JaxEsq ❤️s Spooky Season
@JaxEsq
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Attorney at Garlic Bread. Attractive Nuisance ⚖️ Neurodivergently charming. #disney #horrorfam #adhd #inhouselaw #lawtwitter #swiftie IG: @jax .esq 🚫 MAGA 🚫
Joined July 2023
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Pinned Tweet
No, no. I’m an attorney at garlic bread now.
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Please call him Groucho Barks please call him Groucho Barks please call him Groucho Barks
"Newest member of the family, adopted from shelter! Any suggestions for a name?"
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First time in four (4) days I’ve put on makeup and wore something not pjs. AND LEFT THE HOUSE. Please clap.
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@DouglasDavisRN
The degree to which this would bring out my mama bear…. BUT
My 6yo has looked strict “Catholics” in the eye and said the Bible was made up. So I think she’s got it covered.
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What it’s like being an attorney:
“Hi hello, in this situation you can do this and/or this, BUT NOT that.”
Them:
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Well… I knew my company was in a bad place. I just was let go in this round of RIFs.
Memes and pet pics appreciated.
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The face of a girl whose 2nd interview went well (I think)! We talked about Taylor Swift and Nancy Drew 😂
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@TaylorOSoule
Someone said that to me with both of mine and I almost screamed. My first was colicky and didn’t sleep, the second was a newborn doin newborn stuff. Awful.
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This has happened to me 3 times this week. I’ve gotten yelled at for things I can’t control by sales.
I’m finishing one K as fast as I can and just got an email on a K I dropped everything for on Tues that needs to be back by Mon 12p.
I am currently unable to stop crying.
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Guys guys GUYS GUYS GUYS I just got an initial interview with a place I’d LOVE to work for tomorrow!!!! Good thoughts appreciated!!!
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I regret to inform
#lawtwitter
that the one thing we all managed to ever agree on has been taken care of.
Back to our normally-scheduled programming of fighting.
BREAKING: JUDGE URAL GRANVILLE HAS BEEN RECUSED FROM THE YOUNG THUG AND YSL TRIAL
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Today I learned I am still not mature enough to write “Magna Cum Laude” on my resume without a lil giggle.
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@JoJoFromJerz
@Drakayris
This is the thing that’s killing me. Horrible role model in so many ways.
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I have a very hard time taking a corporate counsel application seriously when a required question to answer is “What is your favorite provision to negotiate and why?”
My favorite dinosaur is a stegosaurus and favorite color is blue while they’re at it.
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@DouglasDavisRN
She does not suffer fools. When she was 3 she said she wanted to see the Easter Bunny. I asked about the one that went to her preschool and she said “Mom. That was an adult dressed up. I want THE BUNNY.” 💀
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Got up the energy to shower finally.
I may feel like a total failure but at least I’m not a stinky failure anymore.
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Came out for a colleague’s bday hh, she’s late and no one else is here yet so your girl is just holding down the fort 🍷
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Going to a kid’s Barbie-themed bday party. Mom said she encourages dressing up with the theme and I never turn down a chance to do a good theme.
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@ArtCandee
I used to watch him all the time on 3rd Rock and loved him then, and I love him now.
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@chasingstorks
That is wonderful!! Congratulations! I took 50 tests (not kidding, I had the cheapie pack and used every last one) after my embryo transfer - and I still love seeing this kind of happy news ❤️
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#NewProfilePic
A pic that wasn’t appreciated at the time by a guy I flew out to see last year who not only was hung up on his ex but also talking to someone else. Let’s give her the credit due.
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Taking pics while my face hasn’t melted and also I’m just killing time at this point 😅
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Resume is updated and sent off with my first application 🤞
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This is the first time I’ve been hopeful in so so long. With jobs, people… everything.
I’m scared out of my mind.
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You know what, if the sun won’t shine here then I’ll do it 💛
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Finally have 2 seconds to share a result of heatless curls this morning. We like or too curled?
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I haven’t been hungover in years and after last night I have a hangover headache. Guys this hurts I don’t like 😂
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Yeahhhhh I got the green dress, so I get it 😶
normal people got the ttpd merch to celebrate the album and I got the popflex skirt
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They can pry minis and fun tights from my cold, dead hands
the shorter the skirt the better the lawyer or however the saying goes
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Today I got EIGHT resumés with individualized cover letters out today!
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My late grandfather received a Purple Heart for his service in WWII.
To me, honoring those (including animals) who made the ultimate sacrifice for our recently-tested freedom means keeping an incoherent, narcissistic, felony-charged, orange embarrassment out of the WH for good.
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😶 just don’t want to bug you
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I just found out another dept at work lost 70% of their team yesterday in the same round of RIFs.
I know logically this is a transition period and it likely wasn’t about me - but I still keep wondering what I could have done to be valuable enough to keep. I gave it my all.
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Actually made an effort to wear some makeup today and wearing one of my spooky shirts for a movie break from applying to jobs (cover letters, y’all 😵💫). Time to see one of my most anticipated movies of 2024: MaXXXine!
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@reqnights
I got in an argument with a coworker because he kept saying if I saw Travis in a bar I’d never pay any attention and YES I WOULD because he’d have everyone around him having fun.
We both agreed hard no on Joe though 😂
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Sorry I’m late, I had to look in the mirror and say “hell yes!” one more time before I left.
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GUYS GUYS GUYS so last week I had that initial interview with a place I think I’d love…
I have a second interview this Friday!!!
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I WENT OUTSIDE AND BRAVED SUNLIGHT PLEASE CLAP AS I BURN IN 0.37 SECONDS
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So let me make sure I understand: Judge Granville is:
1) Moving the contempt hearing to the day before a federal holiday. It’s fair to assume Brian Steele will be found in contempt and then held over a holiday;
2) He’s having the transcript review out of the public eye. WHY?
Judge Glanville has moved his “show cause hearing” to July 3rd.
This hearing is for him to determine if anyone other than Brian Steel should be held in contempt as a result of the ex parte hearing.
He will also be holding an “in camera” (private) transcript review July 1st
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@DouglasDavisRN
😂😂😂 the world isn’t ready for this next generation of girls, let me tell you.
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Wait did Shakespeare do the first “your mom” joke??
And, to end, a bonus classic from Titus Andronicus:
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We need this question answered
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@anolsentwinn
@raisintinybabes
Yep this. Had a great partner who would take her, and still my baby was premature and I couldn’t take not being with her. Also I was severely depressed.
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Tyrion did NOT enjoy the brouhaha of getting groomed but now he smells like a cookie instead of crabmeat gone bad
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Chilly out means plaid skirts are still seasonally appropriate
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Panel third interview scheduled for this Wednesday and Thursday 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞
Also any panel interview tips GREATLY appreciated 😶
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I guess I have time so… I’m going to make Sugo. It takes a solid 5 hours so starting now. One of my absolute favorites to cook. 🤤
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I get it, bumblebees - I do a lil excited food dance too.
No, this bumblebee is not twerking.
Like honeybees, they are known to perform a waggle dance in order to communicate the location of food.
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Don’t mind me just here at the child rat casino for a bday
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Pretty sure I’ve heard hot girls take themselves to see scary movies for a self-date. I’m pretty sure.
Strangers: Part 1
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Tried to make chicken piccata for the first time. Learned a LOT 😅 but had a ton of fun
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Law friends - have any of you worked with a recruiter to find your next job? Recommendations? I’m only looking for in-house, I have a good amount of in-house experience so 🤞
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Tyrion hasn’t left my side all day. He’s such a good boy 🥹🥹🥹
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Unfortunately this doesn’t look real, but it’s the funniest thing I’ve read today
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I know I’m the exception in showing lots of emotion. I am too much for many, many people and I’ve been told that since I was a kid. I try as hard as I can to hold it in, conceal don’t feel.
It’s now 4/last 4 business days I’ve cried at work. I hate this, I don’t want to feel.
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I came home to change and look like a 90s ad.
I kinda love it.
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First initial interview done of this new world of mine - I said “um” wayyy too much 😂 It’s nice to at least get back into the interview groove ☺️
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I’m always here for this level of petty 😂😂😂
Man who kept his boat besides his house was ordered from the city to put up a fence to hide the boat from view. So he built the fence and hired someone to paint it.
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I lost my family void to old age in April, and just found out Lily girl passed about a week ago. My parents didn’t tell me, but they knew I wanted to say goodbye because she was getting old too. I wish I’d been there one last time for her. I hope she knew I loved her. 💔
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YES I DO THANKS
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I love this dog with every fiber of my being
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Don’t mind me just getting my tomorrow costume ready
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