Jodi
@Jodiliveca
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living in a dream made of ashes... all my pictures are me or and taken by me.
Joined March 2009
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Pinned Tweet
I washed the violence off my skin to feel everything else.
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My silence is not empty. It is heavy and weighted with a thousand unquiet things.
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I buried it inside my heart, and it's been whispering to me too often lately.
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I just can't tell if this darkness is whispering from my heart or to it.
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It's the thickness of some feelings I'll never be able to wash away.
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The way I break is from the inside, such a silent shattering with no escape.
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There's a sadness whispering from within me that I tell myself not listen to, but I still feel it.
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Off the edge, fall with me, I will tell you everything on the way down.
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Of all the things running through my mind, I hear a darkness in my heart, most of all.
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Still I find the pain inside my bones lives deeper and slower than time.
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You wouldn't believe what I can do. You had only kissed the surface of my pain and darkness.
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Feeling new edges of an old darkness, and I've cut myself open again.
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I keep letting my heart beat and it's become the heaviest thing inside me.
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I feel in darkness for any resemblance of a home that I know does not exist.
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Finding lost paths and dead ends inside, every time I'm looking for my heart.
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I'll hold it until my hands are broken, I'll keep it close even if it burns my heart out.
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Of madness and monsters I've survived with both still bleeding out of my wounds.
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Burying my fingertips in your darkness to feel how deeply your pain takes me.
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I've created the monsters in my head, but not the monsters that come from my heart.
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Lower me within a dark silence and cover my wounds in the mercy I give to others.
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I have demons that have made a feast of my heart and now have moved on to finish my soul.
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I am stronger than I wish I was, wiser than I want to be and weaker than I ever knew.
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So often I bite down on my tongue and taste the blood of unsaid words.
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Every time I believed I had escaped my own madness, I found I've only buried it and never deep enough.
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Inside this silence, I've found this darkness that was born to be a scream.
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All this pain I've held inside is nothing compared to it all breaking out.
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The way that pain leans in for bite after bite and the obsession it has to consume and remain under fed.
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There's always a darkness begging and clawing. Even when it's silent, it begs to breathe against your skin.
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This inner voice burns everything down to ashes, and I've had to swallow them while they are burning.
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I have only handfuls of my soul left to give, and I'm offering them to myself tonight.
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My heart is on the floor, beating unsafely in a house with only ghosts for residents.
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There's violence in a dying dream that leaves marks on the soul long after it's in ashes.
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I have tucked away a bit of darkness that has loved me just for keeping it safely inside my heart.
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If you take me slowly apart looking for heaven, all you'll find is hell.
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Some nights hold to the ghost of you and I never want to see the sunrise again.
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How long ago was that rope tied so sweetly around your throat. It left its shadow on your soul.
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There's a violence that never washes off the scars, I could taste it in the air before I kissed your skin.
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These hands will never be washed clean of the pain they have reached into.
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The agony I've felt, breaking open into a thousand pages, dripping in pain and darkness.
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