Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
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That episode in Prison Break when everyone was chasing 5 million dollars but this guy was running to Mexico to prevent his girl from getting married. Biggest simp in TV history
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So there's someone out here who eats this kinda babes, stresses them out and even cheats on them. Some men were born lucky out here damn!
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I haven't seen a better survivor in a TV show than this guy
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What's Antony doing man!! Just imagine if this was Greenwood
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If a bodyguard can chew Marjorie,Steve Harvey's wife despite Harvey's riches and social status, then it is impossible to satisfy a woman on this earth.
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Your woman should apologize to you when she catches you cheating on her with this one
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This kind of photos are very important when she finally decides to settle down for marriage. Dowry negotiating becomes much easier
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Tangu broke ninjas tugundue IPTV, Cricfy TV and other streams for football tuliacha DSTV kitambo sana.
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So Safaricom disabled the option for consumers to talk directly to the customer care service and replaced it with a computer that doesn't work? What happened to this company!
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Mbona wasilete bulb ya black, mtu akitaka kulala mchana anawasha giza inajaa kwa nyumba 🤔🤔
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Safaricom can't keep up with Starlink competition. Look at these insane speeds!
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As a man ,you should be smart enough to differentiate between A and B
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Kumbe mnachukua simu za Lipa mdogo mdogo expensive alafu mnazi unlock permanently na ni hivo "mnabuy" simu ya 100k at ksh 4500 only? Very wise.
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Steve Harvey's bodyguard and private chef on Marjorie while Harvey is on the podium preaching about making marriages work:
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We all have 24 hours a day. Samidoh anamanage kushughulikia mabibi wawili,watoto tano,achunge raia,aimbe mugithi na bado apate time ya kucheat. Wewe hata vyombo za last week hujaosha
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Mancity are rolling like the bright students in primary school who would have 350 marks na bado hujamwekea Maths, his favourite subject. Arsenal nao wako na 300 marks in all subjects na science aliekewa 88 badala ya 08 by mistake
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Usiwai toka exam room mapema hata kama hujui kitu. Njia hufunguka dakika ya 90+4.
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Ukiwai reverse pesa ya mama mboga ama kumlipa na "please call me" utaishi kustruggle in this life mpaka ushangae.
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Pastor Ezekiel and Mackenzie hiring a lawyer instead of praying like Prime apostle Paul and Silas for the gates of jail to break open has got to be the biggest fraud case of all time
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Huna iPhone,,huna OPPO,huna Samsung,,,,kwani unatumia nini wewe??
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Mtu anisaidie na screenshot ya simu iko 2% urgently please🙏Help a brother out
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Promissory coochie nayo mtu hufuatilia kama missing marks 4th year.
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Handling a virgin during sex is one of the worst experiences a man goes through, but hardly talked about
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Nilimdanganya mi ni accountant na yeye akanishow anafanya Safaricom 😂Leo nikiwa mjengo akakuja kuuza uji 😂😂💔
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Women should be mature enough to understand that men are too busy and can easily forget such information
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There are only 7 universities in Kenya:
1. The UON
2. Kenyatta University
3. JKUAT
4. Maseno University
5. Egerton University
6. Moi University
7. MMUST
The rest are polytechnics.
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Kwa bedsitter ni socket ndio hua inaamua venye utapanga nyumba 😂😂💔
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How come Riggy G has never recognised this guy upto date? He perfectly mimics him.
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98% of Billboards in this country and East Africa are owned by Magnate Ventures. Who owns this company?
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Nimetoa bra yake polepolee 🤤🤤nikasongesha panty yake side ya left 😋😋nikapata nafasi ya kuanika shati yangu 😂😂💔
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Ni pick up line gani moto uneza tumia ukikaa kando ya mrembo kwa mat? 😂 👇
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Fuliza limit ya 500 since 2019 kwani Safaricom hawaniamini 😂😂💔
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Kuna biashara zingine sijui how people make profit. Hawa watu huuza nguo in boutiques ,how many pieces can you sell in a month ndo ulipe rent ,bills za shop, employee na bado ubaki na profit?
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Ukiwai enda base ya FIFA upate msee mnono amevaa crocs na miwani, alafu anachukua team ndogo, don't dare touch that pad!
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Huko Kabarak University naskia kufanya retake/ supp costs 10k per paper. Huku maseno walijaribu kupandisha from ksh 200 to ksh 500 karibu madanda tuchome hyo University.
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Ocha nduthi ni cheap bana,,,unalipa 50 unapiga road trip hadi Lesotho
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Unaimba, "I'll live and die in Africa" 😂😂as if uko na option 😂😂💔
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Sikuizi fans wa Chelsea hupost lineups but posting results is where they draw the line
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How did Solomon have 700 wives and 300 concubines yet only had 3 sons? 😂
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Can someone explain how we inherited Adam's sins and not Solomon's wealth?
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Rashford is selfish,Onana can't save anything,VAR are against us, cost of living is unbearable, Petrol prices have increased 😭
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Hakuna coochie hushinda ya single mothers buana. Unapewa na roho moja. Alafu hawawezi kubali kushikwa na madiseases..wakufe waachie nani their loving kid? So uko sure hauezi contact disease.
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Mimi hushangaa huko USA ukicampaign time ya elections, unaweka nini kwa manifesto yako? Roads ziko fiti,maji iko sawa, health care facilities ziko sawa etc...so wao hupromise voters nini?
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Unasupport Man United, uko na type C charger, umekula Ugali na mrenda asubuhi ndo ukakunywa chai, uko na fuliza limit ya 3k☺️
Stress unatoa wapi jameni 😂
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Kuna siku nimeargue na coolkids ati Samsung is a bigger brand than Apple nikaulizwa ka nishai ona IPhone kwa lipa mdogo mdogo. I had to shut up
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Utajiri ni scam, nimeenda kujaribu kusoma novel nikisip juice,, nko glass ya tatu na sijatoka introduction 💔😂
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Zuchu tangu uimbe sukari huku bei imepanda,, tunakuomba usiimbe Unga juu huku tutakufa njaaa 😂💔💔
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Kama sijawai kufollow leo ndo ile siku. Let's go guys!
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Tarehe kama hii kupata mluhya Nairobi ni ngumu sana 😂😂💔
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Marrying a lazy wife and good in bed is very unexplainable to your family. When they complain unawaambia nyinyi hamjui huyu mtu buana
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Here is how to watch live sports on your android/Smart TV without paying for overpriced DSTV subscription.
You need only good internet. It's free of charge.
A thread
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No character's death hurt me more than Ragnar Lothbrok. Really hit a nerve
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Nimejiangalia kwa kioo hii asubuhi wueeeehhh 🙌🙌🙌cha muhimu niko na roho Safi 💔💔😂😂
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A mama mboga making 500 in a day lives a better life than an accountant making 35k in a month
No school will ever teach you that!!
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Unakimbiza kuku one hour alafu u napewa mguu,, childhood was scam bana😂😂💔
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Apart from kuita toothpaste zote Colgate,, what else identifies Kenyans?? 😂👇
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Marjorie to the bodyguard when Steve Harvey is writing a book on marriage counselling:
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A weekend without a man united match is equal to an international break
End of Tweet
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Sasa tuache stori za Messi na Euro,turudi kwa zetu,,, ukipewa 1M uneza tembea uchi CBD?? 😂 👇
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Fuliza inaitwaje in English juu nataka kuambia my friend in London anifulizie 😂💔
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Sikumwacha kwa ubaya,, hata kama ni wewe uneza date dem anajua lineup ya Newcastle mpaka subs?? 😂
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Leo ni birthday ya mkuu 😎😎HBD to me on this couples day
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Sa hizi Kuna gaidi ako single na kuna lele ako na madem watatu 😂😂💔
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Leo usiku mna maliza sherehe by saa nne kama entertainment ya highschool 😂😂
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Apart from kitunguu na nyanya,, ni bond gani ingine strong?? 😂 👇
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Btw mermaids hutoa wapi bra 🤔🤔hyo kitu imenisumbua akili miaka mingi 🤒
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A woman will sit you up this way to ask why you didn't tell her you are married ,,yet you simply forgot to
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What if Judas kissed the wrong man and Jesus came 3 days later and people said he resurrected?
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Ni nini ushai pata kwa nyumba ya mtu ukimvisit ukashangaa imefika aje hapo? 😂😂 👇👇
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Wewe ni ndugu yangu wa toka nitoke,,, in English ni?? 😂
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Was at Agakhan yesterday,a friend went for a paternity test she has been told that she will be having twins but one isn't compatible with her husbands DNA.
How is this even possible?
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Hapo Westlands kuna kinyozi sijawai ona ikiwa na customer anytime naingia mall but it has been open for almost 2 years now. Kwani analipa aje rent na employees?
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Tumetusi wakamba fulani hapo tukienda kisii,, Sai tumepita Narok mara kumi 😂😂💔
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In Africa, Math teachers are never sick and English teachers are always pregnant 😂😂💔
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Lakini kusema tu ukweli watchman wa mortuary anachunga nini 😂 😂
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Nimeona sticker kwa mat ati "Songea mwenzako starehe ni kwa wheelchair" 😂😂💔umeona gani? 👇👇
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Mpesa balance yako sai inakuruhusu ukunywe pombe gani? 😂 👇
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