There was a woman with 2kids in a shop being a bitch to the young lad serving her.He said they're lovely twins
you have,she snapped back at him "theyre not
twins he's 7 and she's 9 why do you think
they're twins. "Because i couldnt imagine
anyone riding you twice" he says 😂😂
Good morning from Dublin 👋🏽💙was out last night when
this ugly bastid came up to me, squeezed me
arse and says Give me your number sexy."
I says Have you got a pen?"
He smiled and says Yes
I says Well fook off back to it, before the farmer notices your missin😉😂😂
Good morning from Dublin👋🏽💙was shopping in river island and saw a gorgeous dress. I says Excuse me, can I try that dress on in the window please
Will that be all
right?"
Manager replied Yes of course ye can. It will be good for business 😉😂😂
Good morning from Dublin👋🏽💙 a bloke went up to a random ginger lad and
asked "if you had 7 girls phone
numbers in one pocket and 8 in the other, what would you have?" he said
"id have 15 girls phone numbers"he said wrong, you'd have someone
else's trousers on you ginger cunt😂😂
I was in a club on Saturday night when this ugly bastid came up to me, squeezed me arse and said, "Give me your number sexy."
I said, "Have you got a pen?"
He smiled and said, "Yes."
I said, "Well fook off back to it, before the farmer notices your missin 🤣
Good morning from Dublin👋🏽💙A Dublin lad takes his girlfriend home for the first time and introduces her to his parents.
This is Amanda.
His dad jumps up and says, It's a fucking what?😉🤣🤣
many complain about life and the cost of living etc I am sitting on a sofa that costs€3k lovely an cool infront of an air-con unit costs€2k watchin a film on a 70smart TV
Im happy not a care in the world not even the staff at Currys who keep askin me to leave can ruin me day😉
Good morning from Dublin👋🏽💙The teacher called
little Johnny to her
desk and said, The
essay you wrote
about your pet doggo
is word-for-word the
same as your
brother's. What do
you have to say for
yourself?
Of course it is said
little Johnny. "It's the
same fooken dog😂😂😂
Dinner and pints with me da😍2 years today ye left us ma💔Missing you isn't the problem... It's knowing
you're never coming back
that's Killing me💔hope we are doing a good job looking after da for ya💙💙
Good morning from Dublin👋🏽💙 Had a terrifying
experience last
night. I was alone
in the house having a
bath………… when all of
a sudden....I felt a
tap on me
shoulder🛀🤣🤣
Good morning from Dublin 👋🏽💙i was out last night when
this ugly bastard came up to me, squeezed my
arse and said, "Give me your number sexy."
I said, "Have you got a pen?"
He smiled and said, "Yes."
I says,
"Well fuck off back to it, before the
farmer notices your missing😉🤣🤣
I’ve shared me mad funny life wit yiz😂now I’m sharing d serious 👀can yiz all light a candle for me ma😇she’s on her own and v sick😭I hate COVID-19 😡 🇮🇪🇮🇪💙
She’s up til sun nite🎄🎄😂last yr we finished 9th when she was up💙I’ll try anything to stay up😂but I’m keeping me curtains closed cos d neighbours already think I’m off me rocker😂😂😂
#lufc
There was a woman with 2kids in a shop being a bitch to the young lad serving her. He said they're lovely twins
you have, she snapped back at him "theyre not
twins he's 7 and she's 9 why do you think
they're twins cos i couldnt imagine
anyone riding you twice he says😉🤣🤣
Good morning from Dublin👋🏽💙 out for me run this morning I was tryin to cross a busy road and a bloke walkin past on his way to work said there’s a zebra crossing 50 yrds up the road. I said well I hope he’s havin better fooken luck than me🙃🇮🇪🇮🇪
Good morning from Dublin👋🏽💙 I was arguing with a bloke
in the pub who said he was a big pop star in the 80s.
I didn't believe him but he was adamant😉🤣🤣
Good morning from a frizzen Dublin👋🏽💙 A policeman spotted an elderly lady knitting while driving,
Pullover!" he shouted
No, it's a scarf!" she replied and drove off🤣🤣
Good morning from Dublin 👋🏽💙A dying husband in a hospital bed
asks his wife,
Our 7th child always looked different from the
other six. Did he have a different father?"
His wife,crying uncontrollably
answers,
"Yes."
He asks, Who's is it?
His wife replies,Yours😉🤣🤣
This night in 1981 800 people went to the stardust nightclub and 48 young people never came home after a devastating fire 💔it will never be forgotten by us hopefully the families will get the answers 💙
Good morning from Dublin👋🏽a girl in a Jewellers admiring a big diamond ring she leans down for a closer look a little fart slips out.Hoping no one heard she asks how much is that 1. Jeweller says
Madam If you farted lookin at it you'll shit yourself when I tell ye the price😉🤣🤣
Good morning from Dublin👋🏽💙I’ve no work so I’m gonna jump back into me bed🙃Happy birthday to me🥳🥳
What kind of music should you avoid if you have balloons at your party 🎉 🎈Pop music😉🤣🤣
good morning from Dublin 👋🏽💙I Saw a man standing on one leg at an ATM. Me being a nosey cow I asked him what he
was doing
He said: "Just checking my
balance😉🤣🤣
2 tourists were driving through Wales. At Llanfairpwllgwyogoch they stopped for lunch. they asked the waitress Before we order I wonder if you could settle an argument Can you pronounce where we are, very slowly
The girl leaned over and said Burrr… gurrr… King 😉🤣🤣
Good morning from Dublin 👋🏽💙3 Irish men in a pub called Mick, Pat & Tat. The barman says Are you all related?Mick Yeah we're triplets. Barman says,
how come u & Pat are 6ft tall &Tat is only 4ft tall?Well said Mick,Me & Pat were breast fed, so there was no tit for Tat😉🤣🤣
Cheers to dat fooken day🍻I was doing palliative for one of me faves😭 and she says Jackie I promise ye I won’t pop me clogs on ur watch cos I know ye hate paperwork 🤣🤣
Good morning from Dublin👋🏽💙I was walking down the road last night and first got hit by a violin, then a clarinet and then a piano.
I think it was an orchestrated
attack😉🤣🤣
Good morning from Dublin👋🏽💙 I changed my GPS voice in me car to Bono the other day. now all the streets have no names and I still haven't found what I'm looking for😉🤣🇮🇪
Good morning from Dublin 👋🏽 I was arguing with a fella in the pub who said he was a big pop star in the 80s.I didn't believe him but he was adamant😉😂😂🇮🇪
A blind guy in a bar says Wanna hear a blonde joke
B4 ye tell it ye should know.D bartender IS blonde,
the bouncer is.I am, guy sittin next to me is.D fella to your right is
Do you still
wanna tell that joke
The blind guy says
No not if I'm gonna
have to explain it 5 times😉😂
Good morning from Dublin👋🏽💙 Arrived home last night to find a Pretty, Young Woman Grouting the Bathroom Wall Singing 'It's a Heartache, nothin' but a Fools Game.
I thought to meself, she's a Bonnie Tiler😉🤣🤣
Good morning from Dublin👋🏽Professor was giving a lecture on anatomy and it was a bit boring so he tried to lighten the mood
He asked a young woman in the crowd
Do you know what your arsehole is doing while you're having an orgasm?
She replied Probably golfing with his mates🤣
To the man dat just abused me at d garage🤦🏼♀️ dunno what I did👀 this is for u🖕🏽when I jumped back in me car I sobbed 😭as I say ye never know what’s goin on in peoples life’s just be kind🙄I’m grand now I pulled up me big girl knickers 💙💙
#justbekind