krysti pryde ⚔️
@KrystiPryde
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feral internet clown & huge nerd. fantasy & history enjoyer. game dev. polite demon. ⚔️ working to help indie game devs succeed.
NYC
Joined April 2009
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Pinned Tweet
I've compiled a joyful thread of my favorite photos of celebrities at gaming events, feel free to contribute your own.
We HAVE GOT TO start off with this banger:
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You're not a REAL GAMER unless you can shove an ENTIRE Nintendo GAMECUBE up your ASS
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imagine getting roasted by your wife in her AnimeNYC bio
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I’ve never seen a more “hiding a zombie bite from the rest of the group” lookin’ bitch in my life
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If you wear a mask you look like a cool Mortal Kombat character and people will want to do sex to you
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I once tried to report harassment to HR at a games job only to find out the girl in which I reported it to was romantically involved with the abuser and I lost my job 🤪
For context, HR often not being a safe space for people is why harassment goes largely unreported.
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the dr disrespect coverage the last few days has shown me mostly that an alarming amount of people don’t know how literally anything works and refuse to apply critical thinking any step of the way
forming an incel phalanx around the guy in a wig who makes fun of pronouns 🚮
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I don’t know how to explain it but in Final Fantasy XIV I feel like there should be a Cheesecake Factory in Limsa Lominsa
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I once asked a guy I was dating if he thought I was smart and without hesitation he said no and I kept dating him so turns out he was right
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I apologize for not starting an onlyfans or a podcast, but please trust me when I say I am very hot and have bad opinions
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I’ve dated enough men in bands to know when I’m being gaslit
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1k likes and I’ll send this with no context to my blocked ex
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dated a man for 4 years and he once left me a very romantic note in my work bag about how much he loves my blue eyes which was unbelievably sweet except that my eyes are green
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I went to my gynecologist recently and I was like “I think my pussy is haunted” and she was like “haha what” and I told her that nobody wants to visit it and at the end of my visit she says “everything looks paraNORMAL to me!” like damn bitch you got a Twitter?
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Ways I’ve broken up with boyfriends:
1. Buying a World of Warcraft expansion I was explicitly told not to buy
2. A PowerPoint presentation
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on this fated day, 100 years ago, my mother blew her coochie out so I could shit post on Twitter
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having an out of body experience at a sex shop watching a couple break up In front of the buttplugs while The Beach Boys play softly overhead
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The number of upset men in my DM's yelling at me for wanting to fuck my PlayStation is proof that most gamers are virgins
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I don't know how to keep telling you guys this, but if content can have dragons and magic it can also have black people
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I played Final Fantasy 8 as a kid and took the only note I needed
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sex is intimate and sacred your body is a temple and you shouldn't share it with anyone who played alliance in world of warcraft
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I’ve dated enough men now to know that within six months they’ll have made you watch:
Heat (1995)
Roadhouse (1989)
Bloodsport (1988)
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My kink is saying “what’s The Office?” when men ask me if I watch The Office
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I’m a WOMAN GAMER i use my LARGE TALONS to CRUSH CANDY
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if you go home with him and he doesn’t have anime figures on his shelf don’t fuck him
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I don't think people understand the emotional nuclear winter that occurs after you're cheated on. It's effects last for years after.
Be careful with people, fucking please and thanks.
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Treat yourself like the rarest Charizard card ✨ inspired by
@egoraptor
and all the dope trading card game content he’s been making
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Me: Truly crazy that I’m single
Also me: Did you know Smaug isn’t even the biggest dragon in Middlearth lore? Ancalagon the Black is almost 100x bigger but got its shit kicked in by Eärendil in the War of Wrath
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whenever I see Kojima trending I’m like what’s this little freak up to now
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now that we’ve defeated the Twitter crop, behold the absolute l ë ń g t h of me
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I love when men DM me to suggest I delete a post they didn’t like.
You’re weak.
Your bloodline is weak.
Time will forget you.
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With everything going on in my life, I decided to just go ahead and make an OnlyFans since I get asked all the time. Now shut up.
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I want to square up with Mitch McConnell gladiator style in a Colosseum and I’m inviting you all to watch
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Even if nobody ever loves me again I will always have the Lord of the Rings extended editions
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Remember when Snoop Dogg asked to be called Snoop Lion and everyone collectively was just like, absolutely not
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Thinking about when that guy tried to sue Twitch because he jostled his dick until it was necrotic, citing that girls on Twitch exacerbated his sex addiction and went on to list me as one of The Problems in the lawsuit
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I will never understand why people shoot straight out their seats as soon as the plane lands then stand in the aisle.
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If you’re thinking about sending that risky text, do it. Full send. Fuck it. Nothing is real. Craft your own reality. Fight god. Tank your credit score. Go apeshit.
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✨ a sexy little reminder to not burn yourself out for any company because already wealthy people do not give a fuck about your work or wellbeing ✨
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this month marks a year that I left my long-term ex who cheated on me among other indecencies and in case anyone needs to hear this: leave them, it gets better, the world has an incredible amount to offer anyone who is brave enough to open their heart to it 🗡
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So you think Edgar Allan Poe is short for Edgar Allan Poetry
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The Circus is back in town:
Dr Disrespect fans are already defending him, while literally not knowing why, is case in point in regards to the toxicity of our industry and why people with large platforms have a sociopolitical and moral obligation to their audience to be better
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befriending men to get closer to their cool girlfriends
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Arin and I are unofficial Bubsy PR reps and y’all can smoke shit if you don’t support him
A smash bros character reveal tonight? It couldn’t Pawsibly be...
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If you’re one of those “innocent until proven guilty” motherfuckers in threads when women speak up about their negative experiences with men, you’re only outing yourself as someone just as bad.
Don’t be a martyr for creators that don’t give a shit about you.
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taking it as a compliment that a man had to use his inhaler after having sex with me
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Went on a date with a dude that's some kind of bone doctor and he said I walk funny because of a deformity in my right leg
Finally, a man that can fix 𝓂𝑒
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Joining forces with the Hot Tub Gamer Girls as the monarch of High Fantasy Pool Thots
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#girlsbehindthegames
I've worked in games for over 10 years now! I've done a lot: design, animation, PR, events, community & social, on-camera work, journalism, production, competitive gaming and now I'm currently in brand marketing and I get to work with amazing devs all day! 🤗
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