Kyle Prue
@KylePrue
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123
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New York Times Bestselling Author of How to Piss Off Men, Creator of Rabbit, General Internet Guy
Los Angeles, CA
Joined December 2010
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Pinned Tweet
I don’t post on here a whole lot but I became a New York Times Bestselling Author today and I’ve determined that’s worth mentioning
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Am I using too much force when I gua sha? I’ve broken three of these fuckers now
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Once a month my phone makes a little power point presentation of a relationship I botched and sets it to a jaunty bossa nova tune. Mortal men have been shot for less.
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Oh god she’s presenting
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My Uber eats delivery guy messaged me “I’m here” and I meant to type “hey” but I accidentally typed “beg” and he responded “please can I give you your food”
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LA is a funny place to live because the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen will be like “I can’t find anyone who wants to commit to me” unaware that their very presence in Wisconsin would result in a land war.
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The mainstream media has found my content. I am no longer indie. I must quit smoking and destroy my tame impala records
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I got really tired of sitting around in LA and begging people to give me jobs so… yeah… Introducing my new show: RABBIT
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Cooking dinner for an Italian-born vegan tonight. I feel like I’m diffusing a bomb.
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All five episodes of my miniseries are officially out. Thank so much to those of you who have checked it out. I made it because I was tired of begging people to let me do what I love. Best decision of my life.
Stream here:
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There is a woman who buys cameos from me to roast anyone and everyone who slights her. I’ve done six so far. This is the closest I have ever come to steady work.
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Nate Jacobs is 6’5 maybe we leave Kyle Prue outta this one.
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“It doesn’t feel like my birthday”
Or maybe you just don’t have the same capacity for joy as you used to? Idk tho
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While they do not contain music and they are not live, hallmark movies are still definitely considered musical theatre. I will not elaborate.
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The next Barbie has yet to be chosen
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today I saw a guy in the Kroger parking lot openly weeping in his car and shoving grocery store sushi in his mouth and I just kept thinking.... I can’t believe we were BOTH gonna do that
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The first episode of my show is officially out. I made it because I decided I’d rather be a person who made something imperfect rather than a guy who sat around and waited for something to happen. I think I made the right decision.
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People are like “why haven’t you been posting on tik tok, Kyle?” I LITERALLY CANT FIND MY WIRED HEADPHONES
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Chosen aesthetic: character that you meet RIGHT at the start of act 2
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Yes
Not enough men dress up as Tyler Durden for Halloween :///
@KylePrue
is making y’all look FOOLISH rn
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Men be like “hear me out” and it’s a hot woman in her thirties. Women be like “hear me out” and it’s Tyranitar
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I just tried to lock my house with the “lock” button on my car keys if you were curious whether or not I’m a fucking idiot
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My greatest pleasure on this earth is subtweeting someone in a Tik Tok and waiting for them to find it organically. Do they text me? Do we pretend it never happened? Did they see it at all? A friendship with Kyle Prue is an infinite jump scare hack.
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Men will do ANYTHING to avoid going to therapy. (I made a miniseries)
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Ask a white guy if he cheated and he’ll be like “I’ll tell ya what…”
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Watching Inside Out with a sociopath because I love explaining things
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If you listen to Monster Mash Radio on Spotify for long enough you find some seriously fucked up shit let me tell you
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People watching in LA is amazing because you’re never more than 100 feet from a woman having the worst hinge date of her LIFE
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ACAB does not include the spy kids but it does include Gary Giggles.
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Dressing like shit at a restaurant in Chelsea as a performance art piece about gentrification and not because I’m a dripless betacuck. (Please go back in time and show this tweet to literally anyone.)
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So excited to finally be able to announce this. This role took everything I had. Playing cocaine bear taught me who I was meant to be, and who I always was. Thanks to the cast, crew, Elizabeth, and of course “craft services” ;)
First look at the bear in ‘COCAINE BEAR’.
The film follows a bear who ingests a 40 containers of cocaine and goes on a coke-fueled rampage.
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My card got declined while I was buying a single pint of edible cookie dough. The cashier should have put me down like a horse with a broken leg. A mercy killing.
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Are we entirely certain that Will Smith wasn’t making an elaborate euphoria reference?
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I don’t tweet that often because once a day y’all pick some poor soul and dunk on them to death
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I made fun of furries on tik tok and now the only DM’s I get are kids growling at me
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I had a sensational time today at Seneca Middle School today! Such amazing kids!
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I’ve only based one character on myself ever and every time someone reads it they go “oh this guy’s on the spectrum, huh?”
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Thanks so much to Troy high school for having me! I loved meeting all your kids. Especially the aspiring writers.
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Taylor Swift’s music is so relatable to me because I too have had too much to drink tonight
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If Trump wants to make America great again he could always start by jumping off of one of his ugly ass buildings.
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Thanks to this stellar school for giving me an amazing welcome and having such awesome kids!!
http://t.co/BUmZs8mB7a
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There’s another episode of that show I made!!! Watch me try to break off an engagement and get emotionally eviscerated in return.
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Overheard in LA this morning:
“I’m in a truffle.”
“What?”
“I’m dating two people.”
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I just saw Love and Thunder. No spoilers but it is deeply hilarious to me that the Marvel Universe still has cancer.
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Me: *posts something online*
Middle schooler: *writes mean comment*
Me: Do I try and be mature or do I roast the hell out of this kid?
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I can already tell I’ll be apologizing for this one for a while.
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Does ANYONE remember these commercials? They were all over public access when I was a kid.
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RABBIT HALLOWEEN COSTUMES
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Sky High was supposed to be a four part series and the fact that we never got to see that is something that I will never recover from.
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This one’s been popping up a bit today
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I’m on a flight and the guy next to me is watching Free Solo. I’ve done the math and we’re gonna land midway through the climb. How…. do i save….. this man…..?
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Jackson captured some glimpses of my directorial debut!!! Coming soon stay tuned xoxo gossip girl
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I ordered a jump rope online and this is how they sent it. I’m using it to jump not tie someone up. Relax.
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Real ones know
First look at the bear in ‘COCAINE BEAR’.
The film follows a bear who ingests a 40 containers of cocaine and goes on a coke-fueled rampage.
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Person: favorite superhero team up movie?
Me: That's so sweet life of Hannah Montana...
Them:.....
Me: I mean the Avengers.
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Someone said “it’s mid august” and my stupid fucking brain was like “this august HAS been pretty mid”
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The blood shed at Black Friday is the sacrifice used to summon Michael Buble for the Christmas season.
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Me as a child: "I'm gonna be a super cool adult and have lots of friends and parties!"
Me as an adult: "all my bones hurt all the time."
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Instagram: You want to see makeup videos, right?
Me: No. Not at all.
Instagram: But check out this contour.
Me: Look I.... Oh damn...
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I can’t BELIEVE the writers of 2020 are out here trying to give Covid a redemption arc.
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I told my mom that I was going to workout but I just drove to the gym and took an hour nap in the parking lot. This is who I am I guess.
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