Kurt Vonnegut
@Kurt_Vonnegut
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Joined May 2009
Wake up, you idiots! Whatever made you think that money was so valuable?
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For some people, getting pregnant is as easy as catching cold.
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This is my principal objection to life, I think: It is too easy, when alive, to make perfectly horrible mistakes.
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Charm was a scheme for making strangers like and trust a person immediately, no matter what the charmer had in mind.
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Life happens too fast for you ever to think about it. If you could just persuade people of this, but they insist on amassing information.
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Beer, of course, is actually a depressant. But poor people will never stop hoping otherwise.
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Literature should not disappear up its own asshole, so to speak.
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The two prime movers in the Universe are Time and Luck.
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I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.'
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The function of the artist is to make people like life better than they have before.
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Who is more to be pitied, a writer bound and gagged by policemen or one living in perfect freedom who has nothing more to say?
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They say there are no atheists in foxholes, and this is a good argument against atheism. I think it's a better argument against foxholes.
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Dear future generations: Please accept our apologies. We were rolling drunk on petroleum.
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Any man can call time out, but no man can say how long the time out will be.
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I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, althouh most do not care about them. You are not alone.
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You realize, of course, that everything I say is horseshit.
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Who is more to be pitied, a writer bound and gagged by policemen or one living in perfect freedom who has nothing more to say?
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