"The effective therapist should never try to force discussion of any content area: therapy should not be theory-driven but relationship-driven."
Yalom, I., 2008. The gift of therapy.
#psychotherapy
My dearest, wonderful friend,Helen,died yesterday. I am heartbroken. We said our goodbyes with love and tears. I hope you will bear with me this week as I Tweet quotes about loss of a friend. These will help me along the way and,I hope,others too. 🙏🌹😢😢😢
Sometimes I simply remind patients that sooner or later they will have to relinquish the goal of having a better past.
Irvin D. Yalom
#patients
#therapy
#past
Of course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt me. Of course we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
“The therapist’s worldview is in itself isolating. Seasoned therapists view relationships differently, they sometimes lose patience with social ritual and bureaucracy, they cannot abide the fleeting shallow encounters and small talk of many social gatherings.”
Irvin D. Yalom
“Loneliness does not come from having no people around, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.”
Carl Jung
#loneliness
“The therapist’s worldview is in itself isolating. Seasoned therapists view relationships differently, they sometimes lose patience with social ritual and bureaucracy, they cannot abide the fleeting shallow encounters and small talk of many social gatherings.”
Irvin D. Yalom
Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.
Carl Jung
#loneliness
You cannot save anyone. You can be present with them, offer your groundedness, your sanity, your peace. You can even share your path with them, offer your perspective. But you cannot take away their pain. You cannot walk their path for them.
Jeff Foster
All therapy is grief work. A process of confronting a life where you expect one thing and get another, a life that brings you the unexpected and unanticipated.”
Edith Eva Eger
#therapy
#grief
#expectations
“The therapist’s worldview is in itself isolating. Seasoned therapists view relationships differently, they sometimes lose patience with social ritual and bureaucracy, they cannot abide the fleeting shallow encounters and small talk of many social gatherings.” Irvin D. Yalom
The principle aim of psychotherapy is not to transport one to an impossible state of happiness, but to help (the client) acquire steadfastness and patience in the face of suffering.
Carl Jung
#psychotherapy
“Depression is like a woman in black. If she turns up, don’t shoo her away. Invite her in, offer her a seat, treat her like a guest and listen to what she wants to say.”
Carl Jung
#depression
#listening
All therapy is grief work. A process of confronting a life where you expect one thing and get another, a life that brings you the unexpected and unanticipated.”
Edith Eva Eger
#therapy
#grief
#expectations
“The most comprehensive formulation of therapeutic goals is the striving for wholeheartedness: to be without pretense,to be emotionally sincere,to be able to put the whole of oneself into one's feelings,one's work,one's beliefs.”
Karen Horney, Our Inner Conflicts
Psychotherapy
“Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say “My tooth is aching” than to say ‘My heart is broken.’”
C.S. Lewis, “The Problem of Pain”
All therapy is grief work. A process of confronting a life where you expect one thing and get another, a life that brings you the unexpected and unanticipated.”
Edith Eva Eger
#therapy
#grief
#expectations
“The therapist’s worldview is in itself isolating. Seasoned therapists view relationships differently, they sometimes lose patience with social ritual and bureaucracy, they cannot abide the fleeting shallow encounters and small talk of many social gatherings.”
Irvin D. Yalom
Intimacy requires courage because risk is inescapable. We cannot know at the outset how the relationship will affect us. Like a chemical mixture, if one of us is changed, both of us will be. Will we grow in self-actualization, or will it destroy us?
Rollo May
#relationships
In my early professional years I was asking the question: How can I treat, or cure, or change this person? Now I would phrase the question in this way: How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for his own personal growth?
Carl Rogers
Love isn’t something natural. Rather it requires discipline, concentration, patience, faith and the overcoming of narcissism. It isn’t a feeling, it’s a practice.
Erich Fromm
#love
“Loneliness does not come from having no people around, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.”
Carl Jung
Four givens are particularly relevant for psycho-therapy: the inevitability of death for each of us and for those we love; the freedom to make our lives as we will; our ultimate aloneness; and, finally, the absence of any obvious meaning or sense to life.
Irvin D. Yalom
Therapists need to have a long experience in personal therapy to see what it's like to be on the other side of the couch and see what they find helpful or not helpful.
Irvin D. Yalom
#therapists
#personaltherapy
Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you.
C.G. Jung
#loneliness
Of course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt me. Of course we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
In my early professional years I was asking the question:How can I treat, or cure, or change this person?Now I would phrase the question in this way:How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for his own personal growth?
Carl Rogers
#change
#therapy
#relationship
In my early professional years I was asking the question: How can I treat, or cure, or change this person? Now I would phrase the question in this way: How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for his own personal growth?
Carl Rogers
“I wonder if you can ever be at home anywhere, because home is not a place – it’s a state of mind. Really being at home is feeling at home in your own skin... Perhaps you have been searching for home in the wrong place all your life.”
Irvin D. Yalom
#home
Sometimes I simply remind patients that sooner or later they will have to relinquish the goal of having a better past.
Irvin D. Yalom
#psychotherapy
#lettinggo
#past
My experience in psychotherapy convinces me that the act which requires the most courage is the simple communication, unpropelled by rage or anger, of one's deepest thoughts to another.
Rollo May
#psychotherapy
#courage
In my early professional years, I was asking the question: How can I treat, or cure, or change this person? Now I would phrase the question in this way: How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for his own personal growth? Carl Rogers
#Therapy
#relationship
When someone is telling you their story over and over, they are trying to figure something out.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
#story
#psychotherapy
#figuringout
Therapy isn't curing somebody of something; it is a means of helping a person explore himself, his life, his consciousness. My purpose as a therapist is to find out what it means to be human.
Rollo May
#therapy
“The therapist’s worldview is in itself isolating. Seasoned therapists view relationships differently, they sometimes lose patience with social ritual and bureaucracy, they cannot abide the fleeting shallow encounters and small talk of many social gatherings.”
Irvin D. Yalom
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life..."
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
When a person realizes he has been deeply heard, his eyes moisten. I think in some real sense he is weeping for joy. It is as though he were saying, "Thank God, somebody heard me. Someone knows what it's like to be me".
Carl Rogers
#hearing
#empathy
Children who fail to learn basic love and trust at home are handicapped later in mastering the assertiveness, initiative, and autonomy that are the foundation of successful adulthood.
George E. Vaillant
#childhood
#love
"The effective therapist should never try to force discussion of any content area: therapy should not be theory-driven but relationship-driven."
Yalom, I., 2008. The gift of therapy.
#psychotherapy
“The act of revealing oneself fully to another and still being accepted may be the major vehicle of therapeutic help.”
Irvin D. Yalom
#revealing
#self
#other
#therapeutic
The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of those depths.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
#suffering
#loss
#recovery
“I wonder if you can ever be at home anywhere, because home is not a place – it’s a state of mind. Really being at home is feeling at home in your own skin... Perhaps you have been searching for home in the wrong place all your life.”
Irvin D. Yalom
#home
All therapy is grief work. A process of confronting a life where you expect one thing and get another, a life that brings you the unexpected and unanticipated.”
Edith Eva Eger
#therapy
#grief
#expectations
When someone is telling you their story over and over, they are trying to figure something out.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
#story
#psychotherapy
#figuringout
Of course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt me. Of course we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
#hurt
Therapists are never “done” with growth, they are simply people who should be dedicated to learning as much about themselves and others as they possibly can. The best therapists are fully human and engage in the struggles of life.
Louis Cozzolino
#therapists
#selfknowledge
I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.
James Baldwin
#hate
#pain
"The effective therapist should never try to force discussion of any content area: therapy should not be theory-driven but relationship-driven."
Yalom, I., 2008. The gift of therapy.
#psychotherapy
The experience of speaking from the heart and being taken seriously builds the psychic architecture that supports the capacity to bear life.
Nancy McWilliams.
#empathy
#life
“I wonder if you can ever be at home anywhere, because home is not a place – it’s a state of mind. Really being at home is feeling at home in your own skin... Perhaps you have been searching for home in the wrong place all your life.”
Irvin D. Yalom
#home
To love someone long-term is to attend a thousand funerals of the people they used to be.The people they’re too exhausted to be any longer.The people they don’t recognise inside themselves anymore.The people they grew out of,the people they never ended up growing into.
H. Priebe
In my early professional years I was asking the question: How can I treat, or cure, or change this person? Now I would phrase the question in this way: How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for his own personal growth?
Carl Rogers
#therapy
#relationship
When a person realizes he has been deeply heard, his eyes moisten. I think in some real sense he is weeping for joy. It is as though he were saying, "Thank God, somebody heard me. Someone knows what it's like to be me".
Carl Rogers
#hearing
#empathy
The therapist's worldview is in itself isolating. Seasoned therapists view relationships differently, they sometimes lose patience with social ritual and bureaucracy, they cannot abide the fleeting shallow encounters and small talk of many social gatherings.
Irvin D. Yalom
Though the patient enters therapy insisting that he wants to change, more often than not, what he really wants is to remain the same and to get the therapist to make him feel better.
Sheldon Kopp
#therapy
#change
Do you love me enough that I may be weak with you? Everyone loves strength, but do you love me for my weakness? That is the real test.
Alain de Botton
#love
#weakness
When a person realizes he has been deeply heard, his eyes moisten. I think in some real sense he is weeping for joy. It is as though he were saying, "Thank God, somebody heard me. Someone knows what it's like to be me".
Carl Rogers
#hearing
#empathy
A securely attached child will store an internal working model of a responsive, loving, reliable care-giver, and of a self that is worthy of love and attention and will bring these assumptions to bear on all other relationships.
Jeremy Holmes
#secure
#attachment
#responsive
We speak not only to tell other people what we think, but to tell ourselves what we think. Speech is a part of thought.
Oliver Sacks, Seeing Voices
#speech
#thought
There is little that gives children greater pleasure than when a grown-up lets himself down to their level, renounces his oppressive superiority and plays with them as an equal.
Sigmund Freud
#children
#pleasure
#equals