Joe Baiamonte
@JoeBaia
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Freelancer For Hire. Former Editor @sportbible and @unilad . Former Culture Editor @eat_mcr . Available to write about food/travel/TV/film/wrestling/football
Manchester, UK
Joined March 2009
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Today’s the day…
Launching the first of two paid subscription newsletters. Macaroni & Gravy is a food, travel and culture page that I’m massively excited about going live with. Give it a look, subscribe, tell your mates and I’ll love you forever ❤️❤️❤️
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How are you making a shark film set in Paris and NOT calling it SHARK DE TRIOMPHE!?
A huge shark in the middle of Paris? That's in Seine...
Under Paris is now playing, only on Netflix.
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Netflix being $14.3bn in debt and then spending another $5bn on wrestling content is the exact sort of business decision I would make if I were in charge of a major streaming service. If you’re $14bn in debt, you may as well be $19bn in debt AND have Rey Mysterio and Randy Orton
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“You make your big comeback, lose the AEW title to Jon Moxley, win it back four days later. Helluva match. Then you cut a promo at the press scrum calling Hangman Page a fuckhead and you slap the piss outta The Young Bucks and I’m like goddamn is the kid workin or is he shootin?”
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Reckon my favourite thing about Alex Turner is if you went the pub with him he’d probably start the night talking a bit about French cinema and some documentaries he’d seen recently but then after eight pints is just fucking hammering his favourite quotes from Phoenix Nights
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Fucking hell. Saturday 7pm quarter final against France. At Christmas. RIP in peace anyone braving town that day. Manchester City Centre is gonna look like whatever was happening inside Super Hans’ New Year’s Eve party
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Quite surreal that tonight Chanel are doing a major fashion show on a street in Manchester where I have, on more than one occasion, been sick on my own legs
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When a bloke turns up at the bar 10 minutes after you and gets served first.
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Crazy to think that Joe Pesci perfected rap in 1998 with ‘Wise Guy’ and no other rapper has come close to this standard since...
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Alex Mack is playing in the Super Bowl despite having a broken fibula. I once pulled a sickie because Elf was on Channel 4.
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.
@RheaRipley_WWE
bringing ‘custody ladder match Dom’ with her to this morning’s media junket was absolutely phenomenal work
#WrestleMania
@DomMysterio35
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Really need Everton to somehow win the Champions League soon so we can see what happens when Salt Bae annoys Duncan Ferguson for a photo
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When you're dropping a new album at 9 but have to reduce Gotham to ashes at 10...
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This is a still from an upcoming Wes Anderson project and no one can tell me otherwise
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When you're on BBC Breakfast at 8 but have to team with The Undertaker at 10...
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Absolutely cannot be arsed with this. Felt like United were finally making a decent amount of progress for the first time in 10 years and now we’re just going to become another soulless state project like PSG, City and Newcastle. Fucking horrendous
The lesson Qatar has learnt as Manchester United takeover bid enters final stages
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When you’re half asleep trying to turn your alarm off in the morning...
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There is a part of me that wanted him to emerge, spluttering like fuck, bollocking the magician, shouting “I told you this was a stupid bloody idea!”
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“Detective Constable Wayne Rooney, Derbyshire Constabulary. I’m here to blow this case wide fucking open…”
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@MundialMag
All drawn matches should finish with those mad mid 90s MLS shoot outs where you’ve got to leg it from the halfway line with the ball.
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My favourite thing about this World Cup is how it’s shone a massive fucking light on how irrelevant and out of touch 95% of the middle aged, shit dad jeans wearing football journos really are. Fuck them and the fucking stone age they still operate in.
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"It's Tottenham, lads" - Rafa Benitez, 2.45pm, 15th May, 2016
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Bit of a low settlement that. She should have been entitled to hundreds and thousands…
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"Lynne, crack open that Walkers variety 24 pack and fetch me grey joggers out the dryer. It's going to be one of those nights"
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The absolute coat on Liam Gallagher. Imagine how many tins he can get in the pockets of it.
#OneLoveManchester
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“Oh, you think Eurovision is your ally. But you merely adopted the camp Euro pop bangers ; I was born in them, moulded by them.”
#Eurovision
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One of the best bits of the Hall of Fame last night was seeing how much Randy Orton was buzzing for The Undertaker being inducted
#WrestleMania
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Premier League chairmen are now basically playing Footy Manager after about 12 pints, "£20m for Troy Deeney? Fuck it, be a laugh, won't it?"
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I’m officially pitching to write 1,500-2,000 words on David Beckham’s decision to pair gammon and chips with BOTH pineapple and egg, mushy peas and coleslaw
Cc:
@MundialMag
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When you’ve got United at home at four but have to come back from the dead to haunt Randy Orton at six
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When you're that badly behaved in class your teacher takes you onto the corridor for a bollocking...
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Always great to see a bloke who once compared gay people to paedophiles and said a woman’s place is on her back or in the kitchen, take an absolute fucking pasting…
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Tbh, Vince hanging out with Dimitar Berbatov is way more bizarre than Vince having a moustache
While Vince McMahon did have a mustache backstage at Raw, the picture going around is fake. Here's the original
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The penalty that went in is better than the one that didn’t. That’s literally how penalty shootouts work.
Sick of seeing Spurs fans on my timeline going on about Dier being the hero and ‘saving’ England after Henderson’s miss.
You be the judge which penalty is better...
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Without doubt one of the finest moments in his career. Moved to New York where footy matches got in the way of his busy schedule of strolling through Chelsea, visiting art galleries, old jazz bars and buying expensive furniture and coats. A fucking Prince
Approach your bank holiday weekend with the relaxed attitude of Andrea Pirlo covering the post on corners.
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Channel 4 taking Nadine Dorries off the air just before Carol Vorderman went hog wild all over the Tories is the biggest missed opportunity in television history
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Four years to the day since I interviewed
@RicFlairNatrBoy
and he ended our hour by calling my wife and keeping me out all night. I’m still hungover...
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When you've got a semi-final to play but Tinder is going off...
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Championship Manager turned 25 this week, so here's my love letter to the GOAT, Champ Man 01/02...
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Dunno about you, but I'd rather have a government that doesn't leave seriously ill children waiting on makeshift beds.
#VoteLabour
We're voting Labour because we cannot sit by and allow the Tories to destroy our NHS for five more years. What's your reason?
#NHSforLabour
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Two years ago, today, I interviewed/was ripped to pieces by The Actual
@HeymanHustle
, during WrestleMania weekend. We discussed how terrifying Brock Lesnar is and then he called the cameraman a schmuck. Absolute perfection.
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WWE: Stop slapping your legs, it’s too unrealistic
Also WWE:
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Young Steve Austin had tremendous ‘German bad guy in Die Hard’ energy...
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I asked
@HeymanHustle
what he thought about Wayne Rooney. Turns out he doesn't much care for him...
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Not a day goes by where I don’t think of that episode of ‘Rick Stein’s Road To Mexico’ where that bloke makes him a dead good tuna chilli and Rick thanks him by immediately saying “so your nine brothers all drowned at sea, didn’t they?” Seminal television.
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Another big day for the ‘not understanding that charges being withdrawn doesn’t mean innocent’ gang on here
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Stoke appointing Paul Lambert as manager is a 'gone Tesco after the lunch rush and having to settle for a 'Just Ham' sandwich' managerial appointment if ever I saw one.
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“In prison, dinner was always a big thing…”
Rest easy, Paul Sorvino. Hope you and Ray are listening to ‘Beyond The Sea’ and cooking up a storm 🤌❤️
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In pog form?
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"They've gone with who? Guardiola? Well this wasn't worth getting out the pool for"
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It is my God given right as a dad to wear an old Italian footy top in the garden while looking absolutely fucking knackered on a Bank Holiday Weekend
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Jose Mourinho looks like he’s about to drop a quite nice Autumn/Winter collection for Next.
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The Last Dance but it’s about Steve Austin during the Attitude Era
Financial Times says Netflix will be producing special documentaries regarding WWE
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@WeahsCousin
Read ‘cat flap’ as ‘flat cap’ and wondered what the fuck you were on about then. Still very funny, like.
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Business Idea: A Serbian bakery selling sourdough loaves called Artisan Belgrade
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Me: I don’t want the football club I’ve supported for 30 years to become a sportswashing project for an autocratic state with a horrendous human rights record
Football Twitter: WE GOT BEAT 7-0 BY LIVERPOOL, CITY WIN LOADS, GO SHAG JIM RADCLIFFE, ALSO YOU’RE RACIST
Absolutely cannot be arsed with this. Felt like United were finally making a decent amount of progress for the first time in 10 years and now we’re just going to become another soulless state project like PSG, City and Newcastle. Fucking horrendous
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Chelsea have ruined Conte. Bloke’s not even grooming himself properly and is letting his defence go to shit. He’ll be buying Lloyd Grossman pasta sauce and having meals out at Bella Italia, next. Fucking hell.
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Be a laugh if Blackburn decided to sell one of their strikers on
#BackToTheFuture
day & announced "Where we're going, we don't need Rhodes"
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The use of Ngannou to get people interested in Fury/Joshua again has been pure pro-wrestling. Interest waned when AJ got dusted by Usyk. Give Ngannou a shocking ‘close call’ vs a complacent Fury before he gets pasted by a resurgent Joshua to make fans buy into that fight again
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Pre-emptively demanding the Amazon Prime doc about Mourinho in Istanbul
🟡🔵🇵🇹 José Mourinho’s verbal agreement with Fenerbahçe is on two year contract valid until June 2026.
It will also include an option for further season.
Jorge Mendes has been negotiating the deal and now time to review, sign all formal documents.
Here we go soon! 🇹🇷
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@tsbible
Roberto Martinez pursuing his dream of being Jason Derulo's back up dancer
#FavouritePremierLeagueMoment
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When you've got to deal with the Wet Bandits at 2 and get to the London Stadium for 3...
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Interviewed
@HeymanHustle
at WrestleMania 32’s radio row and can confirm it’s the most hilarious, humbling, brilliant and outright terrifying experience of my life.
Like - Comment - Subscribe
Behind The Scenes at
@WWE
@WrestleMania
Week
@BrockLesnar
#YourHumbleAdvocate
#RadioRow
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Conor McGregor's that nutter who turns up to your house party uninvited who you daren't ask to leave...
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Imagine trying to look after Jack Grealish full time? He must come with more instructions than a fucking Gremlin
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Paul Scholes is out here calling his son a bitch on instagram and there’s still people who reckon Gerrard and Lampard were better than him? Have a fucking day off.
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Jose Mourinho's such a defensively minded manager that his Real Madrid team outscored Pep's Barcelona in two of his three seasons in Spain.
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Weird how Katie Hopkins, Farage and Tommy Robinson weren't outraged when Jo Cox was murdered by a white, English terrorist.
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“Wargames is over, WWE logo flashes up on the screen then BAM! Cult of Personality hits the speakers. Helluva beat. Chicago crowd goes banana. Drew McIntyre throws a shit fit, Seth Rollins tells you to go fuck yourself and I’m thinking damn,these kids workin or are they shootin?”
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Basically, give me
@MundialMag
’s Hotel MUNDIAL,
@COPA90
/
@COPA90US
’s coverage, Eni Aluko and Alex Scott’s punditry, the
@PlayersTribune
pieces, Ian Wright’s shirts and the England lads on inflatable unicorns over a bunch of actual grown men going to war over a fucking teamsheet.
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Me when I find the button that turns a normal bath into a jacuzzi...
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United in the league have been grinding out narrow victories with about as much showmanship and swagger as Mark Corrigan making his toast on a weekday morning. In the Champions League they’ve approached every game with the same energy as Jez on a weekend away with SuperHans
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@alex_brotherton
When it’s being bought solely for the purpose of propaganda to distract from all the human rights atrocities the regimes buying it are directly involved with then yeah, it does make it automatically soulless
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Seeing as the Leeds badge has caused Pro Evo to trend, I reckon it's the right time to share this piece I wrote on what the Master League originals are up to nowadays...
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I only want modern football to be 95% spying now. The other 5% can be ballboys not giving the ball to opposition players when they’re in a rush during injury time.
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Fair play to Ronaldo for deciding against a couple of easy years in America or China in favour of getting the ever loving christ kicked out of his ankles by Italian defenders in front of half empty stadiums in Serie A for a few seasons. Nothing but respect.
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@joelgolby
In Burnley there was Pharoah's which, sensationally, marketed itself as 'Burnley's premiere Egyptian themed nightclub'.
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