Freelancer For Hire. Former Editor
@sportbible
and
@unilad
. Former Culture Editor
@eat_mcr
. Available to write about food/travel/TV/film/wrestling/football
Today’s the day…
Launching the first of two paid subscription newsletters. Macaroni & Gravy is a food, travel and culture page that I’m massively excited about going live with. Give it a look, subscribe, tell your mates and I’ll love you forever ❤️❤️❤️
Netflix being $14.3bn in debt and then spending another $5bn on wrestling content is the exact sort of business decision I would make if I were in charge of a major streaming service. If you’re $14bn in debt, you may as well be $19bn in debt AND have Rey Mysterio and Randy Orton
“You make your big comeback, lose the AEW title to Jon Moxley, win it back four days later. Helluva match. Then you cut a promo at the press scrum calling Hangman Page a fuckhead and you slap the piss outta The Young Bucks and I’m like goddamn is the kid workin or is he shootin?”
Reckon my favourite thing about Alex Turner is if you went the pub with him he’d probably start the night talking a bit about French cinema and some documentaries he’d seen recently but then after eight pints is just fucking hammering his favourite quotes from Phoenix Nights
Fucking hell. Saturday 7pm quarter final against France. At Christmas. RIP in peace anyone braving town that day. Manchester City Centre is gonna look like whatever was happening inside Super Hans’ New Year’s Eve party
Quite surreal that tonight Chanel are doing a major fashion show on a street in Manchester where I have, on more than one occasion, been sick on my own legs
Absolutely cannot be arsed with this. Felt like United were finally making a decent amount of progress for the first time in 10 years and now we’re just going to become another soulless state project like PSG, City and Newcastle. Fucking horrendous
My favourite thing about this World Cup is how it’s shone a massive fucking light on how irrelevant and out of touch 95% of the middle aged, shit dad jeans wearing football journos really are. Fuck them and the fucking stone age they still operate in.
I’m officially pitching to write 1,500-2,000 words on David Beckham’s decision to pair gammon and chips with BOTH pineapple and egg, mushy peas and coleslaw
Cc:
@MundialMag
Always great to see a bloke who once compared gay people to paedophiles and said a woman’s place is on her back or in the kitchen, take an absolute fucking pasting…
Sick of seeing Spurs fans on my timeline going on about Dier being the hero and ‘saving’ England after Henderson’s miss.
You be the judge which penalty is better...
Without doubt one of the finest moments in his career. Moved to New York where footy matches got in the way of his busy schedule of strolling through Chelsea, visiting art galleries, old jazz bars and buying expensive furniture and coats. A fucking Prince
Channel 4 taking Nadine Dorries off the air just before Carol Vorderman went hog wild all over the Tories is the biggest missed opportunity in television history
Four years to the day since I interviewed
@RicFlairNatrBoy
and he ended our hour by calling my wife and keeping me out all night. I’m still hungover...
Two years ago, today, I interviewed/was ripped to pieces by The Actual
@HeymanHustle
, during WrestleMania weekend. We discussed how terrifying Brock Lesnar is and then he called the cameraman a schmuck. Absolute perfection.
Not a day goes by where I don’t think of that episode of ‘Rick Stein’s Road To Mexico’ where that bloke makes him a dead good tuna chilli and Rick thanks him by immediately saying “so your nine brothers all drowned at sea, didn’t they?” Seminal television.
Stoke appointing Paul Lambert as manager is a 'gone Tesco after the lunch rush and having to settle for a 'Just Ham' sandwich' managerial appointment if ever I saw one.
Me: I don’t want the football club I’ve supported for 30 years to become a sportswashing project for an autocratic state with a horrendous human rights record
Football Twitter: WE GOT BEAT 7-0 BY LIVERPOOL, CITY WIN LOADS, GO SHAG JIM RADCLIFFE, ALSO YOU’RE RACIST
Absolutely cannot be arsed with this. Felt like United were finally making a decent amount of progress for the first time in 10 years and now we’re just going to become another soulless state project like PSG, City and Newcastle. Fucking horrendous
Chelsea have ruined Conte. Bloke’s not even grooming himself properly and is letting his defence go to shit. He’ll be buying Lloyd Grossman pasta sauce and having meals out at Bella Italia, next. Fucking hell.
The use of Ngannou to get people interested in Fury/Joshua again has been pure pro-wrestling. Interest waned when AJ got dusted by Usyk. Give Ngannou a shocking ‘close call’ vs a complacent Fury before he gets pasted by a resurgent Joshua to make fans buy into that fight again
🟡🔵🇵🇹 José Mourinho’s verbal agreement with Fenerbahçe is on two year contract valid until June 2026.
It will also include an option for further season.
Jorge Mendes has been negotiating the deal and now time to review, sign all formal documents.
Here we go soon! 🇹🇷
Interviewed
@HeymanHustle
at WrestleMania 32’s radio row and can confirm it’s the most hilarious, humbling, brilliant and outright terrifying experience of my life.
Paul Scholes is out here calling his son a bitch on instagram and there’s still people who reckon Gerrard and Lampard were better than him? Have a fucking day off.
“Wargames is over, WWE logo flashes up on the screen then BAM! Cult of Personality hits the speakers. Helluva beat. Chicago crowd goes banana. Drew McIntyre throws a shit fit, Seth Rollins tells you to go fuck yourself and I’m thinking damn,these kids workin or are they shootin?”
Basically, give me
@MundialMag
’s Hotel MUNDIAL,
@COPA90
/
@COPA90US
’s coverage, Eni Aluko and Alex Scott’s punditry, the
@PlayersTribune
pieces, Ian Wright’s shirts and the England lads on inflatable unicorns over a bunch of actual grown men going to war over a fucking teamsheet.
United in the league have been grinding out narrow victories with about as much showmanship and swagger as Mark Corrigan making his toast on a weekday morning. In the Champions League they’ve approached every game with the same energy as Jez on a weekend away with SuperHans
@alex_brotherton
When it’s being bought solely for the purpose of propaganda to distract from all the human rights atrocities the regimes buying it are directly involved with then yeah, it does make it automatically soulless
Seeing as the Leeds badge has caused Pro Evo to trend, I reckon it's the right time to share this piece I wrote on what the Master League originals are up to nowadays...
I only want modern football to be 95% spying now. The other 5% can be ballboys not giving the ball to opposition players when they’re in a rush during injury time.
Fair play to Ronaldo for deciding against a couple of easy years in America or China in favour of getting the ever loving christ kicked out of his ankles by Italian defenders in front of half empty stadiums in Serie A for a few seasons. Nothing but respect.