Stretched Out Death in Perpetuity
@JulsBudau
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Lifelong punk rocker. On suboxone/PSS. Research advisor in the field of public/population/prison health & harm reduction. Possibly a dog. Widowed.
Victoria, British Columbia
Joined December 2020
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If you think safe supply is killing kids, you’re being misled. Fentanyl is killing kids. The toxic drug supply is killing youth.
We *were* seeing a rise in youth using hydromorphone (hdm), which was partially diversion from the safer supply program bc ppl with v high tolerance—
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Travis was my best friend but is dead now. I knew him for 22 years. He helped me get into grad school. He finished his masters and became a registered social worker and soon after on April 6 2020 didn’t go go work and put himself in the ocean. Travis did meth.
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It’s a nonstop cycle of people dehoused by rising rents, pushed into the streets, deprived of sleep, which makes them angrier and more erratic, but everything is blamed on drugs, while services to reduce drug deaths and to help people stop using drugs are decreasing.
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I used to be sad about the things Travis was missing, the advancements, the new things. This year I know if it hadn’t been then, it would have been now. The hatred and discrimination against people who use drugs is worse than ever.
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And the hatred grows and all our friends are dead and it’s becoming harder and harder to stay alive and frankly it feels like most of you want us all dead ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Travis’s mom died alone on a gurney in a hallway at Chilliwack Hospital. She had a bowel obstruction. She was screaming in pain. She was ignored because she was addicted to opioids. Travis didn’t want anyone to know he did drugs. He signed up for a support group, never went.
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Just a reminder that most illegal substances are illegal because of a racism-related catalyst in the last 100 years or so, NOT because it is more dangerous than, say, alcohol.
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@jendhana
Travis wasn’t awful ¯\_(ツ)_/ he helped me through many things in life and I miss him a lot
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@JennXForests
“My business” of letting neighbours know if there is an overdose they can knock on my door
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@SofiaRB_88
“All these fed-ex slips adhered to the front door for missed deliveries are someone else’s business that I frankly don’t wish to know about”
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17 weeks ago ~10pm my boyfriend rolled me a joint, held me in bed after a really difficult Friday, then went to go make some coffee and clean the kitchen but had an aneurysm and died instead. I have nothing profound to say just that life is cruel and I continue to be crushed.
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TERFS: “nobody is allowed to be a tomboy anymore, it’s sad!! They’re all forced to be trans.”
Also TERFS: “I’m now using male pronouns for that woman who was born a woman and lived her whole life a woman because I think she looks masculine”
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A lot of discussion on here on how people couldn’t possibly be living fulfilling lives when using prescribed safer supply, so I want to talk about my love Andy who bought diverted safe supply off the street while he searched for a suboxone prescriber.
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Got a suboxone script. Happy 40th to me. It’s okay to address a problem before it destroys everything in your life and drug dependency is not a universally uniform experience and yes this is a simplified individualized analysis of a complex structural problem.
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Try shifting your perspective to assume that all substance use begins from a logical, self-preserving place, and that joy, pleasure, and relaxation are necessary for self preservation, rather than assuming drug users are just dummies that need their bad things taken away.
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“Do you have troubling coping with changed plans?” “Well no not at all see because when I make a plan I list all the possible outcomes and force myself to become comfortable with them all and then I consume a lot of cannabis when the time comes in order to cope with the distress”
Neurodivergent screening tests will be like "do you struggle with wearing socks" and ND people will be like "nope does not describe me, for you see I have a System" and folks that is what the question is getting at
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Today someone smoked fentanyl in my car and I was like “um you cannot smoke fentanyl in my car” and he was like “shit sorry about that” and anyways the windows were up and I did not die.
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Just a reminder that it’s an illicit drug poisoning crisis, not an opioid crisis. Words matter.
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Prescribed safer supply means I take a small amount of pharmaceutical opioid medication which prevents me from buying potentially lethal fake pills from a dealer. I take enough to curb cravings but not to incapacitate me. I work 30 hrs/week, take care of my home, dog, and garden.
The “people trying to help” are perpetuating addiction, despair, and death.
The question Pierre asked is critical, how many people have the so-called safe supply advocates gotten off drugs.
Real help is treatment and recovery.
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My best friend Travis would have been 38 today but instead he’s dead because of the shame associated with being addicted to drugs. In honour of him, I will be going ham on all stigmatizing and dehumanizing language I encounter.
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#anonymousSafeSupplyBoyf
had an aneurysm tonight and didn’t live through it.
RIP Andy Vandal 1973-2023.
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We’ve been preloading our straight pipes with these springs for our harm reduction smoke kits and now people are less likely to take a naloxone kit for the spring in the vanishing point syringe and people are stoked we have implemented and supported a popular local practice.
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Just a reminder that the cops used to also arrest people for opening safe injection sites and now public health™️ acts like they invented them.
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My dog who has worked in a several overdose prevention sites and housing programs for drug users and who likes to lick EVERYONE would like a word with you
@RyanMarino
@HappyWarriorP
Fentanyl is that powerful and dangerous, that a small dusting of Fentanyl on the clothing could make someone very ill or even kill them.
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@jlp8844
His post is… 🤯
If they are breathing, they are saved!!! You don’t need to pump them full of naloxone until the dope sickness wrenches them out of slumber
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Travis would have been 40 today but in 2020 he put himself in the ocean after a meth binge, like within a month of getting his MSW. Some people have really adverse reactions to drugs but all this fucked up dehumanizing rhetoric about drug users makes people afraid to seek help.
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everyone: "syringes are the worst!!! ew!!!"
public health: "ok we'll encourage a switch to smoking fent, which has virtually no risk of HIV transmission, by giving out reusable pipes, each one easily removing 20-100 syringes from circulation"
everyone: "no!! also bad!!!"
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@bluesparky666
@squishiebutt
@jendhana
But even during that time after he returned to using it and I was talking him down from intense delusions, even then he was a source of support at other times of the week, he proofread my papers, suggested additional resources/references, gave me advice, made me feel less alone.
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We lost a young kid in my community to drug poisoning last night. She was just 16. It’s just so fucking brutal and sad.
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One day you wake up and you’re 39 and you work at a harm reduction trailer with your pup inside Canada’s first legally protected encampment, which you helped make happen
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@AllisonRaskin
I was thinking about this earlier… also therapists should just not take on clients they don’t like because we will notice.
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@Evildrum13
I feel like most recovery facilities operate on a hazing model where residents must adhere to all rules whether arbitrary or useful or humiliating or not, and non adherence means you can’t join the frat of sobriety.
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Prince George peer-staffed overdose prevention site, almost ready to open
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Oops too many likes. I do community work amongst a wonderful group of current and former drug users in a cold northern town (
@UNDU250
) and if you want to help me spoil our member who is hospitalized and the staff working tonight send me money
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Someone I care about was literally housed YESTERDAY and he already seems a hundred times healthier. Give people housing!!
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A professor just told me that because of me he crosses out “opioid crisis” in student’s papers and writes in “not just opioids!”
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Standing up in actual public in Prince George and suggesting that people care about drug users dying was the scariest thing I ever did in my life and I don’t feel better for doing it
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Attn all municipal candidates everywhere: You know what would help people not shit on your doorstep? Public washrooms. And homes or suitable shelters for said people. You know what would help people avoid detox diarrhea? Increased access to OAT and prescribed safer supply.
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@bluesparky666
@squishiebutt
@jendhana
Also yes it was awful that he used a substance that sent him into psychosis and returned to it when very alienated, but there is a narrative—and I won’t deny that it isn’t true for some ppl—that addiction steals everything good from our loved ones and they are like parasites
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Me in 2017 when I saw prescription heroin instantly stabilize a resident I was constantly worried about
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This labour day, I would like to acknowledge all the social service workers especially peer workers who fill the gap left by lack of health, housing, and mental health services, who manage crises with compassion, reverse overdoses, and save lives all while making poverty wages.
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If you take away someone’s safe place to sleep, access to nutritious food, health care, love, etc because they use drugs, you can’t turn around and blame drugs entirely for how badly they are doing!!
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Oh not much just coming home full of grief after visiting my friend whose 17 yo died of drug poisoning thinking about how as a society we’d rather let children and humans of all age die rather than accept that we need a fundamental shift in how we view the drug poisoning crisis.
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Smoking cessation measures such as the patch, gum, inhaler all contain the psychoactive ingredient of cigarettes while in a different format. Now apply that intervention model to drugs.
When cigarette addicts were identified as a risk to themselves and others, all kinds of steps were taken to make people quit smoking. Why is that same philosophy not being applied to drug addicts?
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When people die responding to other emergencies, say a drowning, they are treated as heroes. When I was in the news for narcanning a guy while playing Pokémon Go, I was totally fine, and there were 100s of comments telling me it wasn’t worth the trouble to do that simple thing.
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If you knew teenage girls wired to fentanyl who did street-based sex work in the city of fucking Prince George the most violent place where many young women are killed, you would want doctors to prescribe them tested and consistent and free fentanyl.
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Y’all asked and y’all now receive: Why fentanyl smokers in Prince George put the springs from vanishing point syringes in their hooters
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@BlazedWitch314
“Get sober, be alone, you don’t have access to phone calls or the outside world at all for 30 days and we decide if that is extended based on urine tests and punishment and anyways yeah apparently masturbating warrants sudden eviction”
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If you think treatment will solve the toxic drug crisis, can you tell me about this magical treatment program you know of that has a zero percent relapse rate? We’re all dying to know about it (literally)
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Have you ever overused alcohol or used it to cope with a difficult time in your life? Should your punishment be that you and everyone else who enjoys alcohol has to purchase varying qualities of moonshine that might kill you? No? Then why do we do this for other substances?
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Despite everything, I’m no longer physically dependent on benzos and no longer a nightly user! Friday was my last .5mg dose of Valium after skipping Thursday. I’m proud of myself 😊
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If you can conceive that many people have a terrible destructive relationship with alcohol but society still has a right to consume alcohol safely, perhaps extend that logic to other substances.
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RIP to another human lost to the toxic drug supply who was loved by many people
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“Why don’t you just go to 12-step? It’s free and it works.”
It’s predicated on the concept that one must reach rock bottom before they quit or make improvements in their life. I don’t want to hit rock bottom. I’m 40. I don’t have time for that. Suboxone works for me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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One for one policies means that people will have to keep carrying around used syringes, instead of putting them in disposal boxes, which seems bad for paramedics, housing workers, other health care workers, etc.
One-for-one syringe exchange policies are predicated on the idea that they will reduce number of improperly disposed needles but there is much evidence to show that it is associated with higher injection risk (eg syringe sharing, bloodborne infections)
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“Why don’t these drug addicts work???”
Ok we’ll create low barrier work opportunities for people who need to build stability that will help keep our centre open and clean.
“No not like that!!!!!”
WAIT, this guy who was OVERDOSING on METH on a PUBLIC SIDEWALK works in/at the “overdose prevention society”???
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It is deeply unserious to expect sobriety before stable housing. Something that kept my addiction from spiraling out of control was that I remained housed, and I had a choice in housing (could live alone but am allowed to have guests because I am able to live in market housing).
@RyanMarino
I don’t know about “want to be unhoused” but loads of homeless ppl are unwilling to make behavioral changes or accept the conditions of housing.
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and those poor people you post passed out on social media holding a piece of foil? We want them to have privacy too. Safe supply can’t be smoked. Less than 10% of ppl in BC with OUD have ever accessed safe supply. Many scripts were only for two weeks too.
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The overdose prevention site I re-opened in April and work at? Saved the life of someone I really care about while I was on vacation. These sites aren’t abstractly good. They have measurable benefits. Support safe consumption sites in your neighbourhood!!!
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@NoahABurke
@anarchopisstake
@SaeedDiCaprio
Jk it’s cause I grant extensions for everything because frankly life is a hellscape and nothing matters.
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I beg of all shelters: Please end the policy of forcing people to leave during the day. It directly impedes on someone’s ability to make progress on housing or employment, makes them vulnerable to loitering tickets, and frankly this policy kills people.
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“Why do you date someone who uses safe supply?? Can’t you let go of the helper role??”
Um every morning he brings me a coffee to bed to drink while I review my emails etc and then he takes my dog out for walk and picks me flowers.
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Imagine if every time we saw someone drink we told them “wow what a waste of life” and that they are bad
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The way everyone is just dehumanizing drug users, taking examples of people in serious mental and physical health crisis, probably in a benzo blackout, and acting like those are immutable characteristics of anyone doing any drugs… you are making the problem worse.
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Hilariously I will basically live in the same thing I live in now but slightly more upscale and in a backyard in Victoria and not the woods in rural BC
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My friend was so surprised I voted in school board by election today despite in deep mourning. Well my nephew just came out as trans so I am deeply & personally invested in the results. Honour the dead and fight like hell for the living, right??
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The uncomfortable truth is that people hate drug users so much they’ll enact policies that are scientifically proven to raise health care costs and and anonymous accounts will be like “well we need to reduce the budget” when this is NOT reduce healthcare spending.
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As a suboxone patient myself, I don’t blame the subs. It was really bad, really sad timing. I share this even though I’ll get a million replies calling me and the man I loved worthless junkies but idc, you can’t argue with me that people aren’t *living* on prescribed safe supply
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If you can’t wrap your head around it, consider yourself lucky that your life experiences, current situations, or abilities don’t require illegal or stigmatized substances to feel normal, happy, functional, or productive.
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I love weed in stores and I’m saying that as someone whose livelihood used to depend on the illicit weed market—I used to be that cute-ass 23-year-old on a fixed gear in east van delivering 8ths in a coin envelopes. In this essay, I will explain why coke should be sold in stores.
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Just disclosed to a tinder date (dog walk) that I’m on suboxone just to get it out there and he was like “oh yeah I’m on sublocade” 🥰🥰
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Next, consider that the line between legal substances and illegal substances are not because of the inherent danger of those substances, but because of racist laws passed in the earlier parts of the 20th century and they are more dangerous now BECAUSE THEY ARE ILLEGAL.
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Anti-safe supply heads: “There’s no research showing that safe supply works.”
*DULF privately raises money to run a research project where participants can buy tested and predictable substances and QOL is measured against baseline*
Anti-safe supply heads: “No not like that”’
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Two mayoral candidates think that we will stop having the highest overdose death rates in the province if we tell drug users they’re bad more and take away all harm reduction services downtown.
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Overdose deaths way down in my region in the same month we re-opened the low barrier overdose prevention site ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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POLICE SHOULD NOT BE PULLING UP TO THE OVERDOSE PREVENTION BLOCK AND CONFISCATING BCCDC-PROVIDED PIPES THAT REDUCE DISEASE PREVENTION
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I thought using substances in public was bad?
A video of Vancouver Mayor Ken Sim at the Khatsahlano Street Party is going viral on social media this weekend. In the video, Sim is seen shotgunning a drink can with two other men on one of the event stages.
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It’s such a mindfuck transcribing my interviews w/ ppl on stimulant safe supply who have jobs, are involved in their communities and are interesting complex humans and then seeing the wider public and expert opinion that ppl on safe supply are not able to have productive lives.
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Harm reduction building I work in has been open less than three months. Someone has already gone to detox then moved into sober housing. What’s that about harm reduction “trapping people in addiction”?
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Has anyone else realized the irony of “rehabilitating” unhoused drug users to be industry workers when industry workers are the ones dying the most of overdose?
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Hi! I helped win that court case! By human right she means that in the ABSENCE of shelter (including daytime services) and housing, ppl have a right to not be shuffled around with all their belongings constantly thrown out. Try providing 24/7 shelters with OPS. Hope that helps!
The Federal Liberal Government has appointed a “housing advocate” who believes that living in an encampment run by gangsters and drug dealers is a human right.
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Six months ago I rolled up wildly dopesick to a shipping container tiny home in Victoria I had started paying the rent for ten days before I got there so I wouldn’t be homeless on my 40th birthday. Finally had my house warming today and Lomi brought me this cup!!! I love it.
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Here’s how easy it is to “quit drugs” in Prince George: you phone between four different clinics and beg one to take you, you get an appt early on a Tuesday to pee in a cup to prove you need to quit drugs, even if you just OD’d. They tell you to come back next Monday.
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Wow I really love this situation where benzo withdrawal can kill people and using street dope with benzos can also kill people and then someone trying to quit buys dope so you ask them to use in your dining room for safety and— (they’re ok)
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I’m on a six-month wait list to see a specialist who will put me on another wait list to get a surgery to remove a growth in my uterus that is more than half of the size of my uterus itself, in case anyone wanted to know how growth removal surgery is going for The Plebs in BC.
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Tonight I met Andy’s mom for the first time and she gave me this star blanket he was gifted in 2009 and I just wanted to share it with you all so here it is featuring Teddy.
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The language of "crack pipes" strategically creates a narrative that ignores that these pipes are actually used to smoke fent, an mode of consumptions that reduces injection-related injury and infection, and syringe waste.
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A week ago this evening I found Andy unresponsive in the living room and within six hours I was leaving the hospital as the sun was rising and he was dead, fully dead, and now it’s a new weekend and I don’t know what to do with myself tonight.
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Twitter be like: “What stigma, you piece of shit junkie loser?”
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“Tear down their tents! Force them into assisted living homes! Wait no, kick them out!! Why are they still using drugs so chaotically!!!”
There are growing calls for Island Health to remove hard-to-house and drug-addicted residents from long-term care homes.
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If I die of a drug poisoning death I forbid anyone to read from the bible at my funeral or say that my death was part of god’s plan. Just dump my body on the lawn of the Victoria legislature.
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