Julian Summerhayes
@JuSummerhayes
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Following
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. . . a simple man preparing for his death #die_wise #grief #loss
Devon, England
Joined May 2010
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Pinned Tweet
I've decided that I need to take a break from 'X' and all social media. I'm not sure when or if I'll return. I'll keep writing my weekly blog on WordPress but I need to dial down on my "activity". Take care everyone.
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@sajidjavid
Aren't you lucky? Some people have died, even when vaccinated or are still suffering with long Covid. And as to cowering ("to crouch, squat, or kneel") in the face of a virus, this language is more in keeping with some bellicose rhetoric as if we're at war. Get a grip please!
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Why are barristers so much better on Twitter than solicitors?
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I'd like to connect with all the Rebels in the legal space. By Rebels, I mean those who see law not through the 'loads-of-money' prism but being in service to a higher purpose. Know anyone?
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My birthday cake. Raw vegan cheesecake. Absolutely stunning.
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Google Pixel 6. Should I upgrade or keep with the Pixel 3XL which has been a superb phone.
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Social distancing doesn’t stop you saying good morning or the like does it? I’ve done it a few times on my walk and it’s more than people can do to look in my direction. Kindness and thoughtfulness isn’t banned.
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"Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things break & all things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world waits in darkness for the light that is you." —L.R. Knost
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I've heard it said many times that a company's greatest asset is its people. Does anyone really believe that?
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"There's a point, around the age of twenty, when you have to choose whether to be like everybody else the rest of your life, or to make a virtue of your peculiarities." —
Ursula K. Le Guin, The Dispossessed (Hainish Cycle,
#6
)
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16
58
“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.”
― John Lubbock, The Use Of Life
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“No one reaches out to you for compassion or empathy so you can teach them how to behave better. They reach out to us because they believe in our capacity to know our darkness well enough to sit in the dark with them.”
― Brené Brown
1
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53
"Solitude matters, and for some people, it's the air they breathe." — Susan Cain
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53
“The most common form of despair is not being who you are.”
― Søren Kierkegaard
3
10
50
Breaking my Twitter silence to share a picture of daughter
#2
who gets called to the Bar next week. This was her wig and gown fitting. Dig those shoes. Pupillage begins in September.
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I'm so f* proud of my wife. The day after her dad died, she secured a new job as a heart failure specialist nurse. Lots to learn -- a steep learning curve -- but given her 30 years of exp, her loving, caring approach to her work, I know it's the perfect role for her. Go Alli. xxx
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I know a lot has been done in the workplace to address well-being and mental health, but unless we address the structural issues - e.g. the volume of work, internal comms, leadership, management, listening - I fear we're only papering over the cracks.
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"Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity." — Pema Chödrön
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"The most regretful people on earth are those who felt the call to creative work, who felt their own creative power restive and uprising, and gave to it neither power nor time." — Mary Oliver
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43
RIP Brian. To the best father-in-law I could ever have asked for. You'll forever live in my heart. All our love ❤️.
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“People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own souls. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”
― Carl Jung, Psychology and Alchemy
0
9
39
“It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
we have come to our real work
and when we no longer know which way to go,
we have begun our real journey.
The mind that is not baffled is not employed.
The impeded stream is the one that sings.”
― Wendell Berry
3
9
40
Listening to someone is such an undervalued skill. I take my hat off to
@brigidrussell51
and
@charlie_psych
for all they've done over the past 12 months with the work they've been doing. If you're not following them both then you should.
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6
39
“We live in capitalism. Its power seems inescapable. So did the divine right of kings. Any human power can be resisted and changed by human beings. Resistance and change often begin in art, and very often in our art, the art of words.”
― Ursula K. Le Guin
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8
37
“People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don't find myself saying, "Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner." I don't try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds.”
― Carl R. Rogers, A Way of Being
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7
38
Can you be addicted to fountain pens? I've spent the last hour watching a video on the Parker 51 and can't believe the quality and beauty in a pen.
15
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"We live in capitalism. Its power seems inescapable. So did the divine right of kings. Any human power can be resisted and changed by human beings. Resistance and change often begin in art, and very often in our art, the art of words." — Ursula K. Le Guin
3
12
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“There are losses that rearrange the world. Deaths that change the way you see everything, grief that tears everything down. Pain that transports you to an entirely different universe, even while everyone else thinks nothing has really changed.” ― Megan Devine
3
10
37
My new role as lawyer manager (it's all about the people) is fully remote. That's what swung it for me & the lack of stuffiness. I'll do some fee earning (mostly in-house work) but most of the time I'll be supporting lawyers who want to deliver a great service to their clients.
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“The tree which moves some to tears of joy is in the eyes of others only a green thing that stands in the way. Some see nature all ridicule and deformity...and some scarce see nature at all. But to the eyes of the man of imagination, nature is imagination itself.” ― William Blake
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“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in.”
― haruki murakami
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I'm sure glad I got my walk in first thing. Right now, it feels like something biblical is on its way!
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Thinking about my wife today as she heads out to another shift on A&E. ♥️🙏
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Why are some people so uncomfortable with silence during Zoom/Teams calls? Personally, I'd like to spend at least a minute or two at the start and end of the calls to settle into and breathe our way out of the call before we jump into something else.
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One thing I can always look forward to: nature. And I realise, truly, how lucky I am to live in such an amazing place.
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“Because in the end, you won’t remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn. Climb that goddamn mountain.”
― Jack Kerouac
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31
Listening to the two young owls on my walk this morning was the perfect start to the day. I've yet to see them but just listening to their twit twoos grow stronger with each passing day makes me smile and feel the intense joy of nature.
1
5
33
Alfie is on the mend. He knows he's not allowed on the sofa but it's more than I can do to tell him off.
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“...and then, I have nature and art and poetry, and if that is not enough, what is enough?”
― Vincent Willem van Gogh
4
12
31
There is within each one of us a potential for goodness beyond our imagining; for giving which seeks no reward; for listening without judgment; for loving unconditionally. — Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
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“Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields...Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness.”
― Mary Oliver
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We have a new arrival — Eddie. A companion and (hopefully) best mate for Alfie. He’s eight weeks old and so everything tires him out.
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Imagine having to record every six minutes of your day to justify your existence! I don't miss the billable hour ONE LITTLE BIT.
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“The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.”
― Charles Bukowski
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“People are strange: They are constantly angered by trivial things, but on a major matter like totally wasting their lives, they hardly seem to notice.”
― Charles Bukowski
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8
31
This morning's one picture. It's a chilly start to the day.
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It would be nice once in a while if meetings started with the premise of “don’t know“ rather than trying to answer everything. Or even just sitting in silence for a few minutes to reflect on what the real question is that’s being asked. Again, what do I know?
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31
This morning's view from my little meditation bench (an old tree stump).
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31
“Whether we and our politicians know it or not, Nature is party to all our deals and decisions, and she has more votes, a longer memory, and a sterner sense of justice than we do.”
― Wendell Berry
2
10
28
Alfie, the sprocker, is off-colour. I fear the worst. He's off to the vets tomorrow but right now he can't walk and is feeling very sorry for himself. I love him dearly as does all the family.
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“And I speak of spiritual suffering! Of people seeing their talent, their work, their lives wasted. Of good minds submitting to stupid ones. Of strength and courage strangled by envy, greed for power, fear of change. Change is freedom, change is life”
― Ursula K. Le Guin
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7
30
“Do not forget that the value and interest of life is not so much to do conspicuous things...as to do ordinary things with the perception of their enormous value.”
― Pierre Teilhard De Chardin
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7
30
"The most regretful people on earth are those who felt the call to creative work, who felt their own creative power restive and uprising, and gave to it neither power nor time." —
Mary Oliver
3
5
28
I've been working for 41 years and I've seen no change in the playbook of command & control, hierarchy and fear-based policies. And these things are never explained to those people entering the workforce perhaps because they'd question the whole apparatus of education or more.
3
14
29
I love what
@brigidrussell51
says in her Tweets. I'm only sorry I can't respond in a more thoughtful and loving way. Also,
@charlie_psych
makes me think deeply about my beliefs. Please do follow them both. They're amazing people.
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0
29
"We're all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn't. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing." — Charles Bukowski
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6
28
Do we have an obligation to be OK all the time? I bloody hope note.
11
3
29
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." —
Friedrich Nietzsche
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5
30
So my daughter got a 1st. Well deserved and a super proud dad.
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Today's one picture. Gorgeous day and the light is ...stunning.
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“In an age of speed, I began to think nothing could be more invigorating than going slow. In an age of distraction, nothing can feel more luxurious than paying attention. And in an age of constant movement, nothing is more urgent than sitting still.”
― Pico Iyer
4
10
29
“You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
0
4
26
Our lack of elders and elderhood is coming home to roost.
2
4
30
“And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter— they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long.”
― Sylvia Plath
0
6
27
This was Floz eight years go when she first declared that she wanted to go the Ritz. This is her today aged 18 celebrating her birthday. An amazing, fun-loving daughter. xx❤️🎉
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“We’re in such a hurry most of the time we never get much chance to talk. The result is a kind of endless day-to-day shallowness, a monotony that leaves a person wondering years later where all the time went and sorry that it’s all gone. ”
― Robert M. Pirsig
5
7
29
To come home to yourself
May all that is unforgiven in you,
Be released.
May your fears yield
Their deepest tranquillities.
May all that is unlived in you,
Blossom into a future,
Graced with love.
-- John O'Donohue, Benedictus
1
6
29
“Perhaps home is not a place but simply an irrevocable condition.”
― James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room
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7
29
“The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands, and then work outward from there.”
― Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values
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6
29
“And when the work of grieving is done,
The wound of loss will heal
And you will have learned
To wean your eyes
From that gap in the air
And be able to enter the hearth
In your soul where your loved one
Has awaited your return
All the time.”
― John O'Donohue
3
5
29
"To be creative means to be in love with life. You can be creative only if you love life enough that you want to enhance its beauty, you want to bring a little more music to it, a little more poetry to it, a little more dance to it." — Osho
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“The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
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9
27