At 24 I'm no longer an interesting, quirky or funny girl, I'm just a middle aged woman with no PPF account to her name, half an emergency fund, a non-diverse portfolio, no visible abs and one functional knee
Drinking game: A shot everytime you find an IIT grad whose only hobbies are "traveling" drinking beer rolling cigs/joints and is looking for a fwb on the apps
crazy that Kate Middleton had to hide from the British Media when she was really just working overtime to put together the list of electoral bond buyers when the SBI wasn't able to
5 years of law school literally breaking your back to comprehend and pretend like everything is so complex but the only thing I know is that the whole point of the law and living is just- hope- hoping that people (and laws) change over time and that they change for the better
Dating men in your early 20s is literally just petitioning the government to have your name on their birth certificates as mother because you're teaching these little bitches everything
Do y'all realise how weird and lame y'all sound when you fanboy over judges? Like absolute disrespect to you because imagine a tech bro going off about Nadella we'd all point and laugh
No babe that 20 smn litigator on twt who thinks he's imp because he mansplains/gives his useless hot take on literally every leaf that sways in the winds of the supreme court because he shadows a celebrity Sr. Adv. is SUCH a keeper
Do you watch some loser from the corner of your eye get up and leave the exam Hall 30 minutes INTO the exam and you're like WHAT THE FUCK how will they survive and it's your bestie
#1
and 10 seconds later some other useless fuck gets up to leave and it's your bestie
#2
I was talking to this cute guy irl and I said "oh I didn't catch ur name" and he stopped and said "how'd you catch it when I never threw it in the first place" and I aged 3 years my eye brows fell off the veins on my hands popped and if I cut my hair at home this week yk why
Told a colleague I'm a hit tweeter and he said "I've seen your hits and misses- you barely get 5 likes" So anyway I have to change my name move cities no longer be a lawyer after this
In Sri Lanka and my mum stops every male with remotely curly hair and frosted tips to ask if they know a certain Malinga- embarrassing and inappropriately lame behaviour from an adult (I egg her on to do a bowling action)
All debaters have raging daddy issues because they want to place older men on pedestals, be weirdly cultish and learn from them in a worship-y way, have them mark you objectively on a scale and want to be called good girls after.
Rest of Law school Twitter is our VC is a tyrant we don't have super fast wifi library isn't open past midnight no grilled cheese HOW COULD UNI and then there's us who made our Twitters pvt so we wouldn't be called in for an earful by our management
2 likes bro and I'll move to chikmagalur live next to a stone filled creek in the middle of a forest and make furniture with my bare hands and pull splinter from my hand for the rest of my day and just lay down and look at trees for the rest of my life bro
Arranged marriage couples that say shit like "my forever" about each other are so right for that because there's no way they're going to break that orthodoxy and get a divorce when shit gets real 😙
making MONEY money is so weird because I can wake up on a wednesday morning and feel like I need a sub-zero varsity jacket and just buy one immediately because I can???
FEMALE RAGE THAT FEMALE RAGE THIS BUT HAVE YOU EVER HAD TO PAY 15.5K TO JUST ENROLL WITH THE BAR LIKE I'VE NEVER FELT RAGE STRONGER LIKE WHO WAS THIS WORLD BUILT FOR BUT ALSO AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHO WAS THIS WORLD BUILT TO KEEP OUT
why do people in their early 20s hang out at airlines or koshys are you a balding 50 year old male stuck in a loveless marriage of convenience and children that were emotionally abandoned by you so your only solace is having someone bring a heart attack dosa to your parked car?
Ok what if we had 2 PMs for 2.5 years each- one from Andhra and the other from Bihar and watch the most real housewives shit play out in India for the next decade
I don't compete with other women not because I'm a good feminist but because girlies will deck me if it were ever a competition there's no winning it I'm an L taker this is my principled opt out
I'm here because my mother let me make a teary plea to let my cousin and me vacation in Lakshadweep with a TOTAL budget of 5k- (we'd take a goods ferry from Kerala for 200 rs, I wrote down schedules in a diary) at the RIPE age of 15 and did not have me institutionalized
oh no
the men who only pull up when you post thirst traps don't want to listen to you talk about how well written Oe Kenzaburo's obituary was in last week's magazine
anyway
Manslaughter bad that manslaughter bad this but what if I actually like making a man laugh bro what if I want him to curl his toes kikikiking at what I say what if I want him to be absolutely embarrassed by how funny I am bro if it's a crime to like a man's laughter, prosecute me
it's all fun and games until someone asks you for directions in Delhi Metro like WHAT THE FUCK DO I GIVE OFF DELHI ENERGY DO YOU REALLY THINK I'M FROM HERE BECAUSE I WILL J*MP IN FRONT OF THE NEXT TRAIN MOMMY
URGENT: If you order your hockey sticks off amazon and apply for that b
@jr
@ng
d
@l
internship by today you *MIGHT* almost have plans by the time valentines day comes around btw
The fact that people knew they wanted to work in IP/TMT from the first year??? How do you enjoy a degree with 60 papers if you pigeonhole yourself into one subject from the start just because your uncle told you there's cash in it
"ew your tattoo has no meaning why would you get that" stfu bitchass do you want people walking around with rocket science on their arms mf little joy stealer
Lawyering is sooo girl coded because every advice is "kay you can do this BUT LIKE have you considered??? BUT LIKE you might be the exception BUT LIKE"
The first week after I get paid: millionaire hustler philanthropist independent humble
After the 10th of every month: you paid for my idly bro I'll name my firstborn after you I'll never forget that you were there for me in my time of need
Why do people try disrespecting me like bro my mother hugs me in the middle of a random week and says she's rlly proud of the woman I've become my self concept is literally limitless
I'm celibate and it will remain that way until I'm 34 I will only engage in intimacy above the eye level maybe accidentally graze pinkies w you once every 6 months when I decide that I'm in my slut era for 15 mins
Parasocial relationships are so weird bec why are you as a grown adult with a college degree and a job EMOTIONALLY invested in a celebrity's life like this should just be gossip that you silly tweet abt stop having a meltdown over some celeb smoking or dating someone touch grass
YELLING CHAPLIL HODITHINI to cat callers EVERY SINGLE TIME like there's a chance in hell I can wiggle out of my NO ZIPPER knee high boots standing up unassisted and charge at them with a single boot because I can't really take both off without sitting down
Our dedicated Pure Veg Fleet will only serve orders from these pure veg restaurants. This means that a non-veg meal, or even a veg meal served by a non-veg restaurant will never go inside the green delivery box meant for our Pure Veg Fleet.
I only like my dissertation topic because it sounds cool to me and the 3 people who ask me what my topic is, pls don't expect actual words to be typed out
This Twitter algorithm being fucked and absolutely no hit tweets for me in months means that I will have to go back to Instagram to post a shitty selfie and watch those hearts roll in so I can feel better about myself thanks for nothing everyone
Everytime I open someone’s story within 38 seconds of them posting it, I throw my phone off my balcony, stare at a wall and think about the sweet release of literal death
iD gO bAcK iN tImE aNd k*lL baby Hitler WELL I'D GO BACK IN TIME AND FIST FIGHT LAL*T MOD* TO MAKE SURE THE IPL WOULDN'T BE WHAT IT IS TODAY SO THAT I'D BE SAFE FROM THE INSUFFERABLE SOCIAL MEDIA PRESENCE OF IPL WATCHERS AND THEIR 6583th RCB TWEET OF THE DAY FOR 3 MONTHS A YEAR
I'd kms if I had to work from the office everyday because there's only 2 days in a week that I can physically contain mouth noises while working like pepepepep ruhruhruh mememmeme ehawehaw krurkrukrukru while I log someone out of SCC
When I lie awake at night I think about important things like whether people who don't eat non veg on specific days of the week are allowed, by the code of conditional vegetarianism, to use the non-veg microwaves at work or does that violate the code of mental gymnastics
Me and my besties are into 👩🏽🏫🍀🌏📜🗾🏳 type of law.
But 4th and 5th year of Law School is just 👾🦾💻💵💰💳 type of law, so we're all clinging on to that one elective that makes us feel alive.
"Why do you want to intern you have a job already." GUYS I HAVE 9 MONTHS TO WORK IN HR POLICY PUBLIC LAW JUST LET ME HAVE THIS BEFORE I SELL MY SOUL FOR 10 EXTRA RUPEES
If I ever made a playlist for someone and then we broke up and I ever had to listen to music again I'd actually just pass away die perish never breathe again
*Breaking generational curses* changing topics when other associates start talking about watches because we're not going to grow into omega- loving, patek philippe- hugging, breguet reine de naples- worshipping lawyers- NOT ON MY WATCH