Shayaan.☽
@Hi_Shayaan
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Mess of Sadness and Phobias.
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Joined October 2015
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The purest form of love is consideration. When someone thinks about how things would make you feel. Pays attention to detail. Holds you in regard when making decisions that could affect you. In any bond, how much they care about you can be found in how much they consider you
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Why is our angry side often addressed as our “true colours”. What about the times we gave it our all, the times we loved harder than we should have, the times we cared even when it was unreciprocated? All this love but only the bad side matters.
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Girls will be into poetry and literature but will still fall for the ones who lack communication skills.
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Some of us are just existing. No special talent, no wholesome group of friends to go on trips with, no talking stages, no relationship drama. Living in our small bubble & making fake hopeless scenarios in our head 24/7
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the period between 20 to 30 has to be the most worrisome part of adult life. You worry about so much. Your dreams. A life partner. Finances. The future. Your parents getting old. Everything. Very easy to fall in depression or develop anxiety disorders
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I hate the misconception that introverts don’t like talking. If you’re the right person, we’ll talk to you for hours on end about pretty much anything. However, it’s incredibly difficult to find the right people, so for the most part we’ll probably just stay quiet.
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When SRK said, “Mujhay dost bananay nahi aatay, banata hoon tou rakhne nai aatay, rakhta hoon tou wo rehte nai hain kabhi, rehna chahte hain tou zindagi unko mujhse cheen leti hay.” I felt that
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Kafka wrote “it would be better if you didn't come, since you'd only have to leave again” but our Faraz wrote “ranjish hi sahi dil hi dukhane ke liye aa, aa phir se mujhe chor ke jane ke liye aa”
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Wtf is this feeling. I just can't concentrate on my work. I don't like to watch any movies or series. I don't even feel good while scrolling my tl. Don't feel like talking to anyone. Headache stays throughout the day. Can't sleep peacefully. I just aaahhh. I really wanna shout
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Just realised that Urdu word for depression is “dil-shakistagi” (دل شکستگی), the defeat of heart ; the feeling that whatever wars you were fighting for sanity are lost, your walls are broken and now you need a rescue. Whoever coined it really knew what it felt like :’)
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Just know when u break someone who had nothing but pure intentions for u, it’s a debt against ur name. Whatever pain u caused upon them, Allah will make u experience that. You may be out there living life with ur temporary distractions right now, but kifarah’s real and so is hell
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She’s a 10 but she’s a reader, therefore her standards are unrealistically high
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the urge to check upon people I've stopped talking to, ask them how's life treating them and if they still have the same fears and do they still laugh on the same silly things and tell them i still think about them sometimes
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My biggest red flag is that I've normalized silent treatment when I'm not in the mood for a talk. I get distant from everybody. I don't really know how to express my feelings especially when I'm sad & hurt. I only talk to myself in my head about how I feel all the time
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When SRK said," I'm scared of attachments because I believe that every attachment that I have will finally break my heart or leave me and the only time that I cry is when I lose the people that I loved". We all felt it.
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My mother said: “Agar koi tumahe apni takleef bataie tou usse achey se pesh ana kyuke tum sirf sun rahe ho magar woh mehsos kar raha hai." and this hit me so hard
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Call me boring but a Nikkah done in a masjid with a small walima with close friends and family is more beautiful than an extravagant wedding
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This "meri marzi", "mein aisi/aisa hi hun" "Aise hi, mood nahi tha" attitude (especially with friends) can screw around with someone's mind. Learn basic rules of friendship, otherwise go hibernate somewhere in the mountains.
Gadhe kahin ke.
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I'm forever jealous of people who are not sensitive,who do take things seriously,who don't panic, don't take tension,who know how to ignore,who don't waste their time in overthinking,who don't have attachment issues,these people are the most blessed ones whom I always envy.
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Falling in love is the worst thing you can do to yourself, because loving someone means giving them the power to effect you in every way, wo achay se baat karey toh mood acha wo ignore karey toh zindagi be-rang.
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Last night while reading Alif I stumbled upon a sentence that I reread a hundred times because that's how it struck me, "Zindagi kabhi humein badshah nai hone deti, sab kuch de ker bhi humein faqeer hee rakhti hai. Kisi na kisi cheez se mehroom, kisi ke liye tarsta hua".
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i think the saddest part about being a reader, a romance reader especially, is reading all these books, you gain this image of what love looks like. you get such high expectations and have this concept of love and what you want it to be like, and it will never happen.
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I belong in the kitchen. You also belong in the kitchen. Because I am making brownies and coffee for you while you sit on the shelf and tell me about ur day.
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Girls take off their glasses to take pics and put them back on to see if the pics are cute,
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do u guys talk to someone so much that the day feels incomplete if u don’t talk to them for one day
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Masculine urge this, feminine urge that . I have no urge bro, I'm barely alive.
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nieces and nephews are so weird cuz 2 years ago you didn’t even exist and now you’re my whole world like ???
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I came from a family where they don’t talk about feelings. We fight our battles without telling a story about it. So if you find me troubled and quite, please do not ask what’s wrong , you wont get me honestly. Just be present even without words , you can brighten dark spaces
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imagine dating a poet and you're the reason behind his poetry.
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When Kashaf in Zindagi Gulzar hai said “kisi sa muhabat insaan ko buhot kamzor kardeti hay, buhot bebas, majboor, mehkum aur mujhe en teeno chezon sa nafrat hay lekin us ke bawajood tum meri zindagi ka markaz bante ja rahe hou”it hit me hard.
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Read this somewhere “mein kabhi khud ko is khushfehmi mai nahi rakha ke meri kami kisi ko udaas karay gi, logon ko loug mil hi jatay hain. kabhi badtar se behtar aur kabhi behtar se behtreen.
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repeat after me. we won’t tweet shit about our cricket team or any player because they’ve already proved themselves.
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all song lyrics in the world on one side and ‘tum hi socho zara kyun na roken tumhen, jaan jati hai jab uth ke jaate ho tum’ on the other.
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Yeah suicide is haram but making someone’s life miserable to the point that they want to take their life is also haram. Isn’t it ? Watch what you say to people because words can take someone to a dark place without even you realizing it.
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"Kisi se dill uth jana" is a real thing. its like things can never be normal the way it was, even if we try a lot, you just can't feel the same for that specific person, heart is a kind organ but once it fails to recognize someone again, it's over for them
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Why nobody talks about the pain of long distance sibling relationships? Sometimes you crave to see them, hug them, hangout with them, talk to them in person and you can’t because life.Why can’t siblings stay together for the rest of the life why do we all have to move on and
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Girls be like "colleen hoover men>>"
and then it's abusers, liars, cheaters and emotionally unavailable men.
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"Kash" is the saddest word, no word has more pain than this one. It represents longing, broken dreams, promises, and plans. It remembers what could have been. It represents what you hoped happened but didn't and it would have changed everything for you.
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the pakistani urge to listen to atif aslam, drink chai, blame everything on nazar, play ludo, have big nose, to say yaar and ajeeb in every sentence, to arrive late at social gatherings and to give CSS exams atleast once in your lifetime.
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The intimacy of "How did you know that?" "Because i know you." The intimacy of waiting for someone while they tie their shoe laces. The intimacy of sharing one earbud each. The intimacy of inside jokes that always bring laughter. The intimacy of noticing someone's nervous habits.
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People don't excite me anymore. If no one talks to me, it's alright. If someone hates me, that's fine. I do not have enough energy to argue and give time to certain people who don't have anything good to do with my state of growth. If I needed to be alone, I'll go with it
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One of the saddest things to me is when two people get to know each other inside out, secrets, fears, thoughts, favorite things, what they hate, whatever they love, and then they go back to being strangers. In a blink of an eye, a moment's tragedy becomes a lifetime's misery
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when franz kafka wrote "i’m tired, can’t think of a thing, and my sole wish is to lay my head in your lap, feel your hand on my head, and stay that way through all eternity"
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If my girl liked to read, I would get her as many hardcovers as she wants.
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We are loners. we live in books, create fake scenarios, switch different personalities, take help from music, and pretend we ain't alone.
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i realized how emotionally independent i am. i never liked showing my vulnerable side to anyone. i wipe my own tears, heal my own wounds and keep it on myself because it is no one else's responsibility to know what is going on with me.
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i want a relationship with no gender roles: we both hustle, we both cook, we both clean, we both pay, we're both romantic & we both spoil each other
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Being academically good in my childhood has completely destroyed me. Raised people's hopes for no reason. Raised my own standards for no reason. Now I cannot compete with my old self. I cannot comprehend and accept the fact that I am not capable of doing anything.
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She is a 10 but requires a lot of reassurance,she’s traumatised from the past experiences and feels like everyone’s going to leave her at some point, she has a great heart and loves endlessly, she won’t be able to bear if you ever get a little bit of distant from her.
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There are people who say "i don't have much to offer" but then they offer you happiness, they make you laugh, bring you peace, show you loyalty and it seems that they don't know that's beyond anything.
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Everyday that “Aisa lag raha hai ke kuch ghalat horaha hai jesay koi train choot rahi hai” wali feeling gets more and more relatable idk
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When Kaifi khalil said, “teri ankhon mei basta hai mera jahan”, and when faiz wrote, “teri ankhon k siwa duniya mei rakha kya hai”,
And when NFAK said, “aankhein dekhi tou mei dekhta reh gaya”
I felt it.
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Fuck a heartbreak. Y'all ever watched your loved ones not being there for you when you need them the most, you understand people's situations, their problems, their traumas, but when it comes to you, you will scream alone. Absolutely alone. Take it all personality, because it is
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“You changed” yeah I found out that tum sath ho ya na ho kiya farq hai
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Siblings are the most underrated therapist. Idk who can relate but the minute you start talking to them. Those annoying deep and full of love gossip can heal your moment. All I want is to be with them.
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When Bano Qudsia said, "Duniya ka sab se khoobsurat insaan wo hai jis se baat karna asaan ho, jis se mushkil main madad mangna asaan ho, jo dosron ke dukh aur dard main shamil rhay, jo aansoo pochna jaanta ho, marham lagana jaanta ho" she really gave all right reasons to live.
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I think there should be a break between the argument so that sensitive people can cry and come with better replies.
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when you realise the fact that dysfunctional families eat you up in the inside, that those moments of loud rage, slamming of doors, angry grunts,and yelling, had been responsible for a fucked up mind set, for the trauma that came with it, and the insecurities that still live.
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I have accepted that I'm naturally a nostalgic person. I get so attached to past memories and feel empty when it hits me that I'll never experience them again. Little things will trigger these memories and all of a sudden, I'm overtaken by intense feelings of nostalgia.
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people who read books and poetries are so attractive and they have the best vibe
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Funny how your heart is so heavy sometimes that you feel like it will burst or crush under the weight of all that grief you carry but it just doesn’t. Something about human heart, it just endures, endures and endures. Takes in all that loss and still manages to hope
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If someone has trusted u with the details of their trauma, their heartbreaks, the stories from their past that they keep hidden (trying everyday to move forward/forget)
& u throw it in their face while an argument? That’s disgusting & you’re a horrible human being.
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Funny how our heart is so heavy sometimes that you feel like it will burst under the weight of all that grief you carry but it just doesn’t. Something about human heart, it just endures, endures and endures. Takes in all that loss and still manages to hope.
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I hate my toxic attitude. I suddenly get angry or sulky. My mood swings often attack. I get hurt easily even for superficial reasons. But when I am asked why I am not going to say why. Just expect short & cold replies. So yeah, I am not surprised if people get tired of me
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It's a loop. You feel alone. You find someone to talk to. You talk to them for days. You get attached. You crave their attention. You want their every minute. You mess it up. Your interaction reduces. You stop Interating. You get sad. You feel alone.
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the urge to check upon people I've stopped talking to, ask them how's life treating them and if they still have the same fears and do they still laugh on the same silly things and tell them i still think about them sometimes
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Best friend breakups can hurt SO much worse than romantic ones. Physical intimacy comes and goes, but cutting out somebody you were at your most emotionally vulnerable with? It’s a million paper cuts to the heart, and there are no songs or self-help books for that kind of loss.
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I notice everything. And by everything, I literally mean everything. I notice when someone stops hitting me up like they used to. I notice when the way someone talks to me starts changing. I notice the little things that people do, and the little things they used to do.
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convinced when you love somebody you develop a sixth sense for them. you can feel everything they do. when they hurt, you hurt. when they’re happy, you’re happy. when they’re stressed, you’re stressed. it’s crazy.
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I'm antisocial, yet social.. I don't speak first, but when someone speaks to me I will speak to them. Some days I'm really annoying and talkative, other days I'm like a turtle, in my shell like nah today's not my day for socializing.
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very private people have mastered the art of telling you little about themselves but doing it in such a way you think you know a lot. lol
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i don't like being ignored. i hate silent treatment. i don't easily give up on people but when i feel like they don't care about me anymore and they don't show any interest in me unlike before, i think i should stop. i hate letting go of people i love but i don't have any choice
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she’s a 10 but she gets too emotionally attached to romance books because they are her only source of happiness
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Nothing scares me more than someone loving me one day and deciding they don’t want me the next, nothing terrifies me more than being so close to someone & then watching them become a stranger again, i don’t want to handover my mental peace to someone who say more and act less
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When a sensitive person gets tired and realizes how much it affects them mentally and emotionally, they hide their feelings, pretend nothing happened in order to not be called dramatic, smile when someone hurts them, and they rather people think they are cold-hearted than soft!
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Biggest flex is that I can get over people and attachments under a blink. We not good together anymore? Aight cool have a nice life and I'll have mine. No use crying over what's done.
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'tere paas yaadon ka mela rahega, tu logon mein reh ker akela rahega' if this doesn't explain my life idk what will.
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Ashfaq Ahmad says “Dard tu wo hota hai jo humen dosron ko takleef mein dekh kar hota ho, warna apna dard to janwaron ko bhi mehsos hota hai” and I think this materialistic era needs to understand it.
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What separation does to us. The heart that never settles. The aches that never end. The longing that remains the same. But life, it never stops. So we move, hiding the matters of heart till next world!
بچھڑ گئے تو یہ دل عمر بھر لگے گا نہیں
لگے گا لگنے لگا ہے مگر لگے گا نہیں
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There's something so attractive about a person with manners and politeness. Someone who knows the art of conversation, who chooses the right words, who acts civilized even if u criticise or challenge em. Finding such person in this era infested with abusive creatures is a rarity
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I believe in "mann pasand shaks mein Allah ne bari shifa rakhi hai, uski awaaz mein uski moujoodgi mein ek sukoon hai jis se insaan ki udaasi dour ho jaati hai"
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I lost many friends because I couldn't live up to their expectations. Couldn't be with them in gathering/hangout. Couldn't text/call them properly regularly. Couldn't be as friendly as I used to be. Couldn't compromise because I lacked energy. Became blunt because
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You can recover from anything but childhood traumas. Things you suffered alone, times where you wished for your own death, moments when you wanted to cry your heart out but couldn't, when all your age fellows were having the best childhood life and you'd sleep with a wet pillow.
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i never abandon any of my friends. i understand ghosting phases that we run out of social batteries and cannot uphold a conversation with anyone, but i'm willing to wait for anyone who's in that phase because i too, have been experiencing that, silence doesn't indicate+
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i confuse a lot of people, because i have a sad soul and a happy personality. i can go from feeling terribly insecure to incredibly confident. i love hard but at times feel heartless. i'm outgoing but prefers to be alone. i'm healing and hurting at the same time.
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“Ghar” is a beautiful term. It is not just a building with four walls but an emotion. It is people, memories, peace, happiness that make up a “ghar” when people say “mein ghar ja rha hun” they mean to go to a place where they can lay off their disguise, where they can rest.
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"To pray for someone is the strongest pursuit of love so when someone tells you; "you're in my prayers". It's as if they are saying: "I find you worthy enough to mention you to my Lord."
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I confuse people. I have a happy personality and a sad soul. I’m bold but shy. I love deeply, but sometimes feel heartless. I’m healing and hurting at the same time. I’m dedicated to growth, but I self sabotage. I’m trying to find peace within a lifetime of contradictions.
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Some people aren’t good at asking for help because they’re so used to being the ‘helper’ throughout their life they’ve experienced an unbalanced give and take so their instinct is usually “I’ll figure it out on my own” the self-reliance is all they’ve ever known.
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I'm definitely not the ideal kind of friend. I disappear a lot, I'm barely available, I find comfort in being distant especially when I'm dealing with my own struggles too. it's my coping mechanism, but I'll try to be there for your as much as I can that's the thing about me.
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