J
@JordanRowes
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Joined October 2013
Women being sad about their stomach then 5mins later.
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So there is people bringing a glass of coke to bed instead of water? Are you a fucking crackhead.
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My first born will see astro turf with cones laid out before he sees his mum.
🚨 Kylian Mbappé €700m salary at Al-Hilal for 1 season:. €58.33m a month. €13.3m a week. €1.9m a day. €79,900 an hour. €1,332 a minute. €22 per second
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Imagine growing up to see TikToks of your mum dancing next to you while you were fighting for your life.
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Do you know how crazy it is to rinse out your ketchup bottle, fill it with water then take it gym?.
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People that said this was gold were attention seekers.
We are all grown up now, can everyone just admit that this was black and blue?
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These man don’t age init.
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I’d evaporate on the spot if that leash slipped out of his hand 🤦🏽♂️.
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*minding your own business*. *just tryna watch the film*. Your girlfriend:
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Since when do burglar’s knock?.
this is Johnathan Ferrel. he was looking for help following a car accident earlier that morning. he knocked on a lady’s door asking for help, but she thought he was a burglar. the police were called and he was shot him 4 times. #BlackLivesMatter #SayTheirNames
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Between me and you. Your parents don't want you around next Christmas g
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ICT teacher: Can you get away from his screen and go back to yours. Me:
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Rubbing someones £1 coin on the side when it wouldn’t go in and thinking you was a mechanical engineer >.
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3 years into a relationship and you get a text “i need space” loooool lets sell some furniture then.
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Don’t let Philip Schofield coming out gay distract you from the fact he raised his voice at Jermery Corbyn and twerked for Katie Hopkins.
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Thats a wife. Mental health > anything else.
Presenter @Matthew_Wright spent Christmas alone, in the Caribbean, away from his wife and 11-month-old baby. And here's why.
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Hitler would lips this don.
Banging bod? ✅.Deep blue eyes? ✅.Heir to Cornwall's Lanhydrock estate? ✅.Ollie's ready to be Lord of the villa! #LoveIsland
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Saying “ur breath stinks” is the ultimate argument winner. They can’t even reply they gotta stop talking.
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So would I you're on 70k a week
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Girls and boxing is jokes they're only routing for whoevers penger.
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The guy came into the villa with no trim. What makes you think he was gonna obey the rules.
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When another teacher comes into class because the supply teacher ran out crying
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Ketchup on Chinese? Bet you lips your cousins at family events.
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When the Uber was £11 and your boy says i’ll just get you a jager bomb inside.
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Man rinsed the chicken under the tap seasoned it with oxygen and then tagged his mrs.
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Yes? sket
Two slices of pizza are the equivalent to swallowing 3 spoons of warm oil. Do you feel like eating pizza now?
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2012 the world should have ended.
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loool whos that guy that found out his girl was cheating and logged in to her UCAS and declined all her offers.
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Not financially providing for your 1 year old son and saying you have no money to give but going out every weekend and flying out to Malta is crazy. Court is waiting for you when you get back #DLTMalta
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My dad after eating the spaghetti bolognese that i made him in my year 7 food tech lesson
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Someone needs todo a documentary how how The Simpsons predict future. Its actually scary?.
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Moths really bully you into sitting in the darkness fucking bastards.
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“Boys who aren’t 6ft 🚩🚩” says the girl with size 9 feet. You’re mandem.
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You know the nice shark in Shark Tale? Tommy Fury is him.
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"opened 2m ago" ite cool lets see if you'll reply to the next snap of me pushing ur nan down stairs shall we?.
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Imagine its £150 per person you report outside. Police are gonna get tired of my voice.
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Dunno how some uni students live like this. No home training pure animals.
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When Power season 6 drops i’m terrorising the TL just like you lot did with your dragon show.
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9yrs? I’m chaining you to our fridge you can sit there and reflect.
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Mushrooms there is no way you can defend that shit.
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You finally take her Winter wonderland and one of the security says to her “Back again? You must really wanna win that teddy”
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8 year old me getting pissed off sholer.
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The real Justin Bieber is on Love Island because this one ain’t it.
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I was raised differently i’ll clear my table myself. Its not hard.
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What’s y’all’s favorite tweet of ALL TIME?.
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Putting “whos up👀” on your snapchat story? At ur big age? Just go sleep man.
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Kids that chewed their sleeves in school are either in prison or dead.
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Cover someones shift.
What is the strangest thing you’ve done for cash ?.
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Oi this was one of the funniest videos to ever appear on this app 😂
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They can download Zoom like everyone else had to. Lets not shift the goal posts.
Should we relax the 30-people limit for Prince Philip's funeral?. Around 800 people were expected to be on the invite list, but government guidelines mean that his funeral will be restricted to 30 attendees. Given he was our monarch's husband, should we make an exception?
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fresh trim and grey joggers. then watch all the common sense she thought she had fly out the window.
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“Take it back” sent me.
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Long distance relationship
This one girl at my uni is 6’2 and her man is 5’4😢.
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Was expecting a more therapeutic song but each to their own i guess.
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