Jock Cartier
@JockCartier
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Following
532
Media
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Statuses
49,809
Pirate of the St. Lawrence. Absurdist. Dry, sarcastic, sardonic, occasionally funny. Rambling about whatever occurs to me. Usually sports & Canadiana
Somewhere, not wearing pants
Joined June 2012
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@ProjectLincoln
Well, I don't know whose been running this rapidly descending hellscape the last four years, but they definitely shouldn't be allowed to continue
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CFL fans overrun social media with demands to know who will be the
#GreyCup
halftime show, mostly so they can complain about whomever it is
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This guy licks people, and even he figured it out.
Brad Marchand says protests are not political: 'It's about people being equal.'
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What does Duane Forde need to do to get the Grey Cup assignment. The guy has been their best analyst for over a decade... and Suitor sucks something fierce
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The transformation of Doug Ford in the last month has been breathtaking
"I can't stress how disappointed I am with Pres. Trump for making this decision … I’m not going to rely on President Trump, or any PM or President of any other country again. Our manufacturing, we're gearing up and once they start, we’re never going to stop them" – Doug Ford
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Sorry, but if you think seeing athletes drinking beer or smoking a stogie during a championship parade corrupted your kid, I hate to break it to you but the kid is already screwed and it's your fault. Actually, I'm not sorry. Get a grip.
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Edmonton has no hope
Calgary has no water
Winnipeg has no wins
This is what happens when Regina gets a Taco Bell
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For the love of cold beer and hotdogs. There are only 45 seconds left in a tied game
@CFLonTSN
, you stay with that game at least until regulation ends
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@ProjectLincoln
@TexasGOP
Fascinating how the GOP will reflexively condemn The Lincoln Project, but not white supremacists. Rather telling.
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CFL Fans: Why does no one do promotions for us?
7-11: We're putting out CFL Collector Cups!
CFL Fans: *Shits all over 7-11*
7-11: Fine, to hell with this
CFL Fans: Why does no one do promotions for us?
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I've made a lot of horrible decisions in my life, but at least I've never watched an episode of Big Brother
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So,
@CFL
@CFL_PR
@CFLFootballOps
, it's been almost a day, do you have any explanation for how Command Centre ruled this a catch, or are we just ignoring it and hoping no one remembers?
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Ok. But seriously... why the fuck did they give up that single?
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NEWSFLASH: You live in Canada. There will be six more weeks of winter no matter what the damn groundhog says
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So, I guess The Rock has now been cut twice by the CFL...
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Maybe the CFL did announce the Grey Cup halftime show, and
@CFLonTSN
just didn't bother to show it. Like the end of the Als/Argos game.
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Only the greatest moment in Argos history! Nay, CFL history! Nay, football history!
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@Avry
@jimmathesonnhl
Messier should have never been allowed to wear 11. 11 is 99 divided by 9... he desecrated Wayner and Gordie in one fell swoop! This is outrageous!
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Over 25 years and umpteen experimental football leagues, and Birmingham still hasn't seen anything as glorious as Matty Dunigan's mullet since
#CFL
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Scientists have discovered Grey Cup Week
Scientists have discovered a giant cloud of alcohol – 1,000 times larger than the diameter of our solar system – floating in space.
Enough to fill 400 trillion-trillion pints of beer.
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So... this would make Rod Black the lead play-by-play guy for CFL on TSN then...
As if hockey fans needed another reason to get excited about the return of the
#NHL
on
@Sportsnet
...
Welcome to the team, Chris Cuthbert!! 🎙️🌟
➡️
Stay tuned for more
#NHLonSN
broadcast team & coverage details in coming weeks!
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Booing that penalty? Get a grip Riders fans. He should have been ejected
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Amazing how fast an organization can turn it around with an engaged owner
B.C. Lions open upper deck due to ticket demand for West Semi-Final against Calgary Stampeders
#BCLions
#Vancouver
#Lions
#CFL
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Two weeks into the season and Calgary, Hamilton and Edmonton are all 0-2.
Betting became legal just in time for the world to learn why you do not bet on the CFL
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@PHXRisingFC
"unrelated to the USL's investigation"... but directly related to getting utterly exposed on camera and lying about it?
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Here is one for the mouth breathers that continue to insist on blaming the Edmonton Elks attendance on their name change... their attendance has been following the same declining trendline for 20 years, they changed their name two years ago
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Laval is pretty good… I wonder how many of those guys will be willing to take a pay cut and play in the pros
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@TheSteinLine
Why does it make a difference? They're dropping a tray off at their door, they can put something decent on the tray
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Say what you want about him, but Bo handled his demotion and departure with nothing but class
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First time in forever the Argos have generated organic hype in Toronto, have an exciting and likeable team and potential to catch lightning in a bottle and really capture the market
So of course, they come out and totally shit the bed to leave a bad taste in everyone’s mouth
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@LeBronMaclean
I mean, sure. If you don't want to go to the airport actually in Winnipeg, you could drive to an entirely different city, in an entirely different country
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Good clean tackle. Nice form. Lead with the shoulder. Would have liked to see him wrap him up more, but knocked his man down and created the fumble 9/10
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Wouldn't be a Stamps/Riders games without fans of both teams utterly convinced the refs, announcers, commissioner, Zeus, Yahweh and Colonel Sanders were entirely against them
#CFL
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I know this is mostly just about clickbait and willful butthurt at this point... but am I the only one that remembers Strev couldn't throw for shit in the CFL either?
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First Ballsy, now Chris Edwards. In a week the CFL got 78% less embarrassing
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Credit where it's due, I've been impressed with Canadian politicians of all stripes and levels of government the last week. Checked the rhetoric and stayed out of the way of the experts. A big relief given the shit show we've seen to the south.
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One thing that should definitely get more attention and be hailed is the awesome job done by the all-star crew of CFL officials last night. Now we just need to figure out how to get them to work all 81 games next season...
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Bombers vs Ticats in the Grey Cup, you know what that means... two more years of pandemic!
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Good news, Chad Kelly got home safely last night!
The Alouettes intercepted him on the 405, and returned him to the house!
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Rourke has so much time in the pocket, the City of Regina is sending him a property tax bill
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@wyshynski
@JC_in_Calgary
@MapleLeafs
Achieving independence in 1978, Tuvalu has also won just as many Stanley Cups as the Leafs in that time
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There is only one answer
🚨Our top moment in Argos history has been revealed 🚨
Read more:
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For the Reddit investors trying to resurrect businesses to their former glory, I have just one word for ya.... Bonanza!
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My Christmas decorating is complete, the front yard is my masterpiece... I call it, Shitter Was Full
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That's adorable. They've scheduled games in mid day in summer, at altitude, and allowed their fans to pelt opposition with batteries and bags of piss... but they're upset by a little snow.
Nothing extreme about -2 and a light dusting... -35 and windy, now that's extreme
#CanMNT
Condiciones climáticas extremas en estadio Commonwealth en Edmonton! Y para el martes se espera peor.
🇨🇦 🇲🇽
#EliminatoriasQatar2022
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It's almost like letting every state (and in several, every county) make their own rules for voting makes things a bit of a clusterfuck.
Enough to make a guy thankful for Elections Canada
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I didn't realize Pizza Pops were only available in Canada. People worldwide are really missing out when they stumble home drunk and impossibly desperate for something to eat
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Riders: No one is gonna want to play us in the playoffs
Rest of the league: Not a problem
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Pinball: We're going above and beyond to make this right
Why are you allowing Chad Kelly to practice?
Pinball: Cause the league didn't force us not to
If the CFL did a detailed 3-month investigation and found enough EVIDENCE to suspend Chad Kelly for 9 games, how in Gods name do the Argos and the CFL allow him to be on the field with the team today?? Are the moral compasses all malfunctioning?? Pinball, what’s going on??
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Hmm... the ever rare reverse tampering. Smart, get him out from under you before he stabs you in the back.
Ryan Dinwiddie: Edmonton would be 'foolish' not to hire Chris Jones as head coach
#Argos
#Elks
#ElksCharge
#Edmonton
#CFL
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It’s a catastrophic shame that
@CFLonTSN
has analysts like Forde and LaPolice… yet insist on putting a clown like Suitor on the big games
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Wok With Yan was one of the low key great shows of all time!
Wok with Yan is trending and and it's time to remember that Stephen Yan is a Canadian icon and a snappy dresser with a great theme song.
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When we look back at this, we're going to realize that Adam Silver and the NBA saved tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of lives by being the ones to pull the trigger and give North America the bitch slap it needed to act
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I'll never understand why sports teams put their logo on the floor when they get uptight about people walking on it.
You got a perfectly good ceiling that no one will touch, well, other than Lionel Richie
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This is like the embodiment of me... except I'd be rockin' boxer briefs
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My dad got his first dose of the mind control/dna changing vaccine on Friday, and could not be better
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What’s the most iconic sports photo ever taken? 📸
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If the CFL is getting rid of things, I'd like them to start with Rod Black, Calgary's black jerseys, and The Reklaws. Preferably in that order.
I’m an unabashed fan of the rouge. I implore the CFL not to mess with one of the most unique and traditional aspects of our beautiful, wider-and-longer field, three down game. Change is great but so is status quo sometimes.
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Not a big challenge, as 2-thru-6 can all be fired into the sun
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Labbe needs something named after her. A school?! A mountain?! A province?! Yeah, a province, Saskatchewan is hard to spell and sounds ridiculous, you're now Labbeland
#CanWNT
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Some advice for CFL fans, you can enjoy something and not have to go around deriding others who do the same. You don't have to compare what you like to anything else, or perform mental gymnastics to justify it to yourself or anyone else. You can just enjoy it
Wild idea, I know
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I'm hearing for Halloween the Edmonton Elks are planning to pretend they're a professional football team
#CFL
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Where is Donovan Bailey? Christine Sinclair? Charles Hamelin? Andre De Grasse?
This list is also, well, there is no other way to say it, extremely white
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Half-baked idea: Unvaxxed people who end up getting hospitalized for COVID, should have to pay for their health care costs. If they want to gamble, they can pay the freight
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I don't know why people say the Riders lack discipline... I mean, they're getting disciplined all the time!
#CFL
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Rod Black is a national treaure
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Screw The Rock, who the CFL really needs to partner up with is Ryan Reynolds. Just for the commercials alone
Hard keeping my mouth sewn shut about this one. ⚔️
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I pay for five TSN feeds, and that currently gets me four blackouts and some obscure tennis tournament. TSN: Cause, fuck it.
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I'm no criminal mastermind, but this sounds like a trap
Is your meth contaminated with coronavirus? This Florida police dept. will test it for free
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The Elks have a lot of problems:
- Dismal team
- Bad coach/gm on a long and fat contract
- Hemorrhaging money
- Potentially insolvent in a year or two
- Disaffected board of directors
- 25 years of top down organizational rot
- Dwindling fan base
Their name is not one
Elks offensive issues flying under the radar in the replies because people still think the losses are due to the name. Classic.
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Sign my petition to request Derek Sloan f*** himself with a wire brush
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After watching all the election chaos in the US (long lines, lawsuits, confusion, predatory policy changes, etc, etc), it makes me grateful for Elections Canada. Which is something I had never really thought about, but hammers home just how important independent oversight is.
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Let me guess:
12 Bunny Hugs
11 Western Pizzas
10 kg's of potash
9 nights at Casino Regina
8 bags of wheat
7 days at Agribition
6 pack of pil
5 months of SaskTel Max
4 passes to Craven
3 cars insured by SGI
2 acres of really flat land
And a Vico in a pear tree
Riders finalizing contract with Jason Maas as Saskatchewan’s offensive coordinator: The Riders are finalizing a deal with Jason Maas to be their offensive coordinator before he leaves Regina, per sources. Maas travelled to Regina Wednesday,… via
@JDunk12
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The Als have three major problems. They are, from least to most:
3) Trevor Harris
2) That f***in' horn
1) Danny Maciocia
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Anti-vaxxers: We just have to accept that 1/1,000 will die from COVID and 1/100 suffer severe complications
Also anti-vaxxers: The 1/250,000 risk of complications with the vaccine is outrageous and totally unacceptable
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