tokouso
@Johnny_Valenz
Followers
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Following
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Media
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Sāmoan. Tongan. Beyoncé.
Manhattan, NY
Joined May 2010
Huge hug to the old Johnny. You’re doing so well, buddy. Oct 2020. Oct 2021.
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“I want a big boy”. Hey ther-. “Not you, fatso”. - all of yall lyin on here bout wanting a big boy to squish ya.
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“I like your beard”. Okay lemme glide it along your hole then tf.
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“Can you make rice? YOURE THE BEST at making rice, no one can do it like you.” . - me lying to my siblings/cousins/nieces/nephews so that I don’t have to make rice.
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A handsome fella just held a door open for me and when I said “Aw thanks!” He replied with a wink and said “no problem handsome” and now I’m gonna think about this moment for 7 months.
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What’s that picture that makes you say “wow, I’m so pretty!!” . 👀👀.
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Met some Samoans in the city last night. I love finding us. However, we all bar hopped and ended up meeting another Samoan girl. I was like “you Samoan?” She looked me up and down said “yeh” and I was like “yay! So am I!” And she said “and?” And I said “oh. and you’re a bitch”.
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I don’t got abs. I don’t got the best skin. I have gaps in my smile. I have curves on my curves. And so much more thats not conventionally attractive but I’m kind. I’m loving. I’m funny. And I’m a catch. I won’t let anyone make me feel like I’m not good enough for them.
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✨
ight if you got a pretty face post it.
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“Are you Samoan?”. “Yeah”. “I went to school with Samoans”. OH THANK YOU FOR THAT INFORMATION THATS GONNA HELP ME SAVE THE WORLD .“That’s wussup”.
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Aquarius, baby
Define handsome ass Air Sign men. “Aquarius, Libra, Gemini”’.
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hooray for change! also, im not smiling in the gym pic cus I was tryna serve a lewk for the daddies in the gym.
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If your AAPI event only has AA’s, don’t call it an AAPI event.
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Doppelgänger 🔥😮💨.
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That non-Samoan man with our sacred markings on his body displaying it on Playboy had this to say in response to the backlash from our community, “Only mad at me cus I look better than you in yo own shit” The fuckin disrespect.
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I'm Samoan, but not lava lava-around-my-neck-carrying-a-ukulele-everywhere Samoan.
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There’s this fool on IG that’s always saying shit like, “People don’t ever think I’m Polynesian cus I’m so light skinned” “I don’t look Polynesian but I’m okay with that” but. you DO look Poly, head to toe. What’s so wrong with looking Poly? The delusion and self-hate, honey.
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Met a guy tonight who said he loves Samoans and I was like boy bye I’m not a fetish lol jk I totally hooked up.
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Just because I’m a Polynesian cis male with broad shoulders and exteme upper body strength doesn’t mean I’m assumably willing to offer help with manual labored tasks you weak micro-aggressive ass bitch.
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Bf ordered pizza. Me: There’s only one box of pizza here. Bf: it’s just me and you. Me: bitch. Have you seen me and you?.
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“Deena’s beautiful and she’s always been beautiful BUT I GOT THE VOICE CURTIS I GOT THE VOICE!” .happy birthday my beautiful uso @alonafide
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My people, my people 🔥😮💨.
Happy Samoan Language Week 🇼🇸 .
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The “AAPI” celebration section on Apple Music has one PI artist. Yall not even trying. AA’s, this yall month. My fellow Pasifika, let’s beat everyone up.
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Never EVER thought I'd be interested in Coachella, but gotta support my girl.2017 got me actin brand new. #weekend2
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Thank you everyone for sharing the post about our dear Chynna. It meant the world.
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I just met the most beautiful Sāmoan man I have ever seen. Hella tall with long fluffy hair. He had an interview and I walked by like “sup, uce” and he BIG smiled and said “aye uso” and we did the handshake hug and girl he smelled like Pantene ProV conditioner. We in love.
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watched my brother, Nathan, and Chynna stick by each other’s side since we were kids. I am completely heartbroken. We love you, Chynna 😔
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And I walked away like ew, we don’t all gotta like each other sure but ugh, I’m just tryna unite us since there ain’t many of us in the city. later she came and was like “I thought you were hitting on me 🤪” hey, aikae. I’m not interested in knowing you any more. And I suck dick.
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Quote this if you’re bearded up 🤙🏾
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I can come off pretty excited and strong when I meet people especially Pasefika. I’m also a big tall brown man so I try to “soften” my voice when I meet ladies just so they’re not thinking I’m some huge creep. But she was so mean so quick. Anyway. I still love us, k bye.
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If you don’t like a beard caressing ya butthole, them mf’s was doin it wrong. Come, let papa show ya. Johnny, it’s 8am. log off.
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My siblings are my best friends. If any of them don’t like you whether you’re an outsider, cousin, Aunty, uncle, whoever the fuck, WE dont like you.
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Anyone:. An obviously full blooded Samoan: I’m half German 🇩🇪 🤘🏾👅.
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I faked having asthma during recess because I couldn't catch anyone during "Tag" and the ambulance came and my mom punched my face. Gold.
In 140 characters, quote this tweet and describe your MOST embarrassing childhood memory. Lol.
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this fellow Samoan tells me the way I pronounce my first language in the song I wrote is. cringe. I wrote the song and performed it the way I envisioned it. Sorry the technicalities of my pronunciation weren’t to your liking. But I showed my culture the way I wanted. fuck off.
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I save and bookmark so many workout and diet tips and never go back and look at them.
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Most of the down low poly guys I’ve messed around with all had wives/girlfriends and some of them ladies follow me on here
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I was tryna fish for a compliment from my work crush and I was like “ugh I look a mess today” and he goes “yeah you look crazy bro” 🥲.
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This Halloween, we walked a mile in heels to bring awareness to domestic violence and also in honor of our dear Chynna❣️Thank you to Heels 2 Heal and Kava Talks for this beautiful event. We love you, Chynna!
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I’ve been writing/recording a Samoan song for the past couple months and I just finished the final touches and damn. It was way harder than I thought. It’s not your traditional siva pese either. I hope my people like it. Cus I love it.
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The fact that I am only 4 awards away from EGOT status is wild and inspiring 🫦.
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The girls been wildin lately. First they wanna fuck their brother. Then they be fightin in the streets with their cute kete’s out. And now the ugly ones are mad cus women are expressing themselves freely. So fun! Tune in next week for more.
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If any of y’all got a Tongan bf who visiting Vegas for the weekend. He cheated on you with some freaky bitch. Wasn’t me tho.
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I don’t ever get serious on twitter cus most of y’all can’t even read aloud properly so I ain’t pressed bout what y’all talkin bout, but damn y’all extra dumb lately.
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