Lacey Dearie
@Laceydearie
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Cat sleuth writer.
Ayrshire, Scotland
Joined November 2011
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Pinned Tweet
I just got an acceptance. I’m getting a short story published in a Scots language anthology. OMG. This is my first acceptance from a publisher since 2006. I can’t believe it 😱
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You can tell I’m unhappy and not in a good place because I’m back on Twitter. Some people hit the bottle, some people do drugs. I tweet.
Right, time to get sober again and log off. Catch you later 👋🏻
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Feeling proud! Tonight I “graduated” from the University of Barcelona’s online course, Magic In The Middle Ages. Here I am, looking like a half-shut knife, with the digital version of my certificate. Yay!
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Heart breaks every time my son tries to talk to a neighbour and they ignore him. He’s just a wee boy. Some people have no hearts.
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Up at 6am on a gorgeous Sunday morning... to write. Excuse the tired no-makeup look. It is early. I have made it my mission in life to shut my neighbour up, make more money than my husband and buy a beautiful house away from people who don’t get that working from home is WORKING!
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Don’t laugh but I’m applying to do a diploma in local history at Oxford next year. I think I might have a chance of getting accepted so long as my references are ok. I have one organised, just waiting for the go ahead from another person then I’m submitting. Wish me luck!
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One morning when I was on holiday I was bored and decided to email one of my long standing readers. Just to say hi and share what I was doing 🤣 I was like, am I being weird? But she was delighted to hear from me 🥰 I used to love having penpals when I was younger and I miss it.
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When he isn’t photobombing my selfies we are actually quite cute together. Please excuse the hair. I am still rocking my lockdown grey roots 👵🏻👍🏻
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I’ve booked my first post lockdown trip! So excited. Staying in Scotland for now - not quite brave enough to book something abroad yet. I’m off to the highlands!
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Guys, I don’t want to brag but... I have this. Spontaneous decision. I’ve been up at 6 the last two mornings to write books that probably won’t even sell so I bloody deserve this.
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Thanks to everyone who sent me a kind message and was nice to me the other day when I was being a little horror 🥰
Hope you all have a great Sunday x
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Starting the day with a rejection. Two down, ninety eight to go. Once I get to a hundred I am buying a new laptop! Keep ‘em coming! 😂
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You know the short story I released last week? The one where I’m donating all profits to charity? Someone just returned it for a refund. They bought it, read it and wanted their donation back. I have no words.
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Sorry about the fresh face - didn’t have time for makeup this morning 😬 but here’s my freshly dyed hair! And she put a wee curl in it too.
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Going out for dinner because…
1) it was my wedding anniversary on 1st July and we never got to celebrate since we were travelling
2) I am bored
3) it’s too hot to cook
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Hope this helps knock my cough on the head. Full of ginger, garlic, honey, fresh veggies etc. all the good stuff.
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Sometimes, I just don’t know if people are being dicks or not…
So I block. I mean, if there’s any doubt why take the risk? I have no patience these days.
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Good news guys. I got approved for a discretionary postponement on my exam after missing it due to covid. I’ll be taking it in September.
Yay!
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Everyone else is in a panic about World War III. I'm sitting here scoffing chocolate and writing about cats, as per usual
#writerlife
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Why I will never been taken seriously as a social media influencer 😂 Love this clown
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@thetimes
Pretty much what my first boyfriend said when he asked for an open relationship. I moved on and married a great guy who appreciates me. He’s still single and now has no teeth. (That’s irrelevant but amuses me)
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I’ve just been labelled as having no sense of adventure. Like it’s shameful.
This is correct. I like home. I like comfort. Being out of routine upsets me. I like writing and reading about adventures but my life has so much actual drama that a quiet life is what I dream of 🥰
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A year ago today I got a new job. I lasted exactly 75 days. It was honestly the worst job I ever had but the best writing fuel I’ve ever known. Because every time I feel discouraged I remember that boss and that place and I know exactly what I DON’T want out of life 👊🏻
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Hello! Thought I’d pop in and say hi. Been a few weeks. How are you all?
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If anyone is genuinely in financial hardship but still wants to read one of my books, I will happily send them a copy. No questions asked. Just buy me a cup of tea and a bar of chocolate if we ever meet.
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So, the drama queens are getting World War III to trend. Exactly what we need. Mass hysteria.
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Whoa, post a tweet about walking extra but not losing weight and suddenly everyone’s a Twitter dietician piling in with their unsolicited advice 😂 FYI I will not be answering anyone who does that and I certainly won’t be answering the old dude who told me to stop eating.
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Good morning from rainy Scotland!
I have to do some public speaking today. Wish me luck!
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Good morning.
Apparently the last time I tweeted was a year ago. So thought I would pop in and say hi 👋🏻
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You know how I tweeted yesterday about doing extra steps for 90 days? Aye, I did 10k extra yesterday and 10k extra today and my legs are like lead. Re-evaluating my positivity 😟
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If you ever feel like you are going mad, just read some of the fucked up replies to trending topics on Twitter and be assured you are probably fine.
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Believe it or not, as I’m an indie publisher, until last week I hadn’t submitted anything to a publisher since... I can’t remember. First rejection arrived in my inbox today. I expect many more. Once I receive a hundred, I’m buying myself a new laptop to celebrate my hard work.
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Well, that’s it confirmed. Last of my 2020 plans cancelled today. Total write off. But in other news, I have been working on that business I talked about last year and it is coming along nicely.
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Good morning Twitter family!
Going for my hearing test today. Covid wrecked my ears and still have tinnitus in one ear about 50% of the time and can’t hear too well. So it’s off to get them checked 👂 wish me luck!
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I’m writing a play… is it daft to think I could produce this and try to get it performed at the Edinburgh Fringe one day? Because that’s what I am visualising.
I could totally do this… couldn’t I?
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Some guy just went through one of my blogs on Medium, annotating bits and commenting on them, telling me what a terrible person I am.
Sir, I get paid by the comment and highlight. Plus I also get paid for every second you spend reading. I just bought a car so keep it coming 😂
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Friends don’t let friends self publish a book with a mistake in the blurb and not tell them.
#amwriting
#amediting
#selfpublishing
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Someone at husband’s office tested positive for covid. He has flu-like symptoms. He’s flying to Egypt tomorrow for a holiday despite knowing he has covid.
Plot twist? He is the one at that organisation in charge of enforcing covid restrictions like masks.
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Ok, I am confused AF.
I don’t mind people unfollowing me. Go right ahead if I’m not your cup of tea. But someone just liked a bunch of my stuff then immediately unfollowed which seems like really bizarre behaviour tbh 🤔
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The problem with tracing my family tree is that nobody else in the family cares one bit. So when I find something BIG, and I mean HUGE…. Tumbleweed. Nobody cares 🥺
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Finished off a novella I’ve been working on 👊🏻 Feeling pleased about it. Now onto the next one... ✍🏻
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Did not know that Twitter allows you to leave a conversation. So you can’t be tagged in that thread any more.
I’m actually loving that and have no idea why I didn’t already know this when it would save me from so many eye rolls and frowns.
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Has everyone had a good week? Do anything fun or interesting? I built my very first app this week - not a skill I will often use but felt like an achievement all the same. Just sitting down to a pizza because in 2020 in a parallel universe I was supposed to be in Rome today 🇮🇹
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If you start a project today, and finish on 31st Aug, that’s 90 days. You could write 1k words per day and have a first draft of a new novel at the end of it. If you walk an extra 1k steps (1hr) that will burn enough calories to lose 1lb per week, almost a stone!
Start TODAY!
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Start my internship today 😬 worried I’ll be the oldest intern ever. Keep telling myself and everyone else it’s never too late to start again but this morning I am NOT feeling that way 👵🏻
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For the last five days I have walked an extra 10,000 steps each day. EXTRA. And do you know what happened? Fuck all. Same weight as I was five days ago. *sigh* might just keep going for the whole 90 days to see what happens...
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Happy Wednesday everyone.
I was child free last night, so of course I took full advantage and had an M&S ready meal and watched Murder On The Orient Express. Rock n roll!!! 🤣
I used to do cool things. Not sure what happened to me. (Spoiler: tinnitus and tiredness happened)
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Finally finished my essay. Can I get a woohoo?
House is empty and there’s no-one to help me celebrate.
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I’m really exhausted tonight. I’ve been super busy recently trying to write 4 different books (cute cat mystery, soft boiled detective, travel romance and reverse harem) and trying to get my publishing business off the ground. Hope it pays off 😔
🔥 Candle is lit both ends 🔥
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It’s my birthday at the end of this month. I’m hitting level 40. I just want it to pass without drama 🥴
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Realising now how ridiculous my dog's name is. He ran away this morning and I'm out in the car park shouting RUM! like a pure alcoholic. 😳
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I woke up to find I’m not only having my best stats ever on Medium (and it’s only 6:30am) but I also got a distinction in my latest assignment for Uni.
OMG why is everything so good this week?! It feels weird after such a massive depression last week. Not complaining!!! 🤣
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Also randomly re-discovered my love for Crowded House this week. Forgot how much I loved them. Think I stopped listening to them because some boy broke my heart 25 years ago and he was a fan and it was just too painful.
Which seems like a crap reason to deny myself music I love.
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I’m pretty secure about my own intelligence. I’m not daft but I’m also not going round painting myself as a genius who knows more than everyone else. I’m naturally curious and want to learn. So I ask questions. People asking questions is not a sign of stupidity, funnily enough.
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Luke’s teacher left a present at our door. We have this thing now of leaving anything that comes in for a few days before we touch it (except groceries which we clean with antibac wipes).Every time I walk past in the hall I misread it from this angle and have a mini heart attack.
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Going to stick to my plan. The exam is remote and open book. Even with brain fog, I can still do this. I just need 40% on the exam and I will pass this year. If BoJo could run a country (badly) with covid and the Queen could still do her red boxes with covid, I can take an exam.
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#WhyICantLeaveTwitter
because I'm one of those unfortunate people who is cooler online and it's nice that people actually listen to me here
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My stress shopping resulted in a new jacket, some nice lingerie and a bag of Haribo 😈 I’d say that’s made me feel a bit better. Here’s the jacket. It’s sooo cosy. Gonna go and get my hair done on Saturday too. That should perk me up.
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Instant block for weirdos now. Just had someone essentially tell me my products are overpriced - but she wishes me every success. You can’t gloss over an insult by following it with a good wish. What the...
People are so fucking weird. I’m too tired for this shit.
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Smashed it 👊🏻
I’ll go back and do it again tomorrow.
I have decided to go out and go to the place where my agoraphobia started and kick this phobia in the balls. I need to achieve something positive this week because fucking hell… it has been otherwise shit.
Will update in an hour or two about how this went.
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I’m not on Twitter to have my mind changed about anything. I’ve mostly forgotten why I am here.
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@MetroOpinion
I get her point about wanting to be known as many things, not just a mum. But usually when people call me mum it’s because that’s the hat I’m wearing in that moment. I don’t go for a job interview and get called mum. If that happens then yeah, that isn’t just rude. It’s weird.
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Mass unfollowing after my last tweet 🙄 of course there was. Heaven forbid anyone should be genuine and actually talk about their real life on here instead of arguing about politics or viruses or celebrities - shit they can’t control.
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It’s my crystal wedding anniversary today 💎 👰🏻 Apparently we share our anniversary with Scott and Charlene from Neighbours 😂
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Audio book royalties are through. I earned the princely sum of 17p this month.
Raise. The. Roof.
I could buy 8 fruit salad sweeties with that and still have 1p left over to put in one of the tipping point machines at an arcade.
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I’ve taken the last week off. Which was badly needed because I was on 1% and flight mode.
Unfortunately that’s when my writer brain switched on and I managed to plot a 13 book series about a coven and their individual romances/travels.
It’s the series I always wanted to write.
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It was so cute. I told my wee boy I had booked us a holiday and his face just lit up and he said, “Finally!” 😂 he has hated lockdown so much.
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@beckyboopta
Unfortunately sometimes even when you report such things, there is no justice. Someone tried to attack me, caught on CCTV, reported to police. Never got him. Even my family dismissed it even though there was video E V I D E N C E. Makes me furious still 🤬
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I have this friend who says “gone too soon” on social media every time someone famous dies. When Sean Connery died and he was 92 she said it.
Now it’s a joke me and my husband say whenever someone over 90 dies. And this is why we are going to hell.
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Spammer phoned my elderly dad asking him if he wanted funeral planning. My dad decided he’s had enough of people thinking he has one foot in the grave and starts asking the guy from the call centre if he’s made any good Tik Toks lately. Dad is the senior citizen I want to be.
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Stepdaughter just sent hubby the cutest pic of tiny newborn Labrador puppies suckling their mother with the caption “I know it’s not the grandchild you want but it’s the one you’re getting.”
Dammit. *puts knitting needles and baby patterns back in storage*
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Sorry I don’t tweet more often now.
😂Jk, I’m loving not checking in.
Just offend yourselves while I’m busy getting my shit together.
L 😘
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@BDabell
@LadyJCMuses
@NewStatesman
@RachelKellyNet
Unfortunately I have spoken to many men and women, your age and older, who had mental health issues long before the Internet was invented. You don’t remember it but it was clearly happening.
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We have started using a code in our house when we talk about the rona so that the wee man isn’t hearing too much about it. We want to take his mind off it. So we are now referring to it as “pink gin.” Something that other people have in their houses but we don’t want in ours.
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I know I definitely want to teach but I don’t want to teach children. There are so many adults out there who slipped through the net and don’t have the basic reading and arithmetic skills they need to enjoy life to the fullest. I’m really passionate about breaking that stigma.
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@MarcMeanwhile
@sarahmaate
@LewisCapaldi
Old people would have been rimming years before any of us were born
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How is everyone’s Monday going? I am currently bogged down in research and notes about St Barts. Fun times 🙄would be slightly more fun if I was able to go there and write from actual experience!
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That’s me started a new novel, renewed my membership for the Cat Writers Association and done a workout. I really feel like this year is going well already 😁
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My neighbour just told me that everything in my house is bought with my husband’s money. Oh well, I can forget that deadline then since I don’t earn anything 😂 cheeky shit
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Me and my husband do that thing where someone famous dies and one tells the other about it then the we agree that we both thought they were already dead.
I’m old now, aren’t I?
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Sunday morning in bed, surrounded by notebooks, my Kindle and a cup of tea my husband made me. Doing some research and plotting. How are you spending your Sunday?
#amwriting
#writerlife
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I left school at 15 due to mental health issues (no doctor or teacher gave a shit) so I know what it’s like to go through adult life without an education. That’s why I want to teach adult literacy. I started university at age 36 and I feel my experiences can’t be for nothing.
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@dailystar
@HilarySwank
All these people worrying, but healthy natural pregnancies do happen at this age. My great grandmother had her last child (of 17) at 48 and both were fine. Let’s be positive 🙌🏻
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Found my old iPod Nano in my suitcase. Charged it and taking a wee trip down memory lane.
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What am I even feeling right now?! I think this is happiness but cautious happiness. I’ve had so many rejections and disappointments and people telling me negative stuff that it’s like I can’t let myself enjoy this.
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A random man has emailed me asking if I want his piano. He’s moving and he doesn’t have space for it so he wants to give it to me. I do not know this man.
I suppose it’s better than asking me for foot pics which is what I usually get but still very weird.
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Video called my parents to tell them about the hearing loss. My dad’s response?
“But at least your hair looks good today.”
🤣🤣🤣
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Oh here’s a new one. My face is off-putting. Wow. What kind of man thinks it’s perfectly ok to say this to a woman?
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