Jonathan Meres
@JonathanMeres
Followers
6,357
Following
2,366
Media
6,249
Statuses
63,051
Mid-table children's author. Average actor. Grade 5 flute.
Everywhere and nowhere, baby.
Joined February 2011
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
الهلال
• 611764 Tweets
Butler
• 606074 Tweets
#KadınaVeÇocuğaDokunma
• 226999 Tweets
Macron
• 217043 Tweets
#turkishwomenneedhelp
• 141906 Tweets
Drew
• 73147 Tweets
#WWEBadBlood
• 69294 Tweets
ناصر
• 58651 Tweets
Carvajal
• 54641 Tweets
Phillies
• 51950 Tweets
Valverde
• 41151 Tweets
سالم
• 31802 Tweets
Vini
• 28252 Tweets
جيسوس
• 23720 Tweets
Iowa
• 22274 Tweets
الشوط الاول
• 21026 Tweets
Mizzou
• 20868 Tweets
Wheeler
• 18346 Tweets
Ohio State
• 17562 Tweets
الشوط الثاني
• 15343 Tweets
Handi
• 15288 Tweets
#BallandoConLeStelle
• 14044 Tweets
Vandy
• 12220 Tweets
Modric
• 11675 Tweets
Goldberg
• 11239 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
Updated the Author Visits page on my website. ‘A masterclass of revving up young children into a frenzy of excitement & laughter, then drawing them back in through the power of story-telling’ Head of Junior School, Dulwich College, Singapore
2
8
21
Can someone please at least acknowledge that he’s had a haircut otherwise he’s going to be an absolute nightmare.
1K
324
8K
I like Richard Ayoade. I find him very funny. He seems like a really nice guy. And I have no doubt that his first children’s book is excellent. But I’ve written about 45 children’s books and I’ve never once been invited onto The One Show.
103
168
3K
There are two types of people. Firstly, those who believe that libraries are an essential and integral part of a community and that everyone should have free access to books and information. And secondly, those who are wrong.
22
440
1K
Being diagnosed with prostate cancer, at the end of 2020, felt like the crappiest cherry on the worst cake ever. But then there are days like this.
198
2
907
Reckon I probably lose a couple of followers, each time I post a photo or video of my dog. Well guess what? I literally don’t care. He makes me happy.
56
6
669
Whereabouts are you, in the book you’re reading? I’m currently in 18th century Switzerland.
1K
77
671
Appointment with oncologist today. And, well...looks like you’ll have to put up with my feeble jokes and dog pics for a good while yet. Sorry about that.
99
0
648
If anyone’s looking for a last-minute lamb and/or Santa for their nativity play, we are currently still available.
16
18
651
I get it. I’ve listened. And I’ve reversed my decision to stop posting so many photos of my dog. Here is a photo of my dog.
24
22
614
Posting this photo of me and my mum again because she would have been 96 today and I still miss her.
51
7
605
I'd like to thank the drivers of every single mobile library van, that came to the villages where I lived, as a child. I can smell them now. The vans, not the drivers
#ThankALibraryWorker
10
86
531
It’s
#BookGiveaway
time again. For a chance to win a signed copy of
#ScaredyBat
tell me your mum’s maiden name, the name of your first pet & your DOB. I’m kidding. Just like & RT this tweet. Follow if you want but I wouldn’t bother. 3 winners picked 25.10.21
@littledoorbooks
🦇
86
481
539
Hello everyone. I’m home and my name is Pablo. But being this cute is awfully tiring.
36
16
482
1. Turn volume up.
2. Press play.
3. Be in awe of nature.
22
233
484
Can you believe I’ve actually lost some followers, since posting loads of puppy pics & vids? Seriously, who even *are* these people?
52
6
476
If you’d like a free signed copy of my brand-new picture book
#ScaredyBat
just like & RT this tweet. You can follow if you want but frankly I wouldn’t bother. I’ll pick 3 names at random although it might help if you suck up to me a bit. Closing date 6.9.21 OK? Gotta fly 🦇
98
389
468
Just received this. Which I will look at, the next time I’m feeling a bit sorry for myself, or doubting my abilities as a writer. Humbling, doesn’t even begin to describe it.
33
52
461
A year which began with the death of my dear old dad has ended with me blubbing my eyes out at the news that my eldest son has just got down on one knee, on a beach in East Lothian & asked his lovely girlfriend, to marry him. She said yes, by the way.
27
4
432
Was in a well known high street bookshop just now & got thoroughly depressed, watching parents & grandparents guiding children straight towards books written either by a certain famous dead author, or a certain famous living one. Guys. OTHER CHILDREN’S AUTHORS ARE AVAILABLE.
53
80
423
We live 1.5 miles from Murrayfield. Beyoncé was just a distant muffled thud. Harry Styles the same last weekend. Bruce Springsteen tonight? Could pretty much sing along with every word sat in the garden. Although if I knew every word I’d probably be there, not sat in the garden.
22
17
409
Seven months on from diagnosis I finally begin radiotherapy today. Each day I’m going to try and distract myself by focusing on a different image. Oh, who am I kidding? It’s going to be this one every single time.
64
8
390
Fellow children’s authors. If you’ve been feeling a bit worthless lately & questioning whether what you do, even matters anymore? Remember. We are story-manufacturers. Imagination-stokers. Future reader-generators. Worthless? I’d argue that we’re needed now, more than ever.
17
58
368
To mark publication of Jamie Oliver’s children’s book, I’m opening a Michelin-starred restaurant. Except someone else will be doing all the cooking.
15
47
354
Yo, I tell you what I don't want,
what I really really don't want,
don't wanna, don't wanna,
another celebrity children's book
taking up valuable space on supermarket shelves
at the expense of full-time non-celebrity authors
who largely depend on book sales to make a living.
10
44
361
Posted this before but I love this photo of me and my mum. We scattered some of her ashes here 43 years later.
21
4
359
Apologies to the hundreds of children I should have been talking to this week, but en route to an event on Tuesday, I learned that my amazing dad had died, suddenly & unexpectedly. He was 91, but he was still my dad. And if you’re lucky enough to have one, give him a hug from me.
91
12
356
Never apologise to an author, for finding a copy of one of their books, in a charity shop. It's a beautiful thing. It means it's been read. It's been loved. It's done its job. And now it's moving on. It's being rehomed. Time for someone else to love it. It lives on.
19
62
338
Quick tip to any children’s authors about to do their first school visits. If one of the questions is ‘how old are you?’ (and I guarantee it will be) don’t ever reply with ‘how old do you *think* I am?’
29
16
325
Just explained to Pablo, that the reason he isn’t getting so many likes, these days, is that he’s not the new pup on the block, anymore. He’s not happy.
26
0
316
Happy 4th birthday to this sweet boy. I love him so much.
24
4
314
Well that was pretty emotional. A virtual visit to a school in Kyiv that I was due to visit in-person in 2020. I ended by sending love & best wishes from every single children's author I know. Hope that wasn't too presumptuous of me but it just felt right.
29
13
290
If anyone had told me a few months ago, when I was at my heaviest and unfitter than I’d ever been, following treatment for cancer, that by the end of the year I’d lose 15kg and run my first ever
#ParkRun
I would have said they were absolutely crazy. And yet…
28
2
298
I’m not for one second suggesting that dogs are the solution to everything but I cannot even begin to imagine what life would have been like without this guy for the past couple of years
#WorldMentalHealthDay
16
13
272
March 2020 I was supposed to be doing an in-person author visit to a school in Kyiv. Got cancelled due to the pandemic. I've just been invited to do a virtual visit to the same school, now in various locations around Europe, in a couple of weeks time. I feel truly humbled.
11
8
261
Overheard man & woman, talking to each other.
Her: I don’t wear my glasses much, because they make me look like a librarian.
Me (to self): You say that, like it’s a bad thing.
Him: You’re not quiet enough to be a librarian.
Me (to self): You’ve not met many librarians.
13
47
245
My dad escaped from Poland, aged 13, in 1940. By the end of the war, he was a fighter pilot in the RAF, before working his backside off & paying taxes, until he was 78. Died last year, aged 91. I’m almost glad he’s not around, to see and hear what’s going on. Utterly disgraceful.
EU migrants have been able to “treat the UK as if it’s part of their own country” for too long, Boris Johnson said yesterday as he reprised the core message of Vote Leave’s 2016 EU referendum campaign.
5K
2K
2K
14
70
248
Personally I couldn't care less what Harry and Meghan do. Just as long as they don't write a children's book.
13
19
244
Today’s Facebook memory. One of these is the teddy bear I’ve had since I was two. The other is my dog.
10
6
243
It’s this wee guy’s first birthday. I love him so much.
35
2
237
Hope your weekends are as happy as me and my mum were, in this photograph.
13
4
223
Dear children's authors, who have been longlisted or shortlisted for an award. Congratulations. You're all amazing. And if you're a children's author who hasn't been longlisted or shortlisted for an award? Congratulations. Because you're amazing, too.
7
40
223
Congratulations to anyone with a new book out today - but especially fellow children’s authors. Because without us, authors of so-called ‘proper’ grown-up books wouldn’t have any readers.
3
29
218
Sorry I can’t come to the phone right now. Please leave a message after the boop.
7
10
219
I think we might have picked up the wrong dog, from the groomers. Interestingly, this one also answers to ‘Pablo.’
47
1
209
Just dropped this wee boy off at the vets for a routine operation that wee boy dogs have but even so I won’t stop thinking about him till he’s home again and that’s why I won’t be doing any work today I love him so much it’s actually ridiculous.
28
2
211
It’s my birthday. I am 8 squared. Will he still need me? Will I still feed him?
33
5
201
Son took a selfie on a paddle board from a drone. Kids today.
9
7
207
I’ve had a slightly, erm, challenging past couple of years what with one thing & another. Which is why today will be my last publication day for quite some time. So, from Pablo & I, to anyone who has liked, RTed or said something nice about the new book, thank you so much 🐶 x
12
5
197
20 years of every children's author smiling politely when someone says 'You never know, you might be the next JK Rowling'
#harrypotter20
7
41
190
Celebrating not only my last day of radiotherapy but the publication of
#ScaredyBat
my first picture book for 21 years. It’s also my last book for a little while so I’ll be banging on about it & RTing praise at every opportunity. Feel free to unfollow x
13
33
188
I have a book coming out in a couple of months. It won’t change the world. It won’t win any prizes or make the front cover of The Bookseller. Most people won’t even know it exists. But I’m so damn proud of it.
10
11
183
This is the last time I’ll be able to say this for a good while so I’m going to say it loud & I’m going to say it proud. HAPPY PUBLICATION DAY TO ME! Noodle the Doodle Wins the Day officially out today!
@BarringtonStoke
@KatyHalford1
#NoodleTheDoodle
🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶
35
33
183
It’s my 60th birthday, today. I would have mentioned it earlier, but I was busy, getting measured up, for my beige windcheater and matching slacks.
65
4
179
Dear photographers, just a gentle reminder, that whenever you’re taking a picture of kids pretending to read books, or kids all unfeasibly pretending to read the same book, other authors are available, apart from Dahl, Walliams & Mrs Rowling. Thanks. Love, the rest of us x
11
33
177
Here’s a pretty radical idea. For World Book Day this year, just read a book. And that’s it.
14
13
183
Never ever prefix ‘a children’s book,’ with the word, ‘just.’
3
44
171
Hello. This is the cover of my first picture book in 21 years, courtesy of the amazing Anders Frang. It will be published in August by
@littledoorbooks
It’s also my new pinned tweet.
19
44
176
We’re collecting this guy, tomorrow. Just got an email from my agent, saying that he mustn’t distract me from my writing, too much 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
23
2
175
Just told him I have a school visit this afternoon and that he can’t come with me.
11
8
173
How am I supposed to concentrate on driving, when every time I look in the rear view mirror, I see this?
6
4
166
There have been times, in the past couple of years, I thought I’d never write anything again. So I’m delighted to be able to say, that
#SpecialDelivery
is published today. Thanks to Hannah Coulson, for her wonderful illustrations & to the mighty
@BarringtonStoke
#LittleGems
19
24
162
‘Ears flapping and tail beginning to unfurl.’ That’s a 6 on the Beaufort Scale.
2
20
169
Thank you so much for your kind messages, following my wee announcement the other day. Please forgive me not replying to them. Find it a bit difficult. But they all mean a huge amount. Anyway here’s Pablo, reversing with a big stick x
10
4
171
As the author of a moderately successful series of 'funny MG books,' myself, I am heartily sick of seeing this genre being seen as somehow inferior to others. Don't put kids down, for reading them. At least they're reading *something.* Surely that's a good thing, right? Right.
23
26
164
Going through some old photos of Dad. That’s him on the right, Barcelona, 1943, 3 years after escaping from Poland, aged 13 & shortly before arriving in Britain to eventually become a fighter pilot in the RAF. Bloody foreigners, eh? They come over here. They take our jobs.
7
9
162
My Best Furry Friend is five today. I love him so much.
21
1
167
There was a time when he wasn’t even allowed on this sofa. And now look.
17
0
162
I personally don't think there are ten children's books that everyone *must* read. There are hundreds and hundreds out there that everyone *could* read. Some of them from this decade
#OtherAuthorsAreAvailable
5
14
160
Hi
@PastPostcard
No bleak existential message, on the back of this postcard of Sutton-on-Sea, from the mid-1960s, but see the little boy in the red coat and shorts, right in the middle? That’s me.
8
2
161
Not gonna lie. Was hoping for a few more likes & RTs, when I posted the cover of my next
#LittleGems
title, for
@BarringtonStoke
earlier. So here’s another picture of it, but this time, with Pablo. I’ve no idea why he’s laughing, by the way. It’s not particularly funny.
11
52
155
When a child asks how old you are, never reply with, ‘how old do you *think* I am?’
#AuthorVisitTips
20
4
154
Overwhelmed by all the kind words. Was extremely unsure whether to say anything, or not. There are plenty who’ve had a far worse 2020 than me. But then, I knew some of you would want to know. So thanks, everyone. Your support means a great deal. Rest assured, I’m in safe paws.
14
1
149
GOOD MORNING EVERYONE TODAY I HAVE MAINLY BEEN INTERPRETING BREXIT VIA THE MEDIUM OF CONTEMPORARY DANCE LOVE FROM PABLO 🐾
5
12
147
Hands up if you think there should be maps in all books and not just children’s?
18
3
155
Like a billion other authors, I have a new book out today. Mine is called Noodle the Doodle. Illustrations by the fantastic
@KatyHalford1
& published by the groundbreaking
@BarringtonStoke
Here is a photo of my dog reading it. Thank you for not scrolling past this tweet.
26
33
145
GOOD MORNING EVERYBODY I’M POSTING THIS WITHOUT COMMENT BECAUSE I’M JUST TOO HANDSOME LOVE FROM PABLO 🐾
4
7
144
To those still clinging resolutely to the wreckage of the good ship Twitter before it finally disappears beneath the waves, Pablo and I would like to wish you a very good morning.
14
1
148
9yo just came home in tears saying other children were mean about his painting so am posting it here to see what you guys think because I think it’s really good but mainly just because I want loads of likes.
21
3
147
Well it’s been a nice quiet news day so far, so here’s another vid of the new pup.
15
6
146
Don't suppose anyone would be interested in seeing the cover of my next
@BarringtonStoke
book, would they? Maybe sometime next week? What if I told you that it features a dog? A dog who might look vaguely familiar, to regular listeners? Let me know & I'll see what I can do.
23
6
137
Fancy getting your paws on a free, personally signed copy of my new book Noodle the Doodle Wins the Day? Just like this tweet. 5 winners plucked out of an imaginary hat, 01.08.22 Sorry but UK & Ireland only. RTs appreciated
@BarringtonStoke
@KatyHalford1
#NoodleTheDoodle
🐶🐶🐶🐶
15
108
147
In light of the announcement about the latest celebrity children’s author, to sign a 7-book deal, I have decided to go on strike. I will not be writing another word, until publishers stop this nonsense and come to their senses. That’ll show them.
18
10
141
Guess which grinning, bearded, dog-loving idiot has just discovered he can finally fit back into a shedload of clothes he hasn’t been able to wear for almost three years, after piling on cancer-treatment-related weight? Shall I give you a clue?
17
0
145
After one of my workshops today, librarian asked children to say what they’d enjoyed about my visit. One (10yo) boy stood up and said ‘I really liked your personality.’ Honestly one of the nicest things anyone’s ever said to me.
6
6
148
Looking forward to the Toby Jones TV drama about the scandal of celebrities stealing a living from genuine children’s authors who actually do it as a job and who don’t have any other sources of income.
8
18
141