Summer Bulk
@JuliusIrvington
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Following
1,349
Media
9,751
Statuses
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what has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun
the Zone
Joined September 2009
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🐴 W I D E
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you may be old but are you 36?
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“was it the sweatpants” exciting new high utility punchline
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i hate when my divorce proceedings reveal that i’m cool as fuck
Amber Heard shows photos of Johnny Depp’s lunch- whisky and four lines of coke, then passed out on floor.
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wisely avoided mistakes like supporting the Iraq War and disparaging Britney Spears by tactically being in middle school during the early 2000s
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why would you pay $2000 dollars a month in rent when you could simply live with your parents and the only cost to you would be Daily Emotional Warfare?
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sometimes Taco Bell will put a tortilla, meat, cheese, and rice in a new interesting order and you gotta go check that out and see what’s goin on
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gonna tell on myself a little here:
it’s funny when people act like a bottle of wine is a lot to drink. it’s like four glasses of wine. what are you? a french child? grow up
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rough day for the “i like all music except rap and country” guys
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i am so envious of someone being allowed to be this cooked at their job and on camera with zero repercussions
Kamala Harris: "I Love Gen Z ... if someone is 18 years old today, they were born in 2005! Oh yeah, check that out. Think about that for a minute! Ha ha ha ha."
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my reason for getting out of bed every morning is “maybe something funny will happen” and i haven’t been disappointed a single time
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everyone should be on a little bit of mushrooms or a couple drinks deep at all times. feels like humanity figured this out ages ago and then nerds were like “no, we must trade stocks”
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one of the great male experiences is being sent by a woman to do something or pick something up and getting it 15% wrong
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this pregnant lady got her shirt off in the club pouring shots of breast milk. a man who we later learned is the father had to crawl to his car bc he was too drunk to walk. she said she hopes he dies because he wants to name the kid Dakota & she already has two sons named Dakota
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homeschoolers be like “the Divorce”
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this is a pressed perc30/roxy with mild moisturizer damage that 100% has fentanyl in it
just found a perc 30 in the work bathroom should i eat it
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[dming you] hey it seems like you are also a menace of some kind so you want to hang out?
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Osha Violation would be such a pretty name for a girl
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they should let Biden hit a dab pen then just send him out on stage and see what happens
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english majors be like “this pussy is unyielding and vivacious”
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imagine seeing your dad in an Aeropostal hoodie and even attempting to respect him for the rest of your life
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he looks like he’s in the middle of failing a field sobriety test
SEE IT: President Biden unusually strong today, shows off some vigor. WATCH
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Ok then, what’s one of the best. This is still one of my faves.
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looks like it was easier to automate the police force than we had anticipated
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[through tears] you have no idea how sweaty i can become
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growing your hair out is the strongest thing you can do as a man. this is why so many pro wrestlers have long hair. people often forget this. it’s literally in the bible. it’s about self-discipline. you have to talk yourself out of getting a haircut dozens of times
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women will invite you to shower with them then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed
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her: “it better be your first time hearing this if you think we fuckin”
me:
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Sisyphus no call no showed today so i have to cover his boulder shift
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[has 20 drinks and 1 hit of weed]
bro this weed got me fucked up
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GOD: tell them sodomy is a sin
GOD to GOD: put the male g-spot in the ass
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congratulations to Florence on uh going to work all year
Florence Pugh literally wrapped production on Midsommar, was on the Little Women set the very next day playing the polar opposite of her character in Midsommar and still turned in two of the best performances of the year. No one is doing it like her.
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i like dogs but they have to dial it back like 70%
what is an opinion you have about owning pets that will have you like this?
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the worst part of driving is looking up from your phone
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imagine having an insane bone-lengthening surgery straight out of the Dr. Spaceman playbook only to end up five foot nine
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the government needs to provide research grants to this man
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Michael Jordan is, arguably, one of the top fifteen, top twenty basketball players of all time
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nice use of the words “cracked” and “goated.” you’re turning 38 this year, right?
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wait did you say she was "thicc as hell boi" or "thicc as Hellboy"
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Sorry I favorited your tweet so fast. In my defense, I'm in love with you
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5mg? is this a prescription for a Jack Russel Terrier? give this to a Victorian child and they’d laugh in your face while knocking back a glass of whiskey mixed with milk and laudnum
taking adderall at the beach so i can focus on relaxing and having fun
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elderly people are, like, ADDICTED to falling down in the shower
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lot of people lauding this guy for recycling. and ok sure but i would counter: surely his regular routine produces, really, any other kind of recyclable container for his water
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this is like when you stand right in front of the microwave waiting for your food to cook
Pittie can't stop pushing her snout into her mom's pregnant belly ❤️️
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fuck this fucking sport so fucking much. I’m tryna hoop
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congratulations on jacking off to boobs and butts so much that you’re into feet now. we’re all proud of you
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black mirror episode where a guy subscribes to an OnlyFans and it’s just all candid footage of him
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i say this to help btw. i’ve always got narcan on me. big fan of having fun but be careful out there
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it’s fine to be an alcoholic as long as you don’t get fat
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