Dr. Linda Berman
@LindaBerman4
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Psychotherapist, writer, artist. I love life quotes, poetry, art. Follow my weekly mental health blog: .Therapy, quotes, art. No DMs
North West, England.
Joined September 2013
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Are There Any Special Ways To Understand Another Person?
By Dr Linda Berman via
@lindaberman4
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"The effective therapist should never try to force discussion of any content area: therapy should not be theory-driven but relationship-driven."
Yalom, I., 2008. The gift of therapy.
#psychotherapy
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My dearest, wonderful friend,Helen,died yesterday. I am heartbroken. We said our goodbyes with love and tears. I hope you will bear with me this week as I Tweet quotes about loss of a friend. These will help me along the way and,I hope,others too. 🙏🌹😢😢😢
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Of course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt me. Of course we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
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127
599
“The therapist’s worldview is in itself isolating. Seasoned therapists view relationships differently, they sometimes lose patience with social ritual and bureaucracy, they cannot abide the fleeting shallow encounters and small talk of many social gatherings.”
Irvin D. Yalom
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88
582
“Loneliness does not come from having no people around, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.”
Carl Jung
#loneliness
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135
564
"We do not choose others at random. We meet those who already exist in our unconscious."
Sigmund Freud
#unconscious
#partnerchoice
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469
“The therapist’s worldview is in itself isolating. Seasoned therapists view relationships differently, they sometimes lose patience with social ritual and bureaucracy, they cannot abide the fleeting shallow encounters and small talk of many social gatherings.”
Irvin D. Yalom
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468
Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.
Carl Jung
#loneliness
5
78
439
You cannot save anyone. You can be present with them, offer your groundedness, your sanity, your peace. You can even share your path with them, offer your perspective. But you cannot take away their pain. You cannot walk their path for them.
Jeff Foster
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101
402
All therapy is grief work. A process of confronting a life where you expect one thing and get another, a life that brings you the unexpected and unanticipated.”
Edith Eva Eger
#therapy
#grief
#expectations
4
77
390
The fact that grief takes so long to resolve is not a sign of inadequacy, but betokens depth of soul.
Donald Woods Winnicott
#grief
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82
373
Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.
David W. Augsburger
#beingheard
#love
5
80
364
“The therapist’s worldview is in itself isolating. Seasoned therapists view relationships differently, they sometimes lose patience with social ritual and bureaucracy, they cannot abide the fleeting shallow encounters and small talk of many social gatherings.” Irvin D. Yalom
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The principle aim of psychotherapy is not to transport one to an impossible state of happiness, but to help (the client) acquire steadfastness and patience in the face of suffering.
Carl Jung
#psychotherapy
2
11
180
“Depression is like a woman in black. If she turns up, don’t shoo her away. Invite her in, offer her a seat, treat her like a guest and listen to what she wants to say.”
Carl Jung
#depression
#listening
11
42
267
All therapy is grief work. A process of confronting a life where you expect one thing and get another, a life that brings you the unexpected and unanticipated.”
Edith Eva Eger
#therapy
#grief
#expectations
3
57
264
One falls in love, and then learns, for the duration, that one is at the mercy of someone else’s childhood.
Hanif Kureishi
#love
#childhood
4
50
261
“The most comprehensive formulation of therapeutic goals is the striving for wholeheartedness: to be without pretense,to be emotionally sincere,to be able to put the whole of oneself into one's feelings,one's work,one's beliefs.”
Karen Horney, Our Inner Conflicts
Psychotherapy
1
15
67
“Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say “My tooth is aching” than to say ‘My heart is broken.’”
C.S. Lewis, “The Problem of Pain”
3
65
259
All therapy is grief work. A process of confronting a life where you expect one thing and get another, a life that brings you the unexpected and unanticipated.”
Edith Eva Eger
#therapy
#grief
#expectations
3
46
251
“The therapist’s worldview is in itself isolating. Seasoned therapists view relationships differently, they sometimes lose patience with social ritual and bureaucracy, they cannot abide the fleeting shallow encounters and small talk of many social gatherings.”
Irvin D. Yalom
8
42
237
The belief that one's own view of reality is the only reality is the most dangerous of all delusions.
Paul Watzlawick
#delusion
9
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242
What happens when people open their hearts?"
"They get better.
Haruki Murakami
#sharing
#recovery
#psychotherapy
1
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The obsession is a distraction; it protects you from thinking about something else.
Irvin D. Yalom
#obsession
#distraction
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30
224
Intimacy requires courage because risk is inescapable. We cannot know at the outset how the relationship will affect us. Like a chemical mixture, if one of us is changed, both of us will be. Will we grow in self-actualization, or will it destroy us?
Rollo May
#relationships
6
43
222
In my early professional years I was asking the question: How can I treat, or cure, or change this person? Now I would phrase the question in this way: How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for his own personal growth?
Carl Rogers
6
47
227
Love isn’t something natural. Rather it requires discipline, concentration, patience, faith and the overcoming of narcissism. It isn’t a feeling, it’s a practice.
Erich Fromm
#love
3
50
224
“Loneliness does not come from having no people around, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.”
Carl Jung
3
45
216
Four givens are particularly relevant for psycho-therapy: the inevitability of death for each of us and for those we love; the freedom to make our lives as we will; our ultimate aloneness; and, finally, the absence of any obvious meaning or sense to life.
Irvin D. Yalom
4
50
216
Sometimes I simply remind patients that sooner or later they will have to relinquish the goal of having a better past.
Irvin D. Yalom
#psychotherapy
1
25
216
Therapists need to have a long experience in personal therapy to see what it's like to be on the other side of the couch and see what they find helpful or not helpful.
Irvin D. Yalom
#therapists
#personaltherapy
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37
216
The fact that grief takes so long to resolve is not a sign of inadequacy, but betokens depth of soul.
Donald Woods Winnicott
#grief
4
36
214
Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you.
C.G. Jung
#loneliness
2
49
219
Of course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt me. Of course we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
1
45
210
“One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.”
-Seneca
#Seneca
#truefriendship
#understanding
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In my early professional years I was asking the question:How can I treat, or cure, or change this person?Now I would phrase the question in this way:How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for his own personal growth?
Carl Rogers
#change
#therapy
#relationship
8
46
195
1
38
200
6
52
190
In my early professional years I was asking the question: How can I treat, or cure, or change this person? Now I would phrase the question in this way: How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for his own personal growth?
Carl Rogers
6
28
188
Your task is to accept yourself—not to find ways to gain my acceptance.
Irvin D. Yalom
#selfacceptance
2
34
188
4
28
186
“I wonder if you can ever be at home anywhere, because home is not a place – it’s a state of mind. Really being at home is feeling at home in your own skin... Perhaps you have been searching for home in the wrong place all your life.”
Irvin D. Yalom
#home
3
44
185
“Winnicott once referred to depression as the ‘fog over the battlefield’.”
Adam Phillips
#depression
#defence
4
24
179
Sometimes I simply remind patients that sooner or later they will have to relinquish the goal of having a better past.
Irvin D. Yalom
#psychotherapy
#lettinggo
#past
5
36
173
“The task of therapy is not to eliminate suffering but to give a voice to it, to find a form in which it can be expressed. Expression is itself transformation; this is the message that art brings.
Stephen K Levine
#therapy
#task
#voice
#suffering
#expression
#art
#translation
3
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168
My experience in psychotherapy convinces me that the act which requires the most courage is the simple communication, unpropelled by rage or anger, of one's deepest thoughts to another.
Rollo May
#psychotherapy
#courage
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6
19
158
In my early professional years, I was asking the question: How can I treat, or cure, or change this person? Now I would phrase the question in this way: How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for his own personal growth? Carl Rogers
#Therapy
#relationship
3
31
157
When someone is telling you their story over and over, they are trying to figure something out.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
#story
#psychotherapy
#figuringout
3
13
121
Therapy isn't curing somebody of something; it is a means of helping a person explore himself, his life, his consciousness. My purpose as a therapist is to find out what it means to be human.
Rollo May
#therapy
0
28
161
3
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155
To love means to be actively concerned for the life and the growth of another.
Irvin D. Yalom
#love
6
30
157
The fact that grief takes so long to resolve is not a sign of inadequacy, but betokens depth of soul.
Donald Woods Winnicott
#grief
5
29
154
“The therapist’s worldview is in itself isolating. Seasoned therapists view relationships differently, they sometimes lose patience with social ritual and bureaucracy, they cannot abide the fleeting shallow encounters and small talk of many social gatherings.”
Irvin D. Yalom
3
21
151
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life..."
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
3
47
157
The unconscious of one human being can react upon that of another without passing through the conscious.
Sigmund Freud
#unconscious
4
30
157
Your task is to accept yourself—not to find ways to gain my acceptance.
Irvin D. Yalom
#psychotherapy
#selfacceptance
1
31
148
Children who fail to learn basic love and trust at home are handicapped later in mastering the assertiveness, initiative, and autonomy that are the foundation of successful adulthood.
George E. Vaillant
#childhood
#love
3
33
158
"The effective therapist should never try to force discussion of any content area: therapy should not be theory-driven but relationship-driven."
Yalom, I., 2008. The gift of therapy.
#psychotherapy
0
19
115
One cannot be deeply responsive to the world without being saddened very often.
Erich Fromm
#responsiveness
#world
0
35
147
“The act of revealing oneself fully to another and still being accepted may be the major vehicle of therapeutic help.”
Irvin D. Yalom
#revealing
#self
#other
#therapeutic
6
25
148
“To love means to be actively concerned for the life and the growth of another.”
Irvin D. Yalom
#love
4
30
150
Today is our Golden Wedding Wedding Anniversary! Can’t believe we’ve been together 50 years! No party as planned, but still enjoyed our day.
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4
145
The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of those depths.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
#suffering
#loss
#recovery
0
60
138
One falls in love, and then learns, for the duration, that one is at the mercy of someone else’s childhood.
Hanif Kureishi
#love
#childhood
2
25
145
“I wonder if you can ever be at home anywhere, because home is not a place – it’s a state of mind. Really being at home is feeling at home in your own skin... Perhaps you have been searching for home in the wrong place all your life.”
Irvin D. Yalom
#home
5
23
139
All therapy is grief work. A process of confronting a life where you expect one thing and get another, a life that brings you the unexpected and unanticipated.”
Edith Eva Eger
#therapy
#grief
#expectations
2
31
141
Intolerance of ambiguity is the mark of an authoritarian personality.
Theodor Adorno
#intolerance
#ambiguity
#authoritarian
3
33
142
When someone is telling you their story over and over, they are trying to figure something out.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
#story
#psychotherapy
#figuringout
0
36
135
Of course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt me. Of course we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
#hurt
0
28
139
Therapists are never “done” with growth, they are simply people who should be dedicated to learning as much about themselves and others as they possibly can. The best therapists are fully human and engage in the struggles of life.
Louis Cozzolino
#therapists
#selfknowledge
0
30
138
"The effective therapist should never try to force discussion of any content area: therapy should not be theory-driven but relationship-driven."
Yalom, I., 2008. The gift of therapy.
#psychotherapy
1
24
133
“I wonder if you can ever be at home anywhere, because home is not a place – it’s a state of mind. Really being at home is feeling at home in your own skin... Perhaps you have been searching for home in the wrong place all your life.”
Irvin D. Yalom
#home
1
27
131
To love someone long-term is to attend a thousand funerals of the people they used to be.The people they’re too exhausted to be any longer.The people they don’t recognise inside themselves anymore.The people they grew out of,the people they never ended up growing into.
H. Priebe
0
26
135
In my early professional years I was asking the question: How can I treat, or cure, or change this person? Now I would phrase the question in this way: How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for his own personal growth?
Carl Rogers
#therapy
#relationship
3
35
137
The therapist's worldview is in itself isolating. Seasoned therapists view relationships differently, they sometimes lose patience with social ritual and bureaucracy, they cannot abide the fleeting shallow encounters and small talk of many social gatherings.
Irvin D. Yalom
7
20
134
Tell me what you fear and I will tell you what has happened to you.
Donald Woods Winnicott
#fear
#experience
2
23
132
“People in therapy are often in therapy to deal with the people in their lives who won’t go to therapy.”
Unknown
#therapy
2
18
131
Play is the most natural method of self-healing that childhood affords.
Erik Erikson
#play
#selfhealing
1
34
132
A securely attached child will store an internal working model of a responsive, loving, reliable care-giver, and of a self that is worthy of love and attention and will bring these assumptions to bear on all other relationships.
Jeremy Holmes
#secure
#attachment
#responsive
1
26
130
Recovery can take place only within then context of relationships; it cannot occur in isolation.
Judith Lewis Herman
#trauma
#recovery
#relationships
5
27
131
“The greatest gift you can give someone is the space to be his or her authentic self.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
#authenticity
3
25
127