, Bob from the liquor store
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I once took a day off work just so I could nap and I have absolutely no regrets about this
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My kid was away for the night so I drank chocolate milk and fell asleep by 8:30 if you’re looking for someone who knows how to party
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Them: Shake what your mama gave you!
Me: *shakes feelings of inadequacy and below average eyesight*
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If you like to worry about things before, during and after it happens, then anxiety might be for you
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Found someone else’s shopping list outside the store today and it just said ‘kids snacks, wine & lots of cheese’ so I’m pretty sure I have a potential BFF living near me
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Might fuck around and just reply ‘no’ to all my work emails
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My 5yo told her friend “you can’t say sorry then just carry on doing it” and I think a lot of adults need to take this advice
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The right person will find beauty and strength in all your broken pieces
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Them: have you tried lavender?
Me: I could BE lavender and I still wouldn’t sleep through the night
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I’ve been struggling recently. But those nasty thoughts that appear when I’m down didn’t win. I’ve taken some time to remember what I’m worth & why I’m here and I’ll do what I can to feel a bit of sunshine again, even if it’s just wearing my favourite dress with nowhere to go
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If you don’t say hello when a toddler passes you their pretend phone I don’t think we can be friends
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Bartender: what size glass of wine?
Me: I have a toddler…
Bartender: large it is
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I left my kid in daycare an extra half hour so I could eat Doritos without sharing and I have absolutely no regrets about this
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I don’t ask for directions. I just struggle until I accidentally find where I’m going
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Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart
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