Neez
@Im_A_Weirdo
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Bourbon and Amy Winehouse.
Red Sox. Lakers. Saints.
Joined November 2009
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Find your person. Do all the weird shit together. Live happily ever after. That’s the plan.
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Welp, just got an email that there’s Krispy Kreme doughnuts in the conference room. I just had breakfast but let me mossy on down there and see what’s going on.
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You know how good it feels for someone to tell you that they appreciate you or that they’re proud of you? Just because?!
Listen.
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So my best friend turned 90 today. But let her tell it, she turned 21 again. . . for the 69th time.
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@somalijawn
“You doing me dirty . . . “
“How we let it get like this . . .”
“That nigga can’t save your soul . . .”
“Haven’t even heard from you . . .”
“How can you live with yourself . . .”
“Your ma would be ashamed of ya”
“Ungrateful . . . “
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@notChvnel
The parenting I’m here for! Gotta look them straight in their eyes after defeat. “YOU 👏COULD👏NEVER!👏”
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Make her feel secure. Make her feel beautiful inside and out. Give her what she expects from you. Do exactly and even more than you said you’ll do. And watch her open up and blossom like you wouldn’t believe.
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Women always look the best when they first wake up. Fresh face. Bed head. Full lips. Sniffles. It’s just pure and beautiful.
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I finally talked to her! She’s safe and sound. Crisis adverted lol
Every night I talk to my 91 year old grandma. Same time like clockwork. Easily my most favorite human bean in the world. She’s not answering or calling me back tonight and I am in shambles. I’m sure I’m tripping but listen . . .
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My daughters have taken me to a whole new realm that I wasn’t prepared for. Sephora and Ulta are the DEVIL, you hear me?!
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The Super Bowl is on and it doesn’t even feel like a big deal. The game, the commercials, nothing. Is it just me?
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Find someone that makes you happy. Even on your worst days. That’s the goal.
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I stretched my arms out to give my daughter a good morning hug and as soon as she got close to me she “hit the woah” and walked the other direction. And y’all wonder why dads leave for cigarettes and never come back home.
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I told my oldest daughter I went to therapy today. She told me “I noticed you haven’t been yourself for months and I’m glad you went. I’m proud of you”. She’s 14.
DO YALL KNOW HOW HAPPY THAT MAKES ME ?!
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Y’all wanna see my most favoritest person in the wholest widest world?!
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That wine tipsy hits you different! Like, why am I this sexy right now?
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Every night I talk to my 91 year old grandma. Same time like clockwork. Easily my most favorite human bean in the world. She’s not answering or calling me back tonight and I am in shambles. I’m sure I’m tripping but listen . . .
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My daughter got her Learner’s Permit today 😒. I don’t know how or why Mrs. Puff allowed this to happen, but she’s super stoked about it.
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When she gets all my puns and rolls with my corny, sexual innuendos:
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Imma say this and imma get out of y’all’s hair. Learn your person. Hold your person. Be there for your person. Listen to your person. Support your person. Understand your person. And everything will just flourish.
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People get offended by some of the STRANGEST things.
For example: The truth.
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You ever look at your kid(s) and realize you actually need them more than they need you?
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Stuff like this just makes me happy. My daughter trying to understand that she’s her great grandmother. The beauty. The generations. It makes my heart full.
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I’m always jealous of people who have perfect families. Or cool families. Or understanding families. Or funny families. Or big families. Cherish it. A lot of us don’t even have an ounce of that.
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My youngest daughter has been doing gymnastics for two weeks now and she’s being moved up from Beginner to Intermediate. She can already do a round-off! Y’all care.
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I’m becoming entirely too good at staying home and doing absolutely nothing. This may be my new super power.
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Did you know that there are people out here going through life RAW? No alcohol. No weed. No medications. Just facing life head on straight up with everything going on in the world and everything that’s thrown your way? Whew. I applaud y’all. Truly.
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Feed her. Make her laugh. Reassure her daily. Make her feel safe. It’s really that simple.
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My view for the next few days. Pancreatitis always hits her a little harder this time of the year.
Prayers up for a speedy recovery.
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So have prom dresses always been THIS damn expensive?! Or am I just being a dad right now?
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Dude. I hydroplaned off the interstate this morning, veered all the way over into the grass, and ended up on the opposite side of the entrance ramp. Easily the scariest shit I’ve witnessed in my life! I’m still shaking. But I’m fine and God is good!
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Are y’all old enough to remember when a bag of chips used to be 25 cents?
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It’s officially been seven days since I’ve had any alcohol. Gotta celebrate the small victories.
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I’m going to Target and only getting what I came here for. I’m claiming it!
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Normally around this time on a Saturday night, I’d be 7/8 of the way drunk and devouring Waffle House. I miss outside.
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Aaliyah: (watching me fill my face with pancakes buried in syrup) “So how are those workouts going, Dad?”
Me:
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You ever called in to work and they try to persuade you to come in anyway? I’m not calling to bargain, I’m just calling to relay the message lol.
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My daughter got inducted into the National Junior Honor Society. Or whatever. No big deal.
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If they make you feel safe and like you’re at home, cherish it. Lock it down and throw away the key. That is where you belong.
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I’m not sure who needs to hear this, but therapy is DOPE! I highly recommend it. Especially when you go in truthful and completely open. It’s a judgement free zone and you can just let your hair down one time for an hour a week.
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Ladies: We need reassurance sometimes as well. We go through it and have insecurities just like y’all. We may seem one way the outside, but we’re all human at the end of the day.
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@theprettywxnter
She’s good to go. But those hours not hearing from her threw me for a loop. All is well though. She gotta stop scaring me like that!
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I just realized I drove all the way home from work without playing any music at all. Just silence. Am I a serial killer?!
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You never realize how nasty and freaky you REALLY are until you’re fully comfortable with someone and they have you alllllllll the way open.
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I crave this woman. Endlessly. Like my mouth waters at just the thought of her.
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Buy her a weighted blanket. It’s cold outside, she’s iron deficient, and you know she only ate water and coffee today.
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Therapy has shown me that I am both dope as fuck and at the same time just stupid as fuck. The correlation is still blurry but I’m tuned in until the next episode.
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My grandma hinted last night that she wanted a new blanket. When she already has a GAZILLION of them! Smh.
Short story long, I’m headed to Marshall’s to buy a dozen more.
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I’m still tripping off how my mom told me . . .
this morning . . .
that she wants a dining room set . . .
FOR CHRISTMAS . . .
FROM ME!
Shady Pines can’t happen soon enough.
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I’m eating King Cake with my daughter and she yells “WHY IS THERE A BABY IN HERE?!”
I told her that she won and she’s queen and it brings good luck and all she had to say back was “I could have choked and died. How is that good luck?”
Touché. Bastard. Touché.
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Fellas.
Open up more. Communicate more. People genuinely want to listen and help and make your days/life better. Let them in.
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I don’t know how many times I have to say this, but listen.
If you KNOW you have Covid, STAY YOUR ASS AT HOME!
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So Aaliyah did a thing today.
Say hello to the newest member of the National Junior Honor Society.
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My grandma is having surgery today. If you know me, you know how much she means to me. So please keep her in your prayers.
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All women look better when they gain weight. I don’t care. I said it and I stand behind it.
Fight me. And jiggle. I’m here for it.
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@JaYunnaMonae
@lilmiss_jordan
I had to learn and understand this the hard way. Can’t take it personal. We all deal with and handle things differently. Just gotta respect it and step aside for a bit.
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Listen. I know we’re off for a few days. We’ve been lazy over the weekend. That’s coo. We deserve it. But it’s time to knock out that shit that needs to be done around the house that we’ve been putting off.
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Listen.
If you have the flu, don’t come to work.
If your kid has the flu, don’t send them to school.
If you’re sick, I’m sick of you.
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Find someone who makes you feel a little less alone in your days. That’s it.
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Love on her. Feed her. Reassure her. Let her know she’s beautiful on the days where she doesn’t feel it. Be her peace. I promise it’ll take you to wherever you want to be.
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Had dinner with my oldest daughter tonight and I let her ask me all the questions she’s always wanted to ask me. It was dope. That’s really my best friend, man.
She still ain’t shit though.
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I still can’t believe Lil Wayne had me in the club in 2008 yelling “CAAALLLLL MEEE so I can make it juicy for ya!”. Smh. I’m so glad I got my life together.
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Wine hits ENTIRELY different. Got me feeling all pretty and shy and shit.
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I paid it forward in the drive-thru this morning for the car behind me. This stimmy has me acting TOTALLY different.
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My coworkers fail to realize that we are coworkers. Not friends. Not a “family. But people that work beside each other for 40 hours a week. No, you can’t borrow money. No, I won’t help you move this weekend. No, I don’t want to see pictures of your kids. No, I don’t have Facebook
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My stomach to me every time I even THINK about drinking milk or chocolate milk:
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I don’t think it’s fully hit me yet that my daughter starts high school in two weeks. I just want her to be tiny and mute again. 🥺🥺🥺
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I wish I could disappear from everything for a day or three and then just come back like nothing happened.
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I told my daughter earlier today that I was gonna shave my beard off. Her response was:
“Well who’s gonna be my daddy?”
Like . . . What?
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Have y’all ever had to cut a parent off? I’m trying to make sure I’m not tripping about it. I feel bad, but at the same time, I feel liberated. Am I going to Hell?!
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Sometimes I just need to know. Don’t make me think. Don’t make me assume. Don’t make me guess. Just lay it out for me.
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My daughter waited until I got off of work to want to go and get her nails done so we can “spend time together”. No, you little jerkoff, you want me to go since it’s time for a new full set instead of a fill-in. I’m learning! Fuck that!
. . . .
I’m still going though.
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There’s a 56 year old guy I work with and he lost his daughter to suicide last year. So every month since he’s gotten a tattoo of something that reminds him or her and that’s just super dope to me.
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You ever just want someone to lay on you? All weight? Dead weight? Just comfort, security, and breathing?
No?
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