Jamie Vaide 🏴 🇬🇧
@JamieVaide
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27,437
Author, actress, mother, community leader and gentleman. Opinions my own. Fulham FC / Hawthorn FC / #KrumkachyKeyboardUltras
London
Joined August 2011
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Pinned Tweet
Haha - Soccer Saturday!
"Fulham are one nil up. Are they in charge, Bryn Law?"
"Absolutely not, Jeff."
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Makes it VERY DIFFICULT to take the piss out of Barnsley fans knowing I have to share a stand with violent, racist fucks who somehow think they can physically attack a player's family because we lost a match. Lifetime bans please,
@FulhamFC
- nothing less will suffice.
To the Fulham fan that decided to hit my sister at the game today and his wife who justified his action with racist remarks I hope your proud of yourself and feel like a big man. You’ll get what’s coming to you. Regardless how you felt about the result your actions are shameful🤬
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A quick word to my followers from struggling / under performing clubs.
2016: Fulham just escape relegation. Our central defender is told he can leave.
2018: Fulham is promoted to the Premier League. The same defender is voted Player Of The Season.
It's never over.
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Joachim Anderson has only played six games for Fulham and captained the team twice. When somebody fits, they fit.
#FFC
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If I ever become rich, I'm going to hire Fulham's groundskeepers to do my lawn. Dear lord, it was like a carpet to walk on*. And the grassy scent!
*This tweet does not constitute an admission that I was on the pitch yesterday. Neither do the photos, including this one.
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Incredible to think Mitrovic has just put Serbia into the World Cup by beating Portugal a mere week after scoring the winning goal for Fulham against Peterborough.
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Hello everyone. Been a bit quiet recently on Twitter. I've actually been in hospital with coronavirus and sepsis. I'm out now and today is the first day I've been allowed out of the house. The first time I've seen sunlight in two weeks.
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Denis Odoi is playing Champions League football this evening. Couldn't be happier for him.
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I can't remember after which of the NINE tackles it was, but the entire crowd stood and applauded Palhinha in a spontaneous acknowledgment of the shift this absolute juggernaut of a man put in for us.
#FFC
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"Arsenal face Fulham in the London derby."
THE London derby.
Sky are finally getting it. We. Are. Massive.
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The man's entire account is a history of trying to get things for free, plus ZERO previous tweets about Fulham. You waited for an hour at the bus? Oh, the COMMITMENT! If you want a Sess shirt, do what everyone else does and buy one, you cheap begging shyster.
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Returning from the bogs and hearing the Hammersmith End going off.
#FFC
I don’t think I ever clapped while running
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The missus hears me watching the Gentleman Jim Cam video on YouTube.
Wife: "Jesus Christ, Jamie - you're not STILL watching that, are you?"
Me: "But it's a new angle!"
#FFC
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Three years ago today. I doubt there was one Fulham fan there who didn't think we'd win. Remember having that level of belief in a team?
#FFC
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Two months since Tony Khan last tweeted about Fulham. Not a word regarding the seven matches since. Plenty of AEW tweets. Plenty of Jaguars tweets, considering it's off season. Don't pretend you give a shit about us. Just another fair weather, uninterested American owner.
#FFC
Thank you very much to all
@FulhamFC
supporters worldwide + thank you to our squad & staff! I love this Club; we have such a wonderful people in our staff all working for days like today. Our squad was tremendous again, they deserved this great win! Thank you all! Come on Fulham!
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How come Greta Thunberg's mother and father receive nothing but praise for letting her truant for a year, yet the mere suggestion of my kid missing one day of school so we can go to Leeds away makes me a bad parent?
#FFC
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I'm going to say it.
Castagne from out of nowhere.
Definition of a quiet achiever. Filling in more than adequately for a club hero. He's been one of the success stories of the season.
Respect his name.
#FFC
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Imagine you were offered this scenario last August:
Promoted with five games in hand.
Top of the division.
Six points and twenty eight goals clear of second.
Mitrovic sets scoring record.
Fan base would be largely disappointed when it happened.
Ridiculous. Yet here we are.
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Hear me out - how about Bayern keep Gravenberch, we keep Palinha and Liverpool go and fuck themselves?
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Ban them from the FA Cup as well, with immediate effect. The team they beat in the third round should take their place, whoever that might be.
Breaking: Manchester City has been banned from the Champions League for the next 2 seasons after being found guilty of breaching financial fair play rules, UEFA has announced. (h/t
@ESPNFC
)
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Hahaha - they gave Liverpool NOTHING! Premier League and Champions League runners up last season and the
#motd
team spent all their time praising little old Fulham!
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They're leaving early?!? After fifteen months of no football?
Embarrassing.
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Mitrovic elevates us.
There may be better players in the world, but there is not one who brings more to his club than he does to ours. He carries the standard and leads the charge. If he's on the field, there is always hope. We are lucky he lives by the river.
#FFC
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Today, Fulham looked and played like a Premier League team. Every player belonged. We belonged. This is the way.
#FFC
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@LiamFox
@DailyMailUK
Britain isn't a nation of Covid neurotics - we're just being run by them, or run by people who take advice from them.
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First two seasons in the Championship, I was annoyed when we lost. Third season, I was surprised if we lost. Last season, we didn't lose.
This season, we're so bad that even we're beating us.
#FFC
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No clappers - what the hell? I've got to use my hands like some sort of peasant?
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Worth every fucking second I sat on this bloody coach. Every second.
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We would be sending a message with a Schurrle-Mitrovic-Sessegnon front three.
An SMS, in fact.
Here all week.
#FFC
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I love that three months ago there was talk of loaning Muniz to a Championship club - and now we're all questioning why he wasn't selected for the Brazil squad.
#FFC
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After the last penalty, the Leeds keeper looked round to revel in our misery. All he saw was appreciative Fulham fans applauding a superb effort by our team.
#FFC
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Having a billionaire foreign owner with integrity and of good standing isn't for every club.
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Dear God - I'm doing the crossbar challenge at half time and I'm in Doc Martens.
Pray for me...
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A cold has defeated me, so the missus is going to accompany the eldest this evening. I'm worried about the potential bad language and aggressive chanting giving offence, but hopefully she'll rein it in.
#FFC
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Can't hear the bloody train announcements thanks to the singing.
"I'm afraid the train is delayed by -"
JOHN PANTSIL, MY LORD
JOHN PANTSIL!
#FFC
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Am I wrong or is next week the first opportunity this season to sing the "Harry Wilson, Mitrovic and Neeskens" song with them all potentially being on the field?
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We've got Muniz
Rodrigo Muniz
I just don't think you understand
He's better than the rest
He passed his Covid test
We've got Rodrigo Muniz!
#FFC
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The Queen's Park Rangers away coach just passed us on the way back from Hull.
It's the only time this season QPR will overtake Fulham.
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Dear lord, it is SO NICE to be able to watch the play offs without being depressed because we've just been relegated, jealous because we didn't make them or nervous because we're involved.
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Build the pier, paint it red and call it Mitro's Landing.
Fuck the FA, fuck the referees, fuck NIMBYs and fuck everyone else as well.
#UTF
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I still can't believe it.
"It" being our signings, our team, our manager, our gameplay, our results, our season - take your pick.
What a time. What a club.
#FFC
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Rico is the personification of calm and competence. I haven't read all of Twitter yet, but we should be rightly celebrating another clean sheet along with the win.
#FFC
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He's apologised, so it's over. He's also been racially abused, so fuck that shit - he gets support because that cuntery will not fucking fly. We're better than that, so let's show him that we're behind him.
#FFC
#FulhamFamily
Ranieri says Kamara has apologised for Saturday's penalty incident. "[So] for me it's finished. The team is the first thing in my head. If I need him, he will continue to play."
#FFC
🚑 Injury Table
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Fulham admin showing the kind of attacking intent that we've missed this season.
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To put this into context, this is the same amount of goals that Ross McCormack scored in TWO seasons with Fulham.
#FFC
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If you ever wanted to see a player take the opportunity he was given and not just run but sprint with it, this was the occasion. If you didn't know the team or their ages and were asked who was making his debut, he wouldn't even be on the shortlist.
▪️ 5 duels won
▪️ 66 touches
▪️ 57/63 accurate passes
Luc de Fougerolles was your MOTM against Ipswich! 🇨🇦
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Hearing that there will be a surprise number 5 ball which will be Manchester City away.
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Add Crystal Palace to the list of "thank god I don't have to do this trip every home game."
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When this season is over, I will contend that our most impressive achievement was beating Brighton home and away.
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I asked my lawyer wife about Joe Bryan's contact situation with Villa. She told me she'd need to see the contract before opining. I can't believe she won't offer mindless speculation without full knowledge of the facts - doesn't she know that's what Deadline Day is all about?!?
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Have to say the way we played today was how I expected us to play every game at the start of the season. It's actually ridiculous it's taken this long, and it's going to make relegation all the harder knowing we were capable of so much more.
#FFC
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If Andersen can cause Loftus Cheek to be carried off, I'll pay for his statue myself.
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Funny how quickly we would move from shock that Seri is on the team sheet to shock if he isn't.
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Fuck. Me.
Thirty two teams and we have to get those fucking wankers AGAIN!
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Manchester United away booked.
Lecture on financial irresponsibility from the missus also booked.
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Oh, are we inconveniencing you? How terrible! I mean, we should be bending over backwards to make it as easy as possible for you. You DESERVE any player you want. It's so awful for you to be discomfited in this way.
Fulham making us all very nervous by not having a replacement yet.
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Like this tweet if you immediately zoomed in on every photo.
(Don't like this tweet for that reason - I work for my validation, damnit!).
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Was feeling a bit sorry for De Bruyne, them I remembered his dive against us at the Etihad and now I'm not sorry at all.
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Exactly one year ago, I was being taken to hospital in an ambulance with severe Covid.
Today, I had my first dose of the Oxford Astra Zeneca vaccine.
It's been a journey.
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Any name on the back of the new shirt is looking like a gamble.
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Actually got a couple of bits of unpleasant "banter" on the way home. You've beaten a newly promoted team to go four wins from four and you still had to have a go. Rattled much?
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Google reminded me four days late, but it was 8 years ago that we went to our first away game. Club was battling relegation and offered free coach travel to Villa. Crazy atmosphere, last minute winner - just the best day. So we did it again. And again...
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I have less than 1% desire to go all the way to Manchester to see a potential battering when I could watch it from home. Unfortunately, the less than 1% has won through. Train booked - now let me see those overpriced match tickets!
#FFC
🏆
Our
#EmiratesFACup
tie at
@ManCity
will take place on Sunday 26th January (1pm), live on the BBC.
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Any comment on this,
@HACKETTREF
? You seem keen to get stuck into the debate. Would love to hear your views on the below decisions. Naturally you'll be completely open minded as it's not possible for a referee to be biased, is it?
@talkSPORT
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And Brazil are doing this WITHOUT Muniz!
Some effort.
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Took forever, but got the photo!
With grateful thanks to Mitro,
@ThomasCairney
,
@RyanSessegnon
and
@FulhamFC
.
#FFC
#COYW
#FulhamFamily
#FULFORCE
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Mitrovic has not only outscored Tottenham and Leeds this season - he's outscored both of them put together!
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Imagine if this was Maguire instead of Fred. Putney Bridge would have to be barricaded to prevent all the Fulham fans from trying to hurl themselves into the Thames.
Rumours circulating that Marco Silva got off his coach just to speak to Fred, interesting.. 👀
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He didn't lead us - he just failed to prevent us.
In two Championship seasons as a manager, Scott Parker has led two clubs to promotion up to the Premier League 👏
⚪️ Fulham: 2020
🍒 Bournemouth: 2022
#AFCB
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@allisonpearson
If there are six potential cases of reinfection in the world, that represents a chance of 0.00001102%. Are we seriously going to live our lives trying to avoid something with such a low level of risk?
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Regarding Wolves, Villa and Derby. They've all had blinding seasons so far, and they all had moments of real quality against us. The fact that we made them look inept is not down to lapses on their part - it's because we are far, far better. We just started a lot slower.
#FFC
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Pereira with an assist, but Tosin would have defended that.
If you don't go full Fulham, you're not going to win.
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Oh I do like to be beside the seaside
Oh I do like to follow
#FFC
Oh I do like to walk into the Prem Prem Prem...
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