Jonathan Eley
@JonathanEley
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Longform editor @FT Before that retail, @FTLex , @FTMoney and @ichronicle Views and errors my own
Saarfend innit
Joined March 2011
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UKIP now has zero MPs. And to think Cameron called a referendum on a matter of huge importance to placate this shower.
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Hilarious watching
@piersmorgan
skewering
@nadhimzahawi
over why UK doesn’t insist on negative Covid tests on arrival as dozens of other countries have done for months
“You left the borders wide open”
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This, from Rachel Reeves' Mais lecture, is absolutely spot on. Meanwhile the architect of this economically illiterate batshit swans round earning millions from podcasts, directorships
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Boris: Rishi, can you find another way to shaft young people and get more money out of them in the future to pay for largesse for other target groups today?
Rishi: Coming right up boss
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To think we went through the agonies of Brexit to stop this happening...and now it's happening anyway
BREAKING
Sources close to the Reform
UK Party tell me that as many as nine Conservative MPs are in advanced talks to join the Reform UK party.
More at
@GBNEWS
now.
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Emma "measured risks carefully"?
By having huge over-concentration of her personal wealth in a single illiquid asset class, and adding a generous dollop of leverage to boot??
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MEPs are paid in euros. So Farage and his fellow bar brawlers are £12,500/yr better off thanks to £ slide they caused. Elites, anyone?!
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Bizarre. Dave Grohl tells crowd about past
#Reading2019
appearances. Just when you think he's going to take a (v rare) dip into Nirvana catalogue he brings on...Rick Astley!!!
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EXCLUSIVE: Boohoo is set to acquire the Debenhams brand in a deal that will resemble the online retailer's previous swoops on Karen Millen and Oasis
Does not include the stores, sad but probably not surprising news for the 10,000+ people who still work there
Story up soon
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"We saved Europe in the war mate".
Please, someone - tell him the war in question ended 74 years ago. It's a total irrelevance
Wanna see nationalism in its purest form?
In the full version, the woman at the end is the kind of Brexit voter I'm fighting for:
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The most amazing thing about this piece is the wasted time:
Another 3 weeks of this ridiculous Tory pissing contest
Followed by 6 weeks of summer recess
A week back, then 3 weeks of party conferences
By the time they're over, there'll be 5 weeks left before we leave
No honeymoon period, only baptism of fire: How Johnson's first weeks could play out
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UK got more Marshall aid than any other European country. Alas we wasted it
Sorry if that interferes with your fact-free narrative, you ignoramus
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@IanDunt
These are the same people that park in disabled bays, break speed limits, cycle on pavements, put feet on train seats, don't clear up their dogs' shit etc
And apparently the rest of us are to "rely on their common sense"....
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Ignore the Cummings noise. This is what should be trending
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@jeremycorbyn
The best deal with Europe is the one we already have. Everything else is damage limitation
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Ironic that, for all Theresa May's pleadings to Trump. Bombardier jobs in N Ireland will be saved by Airbus - an EU project
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ONS labour market data out today. Private sector pay up 7.2% over past year vs public sector up 1.5%
But public sector unions are "greedy" and clapping for heroes feels a long, long time ago...
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@naomi_rovnick
All that healthy living rhetoric doesn't apply to poor people I guess. Apart from the eggs, it's a protein-free zone. And what's with the ketchup and mayo sachets??
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Idea that there are two strains of euroscepticism: one frets about technical stuff like the contradictions of the single currency, the other just wants blue passports and Spitfires over the White Cliffs. Interesting thesis
You can predict the next action of Boris Johnson quite easily. Simply imagine the approach which would show the least moral, intellectual or political comprehension and that is the one he will follow
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Dear Facebook, the future king of the UK thinks you need to do better. A lot better
No parent should ever have to endure what Ian Russell and his family have been through. They have been so incredibly brave. Online safety for our children and young people needs to be a prerequisite, not an afterthought. W
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Because, as the Arctic Monkeys would put it, “he’s a scumbag don’t you know”…
Boris Johnson, 25 May 2022: "I want to begin by renewing my apology to the House and to the whole country...I take full responsibility for everything that took place on my watch"
Boris Johnson, 2 days later: Rewrites ministerial code so you don't have to resign if you break it
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Personal news: I've moved to an editing role at the
@FT
after (unbelievably) 4.5 years on retail
One last day of trading statements tomorrow!
New retail correspondent will be appointed soon.
@Arjunneilalim
is holding the fort in the meantime
Thanks for all the help tweeps!
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It's about time that a bunch of old white male MPs who talk about "nooses", "hot knives" and "assassinations" chose candidates for PM. Then got 100,000 pensioners to vote for one of them. This is democracy! The will of the people!
After two and a half years of nationwide chaos & confusion caused by Conservative infighting, the Conservatives have decided to do some more infighting.
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July 11: Theresa May says govt will block takeovers of key UK firms
July 18: Govt welcomes takeover of Arm, UK's most important tech company
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Leasehold is shit. End of. Move abroad (or failing that, to Scotland) rather than buy a leasehold flat
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Brits want to pay US taxes but receive European public services. No politician dares tell them the sums simply don't add up
An 80-seat majority ought to encourage a more honest discussion of the trade offs. But it doesn't via
@jameskirkup
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Slightly amazing to think that this time last year the BoE was busy scrapping the mortgage stress test, which obliged lenders to test affordability in the event of, er, a rapid rise in interest rates
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Convenience store McColl's warns on profits due to disruption caused by HGV driver shortage
"If [these challenges] do not materially improve in the second half, FY performance is likely to fall short of management expectations"
Is the first explicit HGV profit warning?
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Quite a year, was 2006:
- Boohoo was founded and registered as "Wasabi Frog"
- Asos annual revenue reached a princely £19.7m
- Debenhams returned to the stock market with a £1.7bn valuation
- Philip Green was knighted for services to the retail industry
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@PickardJE
Other headlines in Bild Zeitung today:
"Our lives are shit" say couple who won €50k in TV show and have spent it all
Man builds pirate ship in Dortmund garden
Female cyclist sacked after publishing naked photos
Chief doctor talks about deadly sex night
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Imagine having to sell the flats in this swanky new-build...
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Dear
@rightmove
and
@Zoopla
can you please add freehold/leasehold to your filters?
I want to buy an actual property, not a time-limited right to occupy one
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This was 25 days ago. Today, Gove says we should work from home if possible
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@irushforth
@pmdfoster
@HideColin
Getting harder to avoid impression that this is the objective
Govt doesn't want us immersing ourselves in other cultures or social/political ideas
It wants an inward-looking populace waving blue passports, droning on about a war that ended over 70 years ago and voting Tory
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Interesting table in Jefferies note. Suggests that Tesco and Sainsbury's added slot capacity equivalent to more than the whole of Ocado - in about six weeks
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@PickardJE
Go to Tate Britain - world's biggest collection of his works there. He was prolific. And it's free
Though my favourite (the ghostly Temeraire being towed up the Thames to be scrapped, sunset symbolising the end of sail) is in the National...
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Actually due to UK red tape, but don't bother with facts etc....
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M&S will now close stores on Boxing Day to allow staff time off. Home Bargains had already announced similar
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Why does every phone call to any public or private body entail listening to up to five minutes of recorded claptrap about all the things that can be done online?
IF YOUR WEBSITE WORKED PROPERLY I WOULDN'T BE RINGING YOU!!!
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Liz Truss wants better access to Japanese market for Stilton cheese (exports of which total a princely £100k a year) so she can say we got a better deal than the EU
Is this actually real?
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This many jobs are lost in retail every 18 days. But since most of them are relatively low-paid women, no-one in Westminster is tweeting about it
Honda has confirmed 3,500 jobs will be lost with the closure of its Swindon factory . Unless the Govt. grant a
#PeoplesVote
, this is the
#BrexitReality
workers across the UK face. There is no
#Brexit
dividend. Businesses & jobs will suffer
#BollockstoBrexit
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Asos says that moving to WTO tariffs at end of Brexit transition period would add £25m to costs. One of very few retailers (Next only other one I can think of) to actually put a number out there for tariff impact
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Germans have been dimming lights and making swimming pools cooler since the summer
But in the country with some of the worst-insulated housing in Europe, a public info campaign to save energy and money is blocked because it undermines the PM's glorious exceptionalism narrative
Exclusive:
No 10 has blocked a public information campaign encouraging people to save energy
Jacob Rees-Mogg signed off plans for campaign with potential £15m budget in recent days
No 10 rejected it today amid claims Truss is ideologically opposed
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@Savvy_Catherine
The issue for me is this underlying assumption that house prices will always rise in real terms and that interest rates will remain where you'd like them to
Of course they did for a long time. Until they didn't!
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The head of sixth form at my daughter's old school has just posted on Facebook about the A-level results
He is a brilliant teacher and an inspirational head who was/is adored by students. He is worth listening to. 1/5
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Me on UK housing for
@ft
1) there is no shortage of homes
2) high prices caused by credit explosion and feudal land system
3) successive govts too gutless to reform
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English kids will be taught finance from next week, thanks to
@MartinSLewis
@TraceyBleakley
@LilyLapenna
@JTomlinsonMP
and others
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Shock revelation on M&S call: Percy Pigs are made in Germany!
Percy Schweine!
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Yes perils of home working chapter XVI - kids pounce on unattended laptop and amuse themselves at my expense...
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50,000 expressions of interest
6,000 interviews
150 positions actually taken up
If you can't or won't pick fruit or vegetables, don't complain when farms employ migrants to do it instead
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@keithhann
@thetimes
And that’s one of those errors that a spellchecker won’t pick up since the sentence is at once grammatically right and yet staggeringly wrong!
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@Gilesyb
@jburnmurdoch
It is not a hypothesis at all. My wife has been chronically ill for more than a decade. When it comes to non-acute conditions the NHS is an unspeakable disaster, a complete national disgrace
Over that time her "care" has ranged from merely inadequate to the positively sadistic
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True to form
Tax future generations so the luckiest generation ever doesn’t have to sell its precious bloody houses
Anyone under 40 who votes Tory really should be sectioned
EXCLUSIVE: PM and Chancellor "almost there" on manifesto-busting hike to National Insurance Contributions - of at least 1% - to pay for Social Care blackhole.
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Yay! My younger daughter Lauren is off to
@LivUni
in October!
So proud of her after all the disruption and uncertainty of the past two years
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@PickardJE
Borrow £100k and if they stick to the deal you'll repay £171k over 40 years. By the end of a standard 25-year mortgage term you'll have over half still to pay
But stretching low monthly payments over a long time is still easier than fixing the housing market...
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"We hold all the cards", episode XVII: the Australia trade deal
Remember this is the only actual new one we have signed, as opposed to rolling over existing EU deal
And what a great job we did
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Switzerland has abandoned traditional neutrality and adopted EU sanctions package. Unprecedented. Bet Putin and his oligarch mates weren't expecting that...
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My immunosuppressed wife just ventured to a supermarket for the first time in two months.
Purpose of trip: acquisition of gin
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Around 18 months ago my daughter had a party widely remembered as legendary
Every time I turn over the flower beds I find more mementoes of the event
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@BBCLookNorth
On an average day it's probably quicker to get to central London from Doncaster than it is from Gatwick...
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Whatever the rights and wrongs of the parliamentary manoeuvring, I just cannot stomach Johnson's assertion that this is all about the domestic agenda. It so obviously isn't. He seems to enjoy treating people like idiots
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The difference between percentage and percentage point - it's not just semantics
Another common mistake: if something falls by (say) 50% and then rises by 50%, it's back to where it started. NO IT ISN'T!
National Insurance is not rising by 1.25%.
National Insurance is rising by 1.25 PERCENTAGE POINTS.
For the vast majority, that means going up from 12% to 13.25%, which is more than a 10% rise.
Got that? Your taxes are rising by 10%. This is a 10% tax hike.
10. Not 1.25.
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@PickardJE
Are they by any chance the same people who said the EU was "stopping us reducing VAT" and now we're out refuse to axe VAT on domestic energy bills?
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Nice quote from (former Sun editor)
@davidyelland
in this
@FT
big read on the week's events:
"The BBC has to transact its day-to-day business surrounded by a circular firing squad of rightwing newspapers"
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Our farewell to EU dinner: French wine, Belgian beer, Spanish patatas and meats, Dutch cheese and Greek olives. Plus pizza of course
And an Irish greeting: stick Brexit in yer feckin’ hole!
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@Robert___Harris
@MrsVickiDay
Indeed one of the reasons UK cracked codes so successfully and Germans didn’t was because they’d sent non-conformists of all types to concentration camps
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@sarahoconnor_
Football pitches, natural serotonin and ticketless trams
Our lives will be transformed!
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@vanmaneuro
The point of Brexit was to end to the Tory party's psychodrama over Europe and stop voters/MPs defecting to Farage
Even on that level it hasn't worked. Tories now slagging each other over "wrong kind of Brexit", "not the Brexit I voted for" etc
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@IWRehman
@PickardJE
They should fish the bronze statue of Colston out the Avon, melt it down and make it into one of Stephenson. Swords into ploughshares etc
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Will be opening a bottle later on...21 years of wedded bliss!
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@Gilesyb
Has anyone mentioned the NHS IT project in the early 2000s? iSoft, Torex et al?
At least this is nice to look at!
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The government doesn't believe in young people. It thinks that grade inflation and the sanctity of A-levels are more important
In a year when everything's been turned upside down, it won't cut 300,000 teens a bit of slack
How incredibly mean-spirited and small-minded 5/5
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@jburnmurdoch
@FT
Fascinating thread
I bet a lot of this relates to chronic conditions. Private health insurance doesn’t usually cover them and the NHS isn’t interested until you’re at death’s door
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Key trend emerging from Christmas updates:
Less stock is good. People will pay up for whatever you've got. Availability more important than choice
Result is less stock into markdown and better gross margin. Seen it at Next, JD, Sainsbury, Dunelm and expect more of it tomorrow
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Accounts filed for
@homebargains
at CH.
Mad fact 1: the purveyor of Haribo and Halloween clobber made more profit last year than Harrods.
Mad fact 2: fortune of founding Morris family is now more than Mike Ashley and Philip Green combined
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@PickardJE
@GeorgeWParker
His majority is 27k while plenty of red wall seats are a lot more marginal than that
Doesn't really matter anyway, though. Many provincial high streets will still be tumbleweedy in five years - they'll just have nicer flower pots and prettier lighting
No-one is fooled
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@BarristerSecret
@nerysinchina
Shared a holiday home in 2014 with a barrister. He had to return home after three days to take a legal aid case on which he would make little money after fees to chambers
Before he went, he turned the air blue with his assessment of Chris Grayling's tenure as Justice Sec...
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@bbcnickrobinson
@BBCr4today
@jeremycorbyn
Experience of past few years suggests it is noise, not facts or policies, that win elections!
#GE2017
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People laughed at Corbyn when he talked about buses at PMQs. But IMHO the deregulation of buses was the worse thing Thatcher ever did
Massively accelerated the hollowing out of town centres and caused a huge rise in car dependence
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@Peston
@nickmacpherson2
"We send £350m a week to Brussels...let's send it to Belfast instead!"
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Say they earn £30k a year each. That would be £1.5bn a year total. Best knock £28m off that £350m a week...
Good job news:
@michaelgove
says he is looking at setting up a "customs agent academy" to help business recruit the estimated 50,000 staff needed to fill in post-Brexit trade forms
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The actual price cap from 1 October is:
52p/kWh + 46p/day standing charge for electricity
15p/kWh + 28p per day for gas
Multiply that by your own usage. Make sure you are sitting down first
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Wife currently at a hospital in Spain getting an injured ankle looked at. This is the local A&E
No bloodstains on the floor. No crackheads puking into cardboard bowls. No-one being marched out in handcuffs by the police
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This is indeed an absolute red herring
The real "privatisation" is the running down of the service to the point where anyone who can afford it, and has an actual life to get on with, pays to go private
Leaving NHS as a last-resort, ER-type service
The Tories have been in charge of the NHS for almost 50 years of its 76-year existence. Tell me what health resources/facilities they’ve sold off to anybody in that time, never mind US insurance companies. It’s this sort of nonsense that gets in the way of a proper debate about
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I never imagined this would end any other way
Measures to improve tenant protection are also being gutted by landlord Tory MPs
[Though tbf for a lot of leaseholders, outlandish service charges and forfeiture are bigger issues than ground rent]
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@JohnJCrace
I pay over £300 a year for my daughter to travel to school on a terrible service run by a German-owned company that transparently doesn't give a Scheisse about its "customers". I'm glad he's raised the issue. As are many others outside zones 1-6
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@PSMcClean
Of course old people never, ever vote for narrow self-interest and sod everyone else
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Tesco colour: 10% of customers bought 30% of merchandise during panic buying spree. Mostly in the southeast. The "I'm alright Jack" brigade
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John Lewis to cease publishing weekly trading figures with effect from, er, now. Cites new partnership reporting structure as reason. The fact that the figures have been dismal for months must be a coincidence
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@AndrewBloch
@OllieHThomas
"Sorry we missed you. There's a syringe and a vial behind the plant pot"
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@mrjamesob
@McDermottQC
I do hope Chris Whitty is keeping a diary
A suitably revealing “Journal of the Plague Year” would surely fly off the shelves
(Preferably just before the 2024 election...)
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