Grizzco
@GrizzcoVP
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We are not responsible for the physical or mental damage caused during our shifts. Come join our ranks! 🇵🇸 (Parody, all tweets made are my own opinions)
Splatsville
Joined October 2022
Attention Employees!.We don't know what the fuck this is, but under the employee contract, it's your problem, not ours!
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Trouble with Snatchers? Try verbal abuse!.Works on them just as well as it does on employees. (Please do not use this technique on your crew.)
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Due to rising tensions between Grizzco and the Salmonids, we will be halting all Glowfly breeding operations beginning immediately. We hope that you understand our situation.
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THEY. WANT. US. TO. PLAY. TURF WAR??????
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Good fucking lord in heavens I apologize to any child who watched the news today.
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Grizzco HQ has been relocated to Inkopolis Plaza due to severe cases of vandalism. We apologize for the inconvenience.
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LET'S GO TEAM PAST!!
Choose Team Past so that we can stop the Tumblr sexyman poll from killing Queen Elizabeth
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The heavens have no explanation for this one, what the fuck. At this point I don't think the pay is worth it. I won't even lie to all of you. You can take the sick day.
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‼️A NEW KING SALMONID HAS BEEN DISCOVERED‼️. Despite its friendly appearance, Horrorboros is a force to be reckoned with that you will have to adapt to during your time here. Check out this thread for a few tips & tricks to help ease the fight, even if just a bit! 🧵
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The Devourer of Gods has awoken lmfao.y'all are dead keeping the job isn't worth having to work THIS mandatory overtime 💀💀
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The Salmonids are feeling restless. .
🇺🇸 Floridian Residents are now reporting purple skies over Florida. Weird.
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We at Grizzco Industries take pride in the diversity within our employees. During this month, we will be donating the value all Golden Eggs collected this month to LGBTQ+ charities!.That being said, we are closing down this month for office renovations. See you all next month!🧵.
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‼️ THIS IS NOT MR. GRIZZ ‼️.‼️ HE DID NOT ROB A STORE ‼️.
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Studies have proven that 4 year olds are more efficient at the job than most Freelancers. It is for this reason that we have decided to widen the age range for the job!.Please send your children to our HQ in Splatsville to begin their training. Thank you for your cooperation!.
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Big Run is imminent!. During the month of December, the Salmonids are predicted to begin invading the Splatlands, beginning with Wahoo World!.We need all hands on deck in order to save it. Or not. We could just leave it to the Salmonids. Would that be so bad?
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Hence why we use helicopters. What the fuck? Good luck with this.
Speaking of ocular enhancement, keep your eyes peeled this December for Megalodontia, a new King Salmonid! It's the largest observed���we estimate its bite radius at 1.4 boats wide. Yes, we're using boats as a unit of measurement! Desperate times call for desperate measurements!
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THEY EXPECT US TO. what do they expect us to do? What are we meant to do now?
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From this day, almost all GrizzcoVP related operations will cease. I want to thank you for the support I’ve received over the past year through this account, the server and my streams, but I’ll be taking a step back. More information in the thread! 🧵🐻
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The Salmonid have migrated! Allow me to introduce the new Salmon Run map. Good Luck out there!.#splatoon3 #SalmonRun
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MR BEAAAAST
2023年がやってきたぞ。.イカの若者たちも、相変わらず元気に過ごしているようだ。.いつもより余計に回しております。.本年もイカ研究所をよろしくお願い致します。
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I gave 100 CHILDREN access to ILLEGAL WEAPONS and THIS is what happened.
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Happy Queen Elizabeth Death Day!.More importantly however, tomorrow is Splatoon 3's 1 Year anniversary!.Now that we're a year in, what are your thoughts on the game?
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This might be the single most unfortunate thing I've ever seen happen in during a shift.
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Mr. Grizz has found all seven "Chaos Eggs". There is no need to panic. Please stop panicking before returning to work. Mr. Grizz will now go "Super Grizzly". We thank you for your cooperation.
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The Big Run results are in!.The Top 5% is 141 & Up. The Top 20% is 117 & Up. The Top 50% is 90 & Up. Congratulations to everyone who participated. Please do not harass players who got a higher score than you. Getting into the Top 5% is and will always be a difficult task.
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y'all ain't saving inkblot 💀.
We are halfway there!.With just 24 hours remaining, how many eggs have you gotten and what are your thoughts on the new King Salmonid and map?.
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A Small Fry was caught eating the single wire that our internet runs on. We apologize if our services are not available to you. Thank you for your patience.
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Now's your chance to be a Big Shot! (Literally. Don't make me regret this.).
Addendum from Grizzco: To facilitate this goal, we'll place Golden Egg cannons around the stages to help get them to the basket. 700 million is on the high side, but I find there's nothing to drive productivity like a goal. You agree, right? Good.
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Jesse, you need to lure the bosses towards the Egg Basket, Jesse.
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Company reminder that using your fanbase to harass minors on Twitter is not acceptable behaviour. Nor is selling a bland plush toy for $50 + shipping. Rather than supporting Dream, get out there at fetch us some Golden Eggs. Those Big Shots won't splat themselves, you know!.
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‼️ WE ARE UNDER FUCKING ATTACK ‼️.The Slaymonids have decided that it's shopping season, and they're taking our mall!.It's time to fight back, get out there!. (We are not responsible for physical or emotional damage caused by whatever the FUCK giant Maws is out there.)
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Salmon Run has proven to us that the abolishment of child labour was a mistake. The children yearn for the Salmonids.
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I'm not gonna sugar coat it, I'm at my limit. Finish the job, employee.
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And the results are in. Congratulations to everyone who participated, how did you all do? I know far too many people who got 136. Don't feel too bad if you didn't get Gold however, the Salmonids *will* come back. They always come back.
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I've recorded and posted the entire performance looped twice for your convenience!.What a genuinely amazing game.
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We recently released the Heavy-Duty Slopsuit as a reward to our employees who have put in the hard work for the past two years but what we didn't expect is for every single employee to start wearing it. Constantly. Every shift. Don't you clean it? What happened to individuality?
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While this fact is widely known, it is still important to share. During the countdown before a Wave begins, you can see which tide you will have to work with, as seen in the image below!.Please refrain from entering the Low Tide area too early however, you will die 👍
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We are excited to announce that Grizzco will be branching out into the fast food business!.Allow me to introduce Los Hermanos Salmón. Our Salmon is meticulously spiced to create food that can only be described as a delicacy. We hope that you all enjoy!
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We have created this helpful diagram in order to show you all how to deflect a Drizzler Torpedo. It is almost 2024 and some of you "people" still don't know how to do this. We have eyes everywhere. Miss another one of these and your pay will be docked accordingly.
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And the results are in!. Top 5% is 156 Golden Eggs & Up.Top 20% is 131 Golden Eggs & Up.Top 50% is 102 Golden Eggs & Up. We hope you all enjoyed, remember not to harass anyone over results, it's all just for fun!.See you all next time.
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LMAOOO yall aint saving Wahoo World 💀.
What is YOUR current Big Run score?.
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This is footage recorded during a shift ran by a Union Organiser. Please do not try to unionise. Thank you for your cooperation!.
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With the Splatoon Competitive Community on fire due to Marker Gun, we would like to remind everybody that Grizzco is hiring!. If you ever need a break from PvP, Salmon Run is a great alternative, with just as high of a skill ceiling. We have no ulterior motive here.
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New ad campaign, what do you all think?.Keep hearing something about the Run of 87, I'm sure it's nothing. right?
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To celebrate our 3,333th tweet, we are releasing 3,333,333,333 Salmonids upon your homeland. You have just over 5 hours to prepare. Good Luck!
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Union organising has been detected amongst the Profreshional +2s. Please be aware that union organisers will be forced to work mandatory Glowfly shifts. Thank you for understanding.
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Tomorrow is a better day. Easy words to say, but it's a phrase I've been holding onto for a while. Things don't look great, and maybe they won't for a while, but hold onto the hope that makes you human. Keep your head up and your spirits high, support those around you.
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I smell sulphur.
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Dear Employees,. The Salmonids are trying to cancel Off The Hook. I have a shirt I want them to sign so if this concert gets shut down, I'm taking it out on your pay checks. This is the end of the. fish war? Sure. Go show them who's boss. (It's me.). - Grizzco Industries
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As per request from our employees, our field researches have devised a way to kill a Flyfish with ease. Get this through your skull and you might stand a chance out there. Good luck. 🐻
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Our field researchers have discovered something disturbing from the Salmonids on the DeepNet. Viewer discretion is advised.
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For most of you, I believe there is peace and perhaps, warmth, waiting for you after the smoke clears. Although for one of you. The darkest pit of hell has opened to swallow you whole. Don't keep the devil waiting. Thank you for your contributions!.
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Why the fuck would they air this live on the 12PM News? We sent this in private, not to scare the shit out of Little Eddy.
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Day in and day out, it's all complaints about Flyfish. Fine, fine we'll offer some help. Here's a few tips on keeping the wretched beasts under control. No need to thank us. As an example, did you know that you can one-shot a Flyfish in a few different ways?🧵
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All employees should take on the strategy of the Last Ditch Effort Bomb Throw. Throwing a bomb delays the round ending until the bomb explodes, similar to in Turf War and Ranked Modes. Doing this can save your run! Kudos to Cash Bland for showcasing this.
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This bear is not Mr. Grizz. Please refrain from asking further.
The first trailer for ‘COCAINE BEAR’ has been released. The film releases on February 24 in theaters.
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Management has made me aware that reality is crumbling. Please be careful while working your next shift. We are not responsible for trauma caused by our shifts.
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thinking about the t-pose model for flipper floppers.ugliest creature alive
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Just over a week ago, we released a form to gather information on a few statistics regarding the job. Did you know that Marooner's Bay is even more hated than Spawning Grounds and that the Flipper-Flopper is the most liked boss (why not me)?. Let's take a look at the results! 🧵
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We are happy to announce that Grizzco will be mounting a hostile takeover on Twitter. We will be renaming the platform to "Grizzer" and promoting free speech!.(Any posts slandering our company will be promptly deleted.)
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‼️ THIS BEAR IS MR. GRIZZ ‼️.‼️ HE DID GET HIT BY A TRAIN ‼️.
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IT WAS A MISCLICK.
The reward is now given to players who had the Big Run news glitch earlier, however, the reward is based on the old top% system. Here is the result:.top 5% - 165 eggs.top 20% - 144 eggs.top 50% - 116 eggs.
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POV over the Atlantic Ocean, Santa seems to be having a little trouble. Be sure to work extra hard over Christmas to keep him safe!.Get back to work. You don't get a holiday break.
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Did you know that the dummies with stickers on them represent bosses and their healths?.The Steelhead dummy is even at the same height a Steelhead's bomb would be at!.Be sure to experiment with different weapons and find out what kills what!
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