Kirsten
@Kirsten3531
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Effective Altruism and petty drama 🦙
London, England
Joined May 2016
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husband and I accidentally bought each other the same £1.75 card from the local grocery store
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I regret to inform you that "bad people don't worry about being good, therefore if you have moral anxiety you're good" does not match my experience
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Something I notice about people who have 4+ kids is that their lives don't seem to be on hold while they have small kids, and I don't know which way they causality goes
Do chill people have more kids, or does having more kids make you resilient?
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I heard a few years ago that you can improve your attention span with practice, that every time you choose to ignore your phone and keep focusing on work it reinforces that habit in your brain, and I have found it to be largely accurate
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When I was 21 the guy I liked made me French toast with a "secret ingredient" and I was like "is it vanilla? 🤨" and he was crushed
And looking back I think this explains a lot about my early dating problems
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I don't know who needs to hear this, but being extremely direct is not the same as being good at communicating
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Just saw a guy who makes a habit of going viral for saying "productivity tips" allowed him to finish a PhD and raise 6 kids instead of crediting his wife, who's a full-time mom. He does this every 3 months to keep getting attention and new followers. It's just... so sad?
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quick everyone post your most privileged and unrelateable problems while people are distracted with $100k acid tweets
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With two kids you can just have a short life season of being poor and tired and giving up hobbies and travel
With many kids you can't just suck it up for a couple years, you have to actually like your life with toddlers
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My new parenting motto is "babies want to be included"
Eating lunch? Offer him a bite
Folding laundry? Fold it all around baby, let him chew on my shirts
Vacuuming the house? Strap him to my chest and off we go!
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The order you read books in makes a big difference about which books you find insightful and useful and which books you find repetitive, clichéed and poorly argued.
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Heard a mom of 5 say that if you're going to have a big family, you NEED to be able to have a good day even if one of your kids isn't. Because one of them will ALWAYS be upset. You can't depend on them all being happy for your happiness!
“Why did you have kids if you are just going to complain about them?”
My brain couldn’t have comprehended how much crying there would be. One of them, or me, is always crying. There’s no way to know this because you only get the insider knowledge once it’s too late.
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Summary of answers:
-yes they get more chill
-having older kids motivates you to leave the house
-older kids can do work (mix of admiring takes and tragic stories)
-flying with 4 kids is easier than just one (?!???! no it isn't??)
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@rahaeli
Also: open the curtains during the day if there's any sun at all, then close the curtains as soon as the sun goes down to prevent heat loss.
Warmth gain from sun (even mix of sun and clouds) outweighs the heat loss from glass most of the time
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I genuinely hate that I can't succeed at 5 or 6 careers simultaneously. WHY do I have to pick one to invest 30+ hours a week into? Why can't I have a different job every day?? 😭
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In January 2023, or possibly early February, I will be having a baby ☺️
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Summary of selection effects answers:
-you've never met the ppl who don't leave their houses (this is my favourite answer, so true)
-chill rich people have more kids/people who aren't coping have less (in my circles)
-similar people congregate (I'm esp aware of a rare cluster?)
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What's your best tip for tricking people into thinking you're hot?
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@AnyaM8_
Reality is more like your no makeup tradwife is peeling potatoes for the 78th straight day because that's what keeps over the winter
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We wanted to make bedtime stories part of baby's routine, but he didn't care about picture books, he just wanted to look at our faces and hear us talk.
So now I read to him from science fiction novels and my husband reads to him from the Financial Times
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My hot take is that the average tweet talking about what men are like or how women behave does more harm than good
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therapist: wow, anger really suits you. with other feelings you seem more unsure or worried you'll be swept away, but with anger you seem confident and in control.
... have you considered just leaning into anger for the next couple weeks?
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Being insecure can make you look really stuck up, because a lot of times your need for affirmation will leak out,
And if someone thinks you are obviously hugely talented/intelligent/attractive and you keep subtly asking them to affirm it they'll think you're vain
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Why are people so obsessed with Thinking Fast and Slow? I was relieved the replication crisis totally destroyed their sciencey claims because it's so boring I didn't want to finish it
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I'm pretty sure I should celebrate the transition from "high potential young person" to "pretty okay middle manager"
I've done things in the real world! I've helped people! This is objectively a good place to be age 30
But it still kind of feels like a let down
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another selection effect answer: chill extraverted parents have chill extraverted kids. they all go out and have fun together, while the neurotic introverted families stay home
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I want to see 20% more meddling in the lives of the people you love most in the world. I'm talking
-"I heard she's single"
-"Get in we're going shopping"
-"It is UNACCEPTABLE that you have not had sex in a YEAR, I am keeping the baby, you and your husband are going to a hotel!!"
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Bezos is worth $120 billion, if he sold all his Amazon shares.
It costs upwards of $6 billion per nuclear power plant (Sizewell C will cost £20-30 billion).
He could pay for the construction of between 4 and 20 nuclear power plants. Very kind! Would not solve climate change.
this might sound cynical but i’ve always wondered why no billionaire has singlehandedly funded the halting/reversal of climate change solely for the sake of satisfying their narcissism by being able to say they literally saved the entire human race
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Never Eat Alone reflection thread:
This is unapologetically a networking book. He describes cyberstalking people, memorising their photo and facts about them, and then strategically bumping into them. It's definitely weird.
But it is FULL of useful tips so 🤷🏻♀️
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I am regularly amazed that other people apparently learned so little at university. I loved university, learned a ton, and every five years I'm tempted to do another degree 😅
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Starting the new year with a new baby, he slept through the fireworks like a champ 💪
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the entire Effective Altruism movement started from the idea of being good at shopping can make you good at helping people
HOW did this end up male-coded?? please someone explain this to me
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Three tools your brain can use if it sees you trying to do something really hard with a low chance of success (like write the next great American novel):
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Today I learned that Wales has no representation in the Union Jack
Lads it's time to add a DRAGON
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Me to a Zoomer at a party: I love your outfit, that's such a cute top!
Zoomer, visibly pained: Thanks, I like your, uh, denim? Never goes out of style haha
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@AaronBergman18
sounds potentially hazardous in a fire. isn't that why bedrooms need windows? honestly if its that deep even a flood could be a problem
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Maternal gatekeeping is when you won't let dad look after the kids, maybe usually by having Extremely Specific Standards
Like having a 72-step process for baby's bathtime, or "I can't believe you let him eat avocado when you KNOW he had it for BREAKFAST already!"
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@thelindsayellis
Call me up again, and he's like "i sTilL lOvE YoU" and I'm just like, "This is exhausting! We are never getting back together. Like, ever!"
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Visa suggests "people are anxious because they aren't doing what they know is their best"
Another suggestion I have: you're anxious when you haven't made a decision yet about which person you want to be, and so you're trying to be all of your possibly selves poorly
observation:
1. nobody has the time to do everything they want to do
2. the people who take the trouble to prioritize what they want, and then focus on doing whatever is most important to them, are almost never the ones who are anxious about (1)
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I read a LOT of feminist Facebook posts about maternal gatekeeping in 2012 and my husband is great so I figured I'd be good
But NO
Just knowing about the pattern is apparently not enough to prevent me from living it
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The global fertility rate has halved in the last 50 years.
What is the most interesting and revealing and hard-to-believe/understand statistic you know
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Why won't my likes stick? I'm so confused. From now on I will have to comment 'like' on everything
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Can someone please tell me that spending money on my own happiness is not immoral?
Not for EA reasons just, like, generally
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The biggest thing I learned from home organization shows is:
1) things you use every day (deodorant, cereal) should be easy to grab
2) you should have backups of those things
3) the backups can be *somewhere else*
Why tf did I think ALL the Cheerios needed to live together??
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Santa discourse is just a proxy war for the rat/postrat worldviews
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I kind of want to write a Rationalist fan fiction.
Not like HPMOR.
Like, I am a fan of the Rationalist Expanded Universe, and my characters will occasional interact with Eliezer Yudkowsky, Aella and Elon Musk.
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@ellegist
Do you actually like hanging out with them (happily doing taxes and laundry)?
Have you ever seen or heard of them being vindictive? How do they treat their enemies?
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too many people want to be friends with me and it makes me really uncomfortable, sometimes I just want to have a fun time chatting and then not make it a lifelong committed relationship 😬
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If you worked in an office with these four brown-haired white women, do you already have a sense of which one you'd probably become friends with? (Comments welcome, poll in the next tweet)
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I feel so bad when other moms attempt to bond by asking if my husband is inept at baby things. "Sorry my husband is superior to yours" just doesn't seem right
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tell me something you're struggling to do (or do consistently) and I'll suggest some ways you might make it easier for yourself
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I think we should be able to treat our followers like Pokémon and choose the best ones to fight other people's followers
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Kirsten's guide to what you should actually do as an adult
Green - required
Yellow - recommended
Red - lmao
How does anyone have enough time to:
-Lift weights
-Do cardio
-Walk 10k steps
-Cook all your food
-Dress + iron your clothes
+ make time for friends & date
+ read before bed
+ work 8-12hrs + sleep 8hrs
Literally impossible
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My attention span is not fixed, it changes depending on how I've recently behaved
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John Green and his YouTube fans bullied Johnson and Johnson into allowing generic manufacturing of lifesaving TB drugs, which is like - I'm in awe
Well done to John, Nerdfighteria, and the people inside J&J who pushed through this change!
This was incredible news to wake up to!!! Thank you
@JNJNews
for choosing
#PatientsNotPatents
I'm once again overwhelmed by the power of a dedicated and caring community.
@sportswithjohn
and
@hankgreen
have done something amazing <3
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husband: yeah I know you had a lot to drink last night
me: wait, how did you know?
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it used to be impossible for me to weigh more than 120lb no matter what I ate. I went to a nutritionist for it and she couldn't fix it. luckily time solved that problem 😌
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@QiaochuYuan
In 1990 ultrasounds weren't good enough to diagnose my baby's condition, so it's 50/50 he would've died in delivery. Today more and more babies are diagnosed before delivery, like mine, and 97% of those live, like mine
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What kind of cynical game is he playing? Is it really worth consistently publicly insulting your wife for an extra couple thousand followers? Or are they in it together, she's like "yeah live that grift life babe, optimize for clicks"?
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I've been really enjoying "a little older than one" as an age. It's cool having a more mobile baby who's increasingly communicative and intelligent
Things I like:
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Friend: I'm afraid I'm going to get fired.
Normal people: You definitely won't, you're so great!
Me: *pulls up a spreadsheet* Sounds like a great opportunity for some forecasting practice! 📈📊👩🏻💻
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Stable job boring grownup ppl: how much savings do you (recommend that people) keep in cash? Vs S&P 500? Vs secret third thing?
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Got some bad news last night and more (unrelated) this morning. Your prayers would be appreciated.
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We're pretty ok about this with normal housekeeping things, we each have stricter preferences around different things and we try to respect each other
But baby was different because I was at home with him, and had read all the books, and everything felt SO high stakes
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I also want to be strong!!
1 like = 5 negative pull-ups*
*I will jump up and then lower myself down, like the second half of a pull up, because I'm too weak to pull myself up 😭
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I just saw another article that argued calories on menus have no benefits, they can only harm people
Please can we just acknowledge that there are actual benefits to calories on menus?? Some people (like me!) find them really helpful
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After like six months of incessant Minesweeper, I finally won on expert 😎
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Okay I have a confession: I don't think community can exist without people you don't like very much. Or at least, it won't be very stable. Otherwise as soon as 2 members of your 120 person community have a disagreement the whole thing falls apart! Might as well plan for conflict
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Have you ever been relaxed and procrastinating at work and then realized, "oh no I have a massive commitment for the next two weeks, I really should've been more efficient today?"
Yeah that's how I feel about how my 20s went
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This girl was looking for her fave marinara sauce, wrote up what she learned, and INCLUDED A METHODS SECTION IN HER THREAD. Automatic follow tbh, respect
Methods section next. I’m a trained scientist, this is important to me to include. But also I get why scientific journals sometimes put this section in smaller print; feel free to skip.
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I aim to donate 10% mostly to global poverty, and am monogamously married for life with 2 kids, and I used to donate blood sometimes but it's kind of inconvenient and I figured if they make it that hard they probably don't really need me, and I really vibe with EAs, AMA
Most EAs are not like EAs you see on twitter.
In terms of resource use, a huge chunk (20 - 60%) of resources goes to global dev and those people don't loudmouth on twitter much.
In terms of EA orgs, most are quiet chilled people rather than extremely online and poly.
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I actually think it's super useful for every straight 20-something to learn the Top 5 Failure Modes of Unhappy Straight Couples
Gives you useful things to look for in dating, helps you start your relationship out right, gives you a vocabulary to talk about what you want
if, otoh, my friend thinks they have a problem with the entire gender that they're attracted to, that is an unsolvable problem. unless they reframe their problem, they are going to end up complaining to their grave
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The "every smart person I know" takes tell me a lot about who you guys see as smart
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Looked up 2500 calorie meal plans because I'm constantly hungry rn and they're all for bodybuilders, the advice is like eat 4 scrambled eggs(?) and consume the heart of a young goat(????)
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I have a code to take down the entire LessWrong website for a day and I have never been more tempted in my entire life
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Made eye contact with a baby on the tube for 10 seconds and now I would sacrifice my life for that specific baby.
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My toxic trait is I think it's hilarious that Effective Altruism bought two castles last year
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I have a secret:
When our toddler wakes up early he's normally ok to just grab a book and look at it until one of us gets him at 7:30
This is responsible for most of our sanity
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Postrat Twitter feels very Brave New World sometimes, in an "optimize your life to make you happy" way.
So tell me, postrat Twitter, what are you aiming for beyond happiness?
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One of my friends in university told me "yeah of course you talk a lot, but you're not just talking for the sake of it, it's because you have a lot of important things to say" and that single compliment will live in my heart forever.
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One big difference I've noticed between my more traditional and more liberal friends about long-term relationships:
More traditional friends talk a lot more about "seasons" of relationships and common patterns many LTRs go through for a period.
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Pregnancy thread, because I have many new thoughts on this topic:
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