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@IanNdamwesiga
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Pinned Tweet
KAMPALA EKAAYE🙌
I entered a very reputable local food rest'rant in Wandegz today and sat next to a random smartly dressed woman. We never exchanged a word throughout. As we ate, she boldly cut on my matooke and added to hers. I paid and left instantly.
What would you have done?
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But wait, as if we studied with this ki guy at Kigezi High School.
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JUST IN:
Prof Augustus Nuwagaba to become the new Governor Bank of Uganda.
Congratulations Prof, and Uganda!
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People in this car eat roadside sugarcanes (a very good thing) and then litter the waste in the road (a very bad thing). If you think the waste looks bad in your car, it looks worse in our roads. Also, in your car it affects you alone, whereas in the road it affects all of us.
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BREAKING 🚨🚨🚨🚨😳😳😳😳
Papa Were has been re-arrested this morning. He was picked from where he stays by plain clothed men and driven off to an unknown location.
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Where does Bombo Road Stop?
Where does Kampala Road start?
Where does Jinja Road start?
Thanks
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A taxi driver has showed us a panya from Rukungiri to Kabale via Ntinda
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How can a full Hon Minister do broker work in public spaces?
Standards, Bro, Standards!
4 Bedroom house for sale on 100x100 size land in Bwebajja located in the poshest area if interested call my Attorney on 0785647112.
Reserve Price 720 Million only.
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BREAKING 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
Canary Mugume leaves Next Media amid rumors of falling out with boss Kin. Details to follow shortly
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At Kigezi High School, we studied with a guy called Jacko who had studied Olevel at Chaapa.
So while at Chaapa, he had watched a movie in which Jet Li had died. And he is these guys who thought movies are real.
So while at Kigezi we were in the TV Room and they put a latest Jet
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The Ntare bus driver (Juma) was always competing with the Chaapa driver (Sikukulu) in smoking cigarettes.
One day, we had a trip to Kampala, and Juma smoked two packets of cigarettes nonstop without releasing the smoke and set off from Mbarara. He released the smoke in Masaka.
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A guy called Saayi from Kabale who was a bicycle racer made a record when he rode a bicycle from Kabale to Kampala in 3 hours.
One time before that, on the slope to Kabale town from Rugarama Cathedral, he peddled the bicycle and the hind tyre bypassed the front tyre 😂😂😂🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
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Samson Kasumba behaves like a storeyed pit latrine. Even if you use the highest level on top, the things will go straight down😂😂😂🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
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That guy behind in a round hat was our Chairperson Scripture Union at Ntare
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A friend has just called me to meet him at Cafe Javas Parliamentary Avenue and told me to be very quick. A few seconds later, he called and told me to wear a coat, at least.
So I put on my coat and jumped on a bajaj. Immediately I reached, he came out to pick me as if he had
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Forget Ya Levis
At Ntare, we took a musical concert to Bweras in 2010
I was miming that Bwekiri hit song of Rabadaba
While performing, girls carried me and kept throwing me in the air and catching me and the main hall erupted
When back at Ntare, I was suspended for the havoc!
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Phone snatchers have become phone snatchers here in Namboole jam.
A guy has snatched my phone and disappeared. I chased him and caught him, but he never had it. Kumbe another one snatched it from him and put it back in my pocket.
The thing is bloody here 😂😂😂😂🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
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At Kigezi High, we played Bishop’s cup at a pitch in Bubaare, but if I tell you about the pitch you will say I’m lying.
The pitch had a hill in the middle and the goalkeeper of one side couldn’t see the other side. He would just wait for guys to randomly come down the hill😂😂😂
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Tabz once invited us to a drink up in Kikoni back then when he was at Olympia. We turned up like 15 of us and started drinking.
After some hours of drinking, as the hunger started to set in, we all started to look at each other not knowing the way forward in regard to eating.
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Breaking 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
Sheila Nduhukire appointed Deputy Government Spokesperson, a position that has been vacant since the passing on of Late Rtd Col Shaban Bantariza in October 2020. Details to follow
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In Kiruddu hospital, a woman has given birth to a baby who is smartly dressed up🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
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We just survived a serious accident on Mukono road on our way to Kampala.
Our car collided with another one heads-on and we found ourselves seated in the other car going back to Mukono.
Passengers of the other car are now in our car moving to Kampala.
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Know your NIN (National Identification Number) off-head.
1. It has 14 characters
2. The 14 characters are a mixture of letters and numbers
3. The NIN has no spaces or punctuations in it.
4. The first two characters are letters (CM or CF) representing C=Citizen and
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My friend Dziz 😂😂🙌🏽🙌🏽
The Dad gave him shoes to brush for him some morning rushing for work.
The Dad asked him for the shoes later and he said he is finishing the 2nd shoe. He asked for the 1st one to be putting on as he finishes the 2nd. Dziz said he started with the 2nd one
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Some guys from central schools introduced diseases we had never heard of at Ntare. Sinuses was the winner.😂😂
Oscar even had an inhaler. I think it was the first in Mbarara🙌🏽🙌🏽
My friend Walz didn’t know it and he stole and used it as a spray perfume 💀💀
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Who else did UNEB coming from home, being guarded by police?
🙋♂️🤣💀
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We played Christmas Cup in the village some years back and our parish went to the finals. The area MP had put a bull and some cash for the winners.
We played the final and it ended in a draw. We played extra time, still a draw. We went to penalties, the first 5 for each team
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From frame 3, I can aver that you are a law student or at least undertaking some form of legal inquiry.
Now, take what am about to tell you very seriously.
1. Stop using LawTeacher () with immediate effect, for the following reasons;
a) it has very
Guuuyyysss; WE NYUK!!!!
(Okay; me I’ll be finishing the day’s work from
@clamato_ug
🙈🙈😂😂)
Pass by too; it’s opposite Kirabo Complex in Bukoto
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I've been officially crowned as one of the very few "PERFECT SCORERS" in the 100-year history of our mighty Kigezi High School.
25/25 UNEB UACE 2012.
Officially a Hall of Famer 😎😎😎
#KigeziAt100
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This ka garage here in Ndeeba 😂😂🙌🏽🙌🏽
They don’t have jacks for lifting cars. Instead there is a very strong mukiga guy called Pawulo who lifts the cars and the mechanics go under them and work.
😂😂😂😂😂🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽💀💀💀💀💀💀
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I actually know the real true story behind this ki motoka
But this time you have to first say I’m not lying. I don’t want to waste my energy telling you the story and then after you all say I’m lying.
So, we all agree that I’m not lying then I jazz.
We agree?
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Thieves broke into my house like at 5.30am as I was watching a very interesting movie. They liked the movie and decided to first tie me and watch it and steal after.
By the time they finished the movie, the sun was already out and they couldn’t take anything.
They just left 😂
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I know this Mzungu.
He is a pickpocketer along Sir Apollo Road
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For clarity, this is not my usual kiboozi.
Our leader
@_papawere
has been taken!
Please share for awareness 🥹🥹🥹🥹
BREAKING 🚨🚨🚨🚨😳😳😳😳
Papa Were has been re-arrested this morning. He was picked from where he stays by plain clothed men and driven off to an unknown location.
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We all had guys who enjoyed high school as if it is campus, but no one will ever come close to Timo🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽😂😂😂😂😂
In his s3, he turned his dormitory into a bar and organized dancing competitions, Karaokes and bucket nights.
Students stopped escaping to go to bars and went
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A restaurant here in Lungujja sells raw food.
You select the dish you want on the menu, then they give you all raw ingredients to make the dish you’ve selected and you enter their kitchen and cook for yourself. 😂😂🙌🏽🙌🏽
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In s6 at Kigezi, our OB Rugunda came as chief guest on sports day.
As he went through the students to greet us, he landed on one of the s4 students (Abzy) and greeted him very warmly and they talked for like 10 minutes.
It turned out that Abzy had studied with Rugunda at Kigezi
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Pascal was a new student in our P5 who was very good, in fact exceptional, at high jump. But he hadn’t told anyone about it yet.
He happened to come as a new student in the term that had sports day. So we used to go to the pitch everyday after classes to practice.
He used to
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Here at Nkumba lights where the other accident happened, there is a guy who has exhibited the highest level of cowardice.
The lights stopped us for about 100 seconds. As they kept counting down, he kept nervously looking behind in case any huge car is approaching. When he
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Free our leader immediately or we are now marching for his freedom, still to Parliament!
Guno gujja nyuma
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There is this guy who puts his phone next to his ear as if tapping a voice note.
The whole time.
I was seated next to him in the bus.
Kumbe he was listening to a movie without looking at the screen
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We had a Deputy HM called Matrix at Kigezi High School.
The Legendary Matrix.
He came to wake us up for morning prep one morning and caught up with me red handed on our dormitory’s doorway trying to escape to go and sleep in another dormitory. That meant that I could suffer a
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I started taking my tea like 3 minutes ago at a kafunda here
Now the tea woman is saying there’s an emergency. Sugar is done and there’s a customer for tea.
So that I should help her and allow the guy to mix his tea with mine and shake shake so that his also gets some ka sugar!
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We had a guy called Kenno in primary who was older than his dad 🙌🏽🙌🏽💀💀😂😂
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A guy called Kabandize in Lumumba Hall did something we will never forget.
There was this thing of keeping our properties with the interior minister at end of semester so that we don’t move with luggage at home. The interior minister would keep all our properties in the big TV
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Our leader, PAPA WERE SALIM, and other youths were unfairly remanded to Luzira until 30th August.
Tomorrow, Thursday, we shall visit them and reassure them that they are our heroes that shot the first bullet of the movement.
WE ARE GETTING STRONGER AND MORE RADICAL BY THE DAY!
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HAPPY PAPA WERE DAY!
The team-leader of the Kiboozi Movement Uganda is gonna be freed today!
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There is a small village in Mbale here where it is ever raining. The rain has never stopped since 2005. Not even for one minute 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
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But Banyankole 😂😂😂🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Some guy here just said ngu “Bakanta aha gunpoint y’omusyo” 💀💀💀
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What is happening in Gulu is serious you guys. I was the only one behind news.
I went to a lodge and paid and they gave me a key. I entered my room and slept. In the middle of the night, I heard a chic tapping me and telling me to extend.
Kumbe nga the lodges are for two two
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At Ntare, we played a friendly game with St Joseph’s College Ombaci from Arua but those guys had very hard legs eh eh eh 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Our captain Barireere tackled one of the Ombaci guys so harshly, stamping his boot spikes roughly onto the guy’s leg.
Silence followed as we all
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In P5, we had a teacher of SST who was transferred to our school from a Kampala school and he used to lie a lot about Kampala things.
Every Monday in class, he would tell us that he was in Kampala over the weekend and starts to lie to us about things of Kampala.
This one time
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We have drunk beer in a bar here in Nakulabye and it’s the OC Police Station who brought the bill 💀💀💀💀
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Some bars can mislead us.
Now sincerely on a Wednesday, why this bucket night of a 12 beers at 1k? 😞😞😞🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
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The way graduation photos always flood the TL, how come no one else is posting grad pics from Cavendish?
Only one person graduated? 😂💀
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I’ve met a Boda guy riding two Boda-Bodas at the same time and both of them with passengers. 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
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Counsel has touched ground to inspect the soil with enkayana on it >> [ Locus visit] 😎👊🏽
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At our school, the Sosh President was a very cunning guy and he convinced the HM that Sosh money should be included on school fees of that term to make sure that everyone pays, for proper planning. The HM allowed.
The term begun and f4 and f6 guys paid extra 50k on school fees
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There is that Mzungu with a bike that was always in Makerere. He looked like a film star.
One day he saw a beautiful girl from Mary Stuart Hall, he liked her but didn’t know how to approach her.
He decided to fake that he is a student and he contested for Guild President. The
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The mainest Bonshe story.
A thread.
So there was this guy called Kashishani (of the Kabali FC cohort) who slept in Aggrey House. Of course, he chopped morning prep every day. So that week, the Mighty Bonshe happened to be on duty with none other than Kadeso, and so we...
1/4
Ntare guys, I present to you the Mighty Bonshe 😂......Share your story
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I once posted “Lunch is just a mindset” during lunch hours.
A random guy DM’d me telling me to send my number and he puts some lunch
I thought the man was joking but I sent my number.
Didn’t the man deposit 4M shillings on my line!
He said it’s for my lunch for a full year!
What is the kindest thing someone from X (Twitter) has ever done for you??😊
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There is a building here in Kisaasi whose 2nd floor is above the 3rd floor.😂😂😂🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
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Guys first come ko to Namanve all of you. I want you to see this for yourselves and not say I’m lying.
It’s has started raining heavily but the rain is coming from down in the ground going up to the sky!
I swear 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
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How about we boycott all products of our celebrities who have not stood with us?
Shan their music, radio and TV shows, their concerts.
Let’s make it unbearable for them, the same way corruption is making it unbearable for us!
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But how does this online sauna thing work?
Guys are here on their phones seriously sweating, mbu it’s an online sauna.
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What happened to our school?😭😭
Why are we admitting up to Aggregate 8?
What changed?
Looks like we went so so low on this one!
Did UNEB grading at p7 change so that 8 is now like a 5 of back then?
The language of the communique is as if begging pupils to come and join.
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In primary we liked things of saying that the first one to finish his food will eat the other’s food. It was like a mini eating competition.
So some new guy called Januario joined us in like p5 there. The guy was bloody.
I enticed him into the competition not knowing him very
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Nga this enumerator didn’t ask me anything at all🤔🤔🤔
He just looked at me and said “I understand bro” and moved to the next house.
What’s up?
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Bakiga Nation is getting bloody.
A guy has drunk and he went to the MC and put his name to announce it that he has got lost 😂😂😂😂😂🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
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In high school, there was this ka trend of breakdancing. Guys used to chop the ka breakdance and throw it to the next guy who also breaks it and throws it to the next one like that like that.
One Monday evening during the school weekly assembly, some guy who had just won Mr
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At Kigezi High we had a ritue of escaping from school every Visiting Day to go and have fun in town because everyone had money that day.
On the VD of second term in S6, the Dad of some guy from Kinkiizi saw us in town as he was going to get a taxi back to Kinkiizi and he
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Bakiga Nation 😂🙌🏽
Some guys have been spotting a very beautiful chic dancing alone. They thought everyone else has feared her so that’s why a very beautiful chic is alone.
So they quickly held an emergency meeting and one of them attacked.
Kumbe she has no teeth at all.
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Nyowe Ndamwesiga, nd’omusigyi wa Nyabushabi kai ndazira ente y’engoobe
RUKUNDO EGUMEHO 🫶🏽🤞🏽
#BakigaNation24
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At Kigezi, some guy got a serious tooth ache and he asked for permission to go home for treatment.
He came back with these things in his teeth and the HM expelled him immediately 😂😂😂😂😂🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
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But at least you all know that Boda guys don’t take buses to their upcountry homes for Christmas holidays. They ride their bodas.
First agree that I’m not lying on this then I tell you the story of Karamuzi, some Boda guy who parks at Novea House in Kikoni.
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I’m here in a Lungujja kafanda restaurant for lunch but ehhh 😂😂😂🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
You enter and they start by giving you all food, and then they ask you what to remove. 😂😂😂
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Mpozi did I tell you guys the story of the woman in our village who gave birth to herself?
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Trying to stay in the dormitory when the teachers are chasing other students for morning prep was the most interesting experience in high school.
One morning, a teacher called Kadeso who was the toughest entered our room and started waking every one up bed by bed, corner by
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What combination did you do at A’level?
I want to see something
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It is raining these ends and I am at the exact point where the rain is stopping. It is hitting me on one leg while the other leg is dry!
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I have a neighbor who is a Northerner and speaks broken luganda.
His wife is a muganda and she almost finished him today because of miscommunication.
He was talking about this blender that makes juice and saying he likes it so much because it makes very good juice better than
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Papa-Were once called me when I was in my own things and took me to buy for me lunch at Dream.
I was so broke with no coin on me, and I was like this is a blessing from above.
On reaching, he told me to ask for what I want, that I shouldn’t fear anything. Then I ordered for
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Some people are too specific for life🙌🏽
We had a guy at Lumumba who liked fried cassava from some roadside woman in Matugga after a green Petrol Station.
He used to walk from Lumumba Hall in Makerere to Matugga to buy cassava of 1k every morning and evening 😂😂😂😂😂🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
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As you’re all making noise, MC Ollo is chilling with Sasha Ferguson here at Speke Apartments. They look very happy together 😂😂💀💀
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AGADESA AND THE MAGICIAN: EPISODE 1
One evening in s4 we escaped from school to go to a trade show in Kakyeka stadium.
As we had just entered like this, we found a group of guys watching a man showcasing magic. A very big crowd had gathered.
As stubborn as we were, our group
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BREAKING 🚨🚨
Gen Kale Kayihura bounces back as IGP, pending verdict of Parliamentary Appointments Committee scheduled for next week:
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One of guys that have come here to conduct census is selling the iPad given to him to take the census details at 200k.
Oh Uganda 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
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We had a guy called Bahati in our village soccer team but ehhhhhh, the guy had energy in his foot.
He was a specialist for taking shots outside the box so in corners and free kicks he would be standing outside the box waiting for the ball to be cleared in his direction and he
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