hussy
@HOSTAGEKILLER
Followers
35K
Following
139K
Media
2K
Statuses
26K
https://t.co/xpIfPQb8Yx https://t.co/rX3YfN6Q0k
toronto
Joined February 2014
I'm gay enough to know you only need about four of those things and the rest are because you have the shopping sickness.
184
4K
81K
"I can fix him" No. you cant. The chemicals that make you want a baby are mixing with decades of microplastics in your brain.
69
9K
76K
if i ever saw E.T., personally, in my opinion? i wouldn't hesitate to put a bullet inbetween his eyes. that is not a creature of god's design.
140
8K
51K
Smoking is tricky. it gets me out of bed, it gets me outside. It gets me talking to the boys. It lets me look a little cooler than i should. It satisfies my oral fixation and my desire to fidget. It gives me an excuse to get a little snack at the store. But it's french,.
52
4K
48K
my mom probably thought i was MKULTRA'ing myself with Youtube Poops but this is truly only something you watch on a loop before being thrown out of a Van with a loaded Firearm.
134
3K
46K
i don't like the tone of your voice. mayonnaise was invented in Spain, where these Spanish make their bocadillos. watch it. watch how you speak about sandwiches with that ugly tone of voice.
Could Americans ever accept the Spanish bocadillo. Which, as a rule, has no mayonnaise, sauce, or other scarfing lubricant?
98
3K
45K
Getting naked to shit is one of the last truly primal things the government will let you do.
49
3K
39K
(white woman in a top hat).and for my last trick? the world's first consenting dog!.
Copper, the talking dog goes viral as the internet worries he's too intelligent.
67
2K
32K
The most jewish he's ever looked (Gay shirt he's way too proud of, stern wife who's not proud of the gay shirt) Good for him.
41
846
32K
an Indian man much like this mentored me @ my first ever job—a dishwashing gig for a Vegan megacafé—and after bemoaning me for being "very slowly, no good", he proceeded to speedwash a Mug so fast it slipped out of his gloves about twenty feet and exploded like a porcelain I.E.D.
Efficiency in the Kitchen 10/10. 💨👏🏼.Clean plates. ?/10.
43
1K
29K
Hasan Piker once DM'ed me thinking I was a girl and when I told him I was a guy he blocked me, unblocked me, typed for at least 5 straight minutes, ceased to type anything, started typing again, stopped, and then blocked me again. I saw him on stream the next day drinking kratom.
96
1K
27K
(unemployed gf) .[12PM]: .Good morning.*picture of a cat*.*picture of a cat*.*picture of an opossum screaming*.honestly so me,.also,.i am actually so sad right now. (me, at the oil rig) Fuck. God fucking damn it. Fuck my ass. Fuck me. I'm going to die here. I'm going to die,.
44
4K
23K
It's less that TikTokers are inherently stupid people and moreso that TikTok is the average American's preferred social platform, and the average American is an inherently stupid person.
124
1K
23K
Honestly dune got me yolked up. Between the big worm and knife fighting with your boys in the desert and believing in god it just felt really good. I have booked a flight for Syria.
29
2K
22K
i really don't think people understand but this is genuinely maybe the smartest person to have ever come out of Laval, Quebec.
113
758
20K
i refuse to take brain altering medication. do i look like a fucking big pharma simp to you? im gonna beat this depression the only way i know how: by going on the computer for 14 hours a day.
30
3K
18K
Doctors might fluoridestare you for strongarming the E.R but if you're incredibly polite and kind and jovial even they'll let you bleed out in the Vending Machine hallway.
74
935
16K
(Silently and actively letting a stranger's cock miss the inside of my pussy) this must be sooooo embarassing for him,.
Once, a guy fucked the crease between my thigh and labia, thinking he was in my vagina, and when he finished he asked if I got off. I had to break it to him that he just fucked my leg. This is what I think of when men act like they’re equipped to make laws about women’s bodies.
65
715
15K
babe, we can't both be financially unstable. that isn't how this works. i'm rogueish, i'm a scallywag, a rascal at that, thus this was the life i was meant to live. your heart is pure! that's why you're salaried.
19
2K
16K
In 2024,.You Jacked Off.Six Hundred Times!.You Were In The Top 1% Of BAD PEOPLE.Congrats!.
34
1K
15K
George lucas getting fuck-you big off Star wars when he had the capacity for stuff like American graffiti was the 70's equivalent of the cumtown patreon.
96
333
13K
Tinder bisexual mumbling AAVE at my dick before some venus flytrap throat and I wake up screaming in 1918 somewhere in dublin.
69
2K
11K
it usually takes the average man a heroic dose of acid to feel this for even a split-second so if one ever expresses the sentiment sober it means you're playing with the nuclear football.
49
405
11K
if you can grow a racist looking moustache and "lay pipe like a stray dog" most women'll pay room and board upfront and deliberately overlook what are clearly the telltale signs of an irreversible personality disorder,.
36
587
10K
My son died doing what he loved—choking himself with a belt while furiously masturbating,.
68
583
9K
even if you want to do seinfeld revisionism it's hard to not come in as a larry david truther when all jerry's really done post-seinfeld is fight tooth and nail for the bee movie and, seemingly, this.
The first trailer for Jerry Seinfeld’s Pop-Tart film ‘UNFROSTED’ has been released. Releasing May 3 on Netflix.
65
293
10K
i for one think that the deer in the headlights knows something we don't. in that split second before the toyota corolla tears him in half, he must be tuned into something so divine that he has no choice but to stop and listen.
40
2K
9K
BREAKING NEWS:.local Fatty McFat, antidivinely-virginal stretch-marks-at-19 Engineering Student (the impetus for a departmentwide "wash your nuts, crack, AND ass—no phones in class-" eMail @ LSU) can't fathom why the Milkshake Slave would ever bemoan her torturous circumstance.
201
431
8K
you don't really escape an abusive home you mostly just move out and act like an amnesiac until people stop pestering you about basic human experiences.
9
725
8K
(francis ford coppola, half-naked in the philippines) this movie's shit, it's absolute shit—i'm reaching into my deepest darkest depths and there's nothing there but more shit, . (george lucas, drawing some little green chode on a cocktail napkin) buddhist muppet. drunken master.
10
745
7K
(off antipsychotics) I want to die in a war, I want to die in the war, I want the warhead to go off next to my house; i want to eat the warhead, I am the warhead, I'm a machine, I'm a fuckable machine. (on antipsychotics) I invended a new sandwich. peanut butter, salt,.
16
896
8K
This is how my girlfriend talks about me when I'm like dicing onions or carrying groceries home. They all have foot fetish guy brain. These people. These sickos.
12
295
6K
Not going to pretend i care about fish. they're basically plants. God put a billion dumbasses in the blue part so the apes and me could dine.
12
494
6K
zoomers reinventing cable b/c they can't figure out the sprawling esoterica of a personal computer. .
58
412
6K
Runners high is something they made up to get white people to die in the woods.
11
511
6K
He's so dead.
🧵 This is a friend of Lord Miles to give an update. 4 months in Taliban custody. He's treated very well, has several servants, loads of movies on his laptop, goes on picnics and has tea with the Taliban cabinet gov. He still loves Afghanistan.
29
99
5K
(TINDER GIRL) Are you tweaking right now?. (FOCUSING HARD ENOUGH ON HER BLOUSE TO SEE ATOMS) NO.
2
333
5K
found out i was [TRANS] by [PLAYING VIDEOGAMES]. everybody laugh! roll curtains. everything is [VIDEOGAME] or [POP CULTURAL EPHEMERA]. i was a [HEALSLUT] i was whatever a ["REAL" WOMAN] could be.
37
433
5K
uhmm, amphetamines are literally speed? you're giving children speed? yeah. yeah, we are. that's the problem. they should be giving me speed; every gas station, every dollar store, every venue of convenience, what's the worst that'll happen: i get really smart? every walmart,.
12
408
5K
you ruin the love a man has for food with all this needless rudeness. the tongue is as sensitive to things in bad taste as it is to tasting bad things. we don't talk that way about mayonnaise, friendo.
8
233
5K
It's not funny but Miyazaki walking out of his own son's film and immediately quickdrawing what I assume to be a Japanese Newport's bar none one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life.
16
177
5K
you were in the "gifted and talented" program, and then you "burned out"? thats cool. thats cool, man, you were smarter than the average highschooler, at one point in time. hey, do you wanna do some whippits? im trying to see if i can reprogram my brain by hurting it.
11
627
4K
You shouldn't tell people you grew up on 4chan. you can't grow up in your computer. you should tell 'em you were playing football or something. Nobody's gonna fact check you on something you say in earnest. That's called lying, that's how you get good jobs.
14
426
4K
@Space_b0y_ being depressive and anti-attention-seeking turns one onto what i can only coin as "old man moding".
2
64
4K
{Too high in the mcdonalds waiting room} (Whispering to cashier) Im scared but excited to be here.
3
282
4K
why do pedophile hunters always look like a different, stronger kind of pedophile. how come they don't make any that work out. if i had to hunt down pedophiles i'd probably learn krav maga. however, that's actually one of the few martial arts designed to be used on children.
27
170
4K
drawing is a very depressing medium because you'll spend much of your time struggling against its vast, complex, and yet fluid principles in this sort of frenzied attempt at capturing "something" only to be technically bested by a teenager's rendition of Naruto getting assfucked.
10
493
4K
why does getting my hair cut have to be a gendered experience where one gender gets people who can cut hair with scissors for $1 billion dollars and the other gender gets me a guy asking me why i don't watch basketball as he gives me the divorce fade.
11
219
4K
the "vibe" has definitely probably shifted b/c you can say the r-word flagrantly now and everybody with "woke" takes gets outright bullied until they stop talking.
61
123
4K
Oh my man? Hes straight Machiavellian. he does evil deeds. Lil homie shy though.
6
372
4K
No spoilers but this video literally changed my life. [HORSE EVAPORATED BY TRAIN . MP4].
22
237
4K
bro hated so hard it became soulful. this is powerful hating. he was hating with weighted clothing on and he just took that shit off. hated so hard he made art.
18
247
4K
(Mf doom) Zippity doo dah, metal masked villain aint finagle with the hoopla. Canned and branded it for street cats like tuna, . (13 Year Old Me) Oh my god fuck. Fuck. Is he allowed to do that.
14
391
4K
(trans milf) I was 23 when halo 3 came out. You were 10. (freud, in my head) I never thought we'd get this far dude im straight sweatin',.
16
850
4K
As a jobless mid-twenties fuck-up with zero prospects who can't leave his house without thinking people are following him, I have my finger on the pulse of digital-youth-culture.
14
370
4K
at no point in human history have we been able to see our death on the horizon quite so clearly. and the art, curiously, avoids engaging with this idea in good faith at all costs. i wonder why.
41
285
3K
intercutting between the CCTV and bodycam footage is so fucking funny. god's eye view of you getting your ass beat, your eye's view of getting your ass beat, point remains, you got duffed porky. .
This is Lapd police station,. Man walked into the station, pistol whip, a police officer with his own gun
14
192
4K
EnzoMatrix: i love you so much, youve made me realize the light of islam; the van is armed. Nymphette16: hahahahahaha. i love u 2. You know the rest. (FBI guy, turning around from PC to mass applause) Thats the fucking magic, baby, thats half-court,.
9
609
3K
one time, in catholic school, i asked my teacher if communion was metaphorical, because i was eight. he was about to get really mad, because i'd accidentally invented protestantism, but then he forgave me. i didn't feel any better because the adults were drinking blood.
13
189
4K
me listening to loveless again, alone in my room on a friday night
17
979
3K
You're a girl that says Retard, im a guy that's 37 years old. Could it be any more obvious. .
9
182
4K
(Some deranged shit) . (The hottest woman on earth) Literally me,.
9
251
3K
(My doctor) Do you have the brain thing that means i legally have to give you speed; do you find it hard to focus for 8 hours straight in the labor jail, are you experiencing speed do you want speed? . (Me, smiling) Absolutely.
4
160
3K
the late 60's/early 70's are back. invest in underground comics and bad weed.
14
376
3K
[bpd woman]: i will fix you.[me, inputting various slurs into a casio keyboard]: you will not.
6
181
3K
when said Indian sulked off for his half-hour lunch, i timidly asked a busboy how my pace was, and my pace was, apparently, as perfect as a busboy cares for—a few days later the Indian would come in an hour late and tell me for another hour how he was "robbed by Big BLACK Guys",.
3
19
3K
Fuck dude, this track is banging. Is this intelligent dance music?.
10
240
3K
screenshot every post you like, download every film you love, every album, video, drawing, book, and meme that means something to you. they are all ephemera. nothing on here is eternal. you have to play the part of the archivist; because no one else will.
21
464
3K
never kill yourself. instead, fail to achieve every milestone set out for you, like, "girlfriend". career. wellness. maybe because of mistakes made in youth, maybe because you are uniquely stupid. then, die of natural causes.
12
346
3K
4 Days Left for Caleb Pitts.
Homeless guy: Caleb Pitts you will die on August 5th 2023 when a stray bullet flies through your bedroom window and into your neck. Me [headphones in]: sorry brotha nothin on me.
4
114
3K
eternal classic and it's only two years old!.
7
192
3K
Re: allegations that i want to be a girl. Literally i am going 2 iraq next week. Explain how the female brain could do that. I am going to be a hero. Last post, March 5th, 2005.
11
149
2K
he would also put on through his dented blue groady JBL a playlist that i can only describe as "Despacito Autoplay" which consisted of four three-minute reggaeton songs, such as Despacito, punctuated by Youtube Ads for Indian Dating Apps. when he clocked out, everybody grinned.
4
27
3K
hey, i'm so excited to finally meet up! are You as strange and alienating as you are online?.
19
290
3K
its gonna suck when i get doxxed and have to explain to my parents and girlfriend and employer that im a weird little freak. Theyre gonna be really surprised that im a weird freak, unlike the definitely normal guy theyve come to know and respect.
4
183
2K
(Watching the clown ive paid to fuck my wife pull up in our driveway) Yes! WOO!. (Watching 15 other clowns somehow escape that little car) Stacey you have to hide,.
9
272
3K
guy culture is all about repressing joie de vivre so you don't seem gay, despite every guy activity having been founded on the implication of near-future grabass being in the cards. the last time you get to feel love is the last time your mom ties your shoes.
9
80
3K