John Cochran
@JohnMCochran
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Writer, Survivor winner, and really nothing else
Joined August 2011
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Disappointed this was edited out of the episode, but grateful you can now all share in this beautiful moment
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The worst part of Survivor was always when Jeff would say “I’ll go tally the votes” and leave with the urn for what felt like an eternity. You’d just be stuck on a stump, panicking, waiting to learn your fate. Welcome to the stump, folks 😈
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As you watch this week’s Survivor finale, please keep in mind how difficult it will be for me not be shown bashfully smiling in the reunion audience. Thank you 🙏
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In 2010 I was a very nervous, inexperienced law student interning at the FCC. Some other interns, who knew my only discernible personality trait was “likes Survivor,” thought I’d get a kick out of meeting their supervisor: Yul Kwon.
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Now you're seeing what every date I go on is like. Lots of
#survivor
talk, capped off with an awkward hug.
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Best part of this Survivor renaissance is there’s an entire new generation of viewers I can engage with, bitterly explaining why their favorites really aren’t all that great.
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Congrats to the new cast of Survivor. May you enjoy these final 24 hours with your self-esteem still intact
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Upsetting to see BB production aware of an infectious virus running rampant in the BB house and doing nothing to intervene, especially considering what a powerful strain of Janellousy it is
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Dang remember those beautiful 3 minutes where we were all looking at a fly together
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Love that Cirie’s contract let her sit out of those embarrassing premiere competitions
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I honestly just feel blessed she typed my name at some point in her life
Can't stand Cochran. He should of been voted off tonight! I hope Ozzy comes back in the game.
#survivor
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In all sincerity, last night was the greatest night of my life. I deeply appreciate all the kind messages you've been sending. Thank you.
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Would I have been the magical link between old and new school, allowing all generation players to live in harmony? Probably so. Stay safe out there folks
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Happy 10.5 year anniversary to the vertically-oriented cell phone video that changed the trajectory of my life
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Pumped for Big Brother because if there’s one thing my life needs more of right now, it’s psychologically-broken reality contestants trapped indoors
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You may not be able to see me, but rest assured I’m sitting here uncomfortably waving
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I tried out for Jeopardy before I ever applied for Survivor. The hardest part of not making the cut was knowing I’d never get to have an awkward mini-interview with Trebek. May we all have that opportunity at the electric blue soundstage in the sky ❤️
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10 years ago I had the amazing opportunity to intern at a new gov’t agency being started by Elizabeth Warren. 2 days ago I had the even more amazing opportunity to vote for her to be President. Today I’m disappointed, but know her fight for Americans is still just getting started
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*forced smile making enthusiastic Survivor season recommendations while aware my own seasons are universally considered part of the show’s Dark Ages*
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I really like fire tokens! Idol-hunting in the woods rewarded weird antisocial behavior in an otherwise social game. Tokens allow players to use their own criteria for idol transactions. Love it!
Thank you for reaching the end of this tweet I’m gonna delete in a couple minutes
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I've posted this pic before, but, in light of recent events, feel it's worth sharing again. My senior yearbook page.
http://t.co/oFGd6IRm88
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I switched antidepressants 10 days ago and had a follow-up today with psych, who asked whether I’ve experienced a reduction in anxiety over the past week. I wearily gestured at the world
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I applied for Survivor basically because I wanted to be Jonathan Penner.
When I later got to know him and his family, I found the qualities I admire most in Penner — his wit, humor, and warmth — are shared in even greater measure by his wife, Stacy Title.
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@erika_cas
Your “mistaken for an intern at the back of the boardroom but actually running the meeting” analogy is an all-time legendary Final Tribal argument. Congratulations on a great game and win!
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Those of you who are suddenly saying you're "weirdly attracted" to me after the reunion show: feel free to drop the adverb.
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@stephenfishbach
@SandraDTwine
Same with sitting out challenges. Sandra won twice because she knows her strengths and her weaknesses and how to use both to her benefit. Edge is a dead end for her type of player — she knows her game well enough to recognize that! No shame whatsoever.
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CBS I am ready on deck if you need to cut to me for my thoughts on fire tokens or something
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Only NFTs I’m invested in are New Fun Twists on survivor 😎
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My main contribution to reality tv viewing parties is reverse-engineering the producer’s line of questioning that inspired any given confessional. Nobody asks for or even seems to enjoy this service I provide
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I'm thrilled to announce that I'm going to be a writer on the new CBS sitcom "The Millers" (with Will Arnett, Margo Martindale, and more)!
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Self-esteem update: just apologized to a magazine I accidentally sat on
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i want a reality show that's just footage of the losers' car ride home after family feud
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I try to live each day like I'm dying (of an illness that severely limits my mobility and leaves me with only enough energy to watch TV).
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My quarantine experience has two speeds: 1. paralyzed with despair and 2. manically dancing alone in apartment (also while consumed w/ sadness)
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#Survivor
premiere tonight! As you can tell from my senior yearbook photo, I’ve always been a Goliath 💪🏻
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Writing for
#StarTrekLowerDecks
has been one of the most fun, rewarding experiences I’ve ever had — and keep in mind I’ve felt Jeff Probst lovingly clasp immunity around my neck.
Like everything that gives my life meaning, the new Lower Decks is available now on CBS All Access!
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It was pretty cool to finally find out what it feels like to be a non-playable character in an RPG
#survivor
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Be sure to stick around after the credits finish rolling. I heard there’s gonna be a hilarious 3-month bonus scene
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If you try really hard and believe in yourself, anything is possible
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There's a lot of fear and sadness on Twitter tonight, but let's keep one thing in mind: this is super scary and depressing
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My Survivor legacy: unanimous winner or goober who begged for Twitter followers on live TV?
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Why's it cool for a rockstar to shout "I wanna hear you scream" at a concert, but not ok for me to say it w/ my inside voice on the elevator
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For the record, Debbie was totally sweet and charming and self-aware and fun to talk with. No spontaneous pushups!
#survivor
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Season one of Big Brother they’d bring in Dr. Drew once a week to provide his clinical assessment of the severe emotional toll the experience took on participants
Now they send a guy in a robot suit into the house to let players know how much America hates them. Massive upgrade
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Is literally anyone from Great British Baking Show willing to be my friend
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People comparing this administration to reality tv seem to forget that reality tv is awesome and fun.
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Big Brother’s one of those unique games that manages to ruin the lives of its players *and* its viewers
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Yes, I'm quite aware that it's all downhill from here for me.
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Looks like Probst’s going with his “reveal votes in the cruelest order imaginable” routine
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Sick and tired of pretending it's normal we spell "Wednesday" like that
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If you’re snowed in or just plain trapped at home, I had fun writing probably too many words about Survivor memories, regrets, editing, my DMs, and the personal significance of 1978’s “The Wiz” — check it out!
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Happy to announce I'm the new Bachelor. Some changes: no outdoor dates & most of my time will be spent asking Chris what to text the girls.
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@chubicki
In S23 we had a final 3 with a 9-person jury. On the van ride to Final Tribal, Ozzy lobbied for us to coordinate votes and force a three-way tie, just to find out what happens
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That feeling when I accept all cookies on a website even though I don’t know what that means
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Just want to thank the Brains tribe on Survivor for managing to make me seem like a well-adjusted person.
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Sunburn. Masculine tomfoolery. Vanilla. Intelligentsia attaché. Peanut butter-covered fingers. It all ends tonight. Let's do this!
#Survivor
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Waking up on a Sunday morning to looted businesses and painful images on the news isn’t fun.
Waking up every day of your life having to fear the very system meant to protect and serve you is much, much worse.
To join me in supporting LA bail relief:
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@MalcolmWHW
appreciate the tribute to this classic, celebrated Survivor moment
http://t.co/DMQUZzslwx
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I'm starting to feel like the punchline to a joke I don't get. I've got my eye on you, CG film community.
http://t.co/sjdpXR0SSL
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Aubry? More like ROBBEDry! That's a catchy, easy-to-pronounce nickname and I fully expect it to catch on
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Love when Bachelor contestants say "I felt it was time to start dating again," like the logical first step back is a televised competition.
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When all this is over, I’m confident I’ll emerge from these difficult months of isolation a stronger, better person who will disintegrate into a small pile of ash at the slightest touch of another human.
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This is the only time in my life I’ve envied Big Brother players
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Me: O evil genie, let me be remembered in my physical prime of 25
Evil Genie: your wish is my command
Me:
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Wonder how many of those guys are gonna contract oral herpes from kissing the trophy
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"I would give up all my clothes and dye my hair pink to win this next challenge" - true sacrifice, as defined by a
#bb18
player
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TFW you’re super excited for the new season of Survivor but deeply fearful of being rendered obsolete by new castaways
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Got stage fright doing self-checkout at CVS—panicked and put heavy juice carton in impractically small paper bag. Bag immediately tore, juice fell to the floor, everyone looked. Humiliating
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Don't forget: Survivor, the greatest show in the history of television, returns tonight at 8 on CBS.
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This is like when they announce the new Nintendo system and get you all excited and then quickly mention the release date is next year
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@SandraDTwine
every tribal council you survived this season was itself another victory, IMO, so you're like a 6-time winner
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Just left McDonald's empty-handed after being told the milkshake machine isn't working, in case you wanted to know where I'm at emotionally.
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It’ll be nice to finally refocus all this anger, frustration, and disgust back at myself 😌
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I think I'm going to use a portion of my winnings to destroy all evidence that Survivor: South Pacific ever happened.
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Valentine's Day is no big deal for me since I already spend the rest of the year eating chocolate and hating myself.
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Reminder: Survivor, the greatest reality show in the world, returns tomorrow. I have a feeling it's going to be an incredible season.
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The childhood instinct to flee to your bedroom when visitors arrive at your parents' house never really goes away.
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Instagram getting pretty aggressive with the “You’re all caught up” notifications. Let me obsessively waste my life in peace
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In what I imagine is the most predictable tweet of all time, I'm here to announce that I will be spending Valentine's Day with my mother.
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There should be an art exhibit of the 5-second clips that are filmed when people accidentally record a video instead of taking a photo.
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Yes, I can eat grubs, shipworm, embryonic duck, and pig brains faster than anyone else. Now accepting girlfriend applications.
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I'd be an actor, but I know I'd just get typecast as the guy who looks up from a microscope and says "Uh, you're gonna wanna see this."
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Idea for iPhone 6: change the front-facing camera so that it doesn't make me hate myself.
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a spider just jumped onto my forehead in the shower and it turns out my vocal range extends much higher than previously thought
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Turns out as incredible a Survivor player Yul is, he somehow manages to be an even better human being.
That’s especially true today, as he (alongside Stacy Title and Jonathan Penner) campaigns to fight ALS. To join them and learn how you can help, please visit the sites below:
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