Kerri Sackville
@KerriSackville
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Writer. No longer here. Find me on Facebook @KerriSackvilleOnline or Instagram @KerriSackville .
Sydney
Joined March 2009
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Pinned Tweet
Cannot enjoy or participate in a social media platform owned by a man like Musk. We have to have some principles, right?
Logging off for now. It's been a joy and delight.
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Am quite sure no staff from David Jones Bondi Junction will catch Covid because Covid would have to find them first and let me tell you, I’ve tried and failed.
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Dear
@GladysB
PLEASE explain why I can go to Bunnings but I cannot get my potentially life-saving routine mammogram through Breastscreen NSW???
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If I’d had to deal with the shit
@TamePunk
has to deal with at her age I’d be in an institution.
Her strength. I cannot fathom.
Love, respect, awe, solidarity.
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Thank you
#GraceTame
for showing young women they do not need to be nice to men who treat them like shit.
Took me 50 years to work that out.
@TamePunk
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I've never seen Australians so divided and angry. I was going to write 'Covid is making us crazy' but then I realised it's not Covid. It's our current government. Our government is making us crazy.
#auspol
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Bit hard to protect yourself from Covid when they take the mask mandate away and it spreads like wildfire in the schools and your kid gets it and you care for your kid.
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My son got his result! After six days! He is one of the 11,200!!!
(And he was tested before Xmas. Can you IMAGINE how many positive tests there are still to come???)
#domicron
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Today in the pharmacy I told a woman to please put on her mask.
“What are you, the mask police?” she asked.
“Yes I am,” I said sternly. “And you need to put on your mask.”
Friends, she did.
😂
#lockdown
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Dear Rest-of-Australia,
No, we in NSW don’t know what the fuck is going on either so please stop asking.
#COVID19nsw
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There’s sick leave, holiday leave, compassionate leave, and - if you’re a Federal Politician - arsehole leave.
#auspol2021
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Tried to get a PCR test for my daughter and the queue has reached capacity. Well done
@Dom_Perrottet
, you’ve created utter bedlam in NSW.
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Guys. If every person in Australia contributed just $2 we could blast
@ScottMorrisonMP
into space. Go Fund Me???
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My kid who tested positive on a RAT has been waiting over 80 hours for the PCR. When I tried to call I heard ‘due to unprecedented demand we are terminating your call.’
This is life in
@Dom_Perrottet
’s NSW. Glad he had a happy Xmas though.
#domicron
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Brittany Higgins reveals texts from Barnaby Joyce bitching about ScoMo after Joyce calls for the other text-bitching minister to come forward my god this is an episode of Married At First Sight.
#auspol
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I genuinely do not have words for how disappointed I am in the cartoonist whose calendars I used to hang on my wall.
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My son still doesn’t have his PCR results after 5.5 days and
@Dom_Perrottet
says we should have ‘hope and optimism’. You gotta laugh, right? This is comedy
#Domicron
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Friends of mine have been waiting over 85 hours for the results of their PCR test.
@NSWHealth
is uncontactable. There are no RATs available. The system has broken down
@Dom_Perrottet
#domicron
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Wealthy 68yo magistrate leaves his wife for a 23yo, she dies 7 months later, he takes her superannuation that she has bequeathed to her struggling mum, then he returns to his wife. Charming. Just fucking delightful.
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Four days and still no results from our PCRs. FOUR DAYS. There is literally no point getting tested in NSW.
@NSWHealth
#Domicron
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My daughter is a close contact. My three best friends all have kids with Covid. Two of my other friends are close contacts. All our holiday plans canceled. NSW is teeming with Covid. It’s impossible to protect yourself in
@Dom_Perrottet
’s NSW.
#nswcovid
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So... just three years ago I had to physically fight off a family friend and flee the scene, after repeatedly telling him I wasn’t interested. He literally pinned me down. And this man has a daughter.
Grace Tame is right. Having kids doesn’t guarantee a conscience.
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The blithering, Trumpian incompetence of our PM is a direct consequence of the combative, childish shenanigans in Parliament that deter quality candidates from entering politics.
We are fucked.
#auspol
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Someone has broken into my house and stolen my reading glasses. There can be no other explanation for why they are missing.
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The hideous gaslighting of
@GladysB
:
-failing to lockdown early then blaming us for the catastrophic numbers;
-insisting the lockdown is ‘the harshest in Aust’ when that’s patently false;
-claiming to take ‘best health advice’ when CLEARLY she has ignored Chant.
#covid19nsw
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Also my daughter did two negative RATs on the day her PCR was positive.
*whispers* I don't think they actually work...
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I stand with Kate Middleton (pre-schoolers are not meant to be tamed) and with Prince Louis (pageants are boring)
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My fully-vaxxed sparky just told me that during lockdown, he agreed to be sprayed head to toe with Glen 20 by an anxious client.
The mental image of this burly man with arms splayed as an elderly woman drenches him with disinfectant has made my week.
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UPDATE: the gentleman who sent me an unsolicited photo of his genitals along with some abusive language has profusely apologised. I have therefore deleted my tweet. My aim is not to cause anyone harm, even if they harm me. But this shit must end
#EnoughIsEnough
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Was impressed last night to see a young man on a date elegantly eating his fries with a knife and fork.
Then his date got up to use the bathroom and he started shoving the fries into his face with his hands.
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I don't know who needs to hear this but NO-ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR WORDLE SCORE PLEASE STOP.
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Me to my kids: Everything will be ok!
Me to myself: FUUUUUUUUUCK
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Apparently I am supposed to be looking after my kid who has Covid even though I now too have Covid myself this seems unreasonable can someone please check the rules?
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So.... if you believe science/medical professionals you're a 'sheeple' but if you believe unqualified people on the internet you're a brave free thinker, have I got that right?
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Is it appropriate to give the finger to the dudes holding UAP banners in my hood?
I don't like to be uncouth but if any circumstance called for it...
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I was today years old when I learned that a visit from your kid after they move out of home is literally the greatest joy ever.
Tweeps: go visit your folks.
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For the umpteenth time:
If you film it and post it on social media it isn't a 'random act of kindness'. It is a calculated act of self promotion.
Call it by its name.
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Anyone having a worse NYE than me? I just lost the flavour sachet for my Two Minute Noodles
#HappyNewYear
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Is there one politician in this country whose first thought when learning of rape in Parliament house was 'Oh that poor woman', or did all of them think 'How can this impact me?'
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Anyone have a cure for
#domicron
induced rage? I've already tried alcohol, chocolate and angry tweeting.
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14 years since I lost the person who walked beside me in life, my sister Tanya. I want you all to see her. She was beautiful, she was smart, she was funny, she was super cool, and she was so dearly loved.
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Okay, let's get a show of hands. Whose Xmas day has been ruined by Covid and what fabulous thing do you plan to do instead?
I plan to sit on my arse and watch Netflix and eat jelly snakes ALL DAY LONG.
#covidxmas
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I’m so sick of the ‘freedom of speech’ argument.
There is no god given right to lie.
There is no god given right to incite violence.
There is no god given right to slander and degrade.
Having a platform is a privilege and when it’s abused it should be taken away.
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This is why we need journalists. Congratulations to Hedley Thomas and
#TheTeachersPet
team
#chrisdawson
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Two weeks ago my 19yo found the earring on the left on the ground in Town Hall. On Friday my 13yo found the earring on the right on the ground in Randwick. They’re a set.
That’s weird, right? Is that weird?
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The US, a country that cares so passionately about fetuses, allows 14 more living, breathing children to be slaughtered.
Religion above life, guns above life, politics above life, every time.
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Got my PCR test results! Negative! After 108 hours!
My son who tested positive on a RAT is STILL waiting….
#Domicrom
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Blessed to announce the arrival of a beautiful lettuce. Please share in my joy at this special time in my life
#lettuceshortage
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My partner of six months wants us to 'sync diaries'.
My diary is paper.
How do I tell him?
Is it over?
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Genuinely nothing makes me angrier than men debating abortion rights it’s like monkeys debating whether bees should move hives fuck off
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Confession...
I have been receiving a magazine subscription for NINE YEARS addressed to the previous owner of my apartment.
a) I've been told she is an awful person.
b) It's a good mag.
c) Does she never check her bank accounts?
d) Am I going to hell?
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One of my best friends of around eight years ghosted me a year ago.
I have gotten over men, I have gotten over romantic heartbreak, but I can't seem to get over this. All advice welcome.
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Hands up who has had RAT regret?
When you use one of your precious RATs and it is negative and you wish you'd saved it.....
#COVID19
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For everyone wanting us to ‘live with the virus’: when you get in a car accident, or your mum has a heart attack, better hope there’s an ambulance and hospital bed for you. (PS Thank you to all our stressed and stretched healthcare workers x)
Westmead Hospital last night: 17 ambulances wait to offload patients. When Paramedics are stuck queueing at hospitals, it means we’re unavailable to respond when our communities call 000. We need improved capacity and better protocols for COVID patients now
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Me: I'm a writer.
Woman: Wow, what do you write?
Man: I'd write if I had time. I have a great idea for a book.
Almost. Every. Time.
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Phone consult with doctor this morning:
Dr: Any bowel issues?
Me: No.
Dr: Do you have any wees?
Me: Well, yes, I've had three kids, I wee all the time.
Dr: Er... Wheeze. In your chest.
Me: *dies* No, no wheeze.
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Conspiracists and anti-vaxxers love to call people who respect medical advice 'sheep'... and yet... and yet... they blindly follow unqualified influencers from the internet? Really, guys? Really?🐑
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A possum chewed through a cable and now we have no electricity and no possum.
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I adore my kids and cannot wait for them to be allowed to get the fuck out of my house.
#lockdown
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If I referenced Gordon Gekko in a piece of writing, would you know who he was?????
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Can you actually train someone to empathize? In my experience you can only train someone to feign empathy.
#Laming
#auspol2021
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It’s my lovely boyfriend’s birthday today!
(He’s not on Twitter. I just wanted you all to know I have a lovely boyfriend.)
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And I apologise for ranting but I am SO angry. I can’t get RATs. Nearly all my friends are in iso. I don’t know what to do or if I am positive too. And this clusterfuck could have been avoided if he has listened to the health advice.
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Do we have an obligation to *be kind* to people who are actively causing harm?
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My kid. Not me. But I assume I’m up next? Thanks
@Dom_Perrottet
for the Xmas gift.
#covidxmas
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At 50-something my hobbies include forgetting why I’ve walked into a room, fantasising about retirement, and visiting the doctor.
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I so feel for Gladys. If I’d had the world learn about all my bad romantic choices I’d be in an institution by now.
Go easy, folks.
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The gap between the people I like and the people I don’t like is widening by the day
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COMMUNITY SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: ADHD does not make you a dickhead. Neither does autism, depression, anxiety, or any other mental health issue. Dickheadedness is a discrete character trait that can be treated only by shutting the fuck up.
#laming
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Life is so short, people. Celebrate the good stuff whenever you can. Every single tiny second of joy is a win.
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There will be a percentage of women whose breast cancer is caught months too late because of the closure of
#BreastscreenNSW
. It makes no sense. It is dangerous. Lives are at risk.
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This post by Linda Evangelista is so sad, and a direct result of unrealistic beauty standards and the intense and unrelenting pressure on women to ‘fix’ our aging faces.
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What IS it with men and their masturbation videos? Mate, it's a penis. There are several billion of them in the world. Tiny babies have them! It's honestly not that interesting.
#auspol
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Absolutely fuck every last one of you. And if you get sick, I hope the hospitals turn you away.
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Kid: Mum, you’re such a Boomer.
Me: I’m Gen X!
Kid: Boomer is a state of mind.
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Did a live video interview with
@BroadRadioAus
& realised too late my wardrobe was open and my bras on display please hold me in your thoughts at this challenging time
#lockdown
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The jury system doesn’t work. 12 lay people are not equipped to deal with the complexities of a court case. We need professional jurors.
#LehrmannTrial
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Have an appointment with my gynae on Valentine's Day. Should I pop a floral arrangement in there for him, or some chocolates?
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Yay I am on stay at home orders with three kids in an apartment in the school holidays so much quality family time I am blessed
#COVID19nsw
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Starting to recover from Covid but will wait another few days before telling the kids.
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This dress from
@AuKmart
fits beautifully over jeans and a puffer jacket to create a stunning silhouette to take you seamlessly from work to bar
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Going this arvo for a transvaginal ultrasound: the intersection between dildos and modern medicine.
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This gave me a laugh as I sat forlornly in my Covid infested house, thank you
@markhumphries
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Have been invited to a function that begins at 8pm. 8pm! Please hold me in your thoughts at this challenging time in my life.
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As power is restored to my home after 40 hours I am realising HOW GOOD IS ELECTRICITY I LOVE MY WASHING MACHINE BOIL THE KETTLE PRAISE BE
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FINALLY. After the horse has bolted and had an entire family of ponies and laid down roots in the community.
@GladysB
#COVID19nsw
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I have been a parent for 22 years today. Listen to those people who tell you it flies by! Then laugh in their face. They are wrong. It feels like it's been 150 years.
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My GP called on a Sunday evening to talk through vax options. My 20yo & 22yo are getting the AZ tomorrow. I feel profoundly relieved.
#COVID19nsw
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Happy birthday to me! 54 is very weird. I feel 45. Time is racing by. I just want to collect as many good moments as I can, and today there have already been many.
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I am so sick of Linkedin notifying me about work anniversaries. I can barely muster up the energy to buy my beloved mother a birthday card. Why the fuck do I want to congratulate Karen on 17 years working at Westpac?
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This is what happens to mansplainers in South Australia
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I suddenly and inexplicably hate 90% of my clothes. Why does this happen? And do men feel this too?
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