This is my Christmas card this year, I’m really happy with how it turned out, which I am,

@LifeGuru__ Phwoar, she doesn’t half,

@dianadogsegg Yes darling, it was only because I went to a gentleman’s club and befriended another Turkish bloke, he had me on some right spirits I must say,

@bigboi1923783 @TimmyUk Po him up a fo,

@Steven59066 You can’t say I didn’t warn you, if you start sneezing and coughing, it’s them,

@Steven59066 It is about you, it’s about details of the pest release attack on your flat, the story goes while Mini Tom was busy tampering with the BSTV phonelines, Callum Adam’s drove to your road and released pests down the drains, to crawl up through your sink and toilet,

@NotCunty He is a right dirty fiddler pal, I like that song Kendrick Lamar did about him I must say, he needs locking up

@Steven59066 I’ve had another phone call, it isn’t good news,

@TimmyUk Why don’t you love it then,

@Steven59066 That some nasty troll has released earth elementals in your flat,

@Steven59066 It is true, multiple people have told me,

@Steven59066 I got a phone call from the GNOME committee, I spoke to them about this time last year if u remember, they called to tell me they noticed your flat is teeming with earth elementals, and they think it’s an inside job, as in, someone like mini Tom released them in there,

@Steven59066 Sorry to hear that pal, get well soon anyway, today I’m in Paris, I’m not ok either because I have a hangover, 🤕

@Steven59066 Your flat as in your home address, I had a phone call from the committee,

@NotCunty Bloody hell, he has a better arse than most women,

@AJBthe5th

@TimmyUk Are you implying the head nurse is a Basmati pal,

@AJBthe5th Yes pal by my wicked mother in law, every cow has its use I suppose, moooo

@AJBthe5th Cheers pal,