John Romaniello
@JohnRomaniello
Followers
27,815
Following
118
Media
371
Statuses
13,075
advisor, author, and typewriter enthusiast. I teach people how to find and refine their writing voice. ranked #3 in the world in snuggling.
NYC
Joined August 2009
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Pinned Tweet
I disagree with what you say, but defend to the death your right to say it.
Unless you fuck up you're vs your, in which case burn in hell.
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unhappy with your life? you have 3 choices: end it, change it, or endure it. I don't actually care which you pick, just stop complaining.
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what do you get when
@tferriss
interviews
@Schwarzenegger
? A podcast so awesome it'll give your boner a boner. LISTEN
http://t.co/ALIxabMr3C
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I'll do it, but you'll have to pay me in snuggles.
Seriously considering hiring someone to follow us around and slap unhealthy food out of our hands
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Email is the price we pay for the greatness of the Internet.
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Most of life isn't weddings or funerals, feast or famine, drought or deluge. Most of life is fairly boring; a parade of Tuesdays numbly blurring together—punctuated, occasionally, with tragedy or ecstasy. The secret is to find the people you want to spend your Tuesdays with.
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Pro tip: hang out with people who are crushing life so hard you feel guilty going to bed before them.
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Watching a movie seems like such a big commitment compared to watching 9 hours of a tv show.
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I'd rather choke to death biting off more than I can chew than suffer through the spiritual starvation that accompanies accepting mediocrity
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"What matters most is how well you walk through the fire." –Bukowski
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“A person’s success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.”
@tferriss
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If the *only* thing you accomplish today is NOT starting a fucking podcast, you will have made the world better place.
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thoughts on clubs: why would I willingly go to a place that is too dark and loud for people to appreciate how good looking and clever I am?
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Meathead math: the ability to add and subtract exclusively in 45- and 90-pound increments.
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In 2008 my friend broke up with his girlfriend of two years via email and ended it with "all the best, Evan" and to this day that is some of the most fucked up shit I have ever heard.
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Hey guys Wedding Crashers came out 12 years ago if you wanna feel super fucking old
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Hi I'd like to force women to suffer an unwanted pregnancy but dont l think I should pay for her care while pregnant. Hypocrisy level: ELITE
WOW. The
#GOP
’s reason to object to insurance covering prenatal care? “Why should men pay for it?” Watch:
#Trumpcare
#ProtectOurCare
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the interview with
@ramit
focuses on getting out of your comfort zone and fighting to be the version of yourself
http://t.co/heP0U7Q5LT
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Just wanna wish a happy Valentine's Day to all my ex-girlfriends' new boyfriends.
Good luck, gentlemen. Good fucking luck.
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I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren.
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Could be worse. Imagine how long it takes
@amellywood
to unlace those calf-high super hero boots? You got off easy.
Took an extra 15 minutes to gather the energy to take off my shoes once I got home from the gym. Thanks
@JohnRomaniello
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I'm posting this pic because I have nice calves and I want you to see them so you can validate me with compliments and also I have not trained calves since 2009 and they are probably still better than yours so please laud me for my superior genetics.
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So far, I'm 67 days into my year-long experiment of no alcohol, ice cream, or masturbation. In related news, life is stupid and pointless.
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Game of Thrones season finale.
I came three times, and cried twice.
Fucking satisfying on every level.
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Unless you and your significant other have jointly committed AT LEAST a Class 1 Misdemeanor, please stop using the term "partner in crime."
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Last night while I was definitely not on drugs I had the idea to cross-breed an avocado with a potato and I’m pretty sure I’m on to something.
All hail the potavocado.
🥔 + 🥑
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True story: there is at least one person in your life who just straight up does not deserve to be there.
Remove them. Immediately.
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Never become so concerned with becoming a Great Man that you forget to be a good one.
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Men: Sex drive is an extremely reliable barometer for general health.
If you just generally do not want to fuck, something ain't right.
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"Hey what're you doing after this?"
Actual opening line a girl at the grocery store just used to hit on me. Kinda brilliant, really.
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Here's a comprehensive list of those you can trust not to screw you over:
1) your dog
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Guys. A "regimen" is a system or way of life.
A "regime" is an authoritative government.
Please. Stop.
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Guy in the gym is wearing a shirt that says "Sunday Gunday," despite today being Tuesday and actually training legs.
Fuckin rebel, man.
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If there's one podcast all men should be listening to, it's
@SryAboutLastNyt
's Guys We Fucked - the anti slut shaming podcast. Do it now.
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If you don't believe in equality, evolution, or that the pink Starburst is unequivocally the best flavor, we're just not going to be friends
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The most egregious crime in modern communication is switching between using "u" and "you." If you're going to type like an idiot, commit.
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There are two types of people in this world: those who use a special cute voice when talking to a dog, and psychopaths who can't be trusted.
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I think I'd travel more if my dog could text me when I was gone.
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True story: when I buy eggs, I don't open the carton to see if any are broken. That's just how I love my life, folks. On the goddamn edge.
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If you ever get hold of your friend’s phone, a really great thing to do is go to all their social media accounts and just write the words “masturbating furiously” as their status update.
I mean one time my friend got fired, but statistically that is not relevant.
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On the scale of how annoying things are, taking out the garbage is a 3, and putting a new bag in the trash can is like a 70.
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Be concurrently fearless and ruthless with your love and your time: give both freely, but the MOMENT someone wastes either, cut them off.
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"Bro" is a gender neutral pronoun, and I will engage in glorious combat with anyone who says otherwise.
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I fervently believe that there is no problem that cannot solved with the appropriate movie quote.
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If you're unwilling to skip a meal, workout, date, or shower to finish your work on deadline, you just don't deserve success.
#sorrynotsorry
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.
@AdventureDub
funny you should mention that, because I am actually sending you MY heart, as pictured
http://t.co/jN8aFLsxVX
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Just got asked to license one of my photos for the cover of romance novel.
Now I KNOW I've arrived.
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There are two types of people in this world:
1. People who methodically spoon through a pint of ice cream to eat all the crunchy things first
2. The other type doesn’t matter because they’re fucking dead to me.
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I wish Elizabeth Warren was my President and also maybe my aunt who gave sick-ass Christmas presents.
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Life rule: tip so well they think you made a mistake.
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Today at the gym, I curled in the squat rack. With kettlebells.
Because fuck you, that's why.
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Happy Holidays, everyone. Love you. Hope you're doing fun things.
Eat good food. Drink things. Watch a movie you've seen a million times.
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Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.
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Guys. I think I might get a tattoo of Admiral Ackbar on my trap.
That way, he's always right, and gets the respect he deserves.
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Sigh. Staying out till 530am playing a degen poker sesh just isn't quite the same without
@AdventureDub
-- but I'll take a $4200 win anyway
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I don't need you to tell me how good my coffee is, Jules.
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Being an adult is managing the despondency and loneliness resulting from the abject certainty that you are the only person on earth who knows how to correctly load a dishwasher.
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But...but that's Warrior 2 RT
@fitocracy
Spider-Man, Spider-Man, doing some down dog, it's Spider-Man!
http://t.co/GazctN1Cen
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People should not be persecuted for their beliefs, but rather for their grammar.
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I envy people who have less than 10 tabs open at any given time.
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There is no amount of legal documentation that will convince me that Spike from Little Giants did not grow up to become Rob Gronkowski.
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My definition of achieving true success is being able to get a neck tattoo without it in any way interfering with professional endeavors.
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It's
#nationalpuppyday
so here's a picture of three adorable animals making totally normal faces.
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So: Men have the right to regulate women's reproductive rights to prevent "killing babies" but no obligation to provide care for said babies
WOW. The
#GOP
’s reason to object to insurance covering prenatal care? “Why should men pay for it?” Watch:
#Trumpcare
#ProtectOurCare
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Instagramming a screen shot of your own tweet is the social media equivalent of you masturbating to a picture of you masturbating.
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I hope I never grow up to the point where I stop pretending certain parts of the floor are lava and if I step on them I'll die.
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“
@tferriss
: The key to not feeling rushed is remembering that lack of time is actually lack of priorities.” +3 to all Wisdom related rolls.
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"The road to Shredsville is paved with single leg exercises."
-Ancient Roman Proverb
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How many calories should a woman eat? Awesome article by
@ontheregimen
-
http://t.co/v06sXuMs8G
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It doesn't matter how offensive your statement is. As long as you follow it up with, "I'm just sayin", you're good. Everyone know that.
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To the complete surprise of absolutely no one, i have no issue publicly stating I'm super into butt stuff.
#buttstuff2016
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Anytime I start feeling I've "made it" I remind myself that there are DOGS w 2.3M followers who make more money than me. Shuts me right up.
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I once dated a girl named Lorem Ipsum. It didn't work out. But she was a pretty good placeholder until someone real came along.
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Wrapping presents is a stupid and wasteful tradition that should be abandoned immediately.
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Dear all my ex-girlfriends: I know you still have the sweatshirts you stole from me, and I will never, ever forgive you.
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"Hey, You Guys Mind If We Stop For Pizza?"
—an autobiography by John Romaniello
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[From the Archives] 5 Weird Tricks to Jump Start Any Muscle&
#039
;s Growth
http://t.co/YAMVLzuQBz
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Therapist: and what do we do when we feel like this?
Me: crush our enemies, see their fields driven before us, and hear the lamentation of their women
Therapist: what?
Me: what?
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Bout to go get in a Turkish deadlift session.
This is just like a regular deadlift session, plus a headache from doing kilo conversions.
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I'm glad Game of Thrones introduced the mindfuckery of a time paradox; I've honestly been feeling that things aren't complicated enough.
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I think I'm going to start using the hashtag
#singlegirlproblems
on all tweets, regardless of the fact that I am neither single nor a girl.
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"Guys like us need either a cheerleader or a fullback." - best relationship advice i EVER got, courtesy of
@garyvee
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FYI: I made a list of all the things I love most in the world;
@AdventureDub
came in right between Cuban sammiches & "A Link to the Past."
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How to Monday:
1) wake up 15m pre-alarm
2) go to gym; sprint till you puke
3) go to office; write till brain rebels
4) subjugate life
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This is full of some really, really awesome advice. Very helpful for being a better man, or a most excellent...
http://t.co/x8j46ZLqwY
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When it comes to any big project, always go all in.
Remember: no one wants to get fucked with half a dick.
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"Everybody's got a plan till they get punched in the face."
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Serious question: what is the cost comparison btwn 4 shots of espresso vs a single serving of pre-workout?
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