ππ¨π πππππ€ πππππ€π π
@HowCamJokes
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Political funnyman. I'm a one-issue voter and that issue is keeping Republicans from holding public office. Also tweet about: #UVaπ #Heatπ and βΎοΈ
@howcamjokes.bsky.social
Joined January 2013
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to retweet it.
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Republicans: βsheβs not qualified.β. She was DA of a Top 10 city, AG of the 2nd largest justice department in the land, a U.S. Senator from the largest state, and the sitting VPOTUS. Last time you elected a president he was a game show host and Twitter troll so STFU.
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Genuinely wishing peace, recovery, and privacy to the troubled daughter of a United States senator who 3 days ago published nude photos of the presidentβs troubled son.
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@TheRickWilson After the most recent vote batch Lake is starting to fade from the picture like Marty McFly.
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@WillOremus Funny how he knew which party to run to for refuge when news of his sex crime was about to break.
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Last week the fabled national institutions Trump left in ruins included the presidential debate and Walter Reed Hospital. I know everything he touches dies, but I didnβt know that literally meant EVERYTHING. #ETTD @TheRickWilson.
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@RexChapman Twenty years ago Trump owned Miss Teen USA and tonight USA Teens are going to own him.
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OK I'll try a #FBR party because FFS I need more followers. Officer, Comedy Corps of the #Resistance.My π tweets deserve to be read! . #FBRParty.#FollowBackResistance.Will follow back #Resisters. Please do any:.1 Like.2 Retweet.3 Follow.4 Reply.5 Get it!. #BlueWave #Resist.
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@kurteichenwald Any lingering doubt that Trump can negotiate a nuclear disarmament deal with the North Korean government should be extinguished by the fact that tonight he got owned by K-Pop.
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@Chell_Lam @RonFilipkowski OR . hear me out . it's possible that he had no genuine legal basis to not comply with a congressional subpoena, and the Supreme Court ruled on the law. π€·ββοΈ.
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@rudepundit "It was the greatest, best attended Easter Egg Roll ever PERIOD" - future Sean Spicer. problem solved.
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@RonFilipkowski His problem was not that the bank robbery was wrong. His problem is that they wanted HIM to be the one to go into the bank with a gun. It was pure cowardice.
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Wow I canβt believe the President who had Steve Bannon and Stephen Miller on his staff dined with a Nazi. You can add the βsaid no one everβ part yourself, right?.
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There must have been a bad batch of the vaccine that caused everyone in L.A. to have a simultaneous seizure that simulated an #earthquake - thatβs just science talking.
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@elonmusk @HillaryClinton There is more than a tiny possibility that while driving a Teslaβ¦
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Another simultaneous βOh My Godβ and βBut Of Courseβ moment from the #January6thHearings . This is why Trump is Schrodingerβs Catβs Asshole.
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@Will_Bunch We know how Hitler did it. We've read It Can't Happen Here and The Plot Against America. Are we really just going to sit here and watch it go down like this?.
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@RepSwalwell I thought I was going to make it to the end without him rolling out some violent homo-erotic fantasy, but alas, the record remains unblemished. I think we all know what that's about.
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@RonFilipkowski He'll always be just a condo salesman swearing to you that the pipes are copper.
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Iβm watching the World Series and thereβs a woman front row right behind home plate in a MAGA hat and I might just have to turn the damn channel.
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@SpiroAgnewGhost "Sir, would you like to issue a short dignified statement expressing your disappointment in the ruling?". "No, let's go with the shit-flinging incoherent primal scream.".
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There it is, the most Republican tweet ever tweeted.
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@TheRickWilson I was on the right track.
Trumpβs βbig announcementβ is going to be something like a new series of MAGA Christmas tree ornaments on sale at
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@OhNoSheTwitnt You forgot to mention that he mocks the disabled but I recognize you were hemmed in by 140 characters.
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@francismmaxwell Hurricane Dorian was on track to ravage Alabama and then massacre Bowling Green.
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@gtconway3d Since it's in Westchester County, when it's seized, James should rename it Hillary Clinton State Park.
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@donwinslow . in part because of tweets like these. Every time. Every time we take power, in less than six months we get all slumpy and disillusioned and sad-sack right back into the minority. Every fucking time. We have 49 + Manchin. Work to get to 53 ffs. Work, don't depress.
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@MicheleMuse5 Slept in my Beatles shirt and woke up, fell out of bed, dragged a comb across my head, found my way downstairs and drank a cup, and looking up, I noticed I was late.
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Historical Fact: Trump's quest to serve non-consecutive terms as President would make him like Grover Cleveland if Grover Cleveland had been a Nazi.
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Ya, Iβm sure the sniper in the βDemolition Ranchβ t-shirt was hanging on Bidenβs words and very dedicated to preserving democracy.
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Tim Walz pets cats. Donald Trump hates dogs. Robert Kennedy eats bears. Choose wisely, America.
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I guess you should have read the constitution before leading an insurrection and then running for president.
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@samstein @morninggloria Actually, it's a weird trait of punditry that no matter what HRC says, explains, etc . it's always too late or insufficient.
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@atrupar I thought I was kidding!.
Trumpβs βbig announcementβ is going to be something like a new series of MAGA Christmas tree ornaments on sale at
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@TightR1 @JimCarrey All Republicans do is make change. We're talking about commemorative coins, right?.
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@Acyn If she weaved a basket it would be the first thing she ever did to contribute to society.
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A voter who believes Republicans βfired 87,000 IRS agentsβ is easy to convince that Trump will βbuild an impenetrable domeβ to protect us from a nuclear attack. There is no cure for stupid.
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Donβt get yourself in the cross-hairs of The #GazpachoPolice, those thugs are vichyssoise.
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@itsJeffTiedrich So damn close to nailing it.
Trumpβs βbig announcementβ is going to be something like a new series of MAGA Christmas tree ornaments on sale at
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You spent years obsessing over private citizen Hunter Biden and now Trump nominates a family member who is a convicted financial criminal that bangs and hires prostitutes to honeytrap his brother-in-law. And I know your grown-up response is "cry more," no need to type it.
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@JoelWBerry Damn, Elon is now pushing Incel Twitter to my timeline? Can I get rid of it for $8?.
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Melaniaβs been on a bender.
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@washingtonpost βMr. President, youβve got Putin destroying the world order while nuclear saber-rattling and also 30 beer-bellied Karens driving on 495 demanding to see the manager of masks, which do you want to deal with first?β.
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@queerBengali @aberranteyes Iβve been shouting this for years. Theyβre politicians. If you donβt reward them with votes for tilting left, they will ignore you and fish for votes to their right.
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@vermontgmg Also, Watergate was breaking the law. This is enforcing the law. Letβs not complicate it.
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@Acyn When Tucker touts Nazi "replacement theory" and a murderer cites a slew of Tuckerisms in his manifesto, there is no connection. When a teacher mentions they are in a same-sex relationship, it instantly turns your kid gay. OK got it.
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Hey y'all, since this tweet hit "viral" status for a somewhat low-traffic account, I have two requests:. First, please give me a follow, I'm pumping out quality content on a daily basis - to quote Dana Gould, "it's free, and worth it.". Second -->
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We made a man PRESIDENT who writes about "the 'PEACEFULLY & PATRIOTICLY' speech I made. " It might as well be written in crayons. My daughter teaches elementary school, and this kid would be asked to stay after class for remedial help.
Holy shit. The level of fear, lying and misdirection, as well as the spelling skills of a 3rd grader (βPATRIOTICLYβ) is quite impressive here.
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Even back in his day I never found Tim Allen funny or watched his show. Always nice when it turns out my instincts were finely honed.
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@DouglasEmhoff @KamalaHarris @CBSSunday As the self-appointed chairman of Jewish Husbands of More Accomplished Gentile Women For Doug, I approve of this tweet.
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@RonFilipkowski @LJLMD Itβs always jarring to see a member of congress in need of a screening of schoolhouse rock to learn the difference between a bill and a law.
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Imagine how much better we would all be if QElon had done what normal bored billionaire narcissists do and bought a sports team.
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@jonfavs I would like to see something like, βif you hate inflation, wait until you hear about Trumpβs across-the board tariffs, his deporting of ag workers, his raising of drug costs, his secret deal with the oil companies. The few policies he has are WILDLY inflationary!β.
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Leave it to the second stupidest man in Ivy League history to take Babylon Bee βnewsβ to a new meta level of dumbfuckery.
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@AshaRangappa_ DEMOCRATIC SUMMATION:. βBecause right matters, because truth matters, otherwise we are lost.β. REPUBLICAN REBUTTAL:. βPencil neck.β.
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I assume it's called GETTR because GRABBR BY THE PUSSR was already taken?.
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This is a tweet. The last President of the United States is not allowed to do this. π€£.
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@MaryLTrump @joncoopertweets Thanks in part to you, I had my dude pretty well pegged.
Trumpβs βbig announcementβ is going to be something like a new series of MAGA Christmas tree ornaments on sale at
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I mean, letβs be honest, Donald Trump IS a pussy ass bitch.
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@JuddLegum This is a great Trump quote, when he does that thing where heβs in the middle of a lie and he realizes itβs not big enough for his taste so he escalates it in real time. This one was like a staircase of bullshit.
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@lawofruby Excellent.
Trump owes Hillary $171,632.06 and the last time he got spanked it only cost him $130,000. Inflation is killing us.
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Itβs been 56 years since NBC cut away from the closing minutes of the Jets-Raiders game to show Heidi. CBS now joins that Hall Of Broadcast Shame with its Billy Joel Piano Man cutaway. Putzes.
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@MeyersLeonard Meyers, I respect you and all you do, and I know you're an ally at heart acting in good faith. But your reasoning is misplaced - giving helium to the sophistry that kneeling is showing disrespect to the troops, the flag, or the country is a disservice to the cause.
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@FaltusEugene @JoeBiden My mother died six weeks ago, ready to go, and only regretting not casting a (Florida) vote to get this guy out.
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Why isnβt Harris answering gotcha and horserace questions from blow-dried manchildren so voters can fairly decide whether to vote for her or a sundowning sociopathic insurrectionist? Itβs a mystery.
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@RonFilipkowski What do you call it when he just does something he's supposed to do, like show up for court, and they say he's showing "resilience and strength"?. A cult.
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@joncoopertweets Hereβs your explanation.
DeSantis didnβt visit Fort Lauderdale during recent flooding because the city is blue, the mayor is gay, and rain leads to rainbows.
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@realDonaldTrump @PhilipRucker @AshleyRParker "Nasty"? Let me check . yep, there's a woman in there. Certified "on brand".
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@UjuAnya Black people singing apparently detracted from the Romanesque spectacle of black people risking their health by smashing into each other at full speed for her viewing pleasure.
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@BradMossEsq Also, he did no such thing. Shouldn't there be Rule 11 sanctions for lying to the court like this?.
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There are millions of people who want to reinstall a man whose own hand-picked Secretary of Defense withheld that there are Chinese spy balloons in our airspace because the president was too wackadoo to be delivered that information. Alrighty then.
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@agraybee They hate that she's trying to win and by God they're going to do their level best to stop it.
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