George Pointon
@GeorgePointon_
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These views are not mine but that of children. Challenge 2️⃣9️⃣ - donate below. Teacher Man out August 15th 📖
London, England
Joined May 2009
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Pinned Tweet
I asked a group of kids to
"Give me a challenge I can complete in a day"
The four most liked will be done
A THREAD 🧵
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I asked my Year 1 classes to tell me a joke;
Here is my analysis.
A THREAD
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I asked a group of 6 year olds to 'Pitch me a new film idea'
Move over Hollywood
A THREAD
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A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said '94. He replied 'Is that 1994?'. Oh sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.
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Emma - "............I don't know any"
In normal circumstances I would have given her a 0/10 and boo'd her off the stage. However Emma is extremely shy and just standing in front of the class is a massive step for her. 8/10.
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Ravi - "MONEY CANNON"
Genre: Money
A crazed trillionaire builds a cannon and fires all his money into the air. What seems like a gesture of goodwill ultimately leads to chaos, greed and destruction. Holding a mirror to humanity and the state of society. Oscar buzz has begun.
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Mikey - "What did the Cow say to the road? - He had a cow and then the farmer didn't even know what to do"
What a fucking shit show from Mikey. No laughs. No real punchline. He walked up with a grin the size of the Cheshire cat, thinking he was Johnny Big Spuds. Trainwreck. 1/10
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I asked my year 1 classes
'If you could time travel, where would you go?'
Here is my analysis
A THREAD
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Ravi - "Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because he had noBODY to go with"
Clearly a recycled gag from a parent or uncle. Didn't matter to me. Confident style. He even had inflection in the word "BODY". Kids an absolute class act. Look out for Ravi. 9/10
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Ben - "What did the chicken not want to be? - A chicken nugget"
Factual. Thought provoking. Witty. Would be excellent on the pannel of 'Have I got news for you'. Made us all think about the greed and overconsumption of mankind. We laughed but overrall we learnt. 8/10
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I asked my year 1 classes
'What's the best thing that's ever happened to you?'
Here is my analysis;
A THREAD
510
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I asked a group of 6 year olds if they wanted to get something off their chest.
They did.
A THREAD
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I asked a group of 6 year olds "How can adults become happy?"
Take some notes
A THREAD
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END OF THREAD
My quote of the week this week comes from William aged 5
"I will never be 4 again, but I'll be happy to be 6"
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What's an item you ONLY buy when it's on offer? For me it's pringles, I'm not paying a penny more than £1.25
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I asked a group of 6 year olds "How can you tell someone is a good person?"
Opinions were expressed,
A THREAD
220
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Rory - "BURGER MONSTER"
Genre: Fighting
A burger realises that if he eats other burgers, he becomes bigger. Eventually he becomes so big he tries to destroy the world which created him. Rory will play the burger and that's non-negotiable. Fast paced, fattening and fun.
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Katie - "Why did the cow cross the road? - Mooovies"
Wanted a slice of Alice's pie. Copied her completely but with less conviction. No style or character. Even got the punchline wrong. Cluster fuckall round but I appreciate the attempt. 2/10
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Jack - "What did the toilet say? - Poo"
Poo joke. Too easy. The class erupted in a fit of laughter however I found it cheap , lazy and crass. He'll probably end up enjoying Mrs Brown's Boys. Bang average. 5/10
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513
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Toby and Wendy - "You say it" "No you Say it" "you" "No You"
Laurel and Hardy, Morcombe and Wise, Cannon and Bull, Reeves and Mortimer. Expect Toby and Wendy to be in that category soon. No joke, but the stage presence and comedic timing was second to none. Ace. 10/10.
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Rosie - "Fish...The fish....There was a fish"
Now listen up. The gag was awful. However it's this style of Anti Humour she's clearly working on because it was followed by a funny face that gained a large laugh from the class. Shes a maverick but not to everyone's taste.
7.5/10
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492
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JJ - "WORLD WAR 100"
Genre: Space war
4070. The earth as we know it has gone. Different planets are fighting over control of the galaxy. Earth, now a tiny rock called "small earth" is trying to recruit an army to defend the legacy of humanity. Blade runner meets Star Wars.
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907
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Alice - "Why did the cow cross the road? - To go to the Mooovies"
Great timing. Great Engery. It also got a big laugh from the class. She is still raw as a comic but certainly showing a lot of promise. 8/10
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Mikey - "SPIDERMAN"
Genre: I am Spiderman
Mikey gets bitten by a spider and wakes up with spider-powers. I'm not sure he understood the assignment. He's basically remaking Spiderman but casts himself as the hero. He said he wants to fight "The green one". He will also direct.
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I asked my Year 1 classes "What would you do as president of the world?"
Here is my analysis;
A THREAD
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I asked my year 1 classes 'What's the one thing you need to be an adult?'
Here is my analysis;
A THREAD
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Lola - "LOLA BUYS A CAR"
Genre: Myself
A young girl inherents £30 from an unknown source. With her new found riches, she buys a house and a new car. She crashes the car, but it's fine. It is also set in America. A coming of age, indie darling ready to sweep up Cannes awards.
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628
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Emma - "THE SEA"
Genre: People
The sea is dying. Plastic fills our oceans. Setting differences aside, the people of a small, divided town work together to clean the ocean of litter. It's a heartwarming tale, of human kindness. Emma would like to write the script if that's ok?
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Susanna - "Why did the girl not eat the biscuit? - because it had poo on it"
And just like that were back to low brow smut. Susanna is better than this and she knows it. However it was met with big laughter. Perhaps she read the room after Ben's gag. Goodnight Vienna. 6.5/10.
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Belle - "FROZEN 3"
Genre: Funny
Elsa and Anna are back but this time...ON HOLIDAY? In this meta comedy, E&A are going to Disneyland. They meet all their favourite characters but along way meet, themselves. A film about taking the time to find yourself. Sometimes in reality.
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Jack - "SKATEBOARD WHEELS"
Genre: Skateboard
A down on their luck amateur skateboarder, get a new set of wheels. However, these aren't any wheels. They're magic. They help him become the greatest skating superstar ever. But is it worth it? Basically Like Mike with skateboards
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I asked my year 1 classes 'What do parents do while kids are at school?'
Here is my analysis;
A THREAD
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Zhara - "HIDE AND SEEK"
Genre: Scary movie
A family move in to an old house. It is empty. Except for the ghost. He begins to torment the family but whenever they search for him. He hides. A suspenseful thriller that will leave you hiding. Rated PG because Zhara wants to see it
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Frankie - "Where did the poo poo go? - in the bum"
And so begins the onslaught of fecal matter based gags. This one got less of a laugh but still a solid ripple. Frankie's confident approach is what sold it for me however still a poo joke. 4/10
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I asked a group of 6 year olds to come up with a mantra to help us through life.
They had some ideas.
A THREAD
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Susanna - "A CAT. A DOG"
Genre: Animal People
Evolution has taught them to be enemies but these two creatures end up working at the same bank. Will evolution win or can these animals really become colleagues or maybe... friends. Susanna wants me to tell you they don't. Sorry.
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563
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I ask a group of 6-year-olds "Who should be the next prime minister?"
They had some thoughts
A THREAD
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I was asked by my class why I wasn't married. They decided to come up with their own theories. Some favourites;
- Too old
- Because I can't afford a wife
- Dancing skills are subpar
- Too young
- Clothes aren't good enough
- Because I eat the same lunch everyday
- Grumpy
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527
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I asked a group of 6 year olds "Invent a new Olympic sport"
These will be rated.
A THREAD
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I asked my year 1 classes to give me some 'Pearls of Wisdom' to live by
Here is my analysis;
A THREAD
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Due to my family being tech inept. I am considered the "techy one". To get this title, I have...
1) Turned the router off and on
2) Saved a word document
3) Asked for a password and typed it in
4) Turned the brightness up on a phone
5) Shown them what wordle is
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I asked a class of year 2's 'If you could change one thing about Mr Pointon what would it be?'
Here is my analysis;
A THREAD
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Ravi - 'See my Grandpa again'
I'm not crying. It's my hay fever. I have to say, my heart melted. I didn't want to pry too much. He said they played marbles together. I'm sure he was a warm and wonderful man. I'd give anything for that. Time really is the most precious commodity.
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Lola - 'My Daddy says little Sister has a head like a traffic cone'
I sprayed my tea absolutely everywhere. That is hilarious. I'm now completely fixated with the cone headed baby. I love when parents can make fun of their children. They're just as silly as we are. Lola is fun
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Alice - 'To after school'
Straight off to a belter here. She could go anywhere. I mean literally wherever, whenever (said Shakira). But Alice has decided to use this omnipotence to move, 47 minutes into the future. I took it personally to be honest. My lessons aren't that bad.
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Lola - "Smile at ducks"
As far as I'm aware, there has been no scientific evidence that proves smiling at ducks doesn't create dopamine in the brain. It would be wise to follow Lola's instructions. Who knows perhaps they smile back. Lola enjoys ducks and life. Take her advice.
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END OF THREAD
My quote of the week this week comes from April aged 4 - "You can only do a handstand if you fall down before it"
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End of thread
My quote of the week comes from Tyler age 7 - "I work better when nobody asks me to work"
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Toby - 'Meet my mum as a baby'
Netflix. Amazon. The TV channel that shows repeats of Robot Wars. Everyone please form an orderly queue because that is best idea for a film, I've ever heard! What a sweet and personal trip. Could you even imagine meeting your parents as children?
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JJ - 'Pizza isn't very nice'
There was a silence in the room. Like the last shot fired at Starlingrad. A strange stillness fell before the group. Nobody really knew how to react. It's an opinion. Certainly an unpopular one. JJ is no sheep. He knows who he is and what he wants.
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Rory - 'Loud noises are too loud'
I actually have to agree with Rory. Loud noise, especially unwelcome ones are too loud. Car alarms are obnoxious. Motorbikes hurt my ears. He personally doesn't like sound of thunder. Which I think is a brave thing to express. Thanks Rory.
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320
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I asked a group of kids
"What have you learnt this year?"
Wise beyond their years
A THREAD
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Emma - 'Take medicine back to old times'
Floremma Nightingale. Selfless and kind. She'd save so many lives. However...I'm not sure anyone would believe a 6 year old walking round with a polio vaccine. Would you? Also where does Emma drop those things off? Who does she speak to?
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192
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I asked a group of kids "If you could go anywhere on a school trip, where would you go?"
They spared no expense
A THREAD
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Belle - 'We only have 8 fingers because thumbs aren't fingers. They're thumbs'
I did know this but I had to act surprised. Children are curious creatures and need to discover things on their own. You could see the pride glowing from her smile. Nobel peace prize incoming soon.
14
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END OF THREAD
To end; A quote from Oli age 6
"I am small but I am tall when I need to be"
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I asked a child what they would give up for lent, they replied "trying" and I couldn't agree more.
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I asked my year 1 classes to tell me another joke;
Here is my analysis
A THREAD
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Mikey - 'Breakfast'
Normally I use this platform to dismantle Mikey's answers. Not today. He is staying at his Nana's and she made Chocolate Chip Pancakes this morning with a banana milkshake. I can only agree with him. Forgot seeing Plato or The Beatles. Nans pancakes please.
9
123
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I asked a group of 6 year olds "If you could be King/Queen for a day. How would you help people?"
Bow before your highnesses
A THREAD
140
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Anonymously I asked kids (aged 6) to write new years resolutions. Here are some favorites...
"Eat more butter"
"Build a mud hut"
"Learn to drive"
"Try my hardest at everything but not maths"
"Make a new language"
"Invent Google"
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579
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I have just read some graffiti in a bathroom that read "Dazza's mum is a slag" then underneath it read "Me again. I met Dazza's mum and she's actually lovely. Sorry I can't erase the original graffiti". A heartwarming story that I'm desperate to know the details.
29
510
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Jack - 'Back in time REALLY far'
"Wow, how far back?". He thought hard. Harder than he'd ever thought before. "1999". Right so, just over 20 years ago. I asked Jack what would he do. He replied 'Nothing. Go swimming.' I hate to say it but, time travel is wasted on the young.
17
149
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Susanna - 'Back to when it was just me'
Basically, she hates her brother. As the black sheep of her family she's decided to go back to a simpler time. When she was the favourite. The golden child. As the middle of 3. I get it. It's hard to be the forgotten one. So I support her.
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END OF THREAD
Id like to end with a motivational quote from a pupil;
"You don't know if you have cereal untill you look in the box"
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Ben - 'Mr Pointon's lessons'
Before we get ahead of ourselves, Ben got in trouble today so I assume he is using this as ploy to win me over. It's a pathetic, ridiculous attempt. And did it even work?..Yes. Absolutely. Back in my good books he goes. What a cheeky little scamp.
13
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Ravi - 'My baby sister'
Imagine having an older brother with the kindness and warmth of Ravi. Guiding you through this tricky world with intellect and wisdom. He adores his sister and helps her to brush her teeth and ride her bike. My big brother once threw a hoover at my head.
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Yeah, sure sex is good but have you ever been at a house party and the family dog takes a shine to you and you only
44
411
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Rory - "Don't think about clowns"
This is more preemptive advice. You won't become happy by doing this but you might not be so scared. Perhaps the secret to a more happy life is just not thinking about scary stuff. They do say ignorance is bliss. For Rory, it seems to work.
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Ravi - "Find something you love"
The kid is my happiness. He brings me joy and wisdom in otherwise troubling times. He believes the key to happiness is passion but he's not naive to think life will always be happy. It's about ebb and flow. Ying and Yang. Ant and Dec. Wise boy.
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End of thread
Quote of the week comes from Maisie age 5 - "One of my legs is shorter than the other. So, I see the world a bit sideways"
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Zahra - "Hug things with floppy ears"
This stretches everything from rabbits, dogs, sheep, cows and donkeys. Please don't go hugging urban foxes. It's not safe! Zahra is a firm believer that the floppier the ear the more happiness you will get. Try it and let me the results.
55
367
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Toby - 'When I had a McDonald's and got 2 toys but was only supposed to get 1'
Some of the class gasped. Some cheered. I definitely heard some blasphemy. But overall Toby knew this was his moment and he grabbed it with both hands. What a day for the young man. Stuff of legends.
7
210
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Lola - 'Henry the 8th'
I had to break the unfortunate news to Lola that henry the 8th is dead. She gasped as if this was breaking news. I did explain he died over 470 years ago. She gasped again. I left her to process this huge information.
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Anyone good at making posters?
(Also, to avoid confusion. They came up with the tittle and genre. We worked together on the plot)
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Rory - "They give you sweets"
Clearly the stranger danger lesson went right over Rory's head. This is NOT the benchmark for a good person. If anything it's an internationally recognised red flag! He did say "his Grandma gives him sweets", but a conversation is needed.
13
225
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Lola - "They have a dog"
I understand the sentiment. Dogs are joyful and loving which would suggest that someone who owns a dog is equally similar. It's a good indicator. I choose not to mention Hitler having a German Shepherd. I don't think Lola is ready for that conversation.
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*Bonus* - Callum (age 15) - "Remember that everyone will die anyway so it's calm. Not that serious."
Children are filled with such innocent wonder and merriment. To quote My Chemical Romance, Teenagers scare the living shit out of me. It's bleak but he's not wrong, I guess.
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Zhara - "Tell them a secret and if they tell people, then they're not nice"
The girl is a boss. She understands the world can be eat or get eaten. She will give you a chance, but just one. Not taking any crap after that. Trust until they give you a reason not to trust. Be warned
17
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Jack - "Don't cry when you don't need to cry"
Under the surface this is great advice. Understanding what actually matters and worrying about things uncontrollable seems ridiculous. Obviously we are not as amazing as Jack. Keep your head up and be kind to yourself. It will pass.
6
395
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Ben - 'Go to New York with the dinosaurs'
What Ben is expecting is loads of diplodocus queueing for the Staten Island Ferry wearing 'I love NY' t-shirts. Instead what he'll get, is eaten. Eaten very quickly as well. He's not a subtle lad. Though he reckons he could fight them.
20
132
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Wendy - ' I wouldn't. I don't want to.'
Okay so Wendy has just flat out refused to travel. She didn't want to go alone. Said she would know anyone. Which I'm inclined to agree. It's a waste of a power but Wendy is a strong independent woman so she doesn't care what you think.
20
88
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Ravi - 'Someone Kind'
A very political answer from the Ravster. Not giving specific names just characteristics. I think he is subtly throwing his hat into the ring. Which might cause a stir because he genuinely would get my vote. He fights for justice and peace. A real leader.
35
105
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Emma - "The people who don't talk, still have something to say"
Empty vessels makes the most noise. Emma is quiet and has grown in confidence since I've known her. She is an advocate for letting people be themselves. A true woman of her time. She'll make an excellent leader.
22
378
7K
Laura - 'Whenever I have dinner I give my dog green beans'
Classic kid move. What's funny is Laura thinks she's invented this. I remember a boy at my school claiming he invented whistling. We believed him. So they believed Laura. She should eat her greens though.
13
91
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Alice - 'Bubblegum Ice-cream'
The kids genuinely applauded this. As if she was Nelson Mandela on the walk to freedom or discovered the cure for Alzheimers. I can't understand why they're so gassed but I suppose the fusing of two different sweets has just blown their tiny minds
26
119
7K
I asked my year 1 classes what job they'd like to do when they're older;
Here is my analysis
A THREAD
114
1K
7K
I asked my year 1 classes
'What do adults do for fun?'
Here is my analysis;
A THREAD
91
1K
7K
I asked a class of Year 2's "What do you think teachers do all summer?"
Here is my analysis;
A THREAD
128
968
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Jack - 'Wait in the car'
Like an A-list celebrity, Jack believes that his driver is permanently waiting in the car park. This is jack's world. We are just the faceless droogs that serve our mighty leader. Parents just sit and wait like a Megabus driver outside Alton Towers.
20
156
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Rosie - 'Go to the cinema to see Hotel Transylvania 2'
Imagine going back and seeing iconic films opening weekends. Star Wars. Gone with the wind. Hotel Transylvania 2. These iconic films shaped the culture of western cinema and it's a headline on the course of human history.
12
85
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Joe - 'I like the Cinema'
Yep, fair enough Joe. I like the Cinema too. It's something he's passionate about and he wanted to let people know. His favourite film is "Dragon film" whatever that is, and he loves popcorn. I only wish I could be this content with my life. Thanks Joe
14
134
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I asked a group of 6 year olds 'What's the most important thing in the world'
Here is my analysis
A THREAD
102
1K
7K
Zahra - 'Have you played frisbee. It's when you have a plastic thing and throw at people'
I'm not sure Zahra listen to all of the rules here. You're definitely not supposed to throw it AT people. I'm worried she sees frisbee as her own personal coconut shy. Knocking heads off.
16
132
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Lola - "Speed Sleeping"
Simple. Quickest person to fall asleep wins. The twist here is loud, horrible noises will be played at random and sporadic times. Everything from car alarms, explosions to Ed Sheeran's music. It would make an excellent watch and I'm all for it! 8/10
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Susanna - "You just ask them"
Seems very straight forward really. I wish life were that simple. In Susanna's world it is. I asked her if she's a good person, she replied "don't know maybe when I'm older" I love her brutal honesty. I'll vouch for her though, she's a good person
7
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Katie - "Build a house for my mum"
I know you've seen this and gone "aww" but look deeper. She's the President of the WORLD and all she's doing is building a house for her mum. I think it's incredibly selfish. Also her mum drives a 21 plate Audi. Absolute sham. Greedy fatcats.
3
235
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Jack - 'I don't think you need anything'
I'm actually convinced he's the smartest person alive now. He's just unfazed by everything. As if he's got a 3rd eye or already lived a thousand lives. He knows nothing matters. You're only really adult when you decide to be. Genius lad.
8
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Ravi - "Some people have kind faces"
The eyes are window to the soul and i'm convinced this boy can see into all of ours. He's right. Some people have that kind of face that warms the heart. Makes you feel at ease. Like a smile from a friendly postman or retired traffic warden.
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