Kennie Olajiga
@Kennie_Jiga
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Med student, University of Ibadan. Writer. Chelsea. Chess. Anime. And in no particular order.
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Joined July 2019
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Pinned Tweet
Sometimes, I read the stories I wrote here. One will stand out and I'll pin it.
It won't stay there cos I'll pin another.
Well, this tweet here will be fixed.
This is a thread of every thread I've "spun" here.
I really enjoyed every one of them.
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When I was little, I once saw a boy cry. He was my classmate, sitting in a corner, head on his desk, weeping.
The entire class was a mess. We had finished exams a week ago and were waiting for End-of-the-year party.
Everyone was playing and yet this boy was crying. No one knew.
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"how do you find the balance between school and work?"
There is no balance. Only madness.
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I once worked at a train station.
One time, a rich man rented one of the trains for a party. There were different people from all parts of the country. It was merry and gay as the train whistled and rolled along the tracks.
My job then was pretty simple. I was to switch the
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we'll find a way to bounce back.
No. Matter. What.
Oh? Lacrimal?
He took second again. And again. Until his mother took him to another school.
He's abroad now with a wife and twins.
Two 2 year-old girls.
Like I said, life is truly a cesspool of shit and sunshine.
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One thing I remember about Lagos is the presence of "prophets"and their "prophecies".
They weren't afraid of walking up to anyone and unloading their divinely-inspired premonitions.
These premonitions were mostly generic and they amused me.
But there was one man.
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begged me for.
Once in a while, I think about "The Others".
For every win you achieve, every milestone you reach, every contract you've gotten, even down to every meal you've eaten, there's someone somewhere whose dreams you've stomped on, crushed, and thrown into a
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There's Google, Bing, Yahoo, ChatGPT, Meta AI(stupid but still), and Gemini. Even your Snapchat get AI.
But you, you'll still want to ask lecturer question after class of 3 hoursssss.
Fvcking check it out yourself ffssss!!!
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fast-flowing river of tears, disappointment and despair.
Sometimes, I actually feel hard work is a fallacy meant to give people hope. It helps but it's not everything. It's not even up to half of everything.
With the way you struggle and strive, there are others somewhere who
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I wouldn't have suspected either if I hadn't gone to retrieve our ball in that corner. We all thought he was sleeping.
I heard him whimper and there and then it struck me.
I had never seen a boy cry without being beaten. So, I was curious and concerned.
What was making him cry?
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I was smart enough to know he didn't want everyone else to see his tears.
I put my head on the desk too and spoke to him.
Now, I don't remember the exact conversation but it was my fault, in a way.
He had taken second again and his mother was a teacher in our school.
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begged me.
"Please let me carry first next term. Please. Please. See, just play more and don't read at home at all at all."
This boy was pleading seriously. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I barely read at home.
I do my assignments and go out to play even
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more.
But I agreed. I truly agreed.
The next term, if I previously just fought in tribal wars, this time, I was the war chief himself.
My mom stopped washing my uniform and forced me to wash them on my own. That didn't stop me.
I saw him in class everyday and remembered what he
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She had seen me playing during classes, and after closing, with my dirty uniform and bruises, always looking like I went to fight in a tribal war.
It was my third term in the school and in the first, I had topped the class. The boy, let's call him Lacrimal, was always top before
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my arrival. Always.
The mother thought Lacrimal, who was a quiet serious kid, had somehow gotten overconfident and allowed a newbie to upset him.
Second term, she asked him to read like never before—during break, after school, at home.
Operation Defeat the Newbie, I imagine.
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It didn't happen. Second again.
He told me he nearly died that third term. He had school lessons AND home lessons. His mother seemed determined.
That day, he was crying because his mother had asked our teacher and he had taken second. Again.
Bummer.
This time, he was direct. He
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would get it with ease and you'll be watching, with your dreams in the dust and your hard work in the gutter.
Some people believe in some supernatural influence— the hand of God.
Real life isn't the 1986 World Cup, and in these times, such maneuver would be rewarded with nothing
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Belloxxi cream crackers doesn't taste the same anymore. Another thing this country has taken from me.
Meanwhile, this consultant eye done jam me straight like 3x. I know he wants to comment on me eating in class but he keeps changing his mind.
No vex boss. I never chop today.
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I think one of the most embarrassing moments of my life was when this girl slapped me in public.
She walked up to me after a test and landed one on my face in front of everyone.
I nearly died.
So, the test was tricky. I can't remember if it was because I didn't bother reading—
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more than a VAR check and cut short celebrations( ...and cut-short celebrations? I hate this language).
If God was fair, wouldn't he reward hard work accordingly? Why are there those who strive and achieve nothing?
If those who are "blessed" must have struggled in the
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What is life without a few defeats? Are you truly living if you haven't tasted failure? Isn't victory sweeter after agonizing losses?
Whoever he was, he was a fool. Life would be very sweet if we only had victories. But it's too late for that.
We've taken on a lot of losses but
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tsunami.
How would they cope?
Yet, there are those who don't bother with all that. Smooth sailing all through till graduation.
Life is truly a cesspool of shit and sunshine.
I just wonder if it's all designed and orchestrated by an entity with a weird sense of humor or it's less
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Day 3.
I barged into a doctor carrying some files. He was pissed.
"You're going through ward with earpiece in your ear? At full blast? You want to kill patients? Are you a medical student or an assassin?"
The song was still playing and we could hear it.
It was Olamide.
Pawon.
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I came across a tweet.
"What's the strangest thing you've experienced?"
I've been asked a few times and one experience sticks out, one person I never saw again.
Five years ago, around March, I had gotten a new apartment close to Mayfair. One room. Nothing fancy.
I was
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"Hello Debonair, neither of us thought you'd die so soon. I always told you your bike was a deathtrap. Now, you're having a closed-coffin funeral cos your head is all crushed and messy."
Shit. I hate eulogies.
"Your mom asked me to do this for you. I couldn't say no. What would
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now but you'll surely celebrate later.
Whatever this is, it's for "The Others". It's stupidly inadequate but take solace in the fact that everyone will be part of you.
Maybe not everyone.
But I was you. I am you.
Soon, this too shall pass and the sun will shine on us once again
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I will ever see. These guys read like monks. Some slept in churches and mosques, praying and begging, hoping for the best but it didn't matter in the end.
We were all part of "The Others".
There are people out there who have worked hard to gain admission. They've put themselves
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through the grinder year after year, going for nothing less than what they desire.
Pure agony.
Then, they get it and have to go through the grinder again to get fees. And then, boom. From nowhere, they are hit with this fee hike that's going across universities like the Sumatra
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displaced with my own dreams, plans and ambitions, those who it seems everyone forgets when congratulations are rolling in for the victors and the winners, those who have to hide their tears when everyone else is celebrating...
Those for whom all is almost over and they are
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hoping for a miracle, a billion to one occurrence, a last minute hurrah, a 97th minute double deflection...
What you're begging for might not happen but don't give up.
You've worked hard? Work harder even more. Though it's not everything, it's all you've got.
You may be crying
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than that—simply random.
I don't actually know which one I prefer. But that doesn't matter too.
It is what it is.
This is not a rant, at least I don't think it is. I just remember "The Others" whose dreams I took, whose positions it seems I have usurped, whose lives I might have
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"Beast Eat Beast."
After first contact exams, scores were pasted with your full names. Many didn't resume for second contact.
I was 9th/13th because about five of us had the same percentage.
It was scary.
I met some of my friends there today, met some of the most brilliant people
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past, then others who have struggled too should be "blessed".
But that's it. I don't think it's by supernatural influence either. Not fully.
I don't even think I totally buy into the concept of God's grace (or the devil's debauchery. Whatever this means).
When I was in a PD
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program at Moro, about 1500 students applied. They told us at orientation that only 20 students would be offered MBBS. That number reduced to 15.
1%.
That was one of the fiercest competitions I've ever been in my entire life.
300+ in JAMB was the fvcking norm. It was
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The Night We Met by Lord Huron is surely one of the best songs ever.
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Novembers make me remember the time my phone got stolen.
I cried like a baby.
It was also the day I made my first cash from writing.
17.5k.
I drank garri from the previous day till that very morning. Money landed around 2pm and the first thing I got...
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I wanted to promise but then I remembered what I said about life.
If I'm being honest, there's a very good chance the sun never shines on us, and we die a few years from now, forgotten and alone, in a dark street, lying in a puddle of our own vomit.
Someone once asked—
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clerked my first patient today.
male. spoke English very well. 3 children.
He had some abdominal pain, wasn't too scared. He spoke like the doctors would fix him soon and he'll be alright.
We peeped the case file.
Pancreatic cancer. Terminal af.
Felt familiar.
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"How far? You're in UI, right? Let's link up?"
There are some WhatsApp groups that you've just forgotten about. They have traveled so far down your chat list that you didn't even know they still existed.
One day in 2022, I got this message from one of such groups.
I was so
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I've seen a lot of these flyers since I came into this school. Today, for the first time, my name is present.
Third row.
Olajiga Kehinde Stephen.
Dearest IMPECCABILEM👨🏾⚕👩🏾⚕,
As you prepare to embark on your first professional medical board examination ⚕️, we wish you the strength to tackle the toughest questions 💪, the wisdom to navigate through challenges 🧠, and the confidence to conquer your exams.✨
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I have only fallen in love once before. Like an actual can't-live-without-you kinda love. And it was back in secondary school.
I was quite young and about to write WAEC. An uncle helped register me in a high-end school in his area. I was going to stay with him for the
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I passed!!
Facckkkkkk!!!
I've seen a lot of these flyers since I came into this school. Today, for the first time, my name is present.
Third row.
Olajiga Kehinde Stephen.
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I'm so so proud.
Taiwo Olajiga (LL.B. Hons)✨
First of her name.
Tear-rubber Esquire.
My twin sister in whom I'm well pleased.😌
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So something happened tonight.
I was going from zik to idia to tech. Two girls were conversing in front of me. One was short and carrying a school bag, while the other was a bit fair and around my height.
They were talking about Twitter...
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Hello Iya Beji,
It's just as you predicted, with a few modifications. You wanted one in Defense Academy, one in UCH, one first-class law graduate and one in education, to take after you and Baba.
I thought it was wishful thinking then. Too many variables. It was 2019.
Now...
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Each room in Angola Hall, OAU, was meant for eight guys.
I loved D block, not because of where it was situated but because of the presence of a lot of my coursemates.
However, in D-Dungeon, as we called it, there was Wale, and he made me walk barefoot, all the way to Road 7.
He—
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mine. mint.
Quote this tweet with a random picture in your gallery.
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She just sat on the bed, silent. Her face, a mixture of hair and sweat, was bent to the side, watching me sharpen my scalpel.
She started crying again. I had to remind myself that it had to be done. Two minutes, maybe three, and everything would be forgotten.
I took a deep
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"Hey Deborah, your laces. They're undone."
*
He didn't sound how I thought he would. We'd never spoken before. In our class, he was like me, very quiet with few friends. Or at least, that's what I thought. He was always walking by himself and people seemed never to notice him.
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tracks manually at every intersection. It was supposed to be automated but the station was old.
I had a friend then too. We took shifts as changing the tracks was a full-time shtick. At times, we felt like automatons, the whistle of an approaching train, a signal for one of
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Day 31
Third day in oncology.
I'm observing surgery again and reminded how devilishly ruthless cancer is.
In Outpatients, there was a woman with breast cancer.
Metastatic. Bilateral. Scheduled for surgery.
However, there was something else.
About 13 years ago,
Day 30
SR told me I looked really good right before handing me "breasts" to wear.
My "breasts" were examined and palpated.
No sensory reception unfortunately.
It was quite heavy and it felt like I had Kevlar on my chest.
Bulletproof breasts, lmao.
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I once witnessed a miracle, an actual life-altering miracle. And this began, like most miracles do, with a beautiful woman.
I was with my friends on our way back from school many years ago and this woman stopped us and gave us fliers. It was an invitation to a crusade.
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Day 12.
First time in the theatre, observed a cholecystectomy.
So, yh... media update?
Day 8.
Entered Keke to UI and this lady that sat beside me was mumbling.
She became louder and I realized she was singing. It was really wonderful mehn. Really really wonderful.
But she soon alighted.
I didn't understand anything she sang. It was in another language.
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Difference between pharmacist and Pharmacologist??
Are you 12??
Be fvcking fr.
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us to change lanes accordingly.
But tragedy soon struck. It was quickly covered up but I never forgot. I still haven't, till date.
I said the station was old and in dire need of repair. We could see equipments from the 1980s. It almost felt like we were stepping into the past
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I wonder if people tweet what they think.
Someone graduated after 5+ grueling years and the first thing that comes your mind, even after seeing all the congratulations, is to say they've achieved nothing? That their course is useless and they shouldn't be too happy?
Why??
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I'll be quite detailed so you'll know.
Oya nau. Leggo.
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"Semiloore, Didn't you promise me? Ehn, fine boy?
I'm sorry about my earlier messages. I was very angry but it's okay now. There are many things you don't understand and it's fine.
I've cooked nice food. Iya Debbie later borrowed me money. Come fast, iye? I miss you, my baby."
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As presentation end and they ask this werey question, the way he stand up confidently with his Martens shoe, the way e dey walk and smile, dey nod head, collect mic, I done sabi say this werey no really read anything. 😂
But see that composure😂😂 Too good.
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A cat.
A fat cat.
A fat cat sat.
A fat cat sat on the mat.
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When I'm officially a doctor, I wonder who my first patient will be.
Maybe an overwhelmed father with uterine cancer or someone my age with pile.
I also wonder who the last patient will be, if it'll be the same day as the first or if there'll be a first in the first place.
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One small stubborn stone will just enter your Crocs and refuse to leave.
Like guy just go the way you came. I don't have to stand in the middle of the road and be shaking my leg like I'm deranged.
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hello.
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It was truth or dare.
The type where there was a pack of cards and a lot of alcohol.
I don't drink but it was quite interesting. I had my shirt off and the bottle of vodka was still full.
Five of us around the table, wondering what would happen next.
Then, IBEDC struck.
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Hi.
I'm Jiga, a ghostwriter with a flair for crafting compelling stories and content, with experience in all kinds of fiction, tech articles, and more.
Looking for a writer who delivers high-quality work? Let's connect.
Send me a DM and let's create something amazing together.
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most times when we reported for work.
A train was approaching and though I wasn't on duty, I had nothing interesting to do at home. I decided to come see Femi.
We were talking when we heard the whistle. Quickly, he stood up and went to change the tracks. It only required the pull
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Here's me reiterating that I'm a ghostwriter looking for job opportunities.
If you're looking for a writer that can deliver high-quality projects, then send me a DM.
When this appears on your tl, kindly like and repost.
Thank you. ✨
Hi.
I'm Jiga, a ghostwriter with a flair for crafting compelling stories and content, with experience in all kinds of fiction, tech articles, and more.
Looking for a writer who delivers high-quality work? Let's connect.
Send me a DM and let's create something amazing together.
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MB;BS Ibadan.
Two more sets and it'll be time for my own last lap too.
It's not so far anymore.
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Two months ago today, my two girlfriends took me out. 🥺
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of a lever.
The train continued to approach us and I expected Femi to come back in and we would talk about the passengers.
We had a theory that those who preferred to travel with trains were reincarnated and were grasping for shreds of their previous lives.
Who use the rails
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Caught between the relentless freight train of my academic workload and the immovable barrier of my financial needs, here I stand—a lazy, procrastinating daydreamer—right in the middle, eyes closed, bracing for the inevitable collision.
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Many have asked why I write about death so much. Maybe it's because I've been in close contact with that scythe-wielding winged warrior.
I remember our first encounter, the first time I saw a body. It was being wheeled out of the ICU where my father was.
I remember being young
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Wowww
I didn't think of that before. Thank you very much. ❤️
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"What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?"
It was stupid but she laughed.
I had my black hoodie, one wornout jeans and Tommy Hilfiger slides.
She completed her deposit slip. 900k. It was in a brown envelope.
"You're using a line for someone like me? I'm 40.”
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People have asked me how she died.
I think it was around December, 2019.
I arrived at the bus stop in the sweltering heat. It was the first time I’d been away from home for more than a year. Normally, my mother would be there, waiting to pick me up, but I was in the university.
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when you could travel by road?
It was faster and more exciting.
Femi didn't come in. I had to run to him, maybe he needed my help.
I was right.
He was stuck.
We had to cross the rails to get to the lever, and cross back before the trains came. It wasn't truly hazardous. The
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Whistle was a ten-minute warning for what took around 30 seconds.
However, Femi had fallen through the tracks. He was right there, half of his body in the ground and the other half above the ground, waving to me and asking for help.
I didn't even have to think. I had to change
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Roses are red, violets are blue,
My heart repeats, "I love you."
Though seasons change and skies turn gray,
I'm forever yours, come what may.
—Jiga Shuga, 5.50am.
8-03-2014.
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Reached Zik a while ago and just start to dey actually read comments, and some people dey kill me 😂
I was six???
Make I dey quote Chinua Achebe??😭😭
What I would have told the boy... "Deal with it young man, life always doesn't go as planned, take what life gives you and make the most out of it".
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*screams.
*readjusts quickly to reduce further loss of phenomenal steeze.
I'll sleep now. Time to face my demons once again.
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the levers. I saw the train in the distance, chugging and rolling on with such speed. I had no time.
See, there was a reason we had a job that holiday. One of the tracks was destroyed and the lever wasn't working automatically.
All we had to do was pull. Just pull and return to
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We looked at each other, then to patient, then case file, then patient, file, each other, patient, file, patient, each other.
Finished clerking and thanked the man for his cooperation.
I don't think I'll see him again but I won't forget his name.
Tomorrow's another day.
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Resumption in two weeks.
I done compare price of scrubs, steth, and my account balance.
Good God.
Time to hit the streets. 😔
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Ummm... Media update?
UIMSA Dinner. 🕴️
Spring in Provence.🫠
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Day 6
"Maybe Death isn't bald with a white beard.
Maybe he's in his mid-20s, has nice hair.
Maybe he's youthful, with mischief in his grin,
And a dark comedic touch, not letting emotion seep in.
Maybe, just maybe, he is ordinary,
And looks exactly like me."
P.S: Name tags!!
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"I received the first package in April. A delivery guy knocked on my door and said someone sent it to me. He didn't know who or what was inside. I was wary at first but then curiosity won.
It was a small box. I tore it open and found the ring there.
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I also remembered Hercules, the Disney animation that was so popular when I was young. I remember a prophecy where six stars had to align before the demigod could defeat Hades.
One night, one of those nights at Zik where there was light everywhere else but the great
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"Rapuunssel, let down your hairrr."
"Mother, I've got no hairrr."
chai.
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5.00 AM and I'm awake.
A girl went to have her bath and when she returned, her phone and laptop have been stolen.
Everyone here is a suspect. It feels like I'm in an Agatha Christie novel and our "Poirot" is an illiterate caretaker who swears he's close pals with wrathful gods.
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our station. 24 times a day, 7 days a week and we were paid 24k at the end of the month. Soft money.
Before I could pull the lever, the reality of what I was doing hit me in the guts. Femi had fallen through the "good" track.
I switch the lever and that train would obliterate
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Sometimes, I imagine Death in his black suit, going through the ward, swinging his cudgel, with his earpods playing Pawon.
So apt 😂
He's bald ofc, with grey beards.
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Google Maps said it'll take 24 hours to get to Lagos from UI if you are trekking, but you did it under 12.
Oya na.
ReAl IdAn!
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I done dey hear exploratory laparotomy.
Time to focus.
Ciao.
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make up my mind. The train's occupants had no idea what was happening, they had no inkling of the events literally unfolding before them.
That day was November 19th, 2019.
There's this story of an elephant tied to a pole with a short piece of rope. Apparently, this elephant
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Lesson for today: always eat before you enter any exam hall. Chew something. Bite something. Swallow something other than water.
Cos if you go forth with nothing in your gut but hope, delusion, and the power of positivity, I swear you go wan craze.
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