Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn @Jessicakibel profile

Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

Followers

815

Following

2,083

Media

6,595

Statuses

35,926

Maker, muse, mother

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Joined May 2020

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

2 years

I always thought that Mickey Rourke should play Sarah Palin. Tina Fey is too pretty.

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

1 year

@JoshuaPHilll The kids know that kids are being killed. It is enough for me, too.

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@Jessicakibel

3 years

@calebsaysthings This guy was busted by his wife. 100%

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@Jessicakibel

2 years

@Acyn Cracks me up. They wanted it televised and they look so bad. I appreciate you.

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@Jessicakibel

3 years

@bIoodfangs @ThatSwampWitch1 I just want a guy who will go out at night for milk.

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@Jessicakibel

3 years

@AtsukoComedy She was trying to control the 🔥 hahahahaha

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@Jessicakibel

4 months

@EricIdle Darling, just touch the profile picture. It is there now. No dots. No profile visits. Simple. Of course they could make it clear but…X.

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

2 years

@MNateShyamalan So what kind of female chats are there then?

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

5 months

@GianmarcoSoresi

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

1 year

@dieworkwear His pants are all too short as well which only makes it even more obvious.

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@Jessicakibel

2 years

@MNateShyamalan 8?

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@Jessicakibel

3 years

@kenklippenstein @Eve6 Everyone who wants to hold your money for you is questionable.

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

2 years

Seriously. To the end! Hahahahaahha

Matt Green

@mattgreencomedy

2 years

Your call is SO important to us!

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@Jessicakibel

3 years

@Jamesrus42 Omg hahaha everyone else, too! Okay. A gift for you.

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

1 year

@BFriedmanDC I haven’t talked to any of my relatives there for most of my adult life. We all need this reality check. I always thought it was not culture but lack of culture myself.

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

3 years

@chrissteinplays Have you looked closely at the symbol? Omg bahahahahaha

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

2 months

Kamala refusing to engage is making me happy. She won’t be forced to legitimize anyone. The boss does not have to engage. The boss makes the rules. Looking at media and Kennedy rn. Hahahahahaha Squirm, you worms.

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

3 years

@waltermasterson Wow dude is so not local. My fantasy? I would be jailed right now for breaking his knee. Do. Not. Assault. Women. Ever. Very triggering. I have freedom too. How could anyone just watch that? I think the LA videos got to me.

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@Jessicakibel

2 years

Tell people they are amazing. They do not always know.

Gail Simone 💙💛

@GailSimone

2 years

But I opened it, thinking it really had to be a trick or mistake, for real. I had no idea why this towering figure would write me. All it said was... "Dear Gail. I have been reading your Birds of Prey. I hope to hell you have some idea how good you are. Steve." 9/

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@Jessicakibel

2 years

@JUNlPER Ahh the good old days…

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@Jessicakibel

1 year

@theliamnissan Is that

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@Jessicakibel

3 years

@smc429 @MysterySolvent

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@Jessicakibel

2 years

@LauraMiers My son felt peer pressure when NYS removed the mandate 5/7. He got sick and now I am. I am wearing a mask for the rest of my life.

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@Jessicakibel

1 year

@jzux Sounds really nice. Normal even

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@Jessicakibel

11 months

This thread is really gonna scare if you were unaware. We do not need our stuff to work remotely guys. Flip your own switch. But watch this it will be so important to each of your personal lives. Start at the top.

Cory Doctorow NONCONSENSUAL BLUE TICK

@doctorow

11 months

Cars are in an uncontrolled skid over Enshittification Cliff. Honda, Toyota, VW and GM all sell cars with infotainment systems that harvest your connected phone's text-messages and send them to the corporation for data-mining. 70/

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

1 year

@Jamesrus42 You really overcooked that artichoke James

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@Jessicakibel

3 years

@Jamesrus42 In my yard it is this. It was 6 inches last week. Morning glory volunteers. And bamboo is the world record according to the kids.

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@Jessicakibel

2 years

@FINALLEVEL Minnie lover?

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@Jessicakibel

3 years

@PamelaApostolo1

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

3 years

Have you ever even MET anyone from Nebraska? Doesn’t exist. I need evidence.

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@Jessicakibel

3 years

NYC in June. Eliza Orlins. VOTE.

SD Criminal Justice

@SDCrimJustice

3 years

This Public Defender Has Fought the Manhattan D.A.’s Office. Now She Wants To Lead It.

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

1 year

@KenRoth He told the UN 3 weeks ago. Why is no one talking about this?

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@Jessicakibel

3 years

@Kristen_Arnett Studio Orta Interesting idea. Feel ya.

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@Jessicakibel

1 year

@LauraMiers I am free. Would you like some help getting ready? Super serious offer. I am a normal mom type I promise. I am NYC adjacent. And i am the queen of clean. Please dm if you would like some help. I really can and will. Will come with mask and bells on.

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

3 years

I cannot with anyone’s bullshit is probably #WhyImGettingCanceled

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@Jessicakibel

1 year

@RonFilipkowski @Marmel Where is the wicked witch when you need her?

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@Jessicakibel

2 years

@UncleDuke1969 😂

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

2 years

CAPTION THIS

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

1 year

@TSting18 Funny how no one ever say that about Harrison🤯

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@Jessicakibel

2 years

@OctopusCaveman @tunaofthesky Not wrong.🤣

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@Jessicakibel

2 years

Happy Daze #StonedSitcoms

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

2 years

@BostonGlobe This is the best news for me I have LC. I also have Lyme which hides in my joints. I get the virus hiding part. It makes a lot of sense. Explains so much.

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@Jessicakibel

3 years

I have loved many people who are gone now. I miss them. My father in law was a funny gentleman. This was his favorite joke. So naughty. Have a beautiful day.

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@Jessicakibel

1 year

@messedupcars Says it right there “Haters gonna hate” You filling the stereotype😂🤣is kind of comedy gold

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@Jessicakibel

1 year

@GianmarcoSoresi There is certain group of comics that came up together and i can do without most of them.

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@Jessicakibel

7 months

@GianmarcoSoresi Hahaha watched the YT and kept thinking about the convo they had and the plan they made before the show. Just why are they there! Spill. Did you talk to them after?

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@Jessicakibel

3 years

If hotdogs were called floppy meat things we wouldn’t eat them.

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@Jessicakibel

2 years

@Acyn ??? So “hahaha fooled you I win” is his answer. Wish i could say it was surprising…

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@Jessicakibel

1 year

@RealLyndaCarter For the clueless like me. I had to look. And yeah Have a peaceful day all.

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

3 years

Why is it “R-can-saw” And not “R-cans-ass”?

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

3 years

@UncleDuke1969 @TheAlexNevil Did it just evaporate?

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

1 year

@paulapoundstone Hahahha it is a slime mold.* Love the humid cool weather we have had. They go away when it gets hotter. You can just clean it off. *tip it over and there may also be some cool bugs.

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@Jessicakibel

1 year

@GianmarcoSoresi Everyone pulls that 1948 UN partition map out too but no one asks why the UN had any say in the first place.

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@Jessicakibel

3 years

@thegoodgodabove We should be calling it something else. Supermen serum?Fountain of youth?Elixir of life?Blood of god? Tell them it full of make ya #bettersmarterstrongerricher . Your gang has been very good at this. We have been trying to explain with champagne words to people who speak Coors.

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

2 years

@rickygervais I have not fully awaken yet. Eeewwww.

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

2 years

@FINALLEVEL She’s cute w/out it❤️

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

10 months

@dieworkwear Whoever sold him that suit hates him. Good job hahahaha

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@Jessicakibel

2 years

@English_Channel Wow. Someone has a real hard on for their job!

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

1 year

@RuntimeAgent @theliamnissan Check out Sisu. Lotsa dead Nazis

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

2 years

@Acyn There is big difference between pretending to be a great businessman and actually running a country too.

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@Jessicakibel

1 year

@LolOverruled @elizaorlins @createcraig Would you share this too? I think this should be in every thread

Talia Jane ❤️‍🔥

@taliaotg

1 year

This is Jordan Neely. He was a Michael Jackson impersonator with a loving fan base, who documented his performances over the course of years. If you rode the subways in the last ten years and stumbled into a spry, joyful MJ, it was likely Neely. 🔗:

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@Jessicakibel

1 year

@BlackKnight10k Shows how little most of them understand how our programs work. They could never replicate what exists in Colorado

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@Jessicakibel

1 year

@WUTangKids Where are the blues brothers when ya need em

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@Jessicakibel

3 years

If your dog farts a lot, I recommend an N-95 mask. You will have to cut a small hole for the tail.

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@Jessicakibel

3 years

#ImAsNormalAs the next Mom.

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@Jessicakibel

1 year

@AlexNBCLA @anylaurie16 @NBCLA People can go clear the drains too. Tell them that. Very helpful.

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

3 years

@TheJimmyMurray @raunchonpizza No

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

3 years

Got my booster today so I made comfort food. Care for trifle?

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

3 years

I have surgery in a couple hours and I feel nervous! I am usually fine-ish. 😭 I would like to see some FUNNY MEMES PLEASE. Or tag me on a funny thread. Grateful for any distractions.❤️

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@Jessicakibel

3 years

@BlayrAustin @bobjcomedy This is the perfect New Year’s Day tweet with the perfect number of likes.

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

2 years

CAPTION THIS

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@Jessicakibel

1 year

Tomorrow is my 30th wedding anniversary. Mind-blowing.

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@Jessicakibel

1 year

@katieporteroc Katie. Someone knew. Tell us. This was 2 weeks ago. Provocation. We trust you, you know. Is the foothold worth it?

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

3 years

Goooood mooooorniiiinng!!!! @bobjcomedy @ComeInsideUS

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

3 years

@Marcus4Georgia Is it really a career if you are only there a couple years? I worked at a chicken shack once for a couple years. Not a career. Semantics matter.

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@Jessicakibel

3 years

“It is definitely a fractured metatarsal.” #SomethingYouDontWantToHear damn

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@Jessicakibel

3 years

@PallaviGunalan Again! Like tarot!

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

3 years

My husband just ate a macaroon and told me it was excellent. I tried one and they are hard as rocks. That is love. (New batch soon!)

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

2 years

@Ariel_Comedy @GianmarcoSoresi It is a surprise every year.

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@Jessicakibel

2 years

@albolt76 Wordle 494 4/6 ⬛⬛🟩⬛⬛ ⬛🟩🟩⬛⬛ ⬛🟩🟩🟩⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

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@Jessicakibel

1 year

I have buried more than my fair share of friends and family. Eleven years ago, my beautiful boy died. On his brother’s birthday. It is so hard to be joyful. I am always on alert for the next tragedy. Gonna dump some sad shit today y’all. It has to go somewhere so i can breathe.

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@Jessicakibel

3 years

SithLordJarJarBurke. @BB996688 adorable

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

1 year

@jimrosecircus1 Same. Meet Zeke and Howl. I couldn’t separate them…

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

3 years

Happy World Penguin Day! Caption this. 4/25 @ComeInsideUS @DoctorFuture_ @craigala_comedy @PussyGa32262845 @DickHandler5 @Monkeyinheaven @eamcguoirk @RebeccaTKaplan @katrinasivad @floodums @AnthonyKapfer @bobjcomedy

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@Jessicakibel

1 year

I finally got to meet my grand-puppy and his name is NORM MCDOGGIE. My son is hilarious

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

3 months

@mistresstailor Not everyone knows how to express appreciation for art. I covet but don’t say it. As for compliments - You are an artist. Ty for sharing so many beautiful and interesting things.

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@Jessicakibel

2 years

Happy 420 Thanksgiving, folks. Bout to sit down. HOPE YOU HAVE A PEACEFUL EVENING❤️

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@Jessicakibel

2 years

@malonebarry @Stone_SkyNews Safest?

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

2 years

CAPTION THIS

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@Jessicakibel

1 month

@dieworkwear Striking fear in the heart of the average man is an incredible superpower. My TL is a joker.

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@Jessicakibel

1 year

@roywoodjr Omg do i need to watch cleaning videos? I am so damn relaxed RN. An excellent joke and chill. Gonna call it a Roy

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

2 years

@Acyn Like he won the lottery he is so happy😂

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

2 years

My hub and I mourn today the loss of our closest friends. Spend time. Tell them you love them. You never know how long you have in this life. RIP i loved you then and i miss you so much now.

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@Jessicakibel

5 months

@depthsofwiki How to get banned from editing on Wikipedia

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

5 months

@CraftyCatDad Ty. I just sent 1000 to Shon for theater kids. This is great solution.

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@Jessicakibel

3 years

@Eve6 #thanksmas

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@Jessicakibel

2 years

Today is my 28th wedding anniversary. It has been beautiful and happy. We have been through so much together. There has been tragedy, too. But we do it together. I love my husband.

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel

1 year

@paulapoundstone Beware the bananas! Actually you block him BUT Then you get the flabby arm lady

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Mother Nipplebottom is Schroedinger’s Unicorn

@Jessicakibel