KeithTheGooner
@KeithTheGooner
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32,598
Following
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Media
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Gold medalist in the 1978 race to fertilise my mother's eggs, beating over 50 million of my dead brothers and sisters in the process.
London
Joined January 2009
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Pinned Tweet
There’s no Arsenal game this weekend, so the best thing to do is get engaged to somebody (doesn’t matter who) and then book me as your wedding photographer!
Launching my new wedding photography website today with a special offer of charging 20% extra to any Spurs brides!
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Just a few months ago we sacked 55 men and women that worked for our club, in the middle of a global pandemic, whilst simultaneously having meetings about the share of the £350,000,000,000 the club would be receiving.
Shameful.
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I’m sorry, but if you’re an adult Arsenal fan and you’re actually spending your Sunday laughing at Spurs throwing away a 2-0 lead only to lose 3-2 then guess what me too lol
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Yes mate, making an honest statement is disgusting, I wish my manager had just spat at some girls instead
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Ban these disgusting scumbags from The Emirates,
@Arsenal
Thank you
@SuellaBraverman
- your dog whistle rhetoric made mine, and other people’s day at
@LondonWaterloo
extremely frightening. Your words have inspired racists to terrorise us and make it harder for
@metpoliceuk
to do their job today. You need to resign, NOW
#ThankYouSuella
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@spectatorindex
Because they acted fast with a proper lockdown and now they are in 2021 and we are in Tier 4. Well done Boris
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I still remember my first ever Arsenal game at Highbury in 1985
The smell of onions & cigar smoke.
The perfect green pitch.
The fans singing.
I remember looking up at my uncle and asking, “Uncle, who is our head of recruitment?”
That’s all I cared about as an excited young fan
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I didn’t save that penalty because Arsenal kept me on the bench for a decade
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Yo
@MesutOzil1088
please can you tweet something about the British government so they don’t show the second half mate x
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@Arsenal
Absolute disgrace.
You’ve forgotten who you are, what you are and who you represent.
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I hate to break it to you, Oliver, but it's a friendly
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.
@metpoliceuk
you need to get to N5 and arrest this man as he has just murdered a poor innocent man from Burnley
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The Pope is a Gooner
When our nets are empty in life, it is not the time to feel sorry for ourselves, to have fun, to return to old pastimes. It is the time to start again with Jesus, to find the courage to begin again, to set out with him.
#GospelOfTheDay
(Jn 21:1-19)
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When you’re trying to find a trophy in Tottenham’s trophy cabinet
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Absolute relentless Bradford City bastard continues to attack me on this traumatic Gervinho Day every single year.
This morning, Moonpig delivered me my new Gervinho Day official mug 😡
Every year on this day, my
@officialbantams
supporting “friend” never fails to remind me of Gervinho’s miss on that cold winters night in Bradford. This year, he outdone himself. The bastard.
@seafordHlm
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How incredible is it, that with one week until the end of the season, we are talking about becoming Champions?
How long has it been since we’ve been able to do that?
No matter what the results today, midweek, or next week, I’m so proud of this team and excited for the future
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If someone had told me at the start of the summer that we would sign:
Pepe
Ceballos
Tierney
Martinelli
Saliba
Luiz
I would have told them that I had heard of one of them
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Zero respect for the financial cheats and cannot wait for them to choke on a big fat karma sandwich
Fuck ‘em
#115
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@Arsenal
Phenomenal. Pepe only gave birth a week ago and he’s already healed and fully fit. What a guy
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SHE WORE!
SHE WORE!
SHE WORE A YELLOW FACEMASK
SHE WORE A YELLOW FACEMASK IN THE MERRY MONTH OF JUNE
AND WHEN
I ASKED
HER WHY SHE WORE THE FACEMASK
SHE SAID IT’S FOR THE COVID AND WE’RE GOING TO A&E!
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There have now been more national lockdowns than Tottenham have won league titles in their entire history
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There’s no way this guy is under 18
What next for Arsenal U18s as Kwame Ampadu joins Thierry Henry at Monaco?
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If you think you’re upset following our defeat tonight, imagine how Stan Kroenke will feel when he finds out the score tomorrow morning when he’s reading the sports pages over breakfast
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Nothing but love and respect for Arsene Wenger. Irrefutably our greatest ever manager. Such a classy, intelligent, successful man in a sea of Redknapps.
Nobody on this planet loves Arsenal Football Club more than Arsene and he will always have my ultimate respect and admiration.
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Arsenal should refund every travelling Arsenal away fan that has made the journey to watch this display today
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All of you IDIOTS who said I couldn’t get a ticket for tonight’s Arsenal game can SUCK IT as somebody has DM’d me saying I can have a ticket in the AWAY END for FACE VALUE and I’m meeting him outside the ground before kick off so WHO IS THE MORON NOW
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@dutch85169
@ParisDaguerre
Good on you. Same reason I don’t bother with that Jolly Green Giant “Stop, Look and Listen” bollocks before crossing the road. My bones are strong and I’m fit and healthy so regardless of how busy the road is I won’t be using pedestrian crossings anytime soon.
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Not sure if my stream is slow but the ref has just given Kieron Gibbs a red card for something that Oxlade-Chamberlain done????
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It’s been 7 1/2 years since H from Steps blocked me for this. 😔
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No hate for Theo. Generally had an excellent attitude and done a job for us.
Did he meet his potential? Probably not.
Will I boo him? Nah.
Will I always remember him doing this? Fucking A
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With the North London Derby approaching, please could everyone consider not calling them the ‘Y’ word. Please have some decency and decorum about you and simply call them cunts instead.
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I’m in China. Anyone know what channel the game is on please?
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Losing Ramsey isn’t as big a blow as some are making out. If he’s that good how come he didn’t make Gareth Southgate’s England squad last summer?
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@Shackviral
@ParisDaguerre
Good on you for saying this when so many others are afraid to speak the truth, Jon
I think you should go one further and film yourself hugging COVID patients & then showing how your immune system protects you. Their vaccine is absolute bollocks if you have a strong immune system
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Sorry, I got the amount wrong, it’s actually *only* £3.5 billion, I take it all back
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Ben White is the sort of player I would violently hate if he played for another team
And that’s why I love him in the Arsenal shirt!
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Remarkable moment captured by our very own
@Stuart_PhotoAFC
picturing the moment that an Arsenal fan had to throw Ben White a shirt before kick off because he’d forgot to pack one.
Crisis averted
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Mrs Zinny and Mrs Benny are gonna have a GREAT night
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Amazing charity work by
@AFC_Foundation
🚨 Bernd Leno medical at Fulham almost complete. Permanent move from Arsenal worth £3m + £1m based on PL apps + £2m if stay in PL once + £2m if twice. Totals £8m after add-ons. Contract 3yrs +
#FFC
have option of 4th. With
@peterrutzler
@TheAthleticUK
#AFC
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@Arsenal
@premierleague
@BarclaysWSL
I fully support the cancellation of all remaining league games and I understand you will be releasing details for our trophy parade in due course
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Just got to Manchester. Where’s everyone drinking? Come on you Gunners!!!!
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Ceballos has been absolutely awful again.
@realmadriden
have got a terrible player on their hands. If I were them I’d just cancel his contract immediately...
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If Ceballos isn’t going to extend his contract then we need to sell him now or else we’ll lose him on a free next summer. Have we learned nothing from the Ramsey, Benayoun and Kallstrom situations??
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@Arsenal
@PrimeHydrate
@KSI
@LoganPaul
I’m never gonna drink water or any other drinks again.
From now on, my morning coffee is warmed up
@PrimeHydrate
.
Drink with my steak?
@PrimeHydrate
in a wine glass of course.
Breastfeeding? Open up baby for the
@PrimeHydrate
in a beaker.
I’m a real Arsenal supporter.
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It’s not though is it lads? Enjoy the three qualifying games that probably start in a week
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Just going for a 90 minute drive with my son to check my eyesight out
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I preferred the old days when our captain meltdowns would just be then going out to drink drive, crash into a wall, do some time in prison then come back and win the league
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I'm at a wedding. Here's my wedding card for my Liverpool supporting friend.
http://t.co/QTFkIVlo3y
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Fantastic to see so many Gooners lining the streets to welcome Arteta as Arsenal’s new manager
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Nice for him to experience what 3 points feels like, I’m happy for him
I'm a Tottenham fan, a famous ex Arsenal player lives on my road. His house is one of several with dropped curbs for off street parking, I always make sure to do my 3 point turn on his drive in my car.
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In solidarity with
@GaryLineker
, his former club
@SpursOfficial
have confirmed that they will be stepping back from winning any trophies this season
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@Arsenal
@metpoliceuk
@HumaneRoyal
Thank you
@Arsenal
and please let the boss know I’m ready to start in midfield when the NLD is rearranged
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@spinubzilla
I’m gonna open Winamp and play a tribute song that I downloaded from Kazaa in honour of AOL
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I gave Samir Nasri a really hard time when he left Arsenal. But credit where it’s due, he has given a seriously large chunk of his personal cash to help fund some doctors in these terrifying times. Good on him
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@kepa_46
Don’t be sorry. It was hilarious. You embarrassed your manager, yourself and your club and then were terrible at the penalties. It was instant karma and hilarious. No need to apologise and thanks for the laughs
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Looks like David Luiz isn’t flying in to sign this evening folks
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Every year on this day, my
@officialbantams
supporting “friend” never fails to remind me of Gervinho’s miss on that cold winters night in Bradford. This year, he outdone himself. The bastard.
@seafordHlm
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Özil could find a black person on John Terry's Facebook friend list
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Cole’s face
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That Westminster Bridge video circulating is a fake that was filmed in 2015. I can confirm that I was there at 8pm last night and I took this photo to show how many people were ACTUALLY on the bridge, including this brave NHS worker searching for PPE
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Sometimes in life you have to take your allegiance hat off and recognise breathtaking genius and give total credit when you see the most beautiful goal.
Having witnessed the goal that Erik Lamela scored this afternoon, I am a big enough person to say that it was average at best
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Have you tried Tottenham?
Looking for a club to have my birthday on 13th July..Club owners please get in touch...
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Everybody was Nkunku Fighting
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Solidarity with City fans. We too know what it feels like to be banned from the Champions League, albeit because we didn’t get enough “points” to take part. Same thing though
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Cancel tomorrow night’s other semi final. Doesn’t matter. We’ll play Man Utd AND Chelsea in the final.
Not a combined XI, all 22 of them. Fuck it, their entire squads. And youth teams. And women’s teams. Doesn’t matter. This cup is ours
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The real victim in all of this is the poor
@Arsenal
admin, shitting themselves with fear as they’re working from home in their pyjamas trying to figure out how to word a Tweet later selling us a new £100 AFC hooded top
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Blessed be thy Gooners, as thou celebrate on this sacred St Totteringham’s Day
May your glasses be ever full, and your belly be ever laughing at your neighbour
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Everyone slating Mustafi, a defender, yet he’s literally one goal away from our season’s top scorer Aubameyang, a striker. And this in the season where we haven’t conceded a single goal either home or away.
Some of you need to take a long hard look at yourselves
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Somehow I am now pro Kroenke
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Honestly I really really hated Jose Mourinho, but he is seriously growing on me. What a guy! Loving his work!
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@Arsenal
You done more than make a mistake. This is the right thing to do but it was utterly shameful and unforgivable. It will not be forgotten
The owner must leave our club now before more irreparable damage is done. Get KSE out of our club
#KroenkeOut
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We’ve got a game in hand over Liverpool so really need those three points tonight
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Oh man, just seen the news on my TL from loads of you saying Kevin Campbell is very unwell in hospital.
Come on Super Kev, be strong big man 😔
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Predicted XI for tomorrow:
Hope
Doubt Dread Fear Belief
Desperation Anger Disbelief
Panic Protest
Celebration
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@k3v1nkn0w5
@Mrjamieohara1
Hi Kev
I’m a lawyer and would gladly take this on. Can you DM me some more details about it please? We can do it on a no win, no fee basis so you won’t have to pay anything
Look forward to hearing from you
Keith
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